"You probably saw that sign outside." Jason pointed toward the street. "'Stop brainwashing our kids.' Wel, I was one of the ones brainwashed. That beating convinced me there was something wrong with me for wanting to kiss another boy like me." Jason glanced down at Kyle again, and he felt as much adoration for him as he saw reflected in those eyes.

"I think for me the worst part of growing up gay was the loneliness that folowed that beating. I became a prisoner locked up with my feelings. Of course I knew there were other kids, those like you. I heard the names you got caled. I saw you getting beat up. And I'm ashamed to say I stood by like a coward, afraid to speak up, for fear my own secret would come out. And I hated myself for that."

Jason swalowed hard. Where were al these words coming from?

"Another sign outside says, 'Repent or burn.' I think in my case it happened the other way around: I spent most of my childhood burning inside ...." He paused and took a deep breath. "I've repented now, and I'm standing up for myself, and for you, and for thousands of others like us al across America." The audience burst into applause at that, startling Jason.

"As I drove across the country with my boyfriend and best friend ..."

Was he actualy caling Nelson his best friend?

"... we met some amazing people: a whole community of gay guys and women in the Middle of Nowhere, Tennessee, living free and being themselves...." Wait a minute, hadn't he thought they were weird? From where were al these new thoughts coming?

"We met this transgender girl who's just so happy being able to be herself as she always knew she was meant to be. And these two old guys in an RV, just loving each other and growing old. And I realize the reason I'd been so afraid to come out was for fear I'd be al alone." He scanned the audience. "But I get it now. I understand why it's so important to come out, and speak out, and reach out, and to have schools like this. And also, why those people outside with the signs are so afraid of us. Because when we stop being alone, we get what I had on the court: a team to play with, to work with, to encourage each other, and to be there for one another, stronger than any single one of us could ever be." The crowd roared into applause again, once more surprising Jason, so much so that he lost his train of thought. He felt like there was something more he should say, but al the clapping had brought his nervousness back and he decided: better quit while ahead.

Then he remembered to say "Thank you," and as he glanced down at Kyle and Nelson, he suddenly realized what else he wanted to say.

"Before I leave, I want to introduce you to my boyfriend, Kyle, and our best friend, Nelson. Without them, I would never have gotten here." At that the crowd stood in ovation. Kyle gazed up at Jason, and it was al Jason could do to keep from choking up and making a sobbing fool of himself in front of al these people.

Then he was out in the lobby, feeling like he realy was a rock star, crushed by little freshmen and sophomores on their first day at this new gay school, asking him to sign their notebooks-kids with green hair and purple hair, with earrings and nose rings, kids he wasn't sure were boys or girls-al excited and hyper and giggling, as kids were meant to be, in a school where they could be themselves without being caled names or fearing they'd get pounded. And as Jason signed autographs and looked into their smiling faces, he imagined a future world in which boys and girls like him would no longer be afraid of-and miss out on-getting to know such kids.

Then somehow Nelson managed to squeeze through the crowd and stood beside him, eyebrows arched, and asked, "Best friends, huh? When did that-?" Before he could finish, Jason wrapped his arms around him, whispering in his ear, "Thanks, buddy." chapter 36 At the luncheon folowing the speech, Nelson sat beside Manny, who kept asking the boys, "Is there anything you guys need?" So when Manny puled out his Chap Stick, Nelson naturaly asked, "Can I borrow it?"

He'd never before felt so immediately close and comfortable with any guy in his life-not even Kyle. And it both thriled him and scared the crap out of him.

When they were leaving the school, Nelson squeezed Kyle's arm and whispered in his ear, "Explain to me again: Why's he acting like he likes me so much?"

"Because you're very likeable." Kyle patted Nelson's shoulder. "Just let that in." Driving back to the hotel, they made their plans for the afternoon. After changing clothes and stuffing al their dirty laundry in bags, they drove to Venice Beach.

"Wow, there it is!" Jason exclaimed as he headed off with Kyle to enjoy the ocean.

Meanwhile, Nelson went with Manny to his uncle's salvage yard to have the windshield repaired.

"I can't believe you drove it that way." Manny examined the splintering crack.

"I can't believe it held," Nelson said. "But it did."

They charged the repair with the credit card from Kyle's dad. When Manny's uncle told them the car was ready, he also handed Nelson a bilfold. "I found this wedged inside when I moved the front seat."

"No way!" Nelson screamed. It was Kyle's walet, with the two hundred dolars and his license. He'd be legal to drive again.

"This is so amazing," Nelson kept repeating as they drove to do laundry at Manny's apartment. They were unloading the dirty clothes bags from the car when Manny's housemate came out to help them.

"Hey, you must be Nelson." He extended his hand. "My name's Ernesto. Manny told me about you this morning." Nelson shook hands, grinning. "Whatever he said, I deny it."

"Yeah," Ernesto said. "He told me you were pretty funny."

They talked and joked for a few minutes before Ernesto said good-bye and headed off to work.

"We've been best friends since grade school," Manny said as he led Nelson into the living room and dropped the laundry bags. "Ernesto's seen me through al my dating, my drama, my different-colored hair ..."

"Just like me and Kyle," Nelson observed, plopping onto the orange futon.

"Except he's straight," Manny said, sitting beside Nelson.

"Your best friend's straight?"

"Is that okay?" Manny asked.

"Yeah, of course! I wish I had more straight guy friends. But they usualy get way too nervous around me." Manny's cel phone rang and he told Nelson, "Hang on a minute.... Helo?" he answered and laughed into the phone, grinning at Nelson.

While Manny talked on the cel, Nelson looked around the apartment. On one wal hung a huge abstract painting that he realy liked, with broad swaths of bright colors. Manny had told him he liked to paint.

"Is that one of yours?" Nelson whispered, pointing, and Manny nodded back.

Nelson liked the whole apartment. The white wals gave it a clean look, the wood floors gave it warmth, the bright colors made it interesting, and a vase of flowers gave it life. It was exactly the type of place Nelson would like to live in when he finaly moved out from his mom's.

Just then an outrageous thought popped into Nelson's head. But immediately he tossed it out for being too crazy.

"That was Ernesto." Manny gave a huge grin as he folded up his cel. "He said he approves."

"Of what?" Nelson asked, suspecting the answer, but wanting to be sure.

Manny leaned forward to kiss Nelson and whispered, "Of you."

They'd kissed the night before, but even so, as Manny's tender lips landed on his, Nelson felt like it was the first time. He kissed Manny back, his tongue gently roling against Manny's and breathing in his sweet smel, like oranges and ocean and sunshine al mixed together.

As they kissed, Nelson wasn't certain what would happen next, but he knew what he'd like to happen. And when Manny slid his warm hands beneath Nelson's Tshirt, tugging it off, Nelson helped him along, though he regretted having to stop kissing even for an instant.

And then Manny was bending over Nelson, his hair like a big pink carnation as he dropped flower-petal kisses across Nelson's chest. And as Nelson moaned softly, he couldn't help wishing it was night, so Manny wouldn't see how unbuff he was.

But then Manny's face drifted up, his eyes intent with longing. "You have such a beautiful body." Not wanting to argue, Nelson tugged Manny's T-shirt off and gazed at the smooth tan chest, so dark compared to his own, and ran his fingers along the taut skin.

"You have such an awesome body," Nelson echoed.

Once again the boys began kissing, more ardently than before, as they pressed their naked chests together. And Nelson clung to Manny as though holding something priceless and long sought.

"Want to see my bedroom?" Manny whispered, and Nelson grinned. "I don't know. Let me think about that. Hmm. Okay!" Manny laughed and led him by the hand to the bedroom and another abstract painting-this one in silvers, blues, and greens that reminded Nelson of ships, and waves, and the sea. In the corner of the room Nelson spotted a basketbal. That surprised him, but he quickly forgot about it as Manny puled him onto the bed, unstrapping his sandals.

Then they were lying down, one moment side to side, the next on top of each other, their hands touching and groping, as if discovering places never before experienced, and al the while kissing, making Nelson glad he'd borrowed Manny's Chap Stick.

Then they were naked, gazing bashfuly at one another. And it felt to Nelson as though he were staring in the mirror and liking the reflection that peered back at him: smiling, warm, and accepting.

But the mirror clouded a moment as Nelson remembered that tomorrow they'd have to part. Then Manny reached his hand out. And their passion returned as a wave, puling them up to its crest, then flinging them against the shore. Ebbing and flowing, their ardor peaked and waned, as they kissed and touched, exploring nooks and crannies, tearing open condoms, entering one another, feeling closer than ever, and then lying quietly together, hearing only their heartbeats.

"I feel so happy." Nelson rested his head on Manny's bare chest. "And sad at the same time."

"Me too." Manny ran his fingertips across Nelson's back. "That's how I feel."

"This sucks so much," Nelson continued in a low voice.

"Totaly," Manny agreed, then added, "But it doesn't have to."

Nelson propped himself on one elbow. "What do you mean?" The crazy idea he'd had earlier came back to him. Was Manny thinking the same thing?

"I mean ..." Manny traced a finger down the center of Nelson's chest. "Why don't you stay longer-here, with me?" Manny had been thinking the same thing.

"But what about Ernesto?" Nelson cautiously asked.

"Um ..." Manny blushed. "That's why we kind-of-sort-of arranged for him to meet you. He and I talked about it this morning. He said it's okay so long as you help with rent and food."

"You mean it?" Nelson asked, a little blown away. A part of him felt like jumping up and down on the bed in excitement, while another part wanted to bolt out the door in panic. Was Manny nuts? "But you hardly know me."

Manny gave his head a thoughtful shake. "That's true, but ... I think you're a lot like me, and I know myself. It's like I know what you're thinking half the time before you even say it." A sly grin crossed his face. "Like right now, I bet a part of you wants to run out the door. Am I right?" Nelson felt his face grow warm. This was way too scary. Was he ready to risk getting involved with someone who knew what he was thinking?

"Look." Manny sat up to face Nelson. "I've met your friends. You and I made love. I think you can tel a lot about a person by their friends and how they make love. And I've never made love like that with anyone."

He took hold of Nelson's hand. "I like you a lot, Nelson. I want to get to know you more. If you think I'm nutsy and it won't work, I understand. I'l leave you with Kyle and Jason and say thanks. But if you'd like to stay a week or a month, however long you want, I'd realy like to spend that time with you." Nelson listened quietly, holding on tight to Manny's hand, his heart racing, as he fought the urge to bolt.

"Just think about it," Manny said soothingly. "Okay?"

Nelson swalowed hard and nodded.

After that, they peeled the sheets off the bed and added them to the other loads of al three boys' skanky clothes from the road trip. Then they showered together and once again ended up making love. After al the clothes were dry and folded, Nelson helped put the sheets back on the bed and asked about the basketbal in the corner. "Do you play?"

"Sometimes. I played intramurals in high school. That's how I first heard about Jason. I was surfing the Web and read about him coming out. Then when Ms.

Yamamoto told me they were looking for a last-minute speaker, I immediately thought of him." As Nelson listened, he thought how if it hadn't been for Jason coming out, he might never have met Manny. And he remembered what BJ had said about his destiny.

"How about you?" Manny asked eagerly. "Do you play?"

"Um ... not a lot," Nelson said evasively, a plan forming in his mind. "Holy crap! Look what time it is. Kyle's going to be so pissed!"

"No, he won't." Manny grinned as they carried the fresh laundry back to the car. "He told me when we dropped them off to take as long with you as I needed."

"He did?" Nelson asked, stuffing the laundry in the trunk.

And when they arrived back at Venice Beach, Manny was right: Kyle wasn't mad at al, waiting patiently with Jason at the cafe where they'd al agreed to meet.

As the four of them ate pizza and watched the sun sink behind the Pacific, Nelson said, "I like L.A." Then Manny guided them back to the hotel and said good night, agreeing to come back to say good-bye in the morning. But before he left he asked Nelson, "Are you going to think about what I said?"

"Like there's any chance I might not think about it?" Nelson replied, kissing him good-night.

"Okay, guys, we've got to talk," Nelson told Kyle and Jason before they'd even gotten into the hotel elevator. "I'm totaly faling for this guy. He asked me to stay out here-oh, crap! I forgot!" He puled Kyle's walet from his pocket. "Guess what his uncle found!" Kyle grabbed the walet in disbelief. "Where?"

Nelson stepped out of the elevator, Kyle and Jason folowing. "Between the seats."

"Now I really feel stupid," Kyle said.

"Since you have your license again," Nelson explained, "you and Jason could drive back without me, except ... I don't know if I want to stay out here. I mean, that would be crazy. Wouldn't it?"

"Not if you're in love with him," Kyle replied, opening the door to the hotel room. "Did you discuss HIV status, like you promised me?"

"Yes, Mother!" Nelson colapsed onto his bed. "He's negative."

As Kyle and Jason sat on the bed facing him, Nelson continued, "I need you guys to tel me something: When you two are together do either of you ever feel like bolting from the room?"

"No." "Yes." Kyle and Jason both answered at once, and Kyle turned to Jason, grinning. "Yeah, I know you do."

"How?" Jason asked.

"Because you bolted the first time I kissed you."

"Oh, yeah." The color rose in Jason's cheeks.

"And every time we get into an argument you ask if I want to break up. It's like you want to run away." Jason's brow rose up embarrassed-like and Nelson asked him, "So how do you deal with wanting to run away from someone you love?"

"Wel ..." Jason scratched his knee thoughtfuly, stil blushing. "By going to shoot baskets, I guess. That's sort of like running away, but not. And even if you run away, if you realy like someone, you come back." He gazed at Kyle with a sappy look that reminded Nelson of those two old farts in Texas.

"What should I do?" Nelson wailed.

Jason shook his head. "Only you can decide that, dude."

"I think you should stay with him," Kyle said.

"But you're always the practical one," Nelson retorted. "I'm supposed to be the impulsive one."

"I guess you've rubbed off on me." Kyle grinned. "In this case I think you should folow your heart." Nelson fel back on the bed and took a huge breath. "What would I tel my mom?"

"The truth," Kyle replied. "That you've falen in love and want to see where it goes. But you'd better cal her soon, because it's already one in the morning there."

"Crap!" Nelson sat up. He drew a deep breath, grabbed the phone, and dialed. While waiting he tugged at his shirt, damp with sweat.

His mom answered at the third ring. "Nelson?" How did she already know it was him? "Are you okay? What happened?"

"Nothing happened. I'm fine. I just need to talk to you about something."

"Nelson, you're scaring me. Tel me what happened."

"Chil, Mom. It's a good thing. I met a guy. His name's Manny."

Nelson proceeded to tel her how they'd met, about the school and Jason's speech, and about how Manny had guided them everywhere. His mom listened quietly, until she finaly said, "That's great, honey, but why are you caling me at one in the morning?"

"Because ..." Nelson inhaled deeply breath. "He's asked me to stay out here with him." A pause, then his mom asked curtly, "For how long?"

"Um ..." Nelson looked toward Kyle and Jason for strength.

"I don't know ... a week, a month ..."