"Jeez, it's hot." The saturating humidity almost took her breath.
"Look at those clouds," Jo said, raising her head. "It looks like the
bloody bottom's about to fall out of the sky."
"If it does, it'll fit my mood to a tee."
"Now, you see here, Cassie Sullivan, your son's safe and that slime ball
ex of yours is back in the pen for life, so you should be rolling in
roses."
Cassie opened her car door and got inside, then stared up at Jo Nell. "Of course I'm grateful for the way things turned out. If theyhadn't--well, I'd be in a rubber room bouncing off the walls."
"It's Austin, isn't it?"
"Yes," Cassie admitted grimly.
Jo Nell pulled her blouse away from her perspiring body and let out a sigh.
"You have to talk to him, you know?"
"I know."
"And until you do, you're going to be in this mood and look like you've
been through a war zone."
"I'm not arguing."
"Then why the hell are we having this conversation?"
"Because I'm scared, that's why."
"I can understand that, too. But dammit, Cassie, look what you've been
through. I've told you this before, you've got more guts in one little finger than I have in my entire body."
"That's poppycock."
"No, it's the truth. I couldn't have taken my child and fled on a moment's notice and started a new life. No way."
"Yes, you could, Jo." Cassie tone was gentle.
"If you'd ever had a child and knew that he was in grave danger, you could do anything. Trust me."
Jo shrugged.
"Maybe so, but I have to tell you, I'm selfish. Always have been and
always will be."
"You're not selfish. You're a generous friend whom I love and couldn't do without."
Jo Nell slammed the car door and stepped back, grinning.
"Thanks for saying that."
Cassie nodded, grinning back.
"By the way, how is Wilma? And James, too, for that matter?"
"Healthwise, Mother's still holding her own. Otherwise, they're having a
tough time dealing with all this. Daddy especially."
"Ah, they'll come around. Still, I think you and Tyler should find a place of your own. You've lived with Mommy and Daddy long enough."
"As soon as I make up my mind what I'm going to do, then I will."
"Don't worry about Austin. If he was out to make trouble, he would've
set things in motion already."
Cassie wiped the sweat off her brow.
"I wish I was that confident. He might just be biding his time, weighing
his options, so to speak."
"You and you only, Cass, can make this right. Or wrong. Whichever yourheart dictates. No one else can--not me or your parents." Jo Nellfrowned.
"Besides, you've been trying all your life to please Wilma and James.Don't you think it's time you pleased Cas- she ?"
"I don't know what I think anymore, except" -- Cas- she broke off andstared ahead.
"Except what?"
"Nothing." Cassie reaching for her sunglasses, her head splitting fromtension and the sun's glare.
"Anyway, I've taken up enough of your time. Your next customer's boundto be waiting for you."
Jo Nell stepped back.
"No big deal."
"We'll talk soon."
"Promise?"
Cassie forced a real smile.
"Promise."
A few minutes later she was back at the mansion, relieved to have thehouse to herself, something that was a rarity. Today the cards seemed tohave fallen her way.
James was at the church, and Wilma had felt well enough to have lunchwith some friends. Tyler was at day camp, and Joy had gone groceryshopping.
After fixing herself a glass of iced tea, Cassie kicked off her shoes atthe foot of the stairs and padded barefoot onto the veranda, where shesat in a huge rocker, its soothing motion almost lulling her to sleep.Realizing that, she stopped and reached for her tea.
Then she lifted her eyes toward the sky and watched as thunder cloudscontinued to gather. The rain would come, but it would offer no relieffrom the heat. Instead, it would make it worse. But as she had told JoNell, the weather fitted her mood.
Tears pricked her eyes, but Cassie willed them back. She couldn't cryabout Austin, not if she was going to make a rational decisionconcerning him.
That was what this afternoon was all about.
It had been a week now since she had seen him. Once Tyler had beenrescued.
Detective Malcolm had driven her and Tyler home in his car.
In all the confusion of the police's arrival and Lester's subsequentarrest, somehow Austin had managed to leave without: her even knowingit. * However, the following day they had met at the police station togive their statements to Detective Malcolm She had wanted to saysomething to him, but he hadn't given her the opportunity.
In fact, he had blatantly ignored her. Only once had their eyes met, andwhen that happened, the contact knocked her breathless. She had seen thepain reflected in his eyes along with something much more potent-betrayal.
"Austin," she had said, swallowing hard.
"Not now, Cassie."
His curt words had cut to the core, and she had shifted her gaze.
Still, every detail associated with him seemed seared on her brain, from
his mussed-up hair to the five o'clock shadow on his face, to hisopen-necked shirt with hair peeping through, hair she tugged on duringthe height of climax.
Cassie groaned, knowing that she loved him and would always love him.
But mixed with that love was an acute fear that she had killed any feelings he might have for her and that he would only want Tyler.
What if he tried to take her son away from her?
She kept telling herself that Austin would never do that, especially
after what Tyler had been through. Yet that niggling in the back of hermind remained, robbing her of the courage she needed to approach Austinand tell him she loved him and ask for forgiveness.
Somehow she had to find that courage. No matter what the end result, she had to talk to Austin. She owed it to him, to herself and to Tyler.
Their conversation just this morning had proved that. Over his protest, she had pulled Tyler onto her lap after he'd gotten dressed.
"Aw, Mom, I'm too big for this."
She hid her smile, thinking that he hadn't felt that way in that cabin
or afterward in the car. He'd sat in her lap and snuggled against her and hadn't thought twice about it.
"Maybe so, but humor me anyway."
"Do I have to?"
Cassie tousled his hair.