"I fixed her up real nice." There was a whine in Jane's voice now. The

smell of the gin was making her mouth water, but she was afraid to pour

a gla.s.s. "And I told her it was important to stay tidy. Didn't I tell

you to stay tidy, Emma? I'll wash her up." She grabbed Emma's arm hard

enough to make the girl jump.

"Let her be."

"I was only going to-"

"Let her be," Brian repeated, his voice flat and dull and threatening.

If he hadn't been staring at her still, Emma might have dashed under the

sink again. His child. For a moment he could only continue to stare at

her, his head light and his stomach fisted. "h.e.l.lo, Emma."

There was a sweetness in his tone now, one women fell in love with.

"What have you got there?"

"Charlie. My doggie." She held the stuffed toy out for Brian to

examine.

"And a very nice one." He had an urge to touch her, to brush his hand

over her skin, but held back. "Do you know who I am?"

"From the pictures." Too young to resist impulses, she reached out to

touch his face. "Pretty."

Johnno laughed and swallowed some gin. "Leave it to a female."

Ignoring him, Brian tugged on Emma's damp curls. "You're pretty, too."

He talked nonsense to her, watching her closely. His knees were like

jelly, and his stomach tightened and loosened like fingers snapping to a

beat. Her dimple deepened as she laughed. It was like watching

himself. It would have been easier to deny it, and a great deal more

convenient, but impossible. Whether he had meant to or not, he had made

her. But guidance didn't come along with acceptance.

He rose and turned to Pete. "Weld better get to rehearsal."

"You're leaving?" Jane dashed forward to block his path. "Just like

that? You only have to look at her to see."

"I know what I see." He felt a pang of guilt as Emma inched back toward

the cupboard. "I need time to think."

"No, no! You'll walk out like before. You're only thinking of

yourself, like always. What's best for Brian, what's best for Brian's

career. I won't be left back anymore." He had nearly reached the door

when she s.n.a.t.c.hed up Emma and raced after him. "If you go, I'll kill

myself!"

He paused long enough to look back. It was a familiar refrain. He

could have set it to music. "That stopped working a long time ago."

"And her." Desperate, she flung out the threat, then let it hang as they

both considered it. The arm she had banded around Emma's waist

tightened until the girl began to scream.

He felt a bubble of panic as the child's, his child's screams bounced

off the walls. "Let her go, Jane. You're hurting her."

"What do you care?" Jane was sobbing now, her voice rising higher and

higher to drown out her daughter's. "You're walking out."

"No I'm not. I need a little time to think this through."

"Time so your fancy manager can make up a story, you mean." She was

breathing fast, gripping the struggling Emma with both arms. "You're

going to do right by me, Brian."