Chapter 11

Sam drove around for hours, with no specific destination in mind. As midnight came and went he found himself sitting outside Kale's house. He killed the ignition and just sat there, feeling numb, trying to sort through the night's events.

He glanced at the house. The lights were dimmed and it was late. Maybe he should just go home. He reached for the keys when the front door opened.

"Are you coming in or are you going to sit there all night"

Kale asked.

Feeling chilled, Sam climbed from the Jeep and scrubbed his hand over his jaw. "Did I wake you"

"No, I was up with the baby, but now both my girls are asleep so keep it down."

Sam followed Kale inside and plunked himself down on

the sofa. The warmth of the house seeped into his skin.

Blue rays fanned out from the television, providing the only source of light in the room.

"Beer"

"Love one," Sam said.

Kale came back with two beers and handed one to Sam.

Sam took a long pull as Kale grabbed the remote, muted the television, and sank back into his chair.

Kale got right to the point. "What's up, Sam"

Sam shifted. "It's that obvious, is it"

"Oh yeah. You look like s.h.i.t."

How was that for blunt "You think"

Kale leaned forward. "Is it the reporter"

"You could say that."

Kale pushed himself back into his seat. "s.h.i.t, Sam. I told you not to play with fire. What happened"

Sam shook his head as a strange groan crawled out of his throat. He kept his voice low. "To be honest, I'm not sure.

First, there was a threatening note; then, a protestor was at my house trying to kidnap Rio. He said Hawk put him up to it to get a good story for a promotion. Then I saw an interview letter on Cat's table." He was rambling and probably made no sense, but he didn't care.

"So let me get this straight. You think Cat and Hawk hired a protestor to kidnap Rio so she could get a promotion"

Sam looked up from his beer. "Is that what I said"

"Pretty much."

"Cat wasn't in on it, though."

Kale scoffed. "Are you kidding me She's a reporter. Of course she was."

Sam's protective instincts kicked into high gear. "No, she wasn't." An equal measure of surprise and shock hit at the same time. It suddenly occurred to him that he was defending Cat and would continue to defend her with everything in him. "She's not like that, Kale. You don't know her the way I do. Don't say stuff like that about her."

He took a pause, considering everything over. Cat didn't have a manipulative bone in her body and he d.a.m.n well knew it. He'd struck out at her earlier because she was leaving.

The little boy lost cowering inside of him compelled him to hurt her the same way she'd hurt him. She might not have set Eugene up, but it didn't change the fact that she was leaving.

Him.

"Sam."

"Yeah"

"You're protecting her."

"So" Sam swallowed the rest of his beer and quietly set it on the coaster.

"And you're defending her," Kale added.

Sam arched his brow. "Your point"

Kale grinned. "You're only protective of the people you love."

Planting his elbows on his knees, Sam rested his forehead in his palms and groaned. "I know."

After a long pause, Kale said, "So if you love her, why are you here"

"Because she's leaving. Going to a job interview for her dream job in New York."

"I see."

Sam felt a flash of anger but kept his voice low, not wanting to wake Erin or the baby. He looked up and met Kale's glance. "No, you don't see."

"Then enlighten me."

"She wanted me to see the note. Wanted me to ask her to stay. Wanted to see if she was more than a lab rat to me."

"Then ask her."

Sam swallowed. "It's not so simple."

"Sure it is. You open your mouth and say, Cat, stay with me. Sometimes you have to fight for what you want, Sam.

Look at me and Erin. I wasn't going down without a fight, and look how happy we are now."

Sam glanced at Kale and then perused the warm, loving environment. His heart twisted with envy. He felt a little vulnerable, a little raw, and a whole lot lonely. "What if she eventually leaves"

Kale shrugged. "What if she doesn't Are you going to throw this away because of a 'what if' Because you're too chicken s.h.i.t to give it a shot"

Sam blew out a breath. "I guess that would be a dumb thing to do, wouldn't it"

Kale grinned. "Pretty dumb, Sam. Even for you," he teased.

Cat stirred and tossed on her bed as she slipped in and out of a restless slumber. Her thoughts were on Sam, even in sleep.

Wondering where he was and what he was doing. Every now and then she'd slip off the mattress and check the parking lot.

It was nearing two in the morning, yet he hadn't come back.

Cat's stomach clenched and her heart ached, wondering if he ever would. Wondering if she'd made a huge mistake by letting him go.

Just as she was about to check her window again, her doorbell chimed.

Hope rushed through her as the sound filled her condo.

She hurried down the hall and peeked through the peephole.

Her breath stalled. She pulled open the door and came face-to-face with a very disheveled-looking Sam.

"Hi," he said.

Cat smoothed her hair off her face. It occurred to her, with her hair in a mess and her makeup smeared, she looked exactly like she did a few days ago on the picket line.

Great!

"Hi." Cat's heart swelled as she took in his pained expression.

Sam drove his hands deep into his pockets. "Can I come in"

She nodded and gestured with her hands. G.o.d, she loved him so much it hurt.

After he walked through the doorway he turned to face her. His voice hitched as he swallowed. "This job, isn't it your dream"

She shook her head and took a step toward him. "I thought it was, but I was wrong."

Sam pulled his hands from his pockets and brushed his fingers over her cheeks. He pitched his voice low. "Are you sure, Cat, because you need to be sure."

"I am sure." She could tell he was afraid to completely surrender his heart to her only to have her up and leave him, the way so many others had.

"If you give up your dream right now, Cat, you'll still leave. It will just be later."

"I was chasing the wrong dream, Sam. I was chasing someone else's dream."

He got quiet, worry etching his features as his fingers tangled through her hair.

"Talk to me, Sam."

After a long, agonized minute he said in a whispered tone, "I'm worried that I don't have what it takes to keep you around."

Cat squeezed his arm, offering comfort and support. "I'm not like your mother or those other stand-ins your father brought home."

His brow puckered into a frown, conflicting emotions flickering in his eyes. "I want to be selfish and beg you to stay, I really do, but I want you to be happy."

She addressed his worries. "I learned something from you, Sam. I love my 'Cat on the Prowl' articles. I thought success came from writing hard-hitting news. I was wrong.

You taught me that. Success comes from within and being happy doing what you're doing. I didn't realize how important my columns were, how much people enjoyed them, how much I enjoyed them."

He stepped closer to her, into her personal s.p.a.ce. His hands dropped to her arms; his fingers idly stroking her flesh.

"I know you're afraid of emotional commitment, Sam.

I've let go of old ideas and beliefs that have kept me from seeing what was right in front of my eyes all this time. What kept me from being happy. Now it's your turn."

Something in his expression changed. His face softened; his body relaxed. He leaned into her and gently kissed the side of her neck. He lingered there, breathing in her scent.

Shivers of warm need left her shaking, unable to fill her lungs with air.

"Cat, sweetheart"

She let out a little gasp as he gathered her into his arms and held her. She became hyperaware of the heat in his body as it pressed against hers. Lord, it felt so good to be held by him. Goose b.u.mps pebbled her flesh.

"Yes" she whispered.

He inched back and looked deep into her eyes. There was so much emotion and love in his gaze as it bore into her and stole her very next breath. "You were never just an experiment to me," he murmured low in his throat. "Ever."