"I wonder if she's mad at us for going a bit funny out there today."

Sharon shrugged again and they continued to eat in silence. Holly had reacted unusually out there in the water, and it bothered her to think about why she had. After the initial panic of thinking she was going to die, Holly became feverishly giddy as she realized that if she did die she knew she would be with Gerry. It bothered her to think that she didn't care whether she lived or died. Those were selfish thoughts. She needed to change her perspective on life.

Denise winced as she sat down.

"Denise, what is wrong with you?" Holly asked.

"I'm not telling either of you or you'll laugh," she said childishly.

"Oh come on, we're your friends, we won't laugh," Holly said, trying to keep the smile off her face.

"I said no." She filled her gla.s.s with more water.

"Ah come on, Denise, you know you can tell us anything. We promise not to laugh." Sharon said it so seriously that Holly felt bad for smiling.

Denise studied both their faces, trying to decide whether they could be trusted.

"Oh, OK," she sighed loudly and mumbled something very quietly.

"What?" Holly said, moving in closer.

"Honey, we didn't hear you, you were too quiet," Sharon said, pulling her chair in closer.

Denise looked around the restaurant to make sure n.o.body was listening and she moved her head into the center of the table. "I said, from lying out in the sea for so long, my b.u.m is sunburnt."

"Oh," Sharon said, sitting back in her chair abruptly.

Holly looked away to avoid eye contact with Sharon, and she counted the bread rolls in the basket to take her mind off what Denise had just said.

There was a long silence.

"See, I said you would both laugh," Denise huffed.

"Hey, we're not laughing," Sharon said shakily.

There was another silence.

Holly couldn't help herself. "Just make sure you put plenty of sun cream on it so that it doesn't peel." The two of them finally broke down.

Denise just nodded her head and waited for them to stop laughing. She had to wait a long time. In fact, hours later as she lay on the sofa bed trying to sleep she still waited.

The last thing she heard before she went to sleep was a smart remark from Holly: "Make sure you lie on your front, Denise." This was followed by more laughter.

"Hey, Holly," Sharon whispered after they had finally calmed down. "Are you excited about tomorrow?"

"What do you mean?" Holly asked, yawning.

"The letter!" Sharon replied, surprised that Holly didn't remember immediately. "Don't tell me that you forgot."

Holly reached her hand under her pillow and felt around for the letter. In one hour she would be able to open Gerry's sixth letter. Of course she hadn't forgotten.

The next morning Holly awoke to the sound of Sharon throwing up in the toilet. She followed her in and gently rubbed her back and held her hair back.

"You OK?" she asked worriedly after Sharon had eventually stopped.

"Yeah, it's just those b.l.o.o.d.y dreams I had all night. I dreamt I was on a boat and on a raft and all sorts of things. I think it was just seasickness."

"I had those dreams too. It was scary yesterday, wasn't it?"

Sharon nodded. "I'm never going on a raft again," she smiled weakly.

Denise arrived at the bathroom door already dressed in her bikini. She had borrowed one of Sharon's sarongs to cover up her burned behind and Holly had to bite her tongue to stop herself from teasing her, as she was clearly in a great deal of pain.

When they arrived down at the swimming pool, Denise and Sharon joined the Barbie Brigade. Well, it was the least they could do, seeing as they were the ones who had called for help. Holly couldn't believe that she had fallen asleep before midnight the previous night. She had planned to get up quietly without waking the girls, sneak out to the balcony and read the letter. How she fell asleep in all her excitement was beyond her, but she couldn't listen to the Barbie Brigade any longer. Before Holly was dragged into any conversation she signaled to Sharon that she was leaving, and Sharon gave her an encouraging wink, knowing why she was disappearing. Holly wrapped her sarong around her hips and carried her small beach bag containing the all-important letter.

She positioned herself away from all the excited shouts of children and adults playing and stereo blaring out the latest chart songs. She found a quiet corner and made herself comfortable on her beach towel to avoid more contact with the burning sand. The waves crashed and fell. The seagulls called out to one another in the clear blue sky, flew down, dipped themselves into the cool, crystal water to catch their breakfasts. It was morning and already the sun was hot.

Holly carefully pulled the letter out of her bag as though it were the most delicate thing in the world, and she ran her fingers along the neatly written word, "August." Taking in all the sounds and smells of the world around her she gently tore open the seal and read Gerry's sixth message.

Hi Holly I hope you're having a wonderful holiday. You're looking beautiful in that bikini, by the way! I hope I picked the right place for you, it's the place you and I almost went for our honeymoon, remember? Well, I'm glad you got to see it in the end...

Apparently, if you stand at the very end of the beach near the rocks across from your hotel, and look around the corner to the left, you'll see a lighthouse. I'm told that's where the dolphins gather...not many people know that. I know you love dolphins...tell them I said hi...

PS, I love you, Holly...

With shaking hands, Holly put the card back into the envelope and secured it safely in a pocket of her bag. She felt Gerry's eyes on her as she stood up and quickly rolled up the beach towel. She felt he was here with her. She quickly ran to the end of the beach, which suddenly stopped because of a cliff. She put her trainers on and began to climb the rocks so she could see around the corner.

And there it was.

Exactly where Gerry had described it, the lighthouse sat high on the cliff, bright white as though it were some sort of torch to heaven. Holly carefully climbed over the rocks and made her way around the little cove. She was on her own now. It was completely private. And then she heard the noises. The squeaks of dolphins playing near the sh.o.r.e away from the view of all the tourists on the beaches beside it. Holly collapsed on the sand to watch them play and listen to them talk to one another.

Gerry sat beside her.

He may even have held her hand.

Holly felt happy enough to head back to Dublin, relaxed, destressed and brown. Just what the doctor ordered. That didn't stop her from groaning when the plane landed in Dublin Airport to heavy rain. This time the pa.s.sengers didn't applaud and cheer and the airport seemed like a very different place from the one she had left last week. Once again, Holly was the last person to receive her luggage, and an hour later they trudged gloomily out to John, who was waiting in the car.

"Well, it looks like the leprechaun didn't do any more work in your garden while you were away," Denise said, looking at the garden as John reached Holly's home.

Holly gave her a friends a big hug and a kiss and made her way into her quiet, empty house. There was a horrible musty smell inside and she moved to the kitchen patio doors to let the fresh air circulate.

She froze just as she was turning the key in the door and stared outside.

Her entire back garden had been relandscaped.

The gra.s.s was cut. The weeds were gone. The garden furniture had been polished and varnished. A fresh coat of paint gleamed from her garden walls. New flowers had been planted and in the corner, underneath the shade of the great oak tree, sat a wooden bench. Holly looked around in shock; who on earth was doing all this?

TWENTY-NINE.

IN THE DAYS FOLLOWING HER return from Lanzarote, Holly kept a low profile. Holly, Denise and Sharon were all keen to spend the next few days apart from one another. It wasn't something they had talked about, but after living in each other's ears every day for a whole week, Holly was sure they all agreed it would be healthy to spend some time apart. Ciara was impossible to get hold of, as she was either working hard at Daniel's club or spending time with Mathew. Jack was spending his last few precious weeks of summer freedom down in Cork at Abbey's parents' house before he had to go back to school, and Declan was...well, who knew where Declan was.

Now she was back, she wasn't exactly bored with her life, but she wasn't exactly overjoyed either. It just seemed so...nothing and so pointless. She'd had the holiday to look forward to, but now felt she had no real reason to get out of bed in the morning. And as she was taking a time-out from her friends, she really had n.o.body else to talk to. There was only so much conversation she could have with her parents. Compared to last week's sweltering heat in Lanzarote, Dublin was wet and ugly, which meant she couldn't even work at maintaining her beautiful tan or appreciate her new back garden.

Some days she never even got out of bed, she just watched television and waited...waited for next month's envelope from Gerry, wondering what journey he would take her on next. She knew her friends would disapprove after she'd been so positive on holiday, but when he was alive she'd lived for him, and now that he was gone she lived for his messages. Everything was about him. She had truly believed that her purpose in life had been to meet Gerry and enjoy all their days together for the rest of their lives. What was her purpose now? Surely she had one, or perhaps there had been an error in the administration up above.

Something that she did feel she should do was to catch the leprechaun. After further interrogation of her neighbors she still knew nothing more of her mystery gardener, and she was beginning to think the whole thing had just been an awful mistake. Eventually she had herself convinced that a gardener had made a mistake and that he was working on the wrong garden, so she checked the post every day for a bill that she was going to refuse to pay. But no bill arrived, of that variety anyway. Plenty of others arrived and she was running out of money fast. She had loans up to her eyeb.a.l.l.s, electricity bills, phone bills, insurance bills, everything that came through her door was a b.l.o.o.d.y bill, and she hadn't a clue how she was going to continue paying them all. But she didn't even care; she had become numb to all those irrelevant problems in life. She just dreamed the impossible dreams.

One day Holly realized why the leprechaun hadn't returned. Her garden was only tidied when she wasn't home. So she got out of bed early one morning and drove her car around the corner from her house. She walked back home and settled down on her bed and waited for her mystery gardener to appear.

After three days of Holly repeating this behavior, the rain finally stopped and the sun began to shine again. Holly was about to give up hope of ever solving her mystery when she heard someone approach her garden. She jumped out of bed in a panic, unprepared for what she should do, even though she had spent days planning. She peeped over her windowsill and spotted a young boy who looked about twelve years old walking down her drive tugging a lawnmower along behind him. She threw on Gerry's oversized dressing gown and raced down the stairs not caring what she looked like.

She pulled open the front door, causing the young boy to jump. His arm froze in midair and his finger hovered just over the doorbell. His mouth dropped open at the sight of the woman in front of him.

"A-ha!" Holly yelled happily. "I think I caught my little leprechaun!"

His mouth opened and closed like a goldfish's; he was clearly unsure of what to say. Eventually he scrunched up his face as though he were about to cry and screamed, "Da!"

Holly looked up and down the road in search of his father and decided to squeeze as much information out of the boy as she could before the adult reached them.

"So you're the one who's been working on my garden." She folded her arms across her chest.

He shook his head wildly and gulped.

"You don't have to deny it," she said gently, "you've been caught now." She nodded over at the lawnmower.

He turned around to stare at it and yelled again, "Da!" His dad slammed the door of a van and made his way over to her house.

"What's wrong, son?" He wrapped his arm around the boy's shoulders and looked at Holly for an explanation.

Holly wasn't going to fall for this little charade. "I was just asking your son here about your little scam."

"What scam?" He looked angry.

"The one where you work on my garden without my permission and then you expect me to pay for it. I've heard about this kind of thing before." She put her hands on her hips and tried to look like she couldn't be messed with.

The man looked confused. "Sorry, I don't know what you're talking about, missus. We've never worked on your garden before." He stared around at the state of her front garden, thinking the woman was insane.

"Not this garden, you landscaped my back garden." She smiled and raised her eyebrows, thinking she had caught him.

He laughed back at her. "Landscaped your garden? Lady, are you mad? We cut gra.s.s, that's all. See this? This is a lawnmower, nothing else. All it does is cut the b.l.o.o.d.y gra.s.s."

Holly dropped her hands from her hips and slowly placed them in the pockets of her gown. Maybe they were telling the truth. "Are you sure you haven't been in my garden?" she squinted her eyes.

"Lady, I have never even worked on this street before, never mind your garden, and I can guarantee I won't be working in your garden in the future."

Holly's face fell. "But I thought -"

"I don't care what you thought," he interrupted. "In future, you try to get your facts straight before you start terrorizing my kid."

Holly looked at the young boy and saw his eyes fill with tears. Her hands flew to her mouth with embarra.s.sment. "Gosh, I'm so sorry," she apologized. "Just hold on there a minute."

She rushed into the house to get her purse and squeezed her last fiver into the boy's chubby little hand. His face lit up.

"OK, let's go," his dad said, turning his son around by the shoulders and leading him down the drive.

"Da, I don't wanna do this job anymore," the boy moaned to his dad as they carried on to the next house.

"Ah, don't worry, son, they all won't be as mad as her."

Holly closed the door and studied her reflection in the mirror. He was right; she had turned into a madwoman. Now all she needed was a house full of cats. The sound of the phone ringing pulled Holly's eyes away from her image.

"h.e.l.lo?" Holly said, answering the phone.

"Hiya, how are you?" Denise asked happily.

"Oh, full of the joys of life," Holly said sarcastically.

"Oh, me too!" she giggled in response.

"Really? What's got you so happy?"

"Oh nothing much, just life in general," she giggled again.

Of course, just life. Wonderful, wonderful, beautiful life. What a silly question.

"So what's happening?"

"I'm calling to invite you out for dinner tomorrow night. I know it's short notice, so if you're too busy...cancel whatever it is you have planned!"

"Hold on and let me check my diary," Holly said sarcastically.

"No problem," Denise said seriously and was silent while she waited.

Holly rolled her eyes. "Oh look at that, whaddaya know? I appear to be free tomorrow night."

"Oh goody!" Denise said happily. "We're all meeting at Chang's at eight."

"Who's we?"

"Sharon and John are going and some of Tom's friends too. We haven't been out together for ages, so it'll be fun!"

"OK then, see you tomorrow." Holly hung up feeling angry. Had it completely slipped Denise's mind that Holly was still a grieving widow and that life just wasn't fun for her anymore? She stormed upstairs and opened her wardrobe. Now what piece of old and disgusting clothing would she wear tomorrow night, and how on earth was she going to afford an expensive meal? She could barely even afford to keep her car on the road. She grabbed all her clothes from her wardrobe and flung them across the room, screaming her head off until she finally felt sane again. Perhaps tomorrow she would buy those cats.