"Oh, you have to!"

"Sharon, I don't think she can remember," Denise frustratedly said to Sharon.

"Oh, what is it?" Sharon put her face in her hands, irritated. Holly shrugged her shoulders at Denise again. "OK, I've got it!!" she announced happily, and began to sing loudly in the cafe. " "Sun, sea, s.e.x, sand, come on boy give me your hand!" "

Holly's eyes widened and her cheeks flushed with embarra.s.sment as people at the surrounding tables turned to stare. She turned to Denise for support in silencing Sharon.

" 'Ooh ooh ooh so s.e.xy, so s.e.xy!' " Denise joined in with Sharon. Some people stared in amus.e.m.e.nt but most in loathing while Denise and Sharon warbled their way through the tacky European dance song that had been a hit a few summers previously. Just as they were about to sing the chorus for the fourth time (neither of them could remember the verses), Holly silenced them.

"Girls, I can't sing that song! Besides, the verses are rapped by a guy!"

"Well, at least you wouldn't have to sing too much," chuckled Denise.

"No way! I am not rapping at a karaoke compet.i.tion!"

"Fair enough," nodded Sharon.

"OK, well, what CD are you listening to at the moment?" Denise got serious again.

"Westlife?" she looked at them hopefully.

"Then sing a Westlife song," Sharon encouraged. "That way, at least you'll know all the words."

Sharon and Denise began to laugh uncontrollably. "You might not get the tune right," Sharon forced out between hacking laughs.

"But at least you'll know the words!" Denise managed to finish for her before the two of them doubled over at the table.

First Holly was angry, but looking at the both of them crouched over, holding their stomachs in hysterics, she had to giggle. They were right, Holly was completely tone-deaf and hadn't a note in her head. Finding a song she could actually sing was going to prove impossible. Finally after the girls settled down again, Denise looked at her watch and moaned about having to get back to work. They left Bewley's (much to the other customers' delight). "The miserable sods will probably throw a party now," Sharon had mumbled, pa.s.sing their tables.

The three girls linked arms and walked down Grafton Street, heading toward the clothes store where Denise was manager. The day was sunny with just a light chill in the air; Grafton Street was busy as usual with people running around on their lunch breaks while shoppers slowly meandered up the street, taking full advantage of the lack of rain. At every stretch of the road there was a busker fighting for attention from the crowds, and Denise and Sharon embarra.s.singly did a quick Irish dance as they pa.s.sed a man playing the fiddle. He winked at them and they threw some money into his tweed cap on the ground.

"Right, you ladies of leisure, I better head back to work," Denise said, pushing the door to her shop open. As soon as her staff saw her they scarpered from gossiping at the counter and immediately began to fix the clothes rails. Holly and Sharon tried not to laugh. They said their good-byes and both headed up to Stephen's Green to collect their cars.

" 'Sun, sea, s.e.x, sand&rsquo, " Holly quietly sang to herself. "Oh s.h.i.t, Sharon! You've got that stupid song in my head now," she complained.

"You see, there you go with that 's.h.i.t Sharon' thing again. So negative, Holly." Sharon began humming the song.

"Oh, shut up!" Holly laughed, hitting her on the arm.

THIRTEEN.

IT WAS FOUR O'CLOCK BY the time Holly eventually got out of town and started heading home to Swords. Evil Sharon convinced Holly to go shopping after all, which resulted in her splashing out on a ridiculous top she was far too old to wear. She really needed to watch her spending from now on; her funds were running low, and without regular income she could sense tense times ahead. She needed to start thinking about getting a job, but she was finding it hard enough to get out of bed in the morning as it was, another depressing nine-to-five job wasn't going to help matters. But it would help pay the bills. Holly sighed loudly, all these things she had to handle all by herself. The thought of it was just depressing her, and her problem was that she spent too much time on her own thinking about it. She needed people around her, like today with Denise and Sharon, as they always succeeded in taking her mind off things. She phoned her mum and checked if it was all right for her to call around.

"Of course you can, love, you're always welcome here." Then she lowered her voice to a whisper, "Just as long as you know that Richard is here." Christ! What was with all the little visits all of a sudden?

Holly had contemplated heading straight home when she heard that but convinced herself she was being silly. He was her brother, and as annoying as he was, she couldn't go on avoiding him forever.

She arrived to an extremely loud and crowded house and it felt like old times again, hearing screams and shouts in every room. Her mum was setting an extra place at the table just as she walked in. "Oh, Mum, you should have told me you were having dinner," Holly said, giving her a hug and a kiss.

"Why, have you eaten already?"

"No, actually I'm starving, but I hope you didn't go to too much trouble."

"No trouble at all, dear, it just means that poor Declan will have to go without food for the day, that's all," she said, teasing her son who was taking his seat. He made a face at her.

The atmosphere was so much more relaxed this time around, or maybe it had just been Holly who was uptight during the last family dinner.

"So, Mr. Hard Worker, why aren't you in college today?" she said sarcastically.

"I've been in college all morning," he replied, making a face, "and I'm going back in at eight o'clock, actually."

"That's very late," said her father, pouring gravy all over his plate. He always ended up with more gravy than food on his plate.

"Yeah, but it was the only time I could get to book the editing suite."

"Is there only one editing suite, Declan?" piped up Richard.

"Yeah." Ever the conversationalist.

"And how many students are there?"

"It's only a small cla.s.s, there are just twelve of us."

"Don't they have the funds for any more?"

"For what, students?" Declan teased.

"No, for another editing suite."

"No, it's only a small college, Richard."

"I suppose the bigger universities would be better equipped for things like that, they're better all-round."

And there was the dig they were all waiting for.

"No, I wouldn't say that, the facilities are top of the range, there's just fewer people so therefore less equipment. And the lecturers aren't inferior to university lecturers, they're a bonus because they work in the industry as well as lecturing. In other words, they practice what they preach. It's not just textbook stuff."

Good for you, Declan, Holly thought, and winked across the table at him.

"I wouldn't imagine they get paid well doing that, so they probably have no choice but to lecture as well."

"Richard, working in film is a very good job; you're talking about people who have spent years in college studying for degrees and master's..."

"Oh, you get a degree for that, do you?" Richard was amazed. "I thought it was just a little course you were doing."

Declan stopped eating and looked at Holly in shock. Funny how Richard's ignorance still amazed everyone.

"Who do you think makes all those gardening programs you watch, Richard?" Holly interjected. "They're not just a crowd of people who are doing a little course."

The thought had clearly never crossed his mind that there was a skill involved.

"Great little programs they are," he agreed.

"What's your project on, Declan?" Frank asked.

Declan finished chewing his food before he spoke. "Oh, it's kind of too messy to go into, but basically it's on club life in Dublin."

"Ooh, will we be in it?" Ciara broke her unusual silence and asked excitedly.

"Yeah, I might just show the back of your head or something," he joked.

"Well, I can't wait to see it," Holly said encouragingly.

"Thanks." Declan put his knife and fork down and started laughing. "Hey, what's this I hear about you singing in a karaoke compet.i.tion next week?"

"What?" Ciara yelled, her eyes nearly popping out of her head.

Holly pretended not to know what he was talking about.

"Ah come on, Holly!" he persisted. "Danny told me!" He turned to the rest of the table and explained, "Danny is the owner of the place where I did the gig the other night and he told me Holly has entered a karaoke compet.i.tion in the club upstairs."

Everyone oohed and aahed and talked about how great it was. Holly refused to give in. "Declan, Daniel's just playing games with you. Sure everyone knows I can't sing! Now come on," she addressed the rest of the table. "Honestly, if I was singing in a karaoke compet.i.tion I think I would tell you all." She laughed as if the thought were so ridiculous. In fact, the thought was so ridiculous.

"Holly!" he laughed. "I saw your name on the list! Don't lie!"

Holly put her knife and fork down, she suddenly wasn't hungry anymore.

"Holly, why didn't you tell us you're going to sing in a compet.i.tion?" her mother asked.

"Because I can't sing!"

"Then why are you doing it?" Ciara burst out laughing.

She might as well tell them, she figured; otherwise Declan would beat it out of her and she didn't like lying to her parents. It's just a shame Richard would have to hear it too.

"OK, it's a really complicated story, but basically Gerry entered my name in months ago because he really wanted me to do it, and as much as I don't want to do it, I feel I have to go through with it. It's stupid, I know."

Ciara stopped laughing abruptly.

Holly felt paranoid with her family staring at her, and she nervously tucked her hair behind her ears.

"Well, I think that's a wonderful idea," her dad suddenly announced.

"Yes," added her mum, "and we'll all be there to support you."

"No, Mum, you really don't have to, it's no big deal."

"There's no way my sister is singing in a compet.i.tion without me being there," declared Ciara.

"Here, here," said Richard. "We'll all go so. I've never been to a karaoke before, it should be...," he searched his brain for the right word, "...fun."

Holly groaned and closed her eyes, wishing she had gone straight home from town. Declan was laughing hysterically. "Yes, Holly, it'll be...hmmm...," he said, scratching his chin, "...fun!"

"When is it on?" Richard said, taking out his diary.

"Eh...Sat.u.r.day," Holly lied, and Richard began writing it down.

"It is not!" Declan burst out. "It's next Tuesday, you liar!"

"s.h.i.t!" cursed Richard, much to everyone's surprise. "Has anyone got any Tipp-Ex?"

Holly could not stop going to the toilet. She was nervous and had gotten practically no sleep the night before. And she looked just the way she felt. There were huge bags under her bloodshot eyes, and her lips were bitten.

The big day had arrived, her worst nightmare, singing in public.

Holly wasn't the kind of person who even sang in the shower, for fear of cracking all the mirrors. But man, was she spending time in the toilet today. There was no better laxative than fear, and Holly felt like she had lost a stone in just one day. Her friends and family had been as supportive as ever, sending her good luck cards. Sharon and John had even sent her a bouquet of flowers, which she placed on the draft-free, heat-vent-free coffee table beside her half-dead orchid. Denise had 'hilariously' sent her a sympathy card.

Holly dressed in the outfit Gerry had told her to buy in April and cursed him all throughout. There were far more important things to worry about right now than irrelevant little details like how she looked. She left her hair down so it could cover her face as much as possible and piled on the waterproof mascara as though it could prevent her from crying. She could foresee the night ending in tears. She tended to have psychic powers when it came to facing the s.h.i.ttiest days of her life.

John and Sharon collected Holly in the taxi and she refused to talk to them, cursing everyone for forcing her to do this. She felt physically sick and couldn't sit still. Every time the taxi stopped at a red light she contemplated jumping out and running for dear life, but by the time she built up the courage the lights would go green again. Her hands fidgeted nervously and she kept opening and closing her bag, pretending to Sharon she was searching for something just to keep herself occupied.

"Relax, Holly," Sharon said soothingly, "everything will be fine."

"f.u.c.k off," she snapped.

They continued on in silence for the rest of the journey, even the taxi driver didn't speak. They finally reached Hogan's, and John and Sharon had a h.e.l.l of a time trying to stop her ranting (something about preferring to jump in the River Liffey) and persuading her to go inside. Much to Holly's horror, the club was absolutely jammed, and she had to squeeze by everyone to make her way to her family, who had saved a table (right beside the toilet as requested).

Richard was sitting awkwardly on a stool looking out of place in a suit. "So tell me about these rules, Father, what will Holly have to do?" Holly's dad explained the 'rules' of karaoke to Richard and her nerves began to build even more.

"Gosh, that's terrific, isn't it?" Richard said, staring around the club in awe. Holly didn't think he had ever been in a nightclub before.

The sight of the stage terrified Holly; it was much bigger than she had expected and there was a huge screen on the wall for the crowd to see the words of the songs. Jack was sitting with his arm draped around Abbey's shoulders; they both gave her a supportive smile. Holly scowled at them and looked away.

"Holly, the funniest thing just happened earlier on," Jack said, laughing. "Remember that guy Daniel we met last week?"

Holly just stared at him, watching his lips moving but not giving a d.a.m.n about what he said. "Well, me and Abbey got here first to keep the table and we were having a kiss and your man came over and whispered in my ear that you were gonna be here tonight. He thought we were going out and that I was doing the dirt!" Jack and Abbey laughed hysterically.

"Well, I think that's disgusting," Holly said and turned away.

"No," Jack tried to explain, "he didn't know that we were brother and sister. I had to explain..." Jack trailed off as Sharon shot him a warning look and silenced him.

"Hi, Holly," Daniel said, approaching her with a clipboard in his hand, "OK, the order of tonight is the following: First up is a girl called Margaret, then a guy called Keith and then you're up after him. Is that OK?"