As they drove past the exit for Tech, Nelson watched Kyle quietly rest his hand on Jason's shoulder. That was just like Kyle: always knowing the right thing to do or say. Unlike himself, who seemed to constantly screw up.

"It sucked how they took your scholarship away," Nelson now told Jason, trying to be consoling. He lifted Melissa's Barbie off the seat beside him and imitated a little girl's voice: "Bad Tech!"

Jason turned and gave him a dirty look. "I'm over it, okay?"

Nelson put the dol down and glanced in the rearview mirror. Kyle was glowering at him, shaking his head. Nelson let out a sigh. Once again he'd messed up.

The three of them were silent after that, listening to the stereo and watching the clouds darken overhead. As they approached Pulaski, Kyle suggested they set up camp, "before it starts raining."

They checked into the High-N-Dry Campground, choosing a site near the basketbal court. Kyle and Jason began unpacking the tent and sleeping bags, while Nelson grabbed a pine branch, sweeping the ground, clearing away sticks and rocks. "Let's put the tent down over here ..." He pointed. "And the picnic table over there, so we'l a have prettier view of the mountains."

Kyle laid the tent where Nelson suggested and began assembling the poles.

"This is supposed to fit three people?" Jason stared at the tiny dome.

"Wel ..." Kyle shrugged. "I thought there'd only be two of us when I bought it. But the carton said 'Two to three people.'"

"It'l be cozy." Nelson winked at Jason, smiling.

Jason didn't smile back. Without another word, he grabbed his basketbal from the car and headed toward the court.

"Why's he always so cranky?" Nelson whispered to Kyle.

"He's not," Kyle replied. "Why do you keep antagonizing him?"

"I don't! At least I don't try to."

"I think you do." Kyle pounded the tent stakes into the ground. "Ever since this morning-suggesting the dol was his, blasting your music, smoking even though you know it bothers him-"

Nelson crossed his arms. "Kyle, I've always smoked, I always listen to music loud, and his sister said it was his dol. He's the one who treats me like I'm a freak."

"He does not. And that's not the issue."

"Then what's"-Nelson raised his fingers into curved V-signs for quotation marks-"the Issue?"

"The issue is you keep teasing and provoking him. Don't deny it! I know you. And as for your smoking and music, can't you think about someone besides yourself and what they might like for a change?"

Nelson clamped down on his jaw, feeling a twinge of guilt.

When Jason tramped back from the court, Nelson offered his cel phone. "You want to cal your mom and sister and tel them about the bears?" Jason eyed Nelson a moment, then accepted the phone. "Thanks."

"Sure. Talk as long as you want." Nelson flashed Kyle an exaggerated grin. "I'm going to shower." When he reached the bathhouse, he found it a little decrepit, but clean. The shower curtain didn't close al the way, but Nelson didn't care. He was alone anyway.

He'd dried off and was dressing when Jason walked in.

"I left your phone with Kyle. Thanks for letting me use it."

"Sure. Anytime," Nelson replied, watching in the mirror as Jason puled off his T-shirt, revealing his smooth olive-skinned chest.

Although Nelson had always considered Jason good-looking, he'd never been overly attracted to his straight-boy energy. But that was before seeing his tight pecs and ripped abs. Now he had to fight the urge to turn and gape "Is there hot water?" Jason asked, stepping into the shower stal in his boxers and puling the curtain as closed as it would go.

"Yeah. It's great."

Nelson watched Jason's undies alight on the curtain rod and continued to stare into the mirror, rubbing moisturizer on his face til he'd probably clogged every pore.

He felt like a total perv for hoping to snatch a glimpse of something, but he couldn't stop himself.

"Hey!" Jason shouted.

Nelson jumped, his heart skipping a beat.

"I forgot my shampoo." Jason puled back the top of the shower curtain. Streams of water trickled down his soap-foamy chest while the plastic curtain covered his lower half. "You got some I can borrow?"

"Sure!" Nelson grabbed his shampoo, dropping it not once but twice as he stumbled toward Jason.

"Thanks." Jason grabbed the plastic bottle with his free hand and puled the curtain closed behind him, but not before Nelson caught a peek at his glistening butt.

Okay, now he really felt like a perv. "Anything else you need?" Nelson shouted.

"No, thanks," Jason yeled back. "Kyle bought some food at the camp store. He can probably use your help with the fire." Kyle who? Nelson wondered. Oh, yeah: Kyle, his best friend. Jason's boyfriend. Nelson watched himself turn red in the mirror, flooding with guilt. "Okay. I guess I'l go help him." Nelson hurried out of the bathhouse, although he did try to catch one last glimpse though the gap in the shower curtain.

You're such a mess, he told himself as he flip-flopped down the gravel path back to the campsite. How could you try to check out your best friend's boyfriend like that?

Kyle stood over the charcoal gril, trying to get the fire going. "What took you so long?" He glanced up. "Something wrong? You okay?" Nelson stared back, his face burning with shame. "Kyle, I-Jason ... I'm sorry.... It's just-God, he's beautiful.... I mean he's really beautiful! " Kyle examined him a moment before proclaiming, "Wel, duh! Like you never noticed that? Hel-lo! Can you hand me the lighter fluid?" By the time Jason returned, Nelson had finaly calmed down enough to eat his hot dog without envisioning Jason in the shower. As the boys ate, a couple of raindrops sprinkled, but not enough to stop them from roasting marshmalows for dessert.

"Oh, crap!" Nelson leaped up from the picnic table. "I totaly forgot. You guys want some rum?" He ran to the trunk of the car and dug out a bottle.

"You never said you were bringing that," Kyle complained as Nelson opened the fifth.

"Can I have some?" Jason's eyes widened eagerly. "How'd you get it?"

"Paid some homeless dude." Nelson poured a generous shot into Jason's Coke can. "Want some?" he asked Kyle.

"No! I don't think they alow alcohol in the campground. Why'd you bring that?"

"Just have some, Kyle. It'l help you chilax." He tried to pour some into Kyle's Coke, but Kyle puled his can away. "I told you, no! I wish you hadn't brought that."

But Nelson was glad he did. He loved the sense of acceptance drinking gave him. It helped him relax, made him feel like he belonged, and alowed him to say things he otherwise wouldn't. By the time he'd finished his first drink, he was admitting to Jason, "I was so jealous when you and Kyle first started going out." And by the end of his second drink Nelson told Jason, "Dude, you've got such an awesome body." Beneath the picnic table his foot accidentaly bumped into Jason's, and Nelson let it stay there.

"I think you've had enough to drink," Kyle told him. "Come on, Jason. Let's get ready for bed." Kyle stood up and Nelson realized it hadn't been Jason's foot he was stroking. It was Kyle's. Oops.

Nelson didn't feel like going to bed yet, but he didn't want to stay outside by himself either. Besides, it was starting to rain, so he went with Kyle and Jason to brush his teeth, merrily singing "Three Blind Mice" as he trailed along.

When they returned, Nelson climbed into the tent first.

"Excuse me," Kyle said as he and Jason crawled in after him. "Could you please move over to one side, so I can sleep next to my boyfriend?"

"But I wanted to be the sandwich," Nelson protested, giggling. He moved his sleeping bag over and al three boys began to peel off their clothes.

Kyle remained in shorts and T-shirt, Jason stripped to his boxers, and Nelson started to tug off his own underwear.

"I knew you'd try that." Kyle grabbed Nelson's wrist. "Don't even think about it."

"Kyle! You know I always sleep nude. It's roasting in here. Jason doesn't mind. Do you?"

"You're drunk," Jason said, and roled over.

"Let go of my wrist," Nelson told Kyle, shaking him off.

"You're being a jerk," Kyle replied. "Now would you keep your shorts on?"

"Yes, Mommy," Nelson agreed and laid down.

Kyle switched off the battery lamp. Across the darkness, Nelson heard him kiss Jason.

"Go ahead," Nelson told them. "Don't mind me. I'l just lay quiet over here by myself." He punched his pilow, unable to get comfortable, but the patter of rain and the rum in his brain put him to sleep within seconds.

chapter 13.

Kyle refused to let Nelson's drunken craziness ruin his first night together with the boy of his dreams. He'd waited way too long for this moment. He wrapped his arms around Jason, something he yearned to repeat every night for the rest of his life, and breathed in his musky athletic scent.

His entire body ached to do more than merely hold Jason-but no way with nosy Nelson there. Instead Kyle contented himself with whispering into Jason's ear, "I love you."

"Back at you," Jason responded and turned to kiss Kyle, his breath stil tasting faintly of alcohol.

That worried Kyle. What if Jason turned out to be an alcoholic like his dad? Kyle had heard the disease ran in families. And he knew how violent and abusive Jason's dad had been. What if Jason became like that?

Kyle hugged Jason tighter, trying to quel the troubling thoughts, and Jason gripped Kyle's arm around his chest, reassuring him. The fact was Jason hadn't gotten drunk, or violent, or abusive tonight. He lay gently beside Kyle, the quiet thumping of his heart guiding Kyle to peaceful sleep amid the patter of raindrops.

Sometime later in the night, the rain subsided. In the ensuing calm, Kyle learned something new and unexpected about the boy he loved: Jason snored. Very. Loud.

In fact, so thunderously loud that at first Kyle thought surely Jason must be awake and kidding around. But Jason gave no sign of joking. He lay on his back sound asleep.

Kyle's dreams about spending every night of his future life together with Jason had failed to include this detail. And he felt clueless as to what to do about it.

On the other side of Kyle, Nelson tossed and roled in his sleeping bag. Finaly he groaned, "Kyle!" Even though Kyle clearly heard him, he lay silent, feigning sleep, while Jason rumbled and wheezed.

"Kyle!" Nelson insisted, his hand landing on Kyle's shoulder, shaking him. "I know you're awake. No one could sleep through that racket, so stop pretending."

"What do you expect me to do about it?" Kyle whispered. "It's probably 'cause of your rum."

"Do some thing!" Nelson brought his hands to his ears. "My head feels like a truck is roaring though it. How can anyone sleep like that? Shake him awake."

"I'm not going to wake him."

Even though Kyle said it in a whisper, Jason's cacophony abruptly stopped as he raised his head toward Kyle and Nelson. "Wha's up?"

"Nothing." Kyle gently patted his arm, not wanting Jason to feel bad for waking them. But Nelson sat up and shouted, "You're snoring! Like, realy, really loud."

"Oh," Jason mumbled. As if he'd been through this before, he roled face down onto his stomach and returned to sleep.

Kyle waited, and he could tel that Nelson was listening too. But Jason's snoring was now replaced by soft rhythmic breathing.

"Thank God!" Nelson exclaimed. "He'd better not do that the whole trip."

Kyle's annoyance at Nelson returned, but, too exhausted to pursue it, he drifted once again to sleep til awakened by Nelson newly complaining, "Now what the hel is that noise?"

Kyle blinked his eyes open. Morning sunlight streamed through the mesh tent door, piercing the fog of Kyle's sleepy brain, as he tried to identify the pounding outside.

"Basketbal," he told Nelson and sat up, putting on his glasses to peer out the door.

Kyle watched as Jason dribbled up and down the court, dodging sunlit pools of rainwater, his tanned skin glowing in the early morning sun.

"Do you ever have days," Nelson muttered, "when you wake up and just want to kil someone?" Kyle ignored him and climbed from the tent, gazing admiringly at Jason's leaps and sprints. "Good morning!" He waved happily as he walked past Jason to the bathhouse to wash up and put his contacts in.

When he returned, Nelson was crawling out from the tent, scowling and puling the hood of his pocketed red sweatshirt over his head. Grumbling something about murder, he puled his cel phone out from the car charger and started toward the bathhouse.

"Hey, sorry about my snoring," Jason shouted as he dribbled across the court. "At basketbal camp my roomie mentioned it. You just have to tel me to rol over."

"Whatever." Nelson waved his hand, dismissing the apology.

"Hey, you want to shoot a few with me?" Jason asked.

Nelson stopped, put his hands on his hips, and glared from beneath his sweatshirt hood at Jason. "I do not play basketbal."

"That's okay, I'l teach you." Jason gave an encouraging smile. "Hey, Kyle! Tel Nelson how I taught you to shoot!" Kyle recaled how Jason had taught him to pitch crumpled scratch paper perfectly into the wastebasket, while Kyle helped Jason study math. It had been a step in their friendship.

Apparently, however, it wasn't going to be a part of Nelson's friendship. "Forget it!" he told Jason and started once more toward the bathhouse.

Jason watched him traipse away, then gave a shrug and tossed a perfect swoosh.

Kyle walked to the camp store, bought some milk and bananas, and returned to their site to prepare cereal. Beside the wooden picnic table he found the rum bottle from last night, stil three-quarters ful. An instant later he was pouring it out, watering a pine tree.

"What are you doing?" Jason asked, walking up from the court.

"I didn't come on this trip to watch Nelson get drunk every night." He tossed the empty bottle into the trash can. "Want some cereal?" Kyle prepared them each a heaping bowl and said to Jason, "Can I ask.... How can you drink after everything that happened with your dad?" He hoped Jason would respond with something like: I'm sorry, Kyle. l can tell it worries you. I won't do it again.

But instead Jason chomped hungrily on his Wheaties. "I'm not a drunk," he said simply. "I know when to stop."