When in doubt, she remembered, always repeat the question' "What do I think of him ? I don't know. I haven't really thought about him. I don't really have any contact with him. Why do you ask?"

"Have you had any contact with Mrs. Macy?"

"I know her, of course. Alberta. She keeps trying to organize things. Tea parties for the hired help."

For a few moments he closed his eyes in thought, leaning back in his leather chair, fingers steepled. Then he looked at her, lips pursed, and finally said, "We've worked together for six years."

"I know. You gave me a real chance to show what I can do and I'm very grateful to you, Doctor Efflander."

From now on, we better be Fan and Jenny to each other."

"I'd like that, sir. Just when we're alone, of course... Finn ' He nodded and said, This is going to be a very personal conversation, Jenny."

"Does it have something to do with Reverend Macy and his wife?"

"Yes, it does. I'll work my way around to specifics. But first I want to know... how committed you are in every way to the doctrine of the Eternal Church of the Believer."

"Committed? I don't really know how to fit the way I feel to a word like that, Finn. If you work here you have to be a member. I tithe and I attend services and so on. I believe in the Church and in its teachings. I know you're not trying to trap me or anything. I guess I believe as much as the average member does. And I donate time to church work. But I guess I

can't take much credit for that. It's sort of expected of me. Of everybody." She shrugged and smiled.

He returned her smile and said, "I believe in God, and in eternal life, and in Jesus Christ, my savior, but I do not necessarily believe that the Meadows family and this organization is the one and only way to salvation." He watched her reaction and said, "No, Jenny, you're right. This isn't any kind of a trick or a test. By telling you this, I would be endangering myself if I didn't feel that we can trust each other."

"Okay... Finn. I guess I think the way you do. I guess we've both known how the other person thinks, really. The thing I like the best about the whole setup is the job I've got. And the chance to work with you, because you let me have some authority and responsibility."

"As you know, Jenny, I was hired away from a position I thought very complex and demanding. I was assistant to the chief executive officer of a corporation with five plants, nine subsidiaries, ten product lines and eight operating unions. I was hired for half again what I was making and I am now working half again as hard as I was there. The demands of the job are what motivate me. I am a clown riding a seven-wheeled bicycle across a high wire to see if it can be done."

"But i..."

"Be patient with me, Jenny. I don't get much chance to talk with any kind of absolute frankness to anyone on the team forgive the corny expression. I think we understand each other to a certain extent. While at the same time respecting each other's privacy. Okay, so the Church keeps growing. In one sense increasing power means an increasing invulnerability to slings and arrows and so forth. But with increased power comes increased visibility. And the bigger a target is, the easier it is to hit it. With increased power and importance we have little people within the organization who want to expand their own importance by playing on the vulnerability of other people who also work here. I like to keep tabs on our areas of vulnerability. I have my own little network of people who tell me things. You are a valued member of that network, mostly because you never bother me with trivia. I know that when you tell me something, it is going to be useful. I was given a quote from Alberta Macy the other day. She said that when her husband becomes as important in the Church as he deserves, libertines like Joe Deets and John Tinker Meadows are going to be exposed and thrown out, and understand I am using an exact quote there'll be no room here for sexual deviates like Jenny MacBeth and Jenny Albritton."

c Jhejbright r 0m seemed to darken for a moment, and Finn tttlander s head and face looked four or five times life size. His mouth was moving but she could not hear what he was saying And then she could hear his words.

... are all right?"

"I'm all right. It's just such a foul, filthy thing for that woman to say about us. It made me feel faint. I'm okay now, Finn."

"And there is absolutely no truth to the accusation?"

"None. We share a house. You knew that. She's my best friend. I can't tell her about this. It would hurt her terribly."

"Let me explain something to you a couple of things. First, it is my intention to protect my people from false accusations.

That is one of the obligations of any kind of leadership. It would hurt my standing here and hurt me personally if I were to protect you and then find out later that Mrs. Macy could prove her statement. Wait a minute. Let me finish. My final observation is that you do your job well and your personal life is your own. I avoid making moral judgments on anyone for anything that doesn't affect their work."

She started to speak and he interrupted her. Think it over for a little bit before you jump at it, Jenny."

She felt her face grow hot and she pretended to feel faint again and buried her face against her knees to hide the telltale blush. While she was hiding from him, her mind was racing.

How could that damned woman have suspected? How could she prove anything?

"Consenting adults can pick any life style they choose," he said, 'just so long as it is between the two of them."

"Can I explain something to you? Please? Will you try to understand?"

Smiling, he held up his hand, palm toward her.

"I don't want to pry into your personal life."

Jenny MacBeth hesitated. He had interrupted her at exactly the wrong moment if he was seeking total disclosure. She realized the friendly little talk had been a form of manipulaY ?" How could he foresee any chance of defending her?

Whether he thought the accusation was true or false, it would make no difference. He would ridicule the accusation in any case.

She smiled disarmingly at him and said, "All I was going to say was that Jenny Albritton is the best friend I've ever had. I never had a woman as a close friend before. We live in our little house with absolutely no friction at all. If that's some form of deviation, then I plead guilty, Finn."

She sensed both relief and skepticism, and plunged ahead, now confident of her role.

"I guess that you would have to know her history to know how insane that accusation is. She had a husband and a little boy who was retarded. Her husband worked for a newspaper. They were going to visit his sister one Sunday. The little boy was in a kiddy chair strapped to the front seat. A drunk hit them head on, killing her husband and son. All she got were sprains and bruises. They had just begun to get interested in the Eternal Church of the Believer. After that, she got more interested and it seemed to help her with her loss, so she came down here and got a job doing public relations, the same sort of work she had done before she was married.

"I was lonely too. I'd been engaged to a man who didn't want to get married until we had a certain amount in a joint savings account. After we got to that total, he drew it all out and packed and left town without a word. I'd told everybody we were going to be married. We'd set a date. We were living together. Everybody knew that. I couldn't face it. I tried to kill myself but they found me in time. An old man I had known for years made me go with him to his church when Matthew Meadows was the guest minister. And I went up to the rail, choking and sobbing, and was saved. I was born again. I needed it right then, at that time in my life. But now it is not as strong a need. I guess it's because I'm happy in my work and in having a good and loyal friend in Jenny Albritton. We became friendly and signed up for the house together. I'd been here over a year by then, nearer two. So neither of us had any social life. We told each other our life stories. We shop together, cook together, diet together, take a course in Spanish at the University together. We wash each other's hair, alter each other's clothes, and we buy presents for each other. So I guess it's easy to see how some strange little woman with a dirty little mind would get the wrong idea about us. If the right man should come along for either of us, it would change everything. We both know that and accept it."

She stopped, realizing that to go on too long would be a form of overkill. She shrugged and smiled and said, "Now you know my dreadful secret."

She realized he had tried to maneuver her, and it had come dangerously close to working. Efflander was an expert. And she knew that if he had tricked her into confession, their six-year relationship would suddenly have become a very different thing. He would pretend to understand, but in truth he would not. He would look at her in quite a different way.

Maybe staying in the closet was a primitive reaction in San Francisco or Dallas, but it was certainly a necessity at Meadows Center.

"I understand," he said.

"I quite understand." From his smile she could tell that his relief was total, and the skepticism she had seen before had vanished.

"I knew you would," she said.

"That's why I thought I'd better explain how the way we live could give that woman the wrong impression."

"As I said before, Jenny, in a large organization growing ever larger, as this is, it is dangerous and unpleasant when ambitious people begin to set up little fiefdoms, little empires, and try to grab for more power. Walter Macy is a better operator than I realized. He's been playing up to the ministers of the affiliated churches. He's strengthened that organization. He audits their share of the tithes. He preaches in their churches.

He pats them on the back. Matthew Meadows' sickness has left a power vacuum. Walter Macy is doing exactly the same sort of job on the affiliates that Matthew used to do. John Tinker hasn't been interested in filling it. Old Matthew buttered up the affiliated preachers. There's a resolution on the books that if and when a new pastor for the Meadows Center Church is appointed, the appointment has to have the approval of a majority of the ministers of the affiliated churches. Also, like a footnote, any pastor of this Church can be deposed by a majority vote."

"But I don't know anything about..."

"I'm telling you things you don't know. Right? You are useful and valuable around here. I want you to understand where Walter and Alberta Macy are headed, how they are thinking. Whenever John Tinker gets in one of our jets and flies to Houston or Toronto, you can bet that Walter and Alberta are thinking that someday they will be the ones doing the flying, and staying in the presidential suites and ordering the very best wines. I am in their way. Joe Deets is in their way.

John Tinker is in their way. They can cut me down to size by picking off my best people, like a sniper on a hill."

"And that's the way they wanted to get rid of me? To make a false accusation and have you fire me? That's scary. What if you believed that? And never asked me about it."

"Her remark about you was repeated to me by a person she feels she can trust implicitly. Either she was off guard when she said it or she said it to a person she knew would bring it to me.