Chapter 527: Should Overturn the Board

I was dreaming.

It was a dream where I was embracing a beautiful girl.

When I hug her, she responds awkwardly, and when I kiss her, she tenses up in surprise.

When I lick her groin, she tries to escape, and when I lay on top of her and bite her neck, she resigns and relaxes her limbs――

（I just saw something terrible.）

「Achoo!!」

I woke up from the strange whisper and my own sneeze.

Something fluffy sticks to my face and something enters my nose.

「Oh, it’s you. Man, I was one step away from insertion……what are you doing?」

I move the tail of the fox that slipped into the bed I’m guessing because of the cold weather.

The fox lets out a oddly erotic squeal and spreads its legs for me.

「There is a wound on your neck. Did you get scratched by a rose……no, those are teeth marks. Maybe you got into a fight with a stray dog?」

Well, it’s not too bad so you probably don’t need treatment.

I stand up after stroking the fox’s tail and notice something more problematic.

「Hey. You’ve done it now.」

Celia knocks at the worst timing.

「Aegir-sama, it’s about time. The preparation of the carriage is complete and……ah!?」

Celia sees the futon when she walks into the room and becomes speechless.

「A-Aegir-sama wet the bed!? The bed!!」

「You’re too loud! This fox came in and made a mess.」

I s.h.i.+ft my gaze and don’t see the fox which had been crying weirdly until now.

「Understood. Let us blame the fox. I will also tell Rita-san that.」

Does she really understand?

「More importantly, it’s time to get ready. Ensure your attire is perfect. That Viscount Ormud invited you to his dinner party, so you’ll be surrounded by enemies. One small oversight and they will pick you apart!」

We are headed to Mr. Potage’s residence for a banquet with the Schmidt family.

「Nonna is also quite fired up.」

With that said, I don’t think there is much meaning in attending.

The other person will be trying to find any openings to trip me up from the beginning and I don’t think I can talk my way out of such scrutiny.

As I talk to myself while getting dressed as I usually do, a voice chimes in agreeing with me.

「Fumu, you understand your opponent’s intentions.」

It was Head-helmina.

Despite his inconvenient body, he can appear anywhere like Casie.

She shows no resistance to the wary Celia and hops onto the bed.

How did she get up like that?

「Their goal is to denounce your rudeness in front of your family, ridicule you, and display their own superiority. If you lose your patience and rampage wildly, causing harm, they will report you to the royal family, which is a more desirable result.」

「I am not that much of a beast――」

Head-helmina speaks over me.

「That girl is something else. She opened her legs once and became the close aide of a great feudal lord, it’s a guaranteed lifetime of peace and security.」

「Wha-!?」

Celia is at a loss for words.

「Your wife is also amazing, swinging her hips as a big-breasted slave to move from a flea-infested brothel to a margrave’s silk bed-」

Before she finishes her sentence, I grab Head-helmina’s face and direct my anger at her.

That is when I realized what she was doing and groaned in frustration.

Head-helmina bows to apologize to the both of us and then lifts her head.

「You have a slim chance of enduring their verbal a.s.sault. If I was Viscount Ormud, you would have punched me.」

I think I would have beaten you up and chucked you out the window.

「You are not suited to this kind of exchange. It is clear to me you will make blunder after blunder and eventually resort to violence.」

Head-helmina goes on, though takes a poke to the forehead by Celia, who is still somewhat infuriated.

「Thus, you do not have to face your opponent in their ring. Rattle your opponents by destroying the a.s.sumption.」

She gives advice while being rocked back and forth by me and Celia.

In other words, it’s like flipping over the table when I lose a board game.

I’m good at that.

「Fortunately, your savageness and womanizing is well-known throughout the nation. No matter how many bad rumors the opposition creates about your uncivilized behavior and s.e.xual misconduct, the citizens and the king will only treat them as jokes. You should utilize that.」

I close my eyes and ponder briefly.

「I will bring more people to the party. Call Yakov and Leopolt. I’ll get Kuu to help too.」

Head-helmina nods.

「Ah.」

Celia mishandles Head-helmina, who rolls backward and lands on top of the pee stain.

I had to hold her up and wipe her face clean up while she grumbled in silence until the last second before departure.

Within House Schmidt Territory.

A few days in the carriage and we are almost to the city where the Schmidt residence is located.

「Gos.h.!.+ Really!?」

Nonna is fuming. I don’t blame her.

「Both the inn and merchant were out of firewood, when I tried to order food the delivery person was late because he said he tripped twice, and the play I wanted to see to cheer up happened to be temporarily closed on the day we pa.s.sed by……」

「The Schmidt family is obviously interfering! Using such underhanded tactics when they invited us! Grrrrr!」

I pat the angry Nonna’s head and b.r.e.a.s.t.s.

「There there, at least you weren’t hurt.」

Leopolt arranged for firewood and food from a different source beforehand so we don’t have to worry.

And although the play could not be watched, the brothel is open.

「Fufufu, I’m sure the Schmidt family won’t predict that I would go into a run-down brothel alone.」

Brothels at the destination of a trip are always exceptional.

When I paid a special bonus to a tired-looking prost.i.tute, she rejoiced, plus she allowed me to c.u.m on her face.

I took a liking to her and when I said I would find her a job if she came to Rafen, she was eager to visit.

「You went to a brothel when I stormed off to bed!? You’re terrible!」

Oops, I upset Nonna by going into unnecessary detail.

Anyways, so is this House Schmidt’s true plan?

「Let’s set that aside.」

「No, we won’t!」

I gaze out the window of the carriage.

Fields of wheat lie in front of my eyes, and it looks as if the winter crop has already been sown to fully prepare for the coming summer.

「The north hasn’t been exposed to war after all. Meanwhile, the area around Rafen is still recovering……it’s disgusting how these guys are acting so arrogantly in the furthest place from the war.」

Celia puffs up adorably.

There certainly doesn’t seem to be any traces of war……

「Woah.」

The carriage shakes and I rush to support Celia’s a.s.s and Nonna’s b.o.o.bs.

「The path is clean but there are many curves and ups and downs. The shaking might cause some of the luggage on a carriage to fall.」

Upon closer inspection, many of the fields are also crooked.

To match the varying field sizes the waterways are small and narrow, and some are even unnaturally bent, likely branching off a larger waterway, telling me at a glance how haphazardly they were constructed.

「It is much neater in Rafen.」

Nonna comments as she rests her bosom on my head.

「Fufu, the Hardlett territory is overwhelmingly superior!」

Celia states proudly like it’s her own accomplishment.

90 percent of the building is attributed to Adolph, but I guess Celia also did her best to manage the workers.

「Do you have anything to add?」

I look at Leopolt, who I forced to accompany me.

「The inconsistent and misshapen fields and waterways originate from the positions of each small farmer. There is no advantage to harvesting efficiency, as the existing positions are simply inherited, and they are vulnerable to disasters such as floods. In comparison, the arable land in Hardlett’s territory, where even the water requirements for each area are calculated, would have a yield per unit that is twice as high.」

「I see.」

I hunch over and write myself a note.

「I was thinking of asking Adolph later, you see.」

Leopolt looks out the window again and reiterates.

「The yield should be 1.8 times more.」

Fufufu, I win.

Don’t sigh like that and accept your loss.

「It’s not just Leopolt-san, the people also have tired expressions.」

Celia’s right, the peasants doing farmwork on the field look worn out.

They are not depressed to the extent of being tragic because of the effects of war, but they give off an indescribable sense of sadness.

「The citizens in the cities we visited seem fearful somehow too.」

The cause for that is evident.

「Hey, stop right there――!!」

The carriage slowly comes to a stop.

「We are the Red Dragon knights under the direct command of House Schmidt! How impertinent of you to be so rude to travel in a carriage drawn by multiple horses in the Margrave’s territory! Open the door so I can examine the luggage and your face!」

Obviously, things won’t be settled so easily.

「I-insolence! We were invited!」

Nonna is angry.

「Stopping us for an examination knowing full well that we are partic.i.p.ants of the party and after seeing our flag is a rather crude form of hara.s.sment.」

Leopolt also seems slightly ticked off.

「Why not? We’re not carrying anything bad. If they want to see, let’s show them……」

I say as I turn in the opposite direction.

「Aegir-sama……? Mu, what is that?」

Celia’s quick hands catches a letter that falls out of my pocket and opens it.

「The reply to the dinner party invitation…… wait, you didn’t send it!? Did you mess up again, Aegir-sama!?」

What happens once can happen again.

Celia leans out of the window.

「Ah, there’s no flag! Where did you put it!?」

「When I went to take a p.i.s.s earlier, it was cold. My cloak was buried under some luggage so I grabbed whatever was available……」

I pull the flag from under my b.u.t.t.

「Riding in such an opulent carriage without a flag is highly suspicious! Open the door this instant!」

「Arrgh, geez!」

Celia pounds my chest repeatedly, Nonna stares at me harshly, and Leopolt sighs.

「My bad, my bad. I just have to get them to understand, right?」

I kick the door open from the inside.

「Guwa!」

One of the knights is knocked to the ground.

Why are you standing in front of the door if you told me to open it, stupid?

「「You b.a.s.t.a.r.d――」」

They seem to recognize me when their hands touch the handle of their swords.

「Thanks for your hard work. I made a small mistake with the reply and the flag. If you report directly to the Schmidt family, then please take this to them.」

I hand them the letter responding to the invitation, acting like it’s not a big deal.

At the same time, Celia sticks out of the window and attaches the flag on the top of the carriage.

「War demon Hardlett……」

I confirm my ident.i.ty with a grunt and slowly take out the Dual Crater

「So, how long are you guys going to keep your hands on your swords? Don’t tell me……」

My hand is also on the hilt.

As I exude bloodl.u.s.t, the knights’ horses neigh nervously and back away a few steps.

Sensing my murderous intent, Schwartz also trots over reluctantly from behind me.

「N-no, it’s just we were notified of a suspicious carriage and as part of our job……hey.」

They remove their hands from their swords.

「Hahaha, I didn’t think so. I mean, who would start a fight here――――right?」

My warning forces the knight captain’s horse another three steps back.

He’s totally afraid. At this point, they are no threat.

I return the Dual Crater to the inside of the carriage.

「By the way, you won’t hara.s.s me, right? I thought for sure it was part of the job.」

I jokingly ask with a terrifying smile.

「W-we won’t do such a thing.」

「You jest……haha.」

「Take care now……」

Then all is good.

I step back into the carriage.

Schwartz also walks away, neighing as if to complain why he was called.

「So scary. I thought he was going to kill me. Did you see his eyes? I could have sworn his stare made a sound.」

「Is this fine? Reval-sama said――」

「Let’s pretend we hara.s.sed him. How could we have done it in that situation? He was going to kill me, the captain.」

The reason the peasants were nervous was because those knights and a bunch of worthless n.o.bles were lording over them.

On top of that, their underlings continue to stir up trouble.

The prost.i.tute I slept with was also exhausted from letting a squire use her for free.

When she complained to his knight, she was told that he doesn’t listen to people of inferior status and was thrown in prison.

「In that respect, Rafen doesn’t utilize guards or knights, Adolph hired people from the public The prost.i.tutes are much more lively.」

「The scale of the city is levels apart. All the cities we’ve been to are old and don’t come close to matching Rafen!」

Celia sticks out her chest proudly again, so I reach out to touch it,

She predicts my move and guards, but when I surprise her with a poke to her belly, she lets out a moan.

Incidentally, I’ve been warned time and time again by Adolph and Myla that I’m going too far with giving preferential treatment to brothels.

The incentive is so great that ordinary town girls are apparently working there as a side job.

Hey, isn’t that wonderful?

「The knights were well-dressed though. Normally escorts don steel or black armor, not something so refined. The horn on their helmets was also pretty nice.」

Their armor was indeed decorated with red and white ornaments and chains, and their helmets were needlessly sculpted.

They even had a red chicken-like feather on top.

Nonna emphasizes.

Leopolt doesn’t feel like chatting and stares out the window, while Celia’s gaze remains downward in embarra.s.sment of her moan.

「They’d be spotted first if they are so s.h.i.+ny though.」

「It’s fine to stand out, no?」

That’s how you’re looking at it?

「And the horn on their heads. If I fought them, I would grab it and throw them down.」

「Bu.」

Nonna sulks from my constant criticism.

Sorry, sorry.

I comfort Nonna as I open the window and call the carriage behind us.

「With the knights gone, it’s time to get to work. I’m counting on you to be a nuisance.」

Kuu and a girl move from the rear carriage.

Sekrit and Felteris jump out nimbly.

Yakov, Christoph and Mack also walk over.

Zillia hurries after Christoph.

「Don’t overdo it.」

Nonna smiles wryly as she steps down from the carriage, followed by Celia and Leopolt.

Celia seems dissatisfied.

「Alright, let’s make a mess of the Schmidt family’s prestigious party.」

Protagonist: Aegir Hardlett. 25 years old. Winter.

Status: Goldonia Kingdom Margrave. Great Feudal Lord of Eastern Area. Mountain Legend.

Friend of the Dwarves. Friend of the King of Aless. Dragon Slayer Hero.

Elf Mediator. s.e.x King of White City. Mad Demon G.o.d. Poison Resistance (strong).

Appears in the present story:

Celia (makeup), Nonna (legal wife), Kuu (flashy clothes), Leopolt (formal wear)

Yakov (knight escort), Christoph (knight escort) Mack (knight escort), Zillia (?)

Sekrit (grudgingly), Felteris (in high spirits)

————————————————————————————————

Territory Population

Total: 364 000

Rafen: 47 000, Lintbloom: 8 000

Richemott (former Libatis): 34 000 Populace gathering, Zwei Elfie: 2100 Increase of scoundrels

Army

Personnel: Infantry: 1000, Cavalry: 500, Escort: 30

Armaments: Cannons: 30, Large Cannons: 15, Dwarven Cannons: 15, Field Artillery: 10, Chariots: 30

a.s.sets: -300 000 gold

s.e.xual Partners: 815

Children who have been born: 71 + 567 (++)

Current Location: Rafen

Family:

Carla (concubine), Mel (concubine), Melissa (concubine), Miti (concubine), Sally (lady’s maid), Maruru (lady’s maid), Maria (concubine), Catherine (concubine), Gretel (concubine), Sofia (concubine), Leah (lover), Ruu (lover), Mireille (lover), Casie (ghost), Rita (head maid), Yoguri (masterpiece), Alice (lover)

Mother: Marceline (lover), Daughters: Eldest – Stephanie (lover), Second – Bridget (lover), Youngest – Felicie (lover), Claudia (free-loader), Clara (a.s.sistant), Adela (lover), Benel (slight reaction), Dorothea (side story)

Pipi (lactating girl)

Subordinates:

Natia (adventuring elf, search), Marta (a.s.sistant), Baroness Rukino Escaote (governor), Rukue (her daughter), Seika (her son?), T-99 (restrictive union), Head-helmina (stinky)

Tristan (staff officer), Adolph (brief rest), Polte (job), Yularen (mother), Ijaris (mother), Irijina (walking and eating), Myla (commander), Luna (commander of bow cavalry), Rafaella (parasitism pre-search), Altair (world crisis), Remia (seeking salvation), Guigue (suspicious), Sebastian (butler), Kroll (promoted)

Jim, Suzy, Solana

Others:

Ivanna (brawl), Annette (added a tattoo), Cedric (Erich’s aide), Martory (promiscuous girl), Piris (stable period), Busco (low-life), Gildress (King of Aless), Andrei (lolicon), Celestina (reigning queen), Monica (mama attendant)

Non-humans:

Schwartz (let down), Lammy (lamia), Mirumi (egg management), Alraune (filling the ground), Brynhildr (loli outfit), Smoothie (parenting), Pochi (giant lizard), Child lizard (concentration of mind)