Doctor. _(suspiciously)_ Gone bad?

Aurora. Yes, sir, an' I've fr--fr--

Doctor. Fried it?

Aurora. No, sir, frowed it away!

Doctor. All of it? _(goes to medicine chest)_

Aurora. Yes, sir, all of it. _(one step back, nods hard)_

Doctor. _(aside)_ She's eaten it. _(to her)_ Aurora. show me your tongue. H'm! you'd better take this. _(pours out a draught)_

Aurora. _(aside, rapturously)_ 'Is patient at larst! _(takes it)_ Thank you, sir. _(gasps)_ I've touched 'is 'and.

Doctor. You won't like it.

Aurora. I will, sir, if I die arter it. _(aside)_ I'm in seven 'eavens already! _(drinks, pulls an awful face)_ It's all for 'im!

_(Doctor puts gla.s.s back, Aurora takes big lump of sugar from tea-table.)_

Doctor. _(seriously)_ You might have died of ptomaine poisoning, eating that decayed tinned stuff, _(crosses to sofa, sits again)_

Aurora. Oh, sir, I never touched a mossel. _(big lump in her cheek)_

Doctor. _(surprised)_ You didn't eat it?

Aurora. Not me, sir! I ain't no thief! _(takes another lump)_

Doctor. _(smiles)_ Well, never mind. That won't hurt you.

Aurora. Please, sir, _(looking at him fondly--hesitatingly)_ Mrs. O'Hara, she arsked me to say--as it's Lady day, would you allow 'er----

Doctor. I know--something on account.

Aurora. Oh, no, sir--would you allow her to send up a beautiful bird for yer tea?

Doctor. No, thanks, I--I've just dined, _(eats ravenously)_

Aurora. _(aside)_ Lord forgive 'im. _(watches him eating)_

Doctor. _(aside)_ Mrs. O'Hara has tried that dodge before, but I'm not taking any.

Aurora. I'm sure you'd like it, sir, it's a quail on toast.

Doctor. _(aside, jumping up)_ Quail on toast!' d.a.m.n it! Do you want to drive me mad? _(shouts to her)_ No! Go! _(sits and pours out another cup)_

Aurora. _(aside)_ No go. 'E don't love me, or 'e wouldn't say that?

_(Bell rings.)_

Oh, that bell! _(comes back and quickly removes the things)_

Doctor. _(still holding teapot in left hand)_ What are you doing now?

Aurora. Clearing away, sir, in case it's for you.

_(Exit Aurora with tea-tray.)_

Doctor. What's she done that for? I wish Flo was here to look after me. It was hard to leave her at Lowestoft, _(takes photo from pocket, stands it up before him on table)_ Dear little Flo!

The one girl I've loved all my life! _(arm outstretched, teapot in L. hand)_ To think that you're my wife at last! _(slowly closing his arms)_ My wife! _(hugging teapot, yowls)_ It seems too good to be true. And where are the patients Quayle said would flow In? Simply flow In! _(waves teapot, tea, goes all over the stage)_ h.e.l.lo! its flowing out.

_(Enter Plant.)_

_(loudly)_ I say, where are my patients? _(loudly, coming down stage, not seeing Plant)_

Plant. _(more loudly)_ And I say _where_ are my daughters?

Doctor. _(seeing him)_ My first! Quayle's right, after all.

_(comes to Plant teapot in hand, a.s.sumes professional air)_ Good afternoon, won't you sit down? _(seats himself and writing table, puts teapot on blotter. He is always absent-minded when absorbed in his science)_

Now! _(earnestly)_ What can I do for you? What's the trouble, eh?

Plant. _(aside)_ Well, upon my word, he's a cool customer.

_(stands R. of table)_

Doctor. Come, come, let's hear what it is, or how I can help you; you know I'm in the habit of hearing confidences, _(sees teapot, puts it under table)_

Plant. _(indignantly)_ Sir, I'm a father!

Doctor. _(bowing)_ Sir, I congratulate you. _(writes "Father"

on note pad--to Plant cheerfully)_ Is it a boy or a girl?

Plant. _(hotly)_ Two girls, sir.

Doctor. Dear, dear, I sympathize with you. _(makes a note "two girls")_ Mother doing well?

Plant. _(gesticulating wildly)_ The mother's dead, sir!

Doctor. _(with sympathy)_ Ah, now I understand your agitation, _(makes note)_ And the twins--are _they_ well?

Plant. _(wildly)_ d.a.m.n it, Sir, they're not twins, and I've lost 'em.

Doctor. Dear, dear! _(aside)_ Lost his wife and both the poor little babies, _(writing on note pad)_

Plant. _(chokingly)_ Only half an hour ago, and I've come to you----

Doctor. _(putting up his hand)_ No, no, if your own Doctor won't grant a certificate, it's no use coming to me. _(tears up notes)_