Chapter 17 Youre a Pig!

Lizz shook her head innocently. Never heard of it.

Zhang Shaoyu, not wanting to dwell too long trying to explain what pissed off gods meant, asked her instead, You were just called to the deans office too, right?He didnt cause trouble for you?

He dares? Lizz scowled fiercely and said, I wont just burn off his skin, Ill rip out his bones!

Zhang Shaoyu smiled as he patted Lizzs head. If you burn off his skin and rip out his bones, Im going to have my skin burned off and bones ripped out in turn.

Lizz puffed out her cheeks and answered angrily, Whoever dares to burn off your skin or rip out your bones, I will help you burn off their skin, rip out their bones, and tear them apart!

Zhang Shaoyu was too exhausted from the days events tocontinue.So, he smiled atLizz and said, I dont want to play tongue twisters with you right now Im hungry, why dont we go home and eat?

Upon hearing the word eat,Lizz immediately perked up and tugged on Shaoyus sleeves, smiling brightly.

Okay then! Shaoyu, I want sweet and sour pork!

Righto! Zhang Shaoyu immediately felt better up after seeing Lizzs smile, his depression melting away. Seeing Lizzs smile was like seeing a beautiful landscape or his favorite scenery.

They walked down the street illuminated by the reddish evening sunlight. The time and atmosphere being what it was, the streets were full of couples walking hand in hand.

Zhang Shaoyu felt a bit envious at the sight, and as he watched Lizz skipping happily beside him, he pondered,Lizzs my girlfriend. Would it be better for us to hold hands too?

He kept pondering and pondering, but in the end, while keeping his gaze forward, his hand, little by little, stretched towards Lizzs.

Just as their hands were almost to the point of touching and Zhang Shaoyu was just about to reach out and grab her, Lizz suddenly shouted, Hey, Shaoyu!

The sudden exclamation surprised Zhang Shaoyu. He snapped back his hand guiltily and wiped off the sweat on his forehead, asking, Wh-What is it?

Lizz, cheerfully oblivious as to what was going on inside Shaoyus head, innocently asked, Why did you bring me to eat that stinking water this morning?

Zhang Shaoyu chuckled, You silly girl! Listen, its called broth, not stinking water.

Lizz tilted her head, Whats broth?

Zhang Shaoyu scratched his head, trying to come up with a simple explanation, Broth isErrIts a kind of food, umm, you mix in meat, herbs, and stuff like that in boiling water.

Lizz blinked as her brain processed the information, before finally saying, Theyd need a pot to mix all that stuff in, so its like hot pot?(1)

Zhang Shaoyu thought for a moment before agreeing. Simply put, yes.

Lizz nodded and faced the other way, whispering to herself, Huh, so making broth is like making a magical potion

Suddenly, an idea popped into her head.

Actually, Lizz had wanted to teach Zhang Shaoyu magic since the day before, but since she couldnt reveal her identity,it was difficult to come up with a way to do so. After all, Zhang Shaoyu was not afool.Ifshe taught him something to do with magic, he would figure out what she was thinking.

After thinking long and hard, she still couldnt come up with a way to fool Zhang Shaoyu while allowing him learn magic.

Lizz had also considered draining the magic out of Zhang Shaoyus body. But since there was no magic nucleus in his body, the magic was spread throughout,and like a herd of beasts, it was ferocious and difficult to control. If she tried to use absorbing magic and she could not resist such powerful magic, the body would probably break down.

The little girl had been brooding over this for a while since this and that wouldnt work.

Now,Lizz thought,I can pretend to make some broth and make some potions to increase his magical abilitiesinstead.Thisway, I can make him more powerful without him knowing, and give him different potions at differentstages.Thepotions will make the magic power in his body gather in a nucleus! And then, Ill absorb it! Fufufu, Im so smart!(2)

Lizz was so proud of herself, she couldnt help but smile widely and brightly.

Zhang Shaoyu found the girl, who was suddenly grinning like that slightly creepy, and asked her, Your smile is so creepy. Did you eat something bad? Or is there something youre supposed to take?

Lizz immediatelyrecovered.Sheignored Zhang Shaoyus jabs and asked him instead, Shaoyu, Shaoyu! Do you like broth?

Zhang Shaoyus parents were not around since he was young and he was too lazy to make proper, nutritious broth by himself. He obviously treasured every opportunity he had to partake in it. He answered simply, Of course I do.Otherwise, I wouldnt bring you to eat together with me, right? Though whod have guessed youd dislike it so much.

No! Its not like I dislike broth, I just didnt like that shops! She tugged Shaoyus sleeve. Shaoyu, since you like broth, want me to make you some at home?

Zhang Shaoyu paused for a while, remembering the fresh dinner from last night. He gently said, Lil girl, you dont have to push yourself Let me cook instead! Though, in reality, he just didnt want to be tormented by the girl who could spend six hours cooking and still serve raw food, even if she did use delicious ingredients.

Lizz snorted, before puffing out her small chest and saying proudly, Are you looking down on me?You know, even though youre a better cook than me, Im very confident when making broths. I wont lose to you for this!

The little girls enthusiasm made Shaoyu flustered, despite his feeling of impending doom. After all, why not give the cute girl a chance to proof herself? And, even more importantly, who wouldnt want to eat a girls homemade cooking?(3)

With that thought, Zhang Shaoyu made his decision,Come what may!(4)He nodded and said, Well, okay then, what kind of broth do you want to make? Lets go buy the ingredients.

Lizz grinned widely and said, in all seriousness, I want centipedes, a scorpion tail, frog eggs Shaoyu, Im not done yet, dont back away!

Zhang Shaoyu felt goosebumps all over his body. You sure youre not making rat poison?

Lizz complained in her mind,Oh come on It may sound strange, but those things are rich in magical power.Eating them can lead to longevity!

But then again, Lizz feared that if she said that, Shaoyu wouldnt eat her cooking, so she smiled at him and explained, Of course not~ Im just messing with you! Actually, I want to make unicorns flesh soup.

In the magical world, unicorn was a very high quality material and was liked by everyone, so she thought Shaoyu would definitely love it.

Unexpectedly, Shaoyu looked kindly at her before putting his palm on Lizzs forehead, surprising her a bit. Shaoyu, what are you doing?

He proceeded to put his palm on his own forehead next. Confused, he said, You dont have a fever, so how come youre acting like a fool and spouting such weird things?

At the magical academy, Lizz was often praised by her teachers and was a level above her peers. And now she was being called a fool? Lizz immediately frowned and slapped Shaoyus hand away. Hmph! What are saying, youre the fool!

Shaoyu wrinkled his eyebrows, Oh? You dont say, how about I test your intelligence then?

You want to test me?

Ill just ask a few questions!

Lizz, not wanting to admit defeat, proudly puffed out her small chest and said, Come! Ill show you!

Okay! Zhang Shaoyu held one finger up and asked, What is this?

Lizz immediately answered, One!

Wrong! Its my finger! Zhang Shaoyu smiled proudly. I didnt ask how many fingers I held up,right?

Lizz went a bit red and said slowly, Say that earlier!

Zhang Shaoyu then asked,Then I will ask, why doesnt Beethoven use this finger to play the piano?

Because its wounded! answered Lizz without hesitation.

Wrong! Zhang Shaoyu almost laughed out loud. Because its my finger!

Looking at Zhang Shaoyus proud smile, Lizz retorted, N-Nonsense!

Now listen to the next question!

Fine, next question!

In which state does oil have the longest legs?(5)

Lizz was confused and stared blankly when she heard the question.When does oil have legs? Do I have to ask the great wizard this question? Is he just fooling around?

Seeing Lizzs confusion, Zhang Shaoyu grinned. Three seconds left, three, two, one! The answer is?

Lizz shook her head and pouted. I dont know.

Its fire! Zhang Shaoyu immediately replied.

Do you have any evidence? Lizz asked, unsatisfied.

Zhang Shaoyu smiled widely, Because it is hotter!(6)

Lizz was pissed off again. Are you kidding me?!

Want to try the next question?

Lizz, like a child who wouldnt admit defeat, said, Come on!

And so, they continued with question afterquestion.Bythe time they arrived back home,Zhang Shaoyu had asked more than thirty questions. Zhang Shaoyu couldnt stand up straight as he tried to withhold hislaughter.Inthe end,Lizzwas unable to answer even one question correctly. For her part, Lizz was visibly annoyed, and a bit pissed off too. That didnt count! Ask me another question!

Zhang Shaoyu sat on the sofa and smiled at Lizz. Oh come on, were home already, no more questions Its not like your IQ is going to improve if I ask more questions anyway.

Lizz refused to let it end just like that, sitting beside Zhang Shaoyu and kept proceeded to pull and shake him like a child. No, no, come onShaoyu, ask me more questions, okay! Come on~(7)

Zhang Shaoyu tried to shake her off to no avail.It cant be helped then.He was just about to start asking questions, when suddenly a brilliant idea flashed inside his brain. He smiled mischievously as he said, Okay,okay, I will ask more questions, but I have a condition.

What is it?

I will ask you a question and I will make you say that youre a pig. If I manage to do so, you have to kiss me, hows that?(8)

Lizz laughed inside.Youre so stupid! As if Ill ever say that I was a pig!She answered readily, Well, if I dont say it, you will have to praise me for being a smart girl!

Deal! Zhang Shaoyu relaxed his body and asked, Theres a race between a tortoise and a hare with a pig as the referee. In the end, the turtle and the hare passed the finish line at the same time. Now, who won the race?

Lizz frowned before replying, What kind of silly question is that? Of course its a tie!

Zhang Shaoyu pointed at Lizz while laughing hard. Now, isnt that the same as saying youre the pig?

Lizz froze for a moment before realizing the trick. By saying that the race was a tie, it was also as if she was calling herself the pig.

Zhang Shaoyu pointed at his own face with a proud look. Now, as promised! Come lil piggy, gimme a kiss!(9)

TRANSLATORS NOTES :

1. Suddenly I imagined a loli witch stirring a huge cauldron

3. Depends on whos cooking. I would avoid my GFs

5. The following are word plays impossible to TL to English. Meep. This is my take on it, to be as close as possible while sounding silly.

7. If this scene got illustrated, it would be sooooo cute.

8. Lol. I should try this to my.hmmmImouto? GF?