"Thank you for taking care of the People for me."
"What's next?" she asked, keeping her voice steady, diverting him from personal subjects.
He frowned slightly, a fleeting change of expression. "We go south as soon as we can. Beyond that, I can't see, except that something cataclysmic looms on the horizon."
"Cataclysmic?"
"Yes .. ." He clamped his lip with his front teeth. "Opposites crossed.
Balances equaling each other. Conjunction." "What are you talking about?"
He spread his hands, leaning back. "Words aren't meant for Dreams."
She nodded, having no idea what he meant. "Are you finished with the mushrooms?" He looked up at her, eyes haunted. "One more time. On the other side. At the conjunction. Then I'm through."
"And then what?"
He stared blankly. "What?"
"Can you ever ..." She stopped, squeezing her eyes closed. "Will you ever be a normal man again?"
He c.o.c.ked his head quizzically. "Normal?"In the long pause, she could see him searching his mind. "Will you ever be able to love again?" she asked bluntly, nerves strung as taut as a bowstring.
His smile grew slowly, making his face glow. "I love everyone, Dancing Fox. It's part of the Oneness, you see.
I--".
"Ah ..." A hollow ache built in her stomach.
He smiled, a kind expression on his young face. "You're asking more, aren't you? If I'll ever feel a special love--like I once felt." He shook his head slowly. "Those feelings are illusory. That's what killed Heron. She never really allowed herself to go all the way. That center of her soul wouldn't surrender. Wouldn't become nothing."
She waved a hand negligently. "It sounds like nonsense."
"Nonsense? That's a good expression. A place where sense isn't. No me or you. No black or white. The pulse of One-and None." He c.o.c.ked his head sublimely, eyes going over her face tenderly. "Do you understand?"
"I understand," she croaked. But she didn't.
"I love you more now than I did before," he said softly, reaching out to touch her arm gently. "Because I don't .. . don't want you now."
"Don't want--"
"I know your soul for what it is. Pure and beautiful, and the same as mine." He spread his arms wide, taking a deep soothing breath. "The same as everything's. Humans only want what is different from themselves. You and I, we're one."
Defeated and confused, she sighed and stood. "I take it you'll agree to anything I say about moving the camp? About establishing ch.o.r.es for people?"
He nodded. "No one could do it better than you."
She walked to the hanging, staring back. "It snowed a little last night.
The water that froze in the boiling paunches the other day never unthawed. I'm going to start the elders down to the hole. Will you lead them through?"
"I'll do anything you want me to."
A grim smile touched her lips, the ache intensifying to throb through her. "Hardly," she whispered, stepping through the flap. A dead weight lay heavy on her soul as she started across camp. * * *
The shelter stood dark, a musty smell wafting on the breeze filtering through the door flap. In the dim light of a dying fire, dozens of hostile, hurt faces shone sanguinely.
"I don't know what happened!" Walrus defended sullenly. Standing with hunched shoulders in the far corner, he slapped his pants hard. "I felt fine and then--""And then you fell asleep and let an Enemy steal the Hide!" Red Flint raged, pacing before the fire.
Ice Fire gritted his teeth and knotted futile fists at the door where it flapped in the wind. "Of all the .. He shook his head violently. "You were fine when I left. We talked about the hunting, about whether or not the Enemy would raid with their war leader dead and buried, and I asked if you'd be all right. "Sure," you said. "He's going to be no trouble."
And you laughed. So I went back to Red Flint's shelter and went to sleep."
Walrus's face fell, his defiance shattering like a skim of ice under a hammerstone. For a brief instant, Ice Fire's chest tightened, regret filling him. This doughty warrior deserved better than the pain he was forced to give him.
"Walrus wasn't the only one," Yellow Calf reminded, glaring at the four young men who sat in the back of the shelter with their faces downcast in shame. Yellow Calf's arm shot out. "The finest of our young men?
These .. . these .. He couldn't finish, he was shaking so hard. He turned his back to them. Ice Fire paced up and down the narrow aisle in the packed shelter. "What happened isn't important anymore."
"Not important?" Horse Tracker thundered. "The White Hide's been stolen by an Enemy! You tell me what is important!"
"Getting it back!" Ice Fire roared. He looked around in the sudden silence. He shouted so rarely, it stunned people now. Every man, woman, and child in the clan stared openmouthed at him. They waited, hearts and souls wrenched by the greatest tragedy to have ever befallen the Mammoth People. He cringed, feeling their pain touch his heart. But there was no other way to force them south.
Horse Tracker raised his hands, dropping his head. "We'll get it back."
"Of course we will!" Ice Fire slammed a fist into his palm, then turned pensively to Yellow Calf. "You represent Buffalo Clan. Horse Tracker speaks for the Round Hoof Clan and Ice Stalker speaks for Tiger Belly.
Does everyone agree that I shall speak for White Tusk?"
Heads nodded all around the shelter. "Very well, I say this. Send the fastest runners we have to Buffalo and Round Hoof Clans. Ask for their best warriors." He raised a hand. "I warn you, only the best, the bravest!"
Horse Tracker threw his shoulders back, saying tersely, "All our young men--"
"Will all your young men be willing to walk under the ice through the ghost hole in pursuit of the Enemy? Do they have the courage to fight and die under the ice. In the blackness?" Ice Fire c.o.c.ked his head, waiting.
"You haven't mentioned Tiger Belly in all this," Ice Stalker pointed out, his thin face grim.
Ice Fire nodded. "I don't think we can afford to have the Tiger Belly Clan weakened when the diseased peoples to your west would try and force you back." He gestured. "If it does turn out that the water is rising to cover the world, it will meet between your lands and the far Enemy's. Dowe want it to close behind them? Or in front?"
Ice Stalker considered that. "We'll hold the western borders of our land." He paused for a long eloquent moment, then stabbed out a finger.
"But you had better recover the White Hide!"
Ice Fire held his eyes until the leader looked nervously away. "I understand Tiger Belly Clan's concern. You've honored the White Hide for many years. But that does not mean the rest of us value it less."
"Just get it back," Ice Stalker rasped before striding angrily from the shelter.
"Yellow Calf? Horse Tracker?" Ice Fire turned his cool eye on them. "Are you willing?"
"Send the runners." Horse Tracker sighed. "I am responsible for my clan.
We'll go south--through the ice--and get our Sacred Hide back."
Yellow Calf nodded. "My clan is with you. And this Enemy will pay."
Chapter 59.
Snow clung to the air, stinging Raven Hunter's face as he trudged toward the mountains forming a high ivory wall. The sky glowed dully with waving curtains of gray clouds. Storm coming.
He staggered under the weight. Rolled in a long tube, the heavy Hide bowed his shoulders where it bent over his back. Step by agonizing step, he climbed up the rocky slope.
He'd avoided the easy trails, pulling his exhausted body over the roughest paths he could find. They'd never follow him here. Never! Wind Woman's violent breath caught him, almost toppling him over under his burden. Gasping, he grinned into the evening. Wisps of snow twisted out of the mottled sky. He turned in the last light, staring back over the flat, seeing the snow where it blew in streamers along his back trail "Made it! Made it this far." Puffing his exertion, he threw himself into the last ascent, legs trembling as he topped the ridge and froze. A woman waited, eyes on the trail to the west that he'd avoided.
"Dancing Fox," he gasped, chuckling. "Dancing Fox!"
She turned, catlike, darts ready to cast.
Hunching his back to redistribute the weight, he reeled forward.
"Raven Hunter?"
"It's .. . me," he wheezed, settling the heavy Hide as he dropped, panting, grinning up at her. In the back of his mind, Ice Fire's warning about the Hide sucking up his soul rang like a warning shriek, but he ignored it, unable to bear the weight any longer.
She stared at him, chin up, expression cold as the glacial snow blowing down from the cloud-black sky. Wind Woman whipped the thick flakes around, a sheet of snow obscuring the plain below.
He coughed, trying to catch his breath, and waved at the rolled Hide.
"There! Look, see! The very soul of the Mammoth People is mine!" She studied the thick roll of hide indifferently. "So."
He realized she remained wary, balanced, darts poised for thrusting.
He wiped the sweat from his clammy brow and blew a thick puff of breath into the falling night. "It's their totem, you see? I went down to die--to kill this Ice Fire of theirs. To show everyone that I was still the warrior of the People . despite Runs In Light's tricks. Only I stole their most sacred totem, the White Hide, the heart of their people. Now I'm taking it south, through the hole in the ice. With this Hide, I reclaim my place as leader of the People!" He shook his head, snorting condescension. "So much for my brother."
"You stole a mammoth hide from the Others?" She shook her head, watching him uncertainly.
"Their Sacred Hide," he corrected emphatically. "Don't you see? I've gutted them, just like that! They can't stand against us now. I've stolen their spirit, their will to resist. Now"--he grinned--"I've found you. The visions, you see, they're coming true. With this Hide, Idestroy Runs In Light. I vanquish the Mammoth People. I reclaim leadership, taking us all to the other side of the ice. Then you're mine. No one else will stand against me."
She shook her head. "Never." '
"Forever," he corrected, smiling victory. "I'll break Runs In Light.
Disgrace him."
"Why? You don't need to--"
"Yes, I do. It's part of the Dream. We have to fight and I have to win.
It came to me the night after I stole the Hide from Ice Fire. I saw it all clearly then. Yes"--he laughed softly--"clearly."
She crouched, darts ready, tangles of black hair fluttering before her as her thoughts jumped to Wolf Dreamer's words. "The cataclysmic..."
He laughed gleefully. "Remember those nights when we shared robes?
Remember?" He patted the shining White Hide. Thoughts of her warm body against his stirred his long-frustrated manhood. Chuckling again, he carefully unrolled the White Hide, the snowy hair gleaming in the faint light.
In a sultry voice, he called, "Come, Dancing Fox. I've missed you. It's been a long time since I parted your legs. Now the visions are coming true. Come lie with me. My body cries for yours, and I've never loved any woman as I love you. You and me, we're the destiny of the People.
Conceived on the White Hide, our child--"
"Will never exist," she hissed, backing up a step.
He ran his fingers through the long white hair of the Hide, stroking it lovingly. "Yes, it will. I've seen. Come. Let's hurry."
She turned and ran, jumping lithely down the rocks.
"No!" he shouted, a flush of anger spurring his weary body as he leapt after her. She was outdistancing him, running with a slight limp. On trembling legs, he followed, his lungs barely recovered from the difficult climb. For long moments, the gap remained the same until he slowly drew ahead.
Heart pounding, lungs burning, he closed, forcing every last bit of his energy into the chase. She whirled, hearing him close, darts ready.
He slid to a stop, staring at the desperation in her eyes.
"I'll kill you, Raven Hunter!"
Slowly, he spread his arms, gasping for breath. "You'll be mine in the end; the visions say so. You think you can elude me? I'm the best tracker of the People."
She shook damp hair from her eyes. "I've killed Others, Raven Hunter.
I'll kill you. You've seen me. I don't miss what I cast at. Stay back."
Breast heaving, he smiled. "Kill me. Come on. Do it!" he taunted. "Do it quickly, or I'll find you. Somewhere, you'll sleep. You can't outrun me.
You can't escape me. You'll slip and I'll have you and the future.You'll bear my child."
She backed away, a step at a time, jaw locked with determination.
"Follow, and I'll kill you."
"You don't understand. With the White Hide, no one can stand against me.
It's proof of my destiny."
"Oh?" She continued to back away. "And where's your Hide?"