I rolled them. "Everyone says that. It's such a cop out."

"I mean it," Parker insisted, now tracing my tattoo. "Not just because they're pretty, even though they are." Pretty. Now that was a word no one had ever used to describe me. "I saw such pain behind them. Such misery. I knew you had a story, and I wanted to hear it. From the moment I met you, I..." She trailed off, and when I looked down at her, she blushed. "I wanted to save you."

A slow grin spread over my face. On one level, that was absurd. I was a big boy who'd seen more violence than Parker could ever dream of. I'd been through h.e.l.l and back all on my own. Sure, maybe a few years ago I'd needed saving, but I wasn't that f.u.c.ked up kid anymore.

But on the other hand, it was sort of... romantic. Maybe Parker wasn't going to physically come to my rescue, but she had saved my soul. I'd been broken before she found me, and as much as my male ego hated to admit it, she was the one who'd started putting all those pieces back together.

"Let's make a deal," I said, drawing her against me under the water. G.o.d, she looked hot wet. "From here on out, we'll always be there to save each other. Agreed?"

Parker smirked. "Agreed. As long as you're also willing to forget the past. It's time to move forward, Kellan. We can't let fear, or guilt, hold us back. Is that something you can commit to?"

That was one h.e.l.l of a question. I knew, if I was being honest with myself, that I took things hard. I shouldered burdens that were never mine to bear. I carried the weight of the world, even when no one had asked me to. I let s.h.i.t get to me, let it work way too deep under my skin. I also knew that was a pattern I had to break, but old habits, and all that.

Parker was worth it, though. She was worth all the fight and struggle in the world. As long as we were struggling through this together, it would be worth every ounce of effort.

"Anything for you, baby," I told her, smoothing her soaked tresses back so I could look into her eyes. "From now on, we don't look back. Only forward."

The longer the idea settled with me, the more I liked it. Maybe because I knew with Parker in my life, I had a h.e.l.l of a lot to look forward to.

~ Eighteen ~

Parker

"Thom, stop poking at it. You'll only make it worse."

Thom made a face at me from his hospital bed, an expression somewhere between a glower and a scowl. He was holding up a hand mirror and inspecting his staples for the umpteenth time since I'd arrived at the hospital, fiddling with them as he lamented the loss of his beautiful hair.

"You're like Samson," I muttered, watching him as he ignored me. "You know that, right?"

"Let's just hope I haven't lost all my reporter powers," he said, finally setting the mirror down on his food tray. "You know, web-slinging, scaling tall buildings, disguising myself with nothing but a pair of gla.s.ses-that sort of thing."

"I think you're mixing up your comic book heroes," I replied, unable to suppress my smile. After Thom had taken such a terrible blow to his head, I'd worried about brain damage, but he seemed just fine on that front, at least. He was still sharp as ever, if a little depressed. Andy, his fiance, had a.s.sured him time and time again that he was still just as s.e.xy as ever, but Thom disagreed. Without my hair, he'd grumped, I'm nothing.

Of course, that was before the worst of the morphine wore off, so maybe he'd seen the light now.

"Kellan says hi," I said, checking my phone at the same time. It was past six o'clock, and Kellan's fight would be starting in just a couple hours. I didn't want to be late, but I also knew Thom needed company. He was the epitome of a social b.u.t.terfly, and I was pretty sure he'd go insane without someone to talk to, and Andy had to work. "He also says 'sorry.' He feels like this was his fault."

"He's an idiot," Thom said. "And I mean that in the nicest possible way. You can tell him I said so-it's not his fault at all. It's his manager's. Victor Dallas has got all those guys brainwashed. They're completely under his thrall."

I blew out a sigh, thinking of how just a few days ago, Kellan had been just as defensive of Vic as the goons who'd beat up Thom were. Kellan was a smart guy, but even he'd been taken in. I guessed when you were at rock bottom, the simplest display of kindness could end up meaning the world.

At least you know he's loyal.

"Well, Kellan's out of it, now," I told Thom. "Or at least, he will be after this one last fight."

"He's fighting tonight?" Thom asked. I nodded. "Then what the h.e.l.l are you doing here with me? Shouldn't you be there supporting him?"

I smiled. "I will be, though having your blessing means a lot. I've still got some time until I have to go. I figured I'd get you up to speed on everything that's been going on."

"I can't wait to put this guy's a.s.s in a sling," Thom groaned, leaning back against his pillow. "If he thinks getting my head split open is going to make me turn tail, he's a moron. And by the time I'm done with him, I'm hoping he's a moron in jail."

"As soon as you're feeling better, you and I will go in for the kill," I a.s.sured him with another smile. "And I'm sure Kellan will help however he can, too, providing he doesn't beat Vic to death as soon as he hands Kellan his money."

I'd meant it as a joke, but soon realized that scenario was a distinct possibility. Vic had betrayed Kellan on every possible level, and Kellan had a temper. What was to keep him from bashing Vic's brains out once he had his winnings in his hand?

I bit my lip. I hoped that wasn't the case. Kellan could walk out of this free and clear, if he could just keep his anger in check. He could start fresh. We could really build something together. But not if he was in jail for a.s.sault.

I sent him a quick text as Thom fussed with his in-room TV. Keep your head in the game. No revenge plots! <3 kellan="" texted="" me="" back="" just="" a="" few="" moments="" later.="" aww.="" :(="" ur="" no="">

Satisfied, I shook my head and turned my attention back to Thom. "Is there anything you need from me, Thom? Anything at all?" The truth was that I, too, felt a little responsible for his predicament. I had, after all, pulled him into all of this for the sake of a story. More and more, I was realizing there were way more important things in life than making the front page. Thom's wellbeing was one of those things, and our friendship was another.

"Stop making puppy dog eyes at me," Thom replied, finally settling on some primetime drama. "You're as blameless in all this as your boyfriend is. Which reminds me: how did you two finally make up?"

I blushed. "He came over after he found out what happened to you. Said we were right and he was sorry about everything. And then... well, then we made up in the usual way."

"So glad my cracked skull is bringing people together," Thom said, but smiled nonetheless. "I really am happy for you, Parker. And I think if we play our cards right, in the end, we're all going to get what we want."

"I just wish I could've gotten the senator," I sighed. "Even though the worst will soon be behind us, Kellan's going to have a long way to go. It would make things easier if he had a safety net he could rely on. Something like that veterans' bill."

"You did your best, didn't you?" Thom asked. I nodded, and he shrugged. "Then you've done all you can. And I think Kellan will understand that, no matter how hard-headed he is about everything else."

"I think you're right," I agreed, standing up. "If you're all set, though, I'm going to head out. Is Andy coming by later?"

"Yes, and he's sneaking me in some sushi, so don't tell anyone." I made a face and Thom laughed. "Don't worry, it's not from that new place. I wouldn't want to go the way of Melanie Cartwright, on top of everything else."

"From your lips to G.o.d's ears," I said, stepping around the side of his bed to kiss his cheek. I caught him on the temple, and he grunted a little. "Please get some rest, Thom. The story will be here when you get back. You don't have to worry about me cutting you out."

"I know you'd never dream of it," Thom said, then reached over and clasped my hand. "And thank you for that. It's not often you find integrity in our world."

"You're welcome," I said, squeezing his fingers softly. "I'll see you later, Thom."

"Call me when it's all over," he replied, and I nodded on my way out.

I was just about to take the elevator to the hospital's parking garage when my cell phone rang. I a.s.sumed it was Kellan checking up on me until I saw the number on the screen. I had to do a double-take. This person wasn't in my contacts, but I knew that number like the back of my hand. It was Senator MacFarlane's office.

I moved out of the way of the elevator doors to let the people behind me in and returned to the hall. "This is Parker," I said as I picked up the call.

I'd expected the senator's secretary, but the voice on the other end was distinctly male. "Ms. Jones, this is Senator MacFarlane returning your call. Or should I say 'calls'? You've given my voicemail a run for its money, that's for sure."

I swallowed thickly, trying to make the transition from human being to professional journalist. "All in the name of the greater good, Senator. I take it you got my message about the veterans' jobs bill?"

"I did," he replied. "As well as the many others you left with my secretary. That's why I'm calling you back. I'd love to sit down and talk to you, face-to-face. Where can we meet?"

My heart pounded in my chest. Holy s.h.i.t. This was everything I'd been waiting for. Everything I'd dreamed of. I'd had fantasy after fantasy of the senator calling me back and arranging a meeting just like this, and yet now that it had happened, I had no idea what to do.

After a pause that felt like eons, I said, "What about Cafe Franz?" It was an upscale, but affordable, restaurant downtown. They had a room for private meetings that I was sure the senator would take advantage of.

"That sounds fine," the senator said. "I haven't eaten dinner yet, anyway."

I blinked. "Wait. You want to meet tonight?"

"That was my intent," he replied, "though if you're busy, I'm sure we could schedule something for... next month, perhaps?"

No, that wouldn't do. Kellan needed this bill to pa.s.s, and he needed it to pa.s.s yesterday. But he was fighting tonight, and soon. Could I really manage to tackle both his fight and a meeting with a state senator all in one evening?

I had to. I'd make it work. And when Kellan saw me after, I'd have amazing news. He'd be thrilled. It would be a great start to his new life-our new life.

Steeling myself, I said, "Tonight is fine. I can be at Cafe Franz in fifteen minutes." At least it was close to where Kellan would be fighting tonight. If I pled my case succinctly, he might not even have time to miss me.

"I'll see you there," the senator said. Then he ended the call.

I thought about shooting Kellan a quick text to let him know where I'd be, but I didn't want to worry him unnecessarily. If I wasn't going to be late, it wasn't a big deal, anyway. And I kind of wanted this news to be a surprise, if things went well. If they didn't, there was no reason to tell him. I didn't need the antic.i.p.ation of an answer clouding his judgment in the ring, either. He needed to keep his eyes on the prize: winning his freedom.

Instead, I sent him another heart, but didn't get a reply. He was probably warming up now, and I knew from experience he had no place in those shorts of his to hide a phone. They'd certainly never hidden his erection.

You can do this, I a.s.sured myself as I pressed the b.u.t.ton for the garage. You can make it all work out. I'm sure of it.

Kellan was my hero. For once, I wanted to be his, too.

~ Nineteen ~

Kellan

The first indication I had that something was wrong was when I saw the crowd.

Never had I ever drawn a following this large. I'd never seen anyone else on my level do it, either. s.h.i.t, even my last fight, which was supposed to be good odds for Vlad, hadn't had this many people watching. Something was going on here. Even if it was my last fight, there was no justification for the hundreds of people gathered here.

I wasn't especially familiar with this venue, either. It wasn't my usual place, and it was a h.e.l.l of a lot bigger, too. The facilities here were a little nicer, a little more permanent. Whoever had set this up sure as h.e.l.l wasn't worried about getting busted. There was no way they'd be able to bug out on short notice.

I stuffed my clothes and my cell phone in one of the lockers as I listened to the chatter coming from the ringside. Jesus, I could hear them all the way from in here. A low beat was thrumming from a wicked sound system I'd caught a glimpse of on my way in, a ba.s.sline I could feel in my chest. It only made me more uneasy. I didn't like all this flashiness. I felt a little too much like I was on display.

"What's the occasion?" I said to Vic when I heard him come in. I was doing my best to follow Parker's advice and be civil, but I knew if I looked at him, I'd bash his stupid rat-fink face in, so I kept my eyes on the inside of my locker and busied myself with making everything fit in there.

"Gotta do it big for your last fight, don't we, Killer?" Vic replied a little more coolly than I was used to. I was pretty sure he was mocking me, and I got the impression that there was something sinister lurking in his tone. "You're gettin' your fifteen minutes of fame and fortune tonight, so do me a favor and don't look a gift horse in the mouth, huh?"

"If you'd said that a few weeks ago, Vic, I would've happily obliged," I said, closing my locker. I turned to face him. Yup, there it was-the unmistakable urge to put my fist through Vic's skull. I was practically seeing red. But I had a lot riding on tonight, and I couldn't afford to compromise it with a.s.sault and battery charges. Parker was right. I needed to keep my head in the game.

I swallowed my rage and added, "But I think we both know now that everything you do comes with a price. Usually one n.o.body knows they're paying."

Vic blinked at me, barely suppressing a smile. "Oh, did I forget to mention?" I stared, and he grinned. "Oh, man. I guess I did! No wonder you're so confused." He walked over and reached up, placing his sweaty palm on my shoulder. "Tonight's a big night for you and me both, Killer. You're goin' up against Johnny Tutera. What a rare opportunity, huh?"

Johnny Tutera. Johnny f.u.c.king Tutera? Vic couldn't be serious. Johnny Tutera was a legit MMA fighter. A f.u.c.king professional. I'd watched his fights on TV a couple of times, spent whole nights in awe of the guy's skill and prowess. What the f.u.c.k was he doing here? And how the h.e.l.l had Vic snagged him?

More importantly, how the f.u.c.k was I supposed to beat him?

Slowly, I realized that was the point. I wasn't supposed to win this fight. This was Vic's way of making sure of that. Once again, he'd set me up for a fall. Vic always had to get the last word in, and this was one h.e.l.l of a "f.u.c.k you."

I swatted his hand off my shoulder and grabbed him by the throat, shoving him back into the set of lockers opposite mine. Vic slapped at my wrist and I hoisted him up, pushing him hard against the metal until his feet left the ground.

"You fat b.a.s.t.a.r.d," I hissed, squeezing hard. Vic wheezed and his face purpled. "You dumb f.u.c.k. You think you're pullin' all the strings here, don't you, Vic? You think all your little pit bulls are just too loyal to bite the hand that feeds them, huh? Except we never knew that you were feeding us sc.r.a.ps while you feasted on the food we f.u.c.king brought you."

"Killer," Vic managed to choke out, and I squeezed tighter.

"Shut up, Vic. For once, I'm gonna get the last word in."

I looked deep into Vic's eyes as I strangled the life out of him. His eyes were bulging and his tongue was pushing past his teeth. I could see the veins in his neck and head straining, pushing through his skin as they begged for the blood I was denying him. He kicked frantically, scoring a couple of weak blows against my thighs, gagging hard against my fingers wrapped around his throat.

When he began to struggle a little less and his body started to go limp, I let him go. Vic crashed to the ground and sucked in a long, painful breath, followed by the worst coughing fit I'd ever heard. I thought he was going to throw up.

I squatted down beside him and said, "No matter which way this goes tonight, Vic, I'm walking out of here with what you owe me. I'm not playing your stupid f.u.c.king games anymore. You f.u.c.k with me again, and the next time we meet, I won't stop squeezing until you're dead. It wouldn't be the first time I looked into a man's eyes while his life ran out. That's why they call me 'Killer,' Vic. Or did I forget to mention that?"

Vic was too busy trying to get a breath in to answer me. Good. I hoped I'd crushed his larynx and that d.i.c.k face would never be able to talk again.

I knew I'd done exactly what Parker had warned me not to do, but f.u.c.k Vic, and f.u.c.k this fight. Johnny Tutera was a monster in silver boxing shorts, a champion among champions. He was a couple years younger than me, too, and in a heavier weight cla.s.s for sure. He was at the top of his f.u.c.king game, and I was on my way out.

Not to mention I'd f.u.c.ked before the fight. I knew that was superst.i.tion, but it didn't exactly put me at ease. This was turning out to be a big f.u.c.king mess, and I was once again caught in the middle.

Everything you touch turns to s.h.i.t, a little voice in the back of my head sneered. That voice had been softer ever since I'd gotten back together with Parker, but even at a whisper, it made my stomach tie itself into knots.

There's no backing down now, I thought in reply. The only way to go is forward. Whatever happens tonight, at least I'll have Parker, and a new lease on life, too. As long as she's proud of me, that's enough.

But was it? What if I went out undefeated? What if I could keep the reputation I'd spent so long building in the underground fighting world? What if I could have my cake and eat it too-go out on top, and end up with Parker and my money all the same?

Was that greed, or pride? I wasn't sure, but I knew d.a.m.n well it was foolish to even consider going out there against Johnny Tutera.