Always Mother, sloughing her children off of herself like old robes, and then she vanishes, yes, vanishes, and there were no trees where I was born, none at all, but your *our*

mother did it too, she spat you [us]

out among the flowers and then filled you /us/ up with fish eyes until it was time to give you -us- us, yes, us, give us all to the man who was {neither old nor young,} who was neither handsome nor ugly, ( who was neither fat nor thin,) neither, neither, neither :: my mother was fishing, sitting propped against a stone by a little pond, and the air was golden and still, golden and still under the flowering cassia, the yellow blossoms and the red bark, and the smell of cinnamon floating over the rippleless water :: Mother squeezed me/us out into the wriggling silver, the wriggling silver and the salt churn, she pushed and pushed and I we dribbled from her like pus, like a tumor, like a :: she held the pole between her feet; it curved like a lazily drawn bow. :: leech.

:: There were no tugs at the line; it hung limply as a spare koto-string. But, as afternoons will, the late sun brought a fish to the morsel of pig-gut on my mother's crude hook, and in lurching forward to catch the suddenly taut pole from between her ankles, mother felt something tear inside her :: Ah, Kushinada!

*Kushinada!*

I know that tear! Please, I beg-yes, I beg, I am above nothing, lower than worms, than snails-make the blood stop. Be a good girl, be the good daughter, (be a good girl) {be the good daughter} put your hands on me and plug up this wet mire -reach up, baby sister, and we will carry you- it will ooze between your fingers like menarche but don't fear, don't fear :: and she caught her belly, gasped, fell forward on her knees and saw the fish in the water, pig-bowel dribbling from its piscine lip, looking at her through the filmy green pond. It blinked in the slant-light, and she breathed quick and fast :: there is a space in me (there is a space in us) the space from which all this miasma wells /the place kept still and soft for you, Kushinada/ and that space was once empty, nothing more than a hollow between muscles -it is not so bad here- but now, now there are seven there, and their mouths make a chain, and they we are waiting for the weld of you, and [we are the Mouth now,]

and I think if I could turn my heads just so *if we could knot the body just so we might see ourselves*

I might see them inside me, holding hands, and out of their heads flower the branches that shiver my bones :: quick and fast and low, and the grass was soaked with her water and her blood; her womb-water joined the green water and flowed in and out of the rosy fish's gills :: there were fish at my (our) birth, too, so many, all silvern and clear, and they smelled, oh, they smelled like *sorrow*

lightning, and they weighed nothing at all, nothing- :: and she bit down on a cassia branch in agony, and her mouth was flooded with the murky taste of cinnamon :: (we remember how she told this story,) how she used to give you a flake of cinnamon bark /to suck when you teethed/ I.

{we} had no teeth, my [our]

eyes would not open, I we could not stand, I *we*

was nothing but a sack sloshing with water, and only the fish would take me, -us- would give me (us) their tentacles to suckle.

:: and the tear in her grinned wide :: wide, ah, wide! :: wider than the mouth of the watchful fish, and she thought her bones would shatter as she squatted by the green water. I came out of her :: like a leech-child :: and her hands on my soft head were red as paint, and the umbilicus was knotted round my neck -yes, she always told it like this: she tore it with her teeth- /oh, what a fish mother caught that day, with the pole-and-line of her ruined flesh!/ :: And gasping in the flotsam of her body she looked at the rosy fish again :: the fish carried me [it carried us-didn't you feel that we were in you already, the promise of us, the taste?]

away from Onogoro; I (we floated with you, the seeds of our plums and our weeds) rested on their backs like the bow of the boat of heaven, island to island, and the water tasted of mother, and I, I was so alone.

*Oh, beauty, oh self of our selves!*

(You are not alone, we are none of us alone!) I was alone then, in the dark.

[Never again, we swear it]

we would not let you go into the dark alone -not without our arms ringed round you- :: floating still next to the line. It looked at her silently, without reproach, and slowly closed the morsel of pig-gut in its mouth :: *and the tear was so wide and so great in her*

/that mother never gave the trees another daughter/ and told us the story of the fish and the cassia {while we stirred the soup} We birth each other, over and over, Mouth to Mouth, and it is still dark, but seven clutch each other, (seven clutch you) and seven clutch me, and I [we]

do not remember any longer whether I am eighth or first or last, *there are eight, always eight*

I do not remember any longer what mother looked like, but their -our- cool black braids lie over /all of us/ me like first kisses.

:: My first meal was the mash of that fish's black eyes :: My first meal was the slippery skin of those velvet jellyfish, and in those days we were so like each other, but they did not speak to me like my selves do now, and {we never bled} but we ate (and we grew) :: Please, it is cold out here, and I am alone. I taste of cinnamon, and I will lie soft on your tongue. Let me touch your skin-it flames blue and sere!-but let me touch it, let me pry open your lips. It is cold, I want my sisters, I want to be eight-in-one, I have heard them whispering and I know they want me. Lonely little leech, I don't want the soup of eyes. I don't want the bitter tea. I don't want the birth story, the cassia or the persimmon, the plum or the cherry, the weeds or the eyes. I will be your Onogoro, and you will be my Heaven-Spanning Bridge, and I will never leave you. :: Kushinada, where will I go, when you are all inside me?

/Hush, now, we are infinitely tractable/ (Don't you know how far women stretch?) *There is room, there is room, always room for our sister, our jewel, our little cinnamon-suckling babe*

:: Let me in :: Kushinada!

:: Oh, let me :: But the blood!

*the blood is of us*

[and in us] -and because of us- / and from us/ and it is us (and there is always blood) {when new things are} born.

IX.

MT. HIBA.

The white-capped monks shivered-it was night, and the stars gave no heat. Did they weep? I could not tell, their faces hunched together; they all refused to meet my eyes. They ought to have wept-it is that sort of story.

"You see how it was, now," I sighed, "and you will not spread Izanagi's lies any longer, I know."

"No, musuko," they murmured, and they turned their faces tighter towards each other.

"Musuko, musuko! What a stupid word. You have no sons at all. But please," and here I leaned close in, hearing my knees creak into the crouch, "I will overlook your wormy vocabulary if you will only tell me why you have those carvings, of the eight-headed snake and I. Did you dream such a scene? Do you know where the snake is to be found?"

The abbot's shining head rose bravely from the throng, which seemed to me in that moment to resemble most ridiculously a bouquet of flowers, bunched together and nodding in the breeze. "Susanoo-no-Mikoto, the serpent carved on our walls has plagued these valleys since my grandfather was a boy. It likes especially to eat maidens and young mothers. We made these icons in the hope that you would vanquish it, cut its heads and tails from its body, and add to your already immeasurable glory. They are our prayers."

So simple, then. They knew nothing they ought not to have known. I was not walking through an already-told tale. I was myself, and no other, not the storm-seed, not the flesh-cased man. I should have known how empty they would prove.

"I have resolved already to kill it, and wed the last girl it seized, if she is still alive. It is only that I cannot find the beast. And I have been distracted by . . . family matters."

"Of course, Storm-Lord! But why would a god marry a poor farm girl?" asked one of the bound novices, his voice thin and chirping as an insect.

"All things must eventually mate," I shrugged, "having been cast into a man's flesh I must do as flesh does. And it hardly matters whether one mates with a woman or a rock or a river-the end result is the same. Once all the world wed stones and trees-but this is a degenerate age, and no one keeps to tradition."

The abbot spoke again among his bright-robed brothers. "The serpent has been quiet of late, but it is easy to spot, for in the last year terrible trees have sprouted from its back, and it drags a train of black, clotted blood behind it like a bridal veil."

"But where?" I cried, and curled my fists, "no one can tell me where it drags its bloody belly, where these trees grow!"

Stroking his beads like a girl brushes her hair, the abbot pursed his lips. "The last time I heard its cries was outside of Hiroshima."

"The city," I said heavily.

"Yes, the city, the city," the monks nodded eagerly, "now let us go!"

"Everyone points me towards that reeking, wasted city. I do not wish to go there, I do not wish it!" I suppressed the urge to stamp my feet and tear my hair. Instead, I simply turned my head to one side and then the other, worrying the serpent in my mind like an old bone.

"Do you make the eight-times-brewed wine in this shrine?" I asked suddenly with a voice like a crow.

"Yes . . . yes," answered the novice, confused, "we have some barrels left, but the brewing season is long past."

"If you will bring eight barrels, and a quantity of sacred camphor wood, I will let you go-but you must come with me into Hiroshima, which stinks of meat and bodies, and do as I say."

The monks wept then, certainly, and shook their knots, and swore they would obey me, whatever I should ask.

"Wait," I whispered, "before we leave-do you know, do you also know where the entrance to the Root-Country is, the path down into Ne no Kuni?"

After a long silence, the abbot folded his hands in his lap.

"No, my lord. No man knows that."

EIGHT.

Call us Monster. Call us Leech. Call us Daughter.

We smelled it first. The scents came looping and spinning up through the banyan-roots and into the little clearing where we lay in our cradle of blood, and it smelled, oh, it smelled like warm rice and pickled eyes, it smelled like cassia and persimmon, it smelled like jellyfish thin as breath.

And it smelled like Kazuyo-that-was.

And it smelled like Kameko-who-laughed.

And it smelled like Kiyomi-who-wept.

And it smelled like the Kaya-bird.

And it smelled like Kyoko-who-was-plain.

And it smelled like Koto-who-had-no-story.

And it smelled like Kaori-who-waited-outside-the-door.

And it smelled of Hiruko-who-wailed-for-its-mother.

And it smelled like Kushinada, Kushinada, who tasted of tea.

It smelled like ourselves, and we were drawn to it.

Of course, under that we could smell you, brother-even in your new skin you smell of scorched air and boiling water. But the other smells-the other smells were better smells, and we have wanted better things. It is not that we were fooled, or befuddled. We were fed all our life on eyes: there is nothing we do not see.

We came down after it, down the grassy hillocks and the forest chasms, and our back rolled and creaked like a ship under the weight of flowering trees-but in the reflections of the puddles and paddies we thought ourselves beautiful, and our blood was so red, so red. And we saw the city of Hiroshima, and the river delta, and the sun on the water-and oh! The manifold fence! Out of red and smoke-scented woods a fence had been thrown up, and in it were eight doors, and each door was thrown open as though you were expecting us for festival, brother, as if you welcomed us. Just beyond each door were eight pearl-lined bowls, and each bowl was filled with rice-wine eight-times-brewed. They were laid out so carefully, so sweetly, that we thought-forgive us!-for a moment, that you knew us, and wanted to drink to ghosts among family.

Was it not clever of him, to lay out such well-crafted dishes? I think there has never been anyone so clever as he.

We bend our heads, ducking under the lip of the eight-fold fence, crossing the threshold, threaded as through an ornate needle. Blood pools beneath us-we do not notice. Its warmth has become familiar as a hand. We look hopefully for our brother, to greet us, to toast our health. There is no one; the city below is quiet. Not far from here Kushinada was born in the witness of a fish; not far from here Susanoo-no-Mikoto descended from the rage-blind fire of heaven, the fire which blanches all things to bones. We thought we could still see the afterimage of that fire still laid over the streets, a scald in our vision-but perhaps it is nothing, nothing, perhaps it is a trick of the sunlight, and the wine, which drinks up the gold and throws it up into our eyes like a column of flame.

We look again for our brother-who-is-not-our-brother-the genealogy is muddy, now that we are ourself and no longer a leech and eight girls-we put on our best and most practiced smile like a festival dress. Come see us, come see that we grew up to be beautiful, after all.

There is no one.

The rice-wine smells of fish-eyes, and salt.

It will not hurt, certainly, if we drink a bit before he comes.

He would not begrudge us wet throats.

X.

HIROSHIMA.

The wretched, stupid thing drank itself into stupor. Its heads lolled on the grass as I approached, looking up at me with great dark eyes, its translucent eyelids opening and closing weakly over sixteen dark irises. It tried to raise each head, one after the other, and let them fall with a heavy slap onto the dirt road beyond the manifold fence. Spittle dribbled from its mouths. It was pitiful; it could hardly moan. Stinking blood ran in arm-thick rivulets from its prone belly, and on its back grew a tangled, stunted forest of trees whose flowers, too, were streaked with bloody muck-in among the ruin there might have been sprigs of cassia, but who could tell? I ran my hands over the massive body, through the thin trunks and the dripping belly. The skin beneath was silver, flushed with blue and gold, rose and green, iridescent as that of a snail.

It was helpless as an infant, unable to stand, and I could smell, still, the skin of Kushinada on its breath.

The monks crowded around, prodding the beast, awe-struck at its size and nearness, this thing they had feared for so long. They tugged at the eight tails, even tasted the oozing blood, and plucked limbs from the forest of its spine. The abbot put a decrepit sword into my hand, the ceremonial blade of their shrine, hardly sharp enough to cut lard. But even below the cellars of heaven, my arms are strong.

I walked to the first head, and in the late afternoon light, the eyes seemed to struggle, the lid seemed to draw aside like pale curtains, and its mouth seemed to protest. With that blunted sword I hewed into the gray-green flesh of its neck-and the blood which flowed from the serpent was red as a woman's, and the jaws sprung open, and its exhale was a shriek: /Is this how the snot-born earns back his godhead? He slurps us, oh, we are his soup!/ I walked to the second head, and hewed into the silver-blue flesh of its neck-and the blood which flowed from the serpent was red as a woman's, and the jaws sprung open, and its exhale was a rattle: (Is this how the unloved child punishes the only one less loved than he? He chews us, oh, we are his gristle!) I walked to the third head, and hewed into the pearl-gold flesh of its neck-and the blood which flowed from the serpent was red as a woman's, and the jaws sprung open, and its exhale was a scream: -Is this how the suitor greets his bride? He buys us, oh, we are his prize!- I walked to the fourth head, and hewed into the nacreous flesh of its neck-and the blood which flowed from the serpent was red as a woman's, and the jaws sprung open, and its exhale was a hiss: {Is this how the dog shows its dam its adulation? He gnaws us, oh, we are his bone!} I walked to the fifth head, and hewed into the bruise-violet flesh of its neck-and the blood which flowed from the serpent was red as a woman's, and the jaws sprung open, and its exhale was a sigh: Is this how a cloud shows the sun its strength? He hides us, oh, we are his crime! I walked to the sixth head, and hewed into the tarnished opal flesh of its neck-and the blood which flowed from the serpent was red as a woman's, and the jaws sprung open, and its exhale was a howl: [Is this how the hero defeats his dragon? He cuts us, oh, we are his supper!]

I walked to the seventh head, and hewed into the watery flesh of its neck-and the blood which flowed from the serpent was red as a woman's, and the jaws sprung open, and its exhale was a shudder: *Is this how family honors family? He stains us, oh, he stains us, we are nothing to him! No, please, Susanoo, let me stay, let me live beside you, as Mother meant-*

I walked to the eighth head, and hewed into the worm-slick flesh of its neck-and the blood which flowed from the serpent was red as a woman's, and the jaws sprung open, and its exhale was a maddened cry: "Please, oh, please, I am afraid! The jellyfish, the jellyfish-I can't see! The jellyfish crowd overhead!"

I opened the last neck and lodged there, as though she had just been swallowed, was the body of Kushinada, laid into the green-black flesh like a gem set into a box. She was as beautiful as they promised, her hair wrapping her body, strands sticking in the pooled blood, her pale and perfect face streaked with bile and slime. She lay clutching the length of the serpent's gnarled spine with all her strength, her arms and legs clasped around it, weeping piteously.

"No, no, Kameko, Kazuyo! Kaya, Kiyomi, my sisters! Kyoko, Kaori, Koto! Come back, come back, Hiruko, please, it is cold out here, I am alone, I am alone, we said we would none of us be alone again. Come back!"

I pulled her from her throat-creche, pulled her out of that wreckage of blood and tissue as a midwife pulls a child from a dead mother, and she trembled beautifully in my arms. I brushed her hair from her face, tenderly and dear.

"You are not alone, Kushinada. I am here, and I have saved you."

But she kept weeping, soft as a mouse, and shaking her head, whimpering: "No, no."

It became tiresome.

I gave her over to the monks to clean and comfort, for a thing had caught my eye. Kushinada-jewel among maidens!-had clung to the serpent's spine as though it would save her. It gleamed white as a tooth in the slough, the vertebrae knobbled and arched almost in the shape of a sword. I knelt in the sodden grass and pulled the bone from the muscle, ligaments popping and cartilage cracking as it came free. With the blunt and heavy edge of the abbot's sword I hacked at the length of it until it shone with a terrible edge, and a hilt which as so bright and pale as to seem nearly hewn out of diamond.

I sweated in the deepening twilight, but I was proud of my work. I gave the blade a flourish and with one blow halved the trunks of eight tall weeds sprouting from the serpent's corpse. Kushinada gave a sharp yelp like a kicked cat, and fell to her knees, tears steaming on her perfect cheeks.