As BJ spoke, Jason darted glances in the rearview, both curious and a little repulsed. Why would a guy dress up like a girl except as a joke? With the Faeries'

zany outfits at least it had seemed like they were half-kidding. This wasn't joking. Jason felt the urge to wipe off BJ's makeup and tel him to stop it. But at the same time, she looked so beautiful.

"I knew in my heart I was a girl." BJ's cigarette trembled in her hand. "I just couldn't understand why nobody believed me. The county found out papa was beating me and caled social services. They brought me to live with my grandmama and granddad. That was him at the gas station. They didn't know what to do with me either, but they pretty much let me stay home, grow my hair long, and help Granny around the house-until the county said I had to be in school. But when I showed up in a dress, the school sent me home saying I couldn't come to school like that because it caused too much disturbance. I don't know why it made the boys so crazy."

Jason glanced over at Kyle. Had he known BJ was a guy? Kyle glanced back at him and shrugged.

"Finaly grandmama tried to put me in a Christian school across the county, teling them I was a girl. She put them off from getting my school records. For a whole week everybody treated me like a girl. It was the happiest week of my entire life." BJ smiled at the green fields beyond the rain-spattered window.

"Then this horrible PE teacher said I had to change clothes like the other girls. Wel, I said I couldn't do that. And it made them figure things out. The principal nearly had a heart attack. He yanked me into his office and made me kneel beside him, reciting Bible verses and teling me to repent or I was going straight to hel." BJ flicked her cigarette butt out the window. "Wel, I knew I'd already been to hel and it couldn't get any worse. Besides, I'd never hurt anyone. They're the ones who'd beat me and caled me names, caling me gay. I'm not gay. I'm a girl." Jason felt sorry hearing the story, but the whole thing stil creeped him out. What made the guy want to be a girl in the first place?

"Anyway ..." BJ smoothed her skirt. "That was the last time I went to school. Now I'm working on my GED. I found a doctor in Jackson who let me start taking hormone pils. And one day I'l save enough money to get my SRS-that's Sexual Reassignment Surgery-and it'l be settled, once and for al." Jason glanced back at her. Was she serious?

"I'm sorry." BJ blushed. "I didn't mean to talk al y'al's ears off. I don't get a chance to unload like this very often."

"That's okay." Nelson patted her hand.

Everyone was quiet after that as Britney sang on the CD, "Oops, I did it again...." By the time they reached Lake Pontchartrain, north of New Orleans, dark gray thunderheads were pelting the car with rain as Kyle searched for a campground on their map.

"Y'al can't camp in this rain," BJ told them. "Come stay with me at my friends'. They've got plenty of room."

"Awesome!" Nelson exclaimed. "I'm so sick of camping."

"Sounds good to me," Kyle agreed.

But Jason stil felt weird about this Britney boy/girl. And what would his/her friends be like?

"No, thanks," he said. "It should stop raining soon."

"Oh, I wouldn't be so sure," BJ warned. "Storms down here can last for weeks!" Jason gazed at the sheets of rain blowing across the lake. Should he go along? His knuckles clenched the steering wheel as he nodded. "Okay." chapter 21 Nelson had met a couple of transgender teens before, at the queer youth group he sometimes attended. But they'd been superbutch girls who dressed as boys, with basebal caps and baggy jeans. He'd never met a male-to-female tranny, especialy one who loved Britney.

The house BJ directed them to looked right out of Gone with the Wind: tal white columns, green-shuttered windows, a gaslight over the front door.

"Toot the horn!" BJ told Jason, and her friends ran out with open umbrelas, greeting BJ and the boys with smiles and hugs.

Although BJ introduced her two friends as Clarissa and Charlotte, Nelson decided he'd better not jump to conclusions. Were they truly women? Clarissa had short hair and was heavyset, with breasts that could've belonged to either an overweight man or a woman. Charlotte was thin, with long blond-highlighted hair. Both wore blouses but also wore pants.

"These boys are driving to California," BJ explained. "Isn't that exciting? This butch one is Jason." She tapped his shoulder. "He and Kyle are a couple. And Nelson is on a quest for love."

Inside, the house had the highest ceilings Nelson had ever seen, with lazily turning fans and wals lined with slightly crooked paintings.

"Tonight you boys can sleep on the foldout couch," BJ told Kyle and Jason. She led Nelson into a side bedroom. "We girls can sleep in here." Nelson and the other femmy guys at youth group had often caled each other "girl" or "girlfriend," as if to champion their queenyness to the world. But unlike BJ, Nelson had never seriously desired to become a real girl.

On numerous occasions when he was little, he did get into his mom's makeup to smear lipstick across his mouth and smudge eye shadow on. Then he clomped around in her heels, draped in pearls. But beneath his mom's blue chiffon dress, Nelson knew he was a boy. And he had no wish to alter that. It was the illusion of being female (and freaking out his dad) that had thriled Nelson. He shuddered at the thought of ever slicing off his lifelong pubic friend. They had way too much romantic history.

While Jason, Kyle, and Nelson unloaded their stuff from the car, BJ's friends heated a pot of steaming seafood gumbo-a rich red stew of shrimp, crabs, crawdads, okra, and tomato broth, served with rice. When they started eating, Nelson relished every spoonful. "It's the best meal I've had since home."

"Enjoy! There's plenty." Clarissa smiled, and Charlotte asked, "Are you boys entering the Britney contest too?" At the suggestion Jason nearly choked on a crawdad. Kyle patted his back, but Nelson sparked to the idea. After al, hadn't he danced to Britney's videos nearly a milion times?

"Could I?" he asked BJ excitedly.

"Oh, that would be such fun!" BJ exclaimed. "I'd love to dress you up. We're about the same size." Much as Nelson loved the gumbo, he could barely sit stil for another spoonful.

"First let me run you a nice hot bath," BJ instructed as they hurried to the bedroom. She handed Nelson a fresh towel and glanced at his legs. "And you'l need a razor, maybe two."

Nelson gazed down. "I've never shaved them before."

"Wel, use plenty of shaving cream." BJ handed him the can. "And go real slow, so you don't cut yourself. Al the way up, and in back too. Use the mirror. You want everything silky smooth, even where you can't see."

A thril sparked through Nelson at the thought of his transformation. Could he realy pul off looking like a girl?

He didn't actualy have much leg hair yet, but he slid the razor up in careful straight lines and only nicked himself a couple of times. By the end of his bath, the tub was clogged with hair. He spread lotion over every inch of his smooth skin, admiring his hairless body in the bathroom mirror. Already he looked more feminine.

"Look what legs!" BJ whistled as Nelson stepped from the bathroom in the black satin shorty robe she'd given him. "Now let's do your face." She sat him at her vanity and began working on his eyebrows. "This may sting a little. Hold stil or my line wil go crooked." Nelson gritted his teeth. The tweezers hurt more than just a little.

"Good," BJ told him. "You can open your eyes now."

Nelson gazed in the mirror at his new, thin brow-line-a little red, but already making him look femme.

"You've got beautiful skin." BJ ran the back of her fingers across his cheek. "Now for a little foundation." She dusted the cream-colored powder across his face and puled open the colar of his robe. "A little on your chest too."

Nelson watched as his chin-line magicaly grew softer, more girlish. "How'd you learn al this?" he asked.

"Watching my mom when I was little." BJ brushed soft pink rouge across Nelson's cheeks, giving his face a radiant glow. "And Granny had been a beautician....

Now, the eyes are the trickiest part." BJ smiled enthusiasticaly, picking out a brown liner from her makeup case. "They can make or break al the magic." With a steady hand and a combination of liner and brush, BJ defined Nelson's upper and lower eyelash line, finaly smudging them with a Q-tip.

Nelson watched as his blue eyes grew delicate and ladylike. "Are you going to put on false lashes?" he asked excitedly.

"I don't think you need them, hon." She blew a puff of breath across his face. "You've already got gorgeous lashes-like a baby doe."

"Realy?" Nelson asked eagerly.

"Indeed!" BJ drew back, perching a hand on her hip. "Now surely I'm not the first one to tel you that."

"Yeah." Nelson shrugged. "Except for my mom."

BJ shook her head in disbelief and picked up a lip liner pencil. "Wel, don't you worry. By the end of this trip, you're going to find a man who'l see you for the beautiful person you are, both inside and out. I know that's your destiny."

"You realy think so?" Nelson gazed up into her chocolate-colored eyes, wondering if she realy could see his future.

"Without a doubt." BJ's voice rang with confidence. "Just like I always knew my destiny was to be a woman." She filed in his lips with a soft red, then folded a tissue in front of his mouth. "Now press your lips together."

He did as she told him, lifting his chin and holding his head high. The image in the mirror, with a boy's body and a girl's face, looked oddly strong and soft, vulnerable and confident.

"You're a caterpilar about to become a butterfly." She clapped her hands like a magician, reached into a drawer, and puled out a bra and two nylon bals that looked like stuffed pantyhose.

"Nature's little helpers," BJ explained, as Nelson took off the robe and put on the bra. "What I used before hormones-birdseed boobs." Nelson gave a nervous laugh as she filed the bra cups with the instant breasts. They looked so real. He couldn't help running his hands across the smooth nylon bra, turning sideways in the mirror, enchanted by his evolving female self.

"Now for the tuck," she announced, holding a pair of rosecolored panties. "You shaved your boy parts, I hope? Take off your briefs. Now, don't be shy. You don't have nothing I ain't seen before."

Nelson stepped out of his underwear, feeling oddly like he was standing in front of his mom.

"Okay, now pul everything back between your legs," BJ ordered, unroling a length of duct tape.

"Are you serious?" Nelson's voice quavered. "What if I have to pee?"

"You'd better go now," BJ said, matter-of-factly.

"But won't it hurt, to peel that off later?"

"That's why you shaved, hon."

"Do I have to?" Nelson hesitated. "Okay, let's just do it!" He shut his eyes, then opened them as BJ showed him how to strap himself down. It realy wasn't that bad, except when he moved ... or laughed ... or breathed.

For Nelson's Britney outfit, BJ suggested a tight black miniskirt, with a huge black belt, boots, and a slinky black crossover blouse, cut high above the midriff. But in spite of the mock boobs, his body didn't look quite as shapely as Britney's.

"I think I need a birdseed butt."

Last came the blond Britney wig.

"Close your eyes," BJ told him as she adjusted the wig on his head. She stood close and he breathed in her clean, perfumed smel.

"Okay, Miss Butterfly," she said softly, her breath tickling his ear. "Spread your wings and soar." Nelson opened his eyes. At first the girl in the mirror startled him. Then she mesmerized him. It was hard to believe she was him. He slowly raised a hand and the image folowed. He realy was her ... if he'd been born female.

He glanced at BJ's reflection as she came to stand beside him. And suddenly Nelson understood how displaced BJ must feel trapped in the wrong body, unable to peel off the male masquerade nature had mistakenly given her.

"Okay, now." BJ folded Nelson's long blond hair over his shoulders. "A few quick lessons on being a girl. First, don't stroke your hair away with your hand.

Instead, flick it with the back of your fingertips. Like this!" She showed him.

"Second, when you sit down ..." She moved to the chair. "Brush your skirt from behind to make sure it comes forward. I like to sit diagonal, crossing my legs at the ankle. Of course, never ever sit with your legs apart. Let's see you do it."

"Great! Next, for the walk. If you notice, guys walk from the legs. Girls walk from the hips. Stand up straight, look up and forward, smiling, relaxed, and confident.

Say to yourself : 'I'm a girl, getting the attention she deserves,'"

The walk took a little work, but with BJ's coaching, Nelson finaly got it.

"Ready to show the boys?" BJ asked.

Nelson swalowed, took a breath, and nodded. BJ turned the doorknob and Nelson stepped out.

The events that folowed that evening unfolded as though Nelson were watching himself move through a dream.

Jason stared at him, mouth agape, then gazed at him, with a gentle, sheepish smile such as Nelson had never before experienced from him. Meanwhile, Kyle laughed and kept repeating: "This is wicked freaky."

The Saint Charles streetcar whisked them like a carriage past stately oaks and balconies ribboned with Mardi Gras beads.

Once in the French Quarter, they jaunted by topless strip clubs and restaurants with petticoated Southern beles, past drunken colege frat boys, spiling their super-size cups of beer, and around street musicians dancing with trombones.

Their destination, the Rendezvous Bar, was Nelson's first gay club ever. The wals pulsed with music and the floor was thronged with men-white, black, old, young, bald, tal, paunchy, skinny, in jeans, leather, sports coats. And everywhere, there were beads.

Kyle puled Nelson by the hand, as they rose with a cloud of smoke upstairs, past a sign reading BATTLE OF THE BRITNEYS to a room packed with Britney blondes everywhere-black Britneys, old Britneys, Asian Britneys, plump Britneys.... The crowd cheered as onstage a wheelchair Britney crooned "Toxic." And then somehow Nelson was being passed arm by arm up to lights shining in his eyes. Voices cheered as he lip-synched "Boys" and danced the steps he'd watched a gazilion times on MTV, and he looked down to see Jason clapping for him.

Nelson felt like a star: beautiful, applauded. He wished he could stay on that stage forever. But he came down and Kyle hugged him. Strangers told him, "You're a fabulous Britney." And a muscled guy in a tight tank top marked STUD whispered, "I wish I was as brave as you." Then it was BJ on stage, lip-synching "Slave 4 U," except you could've sworn it realy was Britney singing. She won first prize, and Nelson thought, She's a girl, getting the attention she deserves.

Then they were walking down the street, trying to wave down a taxi, past a drunk yodeling to a lamppost.

"I'm cold!" BJ gave herself a hug and asked Kyle, "Can I borrow him a minute?"

She draped Jason's arm around her waist, teling him, "Someday I'm going to find myself a tal sweet muscley guy just like you, Jason." And Kyle smiled, though it looked a little forced.

Al the way home Nelson thought how much fun it had been to be a girl-at least for a little while.

Then he was sitting in front of the mirror, wiping his face with cold cream as he returned to being a boy.

"Yeow!" he screamed, as he tore off his tuck tape. "I've got to pee so bad! How do you do this al the time?"

"One day I won't have to," BJ said hopefuly, gazing down at her own freed masculinity.

And soon they were asleep, breathing softly, side by side.

chapter 22.

Arriving back at the New Orleans house, Kyle had quickly undressed and climbed into the foldout couch, exhausted and eager to sleep. But once beneath the sheets, he lay wide awake in the dark beside Jason, his mind replaying the day's wild ride of events: picking up a Britney wannabe at a backwoods gas station, finding out she was a he, seeing his best friend shape-shifted into a girl, going to his first gay bar ever, and watching as his boyfriend put his arm around BJ's waist.

Kyle had been able to deal with everything except that last item.

He now snaked his own arm across Jason's chest, trying to reassure himself that Jason's action with BJ hadn't realy meant anything. Kyle felt sily for his jealousy, except he knew Jason had been attracted to girls and had a special weakness for blondes. Didn't that make BJ the best of al worlds-boy, girl, and blonde?

"You stil awake?" Kyle whispered, unable to contain his thoughts any longer.

"Just thinking," Jason replied from the pilow beside him. "About everything that happened today."

"Me too." Kyle stroked his fingers along Jason's arm, working up his courage. "Can I ask you something? Do you, um ... are you attracted to BJ?" While he nervously waited for Jason's response, his fingertips brushed the soft hairs of Jason's arm. Would Jason be honest? What if he said he was attracted to BJ?

Jason yawned and the couch springs squeaked noisily beneath him. "She's cute. It's freaky how much she looks like Britney." Across the darkness Kyle eyed Jason guardedly. He hadn't exactly answered Kyle's question. "So are you attracted to her?" Jason remained silent, then turned onto his side to face Kyle, as the couch squeaked again. "You're nutty." Kyle propped his head up to explain. "Wel, I mean, you used to like girls, right? And she's both a boy and a girl."

"Yeah ..." Jason said, as if pondering. "But I think it would be too freaky, too confusing. This whole day was bizarre enough." The response helped reassure Kyle. He wrapped his arm tighter across Jason's chest, listening as Jason continued.