"We saw your rainbow flag," Goat Guy said, and Bug Dude smiled even wider. "You guys headed to the sanctuary?" chapter 15 Nelson had first learned about the Radical Faerie sanctuary while surfing the Web one weekend. He immediately felt drawn to the images of guys living in the forest and wearing zany outfits: cheerleader skirts and military boots, women's wigs and cowboy chaps, or ... barely anything at al.

And he identified with one description of the loosely knit group: "an anti-mainstream radical fringe of free-spirited queers." How like Nelson was that?

"You must be Faeries!" he now yeled excitedly at the guys who'd emerged from the pickup truck along this backwoods road.

"Yeah." The realy cute one in the pelt gave Nelson a sexy smile. "This is Lady-Bugger and I'm Horn-Boy." He raised the panpipe dangling from his neck and blew a few notes while Lady-Bugger danced in the headlight beams, his cape flaring behind him.

The Faerie guys seemed exactly like Nelson had fantasized: crazy, wild, and cute. Lady-Bugger reached his arm out to swing Nelson, and he gladly joined in. "Hey, I'm Nelson and this is ..."

He turned to see Jason staring warily, like the proverbial deer frozen in headlights. "This is Jason. We ran out of gas. Are you guys from the sanctuary?"

"Yeah, that's where we're headed," Horn-Boy said, ending his panpipe tune. "We've got gas. Out here we always carry a ful can in the truck."

"Oh look, there's a third one!" Lady-Bugger waved and caled "Yoo-hoo!" as Kyle emerged from the car, stepping up behind Jason.

"This is Kyle," Nelson said, and told Kyle, "These guys are from the sanctuary."

"Um, hi." Kyle extended his hand a little nervously.

Why is he nervous? Nelson wondered. These guys were awesome, especialy supercute Horn-Boy.

After shaking hands with Kyle, the two Faeries searched the truck for the gas can.

Jason puled Nelson over into a huddle with him and Kyle.

"Dude," he whispered to Nelson. "These guys are freaks. I'm not going to that place." Kyle nodded in agreement. "Maybe we should go on to Nashvile instead."

"They're not freaks," Nelson whispered back. "They're just gay people like us."

Jason roled his eyes. "Like you, maybe. I'm not going with them."

"Here you are." Horn-Boy brought the gas can to Jason.

While they poured it in, Nelson puled Kyle aside. "Would you chil your boyfriend, please? I want to see this place." Kyle glanced over at Lady-Bugger flapping his cape mothlike in front of the headlights. "Are you sure these guys are safe?"

"Kyle, they're Faeries. What's the worst that can happen? They tie us up and perm our hair?" Kyle didn't laugh. His eyes shifted among Horn-Boy, Lady-Bugger, Jason, and back to Nelson before he finaly said, "Okay, I'l talk to him." Nelson decided not to take any chances. When Jason finished pouring the gas and Horn-Boy said, "So, are you guys going to folow us?" Nelson told him, "Yeah, but can I ride with you?"

"Dude!" Jason hissed, but Nelson was already climbing into the truck cab, teling Horn-Boy, "Those horns are so cool." He took a seat between the two guys and watched to make sure Kyle and Jason folowed behind. As the pickup roled down moonlit valeys and wound around blue hils, Lady-Bugger and Horn-Boy explained how Faeries existed al over the world, some in live-in communities like the sanctuary. Nelson listened eagerly, imagining a place where no one hassled you for being crazily queer, a place where you could be totaly yourself.

After a while Lady-Bugger turned down a dirt road. Each time the truck bounced, Horn-Boy's leg gently bumped Nelson's knee and Nelson let it stay there. The touch was the biggest thril Nelson had gotten since Jeremy. In fact, Horn-Boy's little goatee reminded him of Jeremy's and how the hairs had tickled when they kissed.

"So ... like ... are you two a couple?" Nelson asked.

Horn-Boy and Lady-Bugger gazed across Nelson at each other. Then Lady-Bugger winked at Nelson. "Mostly." Horn-Boy folowed with a mischievous grin, which looked even more impish with the horns atop his head. "We have an open relationship."

"Wow," Nelson said. He realized he sounded like a kid, but he'd never met anyone in an open relationship.

A lantern appeared on the dark road ahead of them, iluminating someone in white face paint and a shimmering red kimono. The figure gave a silent bow, welcoming them into a parking area, and Lady-Bugger explained, "That's Yoko Kim-Ono." Jason parked Nelson's car alongside the truck, while Nelson climbed from the cab to see a half-dozen guys, ranging in age from late teens to sixties, giggling and chattering.

"Wel, hey, cuties," said one in a pink miniskirt and cowboy boots.

"Welcome to Faerie Land," said another in overals and high heels.

Nelson's skin tingled as if electrified. Ever since he was little, he'd loved to dress up, whether as a pirate, a sheik, or in his mom's gowns and heels.

"Isn't this place great?" He spun around excitedly to Kyle and Jason, only to find them pressed so nervously together they almost looked like conjoined twins.

"You guys want to find something to wear?" Horn-Boy asked, and led the boys past log cabin homes to a barn filed with dresses, skirts, and shoes. While Kyle and Jason watched, Horn-Boy held a black leather vest up to Nelson. "Take your shirt off and try this on." Nelson hesitated to remove his shirt, confiding in a smal voice, "My chest is too skinny."

"Naw!" Horn-Boy winked and smiled. "Skinny guys are cute." He persuaded Nelson and puled him in front of a mirror. "See? You look great. Now how about a skirt?"

Nelson picked out a red pleated plaid skirt, monogrammed IMMACULATE CONCEPTION GIRLS' SCHOOL, while Jason roled his eyes, crossed his arms, and mumbled something in Kyle's ear.

"Stop being such goobers," Nelson scolded them. "Have some fun! Pick something out." He convinced Kyle to wear a ruffled blue tuxedo shirt ("Very sexy!") but couldn't budge Jason into anything, not even a little white sailor's cap that would've looked adorable on his dark curly hair.

"You guys hungry?" Horn-Boy asked, casualy taking Nelson's hand. "Let's go eat." That marked the first time a guy had held Nelson's hand since Jeremy, though he tried not to show it. He didn't want to seem too eager. Besides, he wasn't quite sure how he felt about the "open relationship" thing.

Horn-Boy guided them to a clapboard house emanating music, with a sign on the door: WORK-FREE DRUG PLACE.

Inside, the rooms glowed in candlelight. Faerie shadows danced across the wals, cast by a crowd of uniquely dressed guys and women. Jason's eyes grew wide, as if in disbelief, whereas Kyle looked more curious.

At a buffet heaped with bowls of roasted tofu, summer squash, apple-raisin salad, and grapes, the boys piled their plates. Then Horn-Boy led them to a table where a bald guy wearing a bone through his nose introduced himself: "Hey, I'm Sonny Bone-Nose." And a bearded man in a nun's habit said, "I'm Sister Missionary Position."

Kyle moved his food around his plate and asked, "Um, so, like, can you tel us more about the Faeries?"

"Wel," the bearded nun explained, "the group started with Harry Hay."

"The Harry Hay School!" Jason abruptly broke in. "That's the name of the school where I'm speaking in L.A.!"

"Harry pioneered the gay movement," Bone-Nose elaborated. "He believed that we as gay people see life through a different window. That's why the mainstream is scared of us."

Jason nodded as if trying to understand. It made Nelson feel glad for insisting on coming here.

After dinner and cleanup, the boys joined about a dozen Faeries on the rug of the living room for something caled a "Heart Circle."

"Someone starts the circle," Horn-Boy explained, "by raising the talking stick." In the center of the room lay a foot-long knobby piece of wood, worn smooth and dangling with multicolored beads and feathers.

"When the stick comes around, you either pass or speak about what's in your heart." As the stick began going around, individuals talked about al sorts of life stuff. A guy with a Mohawk was scared because his sister had been diagnosed with breast cancer. A woman in a footbal jersey felt hurt because her girlfriend had moved back in with her parents. And an old white-haired guy was excited about going to trapeze school.

Nelson listened in amazement as people spoke so openly about their sorrows, dreams, and joys. When the stick reached him, Nelson rubbed his fingers along the smooth wood. "I think you guys are awesome," he told the group. "It's like The Wizard of Oz when you suddenly go from black-and-white to Technicolor. I haven't felt this excited since Madonna kissed Britney."

The crowd laughed and Nelson passed the stick to Kyle. "Um ..." Kyle said. "Thanks for letting us stay with you." He passed the stick to Jason, who merely said, "Ditto. Thanks," and quickly passed it on.

When the circle ended, Horn-Boy helped the boys unpack the car. He guided them by flashlight to a meadow behind the cluster of houses and helped them set up their tent. "You'l have a glorious view of the valey in the morning." As he spoke, a drum began beating in the distance, quickly folowed by another.

"The fire circle's starting. You guys want to come?"

"Of course!" Nelson said. He didn't want to miss anything.

But Jason complained, "We should go to sleep."

Kyle grabbed his hand. "Come on! I'd like to see it too."

Once again Horn-Boy took Nelson's hand, and Nelson wondered what had happened to Lady-Bugger. Was their relationship so open they parted ways that easily? Nelson appreciated how Horn-Boy had looked after them al evening and he definitely got Nelson horny, but Nelson couldn't help worrying. Didn't Lady-Bugger feel jealous and left out?

Horn-Boy led them along a forest path toward the slowly beating drums. Ahead in the darkness, Nelson began to make out silhouettes of men and women gathered around the flames of a blazing fire, like a primal tribe-some drumming, some swaying, some sitting on boulders.

As the boys stepped into a circle of several dozen Faeries, Nelson exclaimed, "This is so cool!"

"You mean weird," Jason muttered.

A young woman welcomed them. "Hi. I'm Voluptuous Clorox. Want to sit?"

She was conspicuously topless, except for a silver ring on her left boob. Nelson tended to get woozy at the sight of female breasts, but not Jason.

"Thanks!" Jason told the girl, suddenly more enthused than he'd been al evening.

As they sat beside her, Kyle whispered to Nelson, "What's that burnt smel?"

Nelson spotted a marijuana joint being passed around the circle. He'd tried pot before and liked how it made him laugh. It also made him even hornier, if such a thing was possible.

But when Horn-Boy passed Nelson the joint, Kyle nudged him in the ribs. "Don't! I think it's marijuana!"

"I hope so," Nelson replied, taking the reefer.

"Nelson!" Kyle reached out, trying to block him.

"Kyle, you're not my mom!" Nelson puled away. "Stop acting like her."

He inhaled a toke. The smoke irritated his throat, but he held his breath anyway. His lungs burned like fire til he finaly exhaled, trying not to cough.

Kyle shook his head in disapproval and passed the joint at arm's length past Jason, who was more preoccupied with seeing bare-breasted girls than with smoking weed.

Nelson's brain began tingling. After taking a couple of more hits off the circling reefer, he turned to Horn-Boy and burst out in uncontrolable giggles. The horns on his head suddenly looked so funny-and sexy. Really sexy. And al of a sudden Horn-Boy's relationship with Lady-Bugger seemed irrelevant.

"Hey." Nelson raised his hand, fondling the horns and giggling. "You want to go walk in the woods?"

"Sure." Horn-Boy grinned, standing up in his pelt.

"We're going with you," Kyle announced, yanking Jason away from Bare Boobs Girl.

The sight of it sent Nelson howling with laughter, til he finaly calmed down enough to ask Kyle, "Why are you folowing us?"

"Dude, because you're totaly stoned," Jason told him.

"You are both so controling!" Nelson protested, but he couldn't stop laughing. He wrapped his arms around Kyle and whispered, "I'm so wicked horny." He gestured toward Horn-Boy. "And he is so cute."

Kyle leaned into Nelson's ear. "Don't! You'l end up doing something unsafe."

"Oh, Kyle! You're worse than my freaking mother!"

"Guys?" Horn-Boy stepped between them. "I'm going back to the fire."

"Don't go!" Nelson begged, and then cracked up again as he watched Horn-Boy stride away. "Kyle? Why are you ruining my life? You and Jason have each other. I don't have anyone!" He colapsed onto the dewy ground, wanting to cry but instead giggling. "Al I want is what you have. Why won't you let me?" Kyle sat beside him, wrapping an arm around his shoulder. "You're stoned. I don't want you to get hurt." Nelson gazed up into Kyle's eyes, wanting more than anything to kiss those cute thin lips. But he wasn't so stoned as to have forgotten the time he'd tried kissing Kyle and gotten shoved away.

"I'm going back to the fire," Nelson now announced, pushing himself off the ground.

And Kyle folowed him, with Jason in tow.

chapter 16.

Kyle watched Nelson strip off his vest, toss it to the ground, and join the line of half-naked dancers circling the fire to the frenzied drumbeat.

For Kyle this whole Faerie experience seemed both over-the-top fascinating and also a little overwhelming-like coming upon a whole tribe of Nelsons. He'd always admired his best friend's outrageous individuality, but he never imagined an entire community like him.

Adding to Kyle's sense of being overwhelmed was the sight of female breasts for the first time in his life-live and in person.

Any doubts he'd ever had about his gayness were immediately dispeled as the bare boobs jiggled past, only inches away. Reflexively, he turned away. Yep, he was gay. No doubt about it.

In contrast, Jason grinned a ful show of pearly whites each time a pair of girl-boobs paraded by, causing Kyle to squirm nervously beside him. His boyfriend's sexual feelings toward girls had always been a source of confusion for Kyle. And after picking Nelson's vest off the ground, dusting it off, and folding it neatly on his lap, Kyle held tight to Jason as they waited for Nelson to tire out.

Around midnight the drumming reached a fever pitch. A guy with deer antlers strapped to his head, wearing only a bearskin cape and high-tops, leaped over the fire. Several young men in camouflage pants with ferns growing out of their pockets howled at the moon. And Voluptuous Clorox whirled bosomy circles around the flames.

Folowing that, the drumming and dancing waned as Faeries drifted off into the woods toward their houses.

"It's time for bed," Kyle told Nelson.

"But where's Horn-Boy?" Nelson asked.

"Forget him, dude," Jason said. "Let's go to sleep."

They stopped for water at the main house, then the three of them climbed inside their tent and crashed, exhausted.

A couple of times during the night, Kyle had to nudge Jason to rol over to stop his snoring. But other than that, he slept peacefuly, his arms encircling the boy he loved.

And that's how he woke the next morning, watching the dawn's soft light slowly iluminate Jason's face. As birds cooed their morning songs, Kyle's entire being yearned to make morning love. But unfortunately that wasn't going to happen today, with Nelson there.

Kyle sat up and put on his glasses. Gazing out the door, he saw that their tent overlooked a seemingly endless valey, flanked by layer after layer of mountains.

When Jason stirred behind him, Kyle whispered, "Look! That's like our life, stretching into the future."