Margayya said: 'You must never ask "Why" or "Where" when a person is starting out: that'll always have an adverse influence.' He felt he was beginning to talk like the temple priest.

'All right, sir,' the villager said obediently. 'We have to learn all these things from learned people. Otherwise how can we know?'

The wheels crunched, roared, and bumped along. Margayya wondered if he was expected to reach his lotus by walking and not by riding in a cart. Would that in any way affect the issues and would it violate the injunction laid by the priest? 'I don't think there is anything wrong in it. He'd have mentioned it. Anyway, better not raise the question. Perhaps this cart was sent here by God.'

He got off at the crossroads, and waited till the cart disappeared down the road. He turned to his left, and cut across a field. The sun was already tilting westward. He looked up and said: 'Heaven help me if it gets dark before I discover the lotus; I may not be able to know whether it is red or black or what and then it'll be fine, having to start the whole business again tomorrow!' He cut across the field and walked half a mile, and came upon a garden, hedged off with brambles and thorn. His legs ached with this unaccustomed tramping, and his feet smarted with the touch of thorns. He passed through the thicket expecting any minute a cobra to dart across and nip at him: 'This place must be full of them supply the entire district with cobras from here.' There was a small narrow gap in the hedge and he passed through it into a large wood, semi-dark with sky-topping trees mango, margosa, and what not. The place looked wild and deserted and an evening breeze murmured grimly in the boughs above. Down below fallen leaves were ankle deep, and he passed through them with his feet sending out a resounding crick-crick. 'This is just where cobras live under a blanket of dry leaves ' Here flower gardens had gone wild all kinds of creepers, jasmine bushes and nerium growing ten feet high, were intertwined and mixed up. 'Some fool has let all this go to waste,' he reflected. 'In fruit alone one might make ten thousand rupees out of this soil.'

He arrived at the pond. Its greenish water had a layer of moss, occasional ripples were thrown out by warts or some other darting water creature, and mosquito larvae agitated the surface here and there. Margayya felt very lonely. The steps of the pond were broken and slippery; half the bank on his side had fallen into the pond. On the other side there was a small mantap, its walls covered with cobweb and smoke. Three blackened stones in a corner indicated that some wayfarers had sojourned and lighted a fire here, it might be last year or a century ago. In the middle of the pond there were lotus flowers red as the rising sun. They were half closing their petals. 'They know better than we do that it's nearing sunset,' Margayya reflected. He stood on the somewhat slippery step thinking of how to reach the lotus. He'd have to wade through the greenish water. He stood ankle deep in it and wondered if he had better take off his clothes and go in. 'If this dhoti gets dirty, it will not merely be dirty but it'll acquire a permanent green dye, I suppose. And it'll be difficult to go back home wearing it. People might stare and laugh. Better take it off... there's no one about.' He tucked up his dhoti and looked round in order to make sure. 'If a man lives here, he will not need a square inch of cloth,' he reflected. Far in a corner of the little mantap on the other bank he saw someone stirring. He felt a slight shiver of fear passing through him as he peered closer. 'Is it a ghost or a maniac?' He withdrew a couple of steps, and shouted: 'Hey, who are you?' vaguely remembering that if it were a ghost it would run away on hearing such a challenge. But the answer came back. 'I'm Dr Pal, journalist, correspondent and author.' Margayya espied a row of white teeth bared in a grin.

'And what are you doing in this lonely place?'

'Why not?' came back the voice. It was a hard resonant voice, and there was no doubt that it was of this earth.

'Why not what?' asked Margayya.

'Why not here as well as anywhere else?' asked the man, rising and coming out. He was a man of thirty or thereabouts, his face still youthful, with a three-day stubble on his chin; a lank, tall man, with sunken cheeks, and a crop of hair falling on his forehead and nape. He wore a pair of blue shorts and a banian. As he came down the steps Margayya pointed at the lotus and said: 'Get it for me. You are wearing only shorts.' The other nodded, waded through the water and came back with a lotus flower. He gave it to Margayya. Margayya felt overwhelmed with gratitude. 'You are a very good fellow,' he said patronizingly. 'What are you doing here, all alone in this place?'

'Working of course,' the other said.

'Single-handed?'

'Yes, it has to be a single-handed job.' Margayya looked at the wilderness round them and said: 'No wonder the place is as it is too much for one man.' The other laughed and said: 'I have nothing to do with the garden. I'm here because I find it a very quiet place, and there seems to be no one to ask me to get out. Sit down; you will find it a really nice place though it looks such a forest.'

Margayya feebly protested: 'I've got to go before it gets dark.'

'Why?'

'I have a long way to go ... there may be cobras '

'Not one here. Sit down, sit down ' Margayya sat down on the steps. The other sat beside him. A breeze stirred the leaves and sent a few ripplets rolling and striking against the stone steps. Casuarina trees which loomed over the little mantap murmured. Brilliant sun from the west made the entire garden glitter.

Margayya held the lotus delicately by the stalk and looked at it. 'Now and then people come here for lotus,' said the other. Margayya wondered if he was going to ask him to pay for it. He didn't like the idea. Before he should entertain any such notion, just to divert his mind, Margayya asked: 'What is your connection with this place?'

'The same as yours,' he replied promptly. 'As I said, I am here because it doesn't seem to bother anyone. I discovered this by a pure fluke. I'm given to cross-country hikes ... I have to in my profession '

'What is your profession?'

'I'm a journalist. I'm a correspondent for all these districts of a paper called Silver Way published in Madras.'

'Tamil paper?'

'Yes, of course. It is the most widely circulated paper in Tamil, with an enormous circulation in F.M.S., Ceylon, and South Africa. I cover these districts for them, and in my spare time write my own books.'

'Oh, you write books?' Margayya asked, full of wonder.

'Yes, yes, during my spare time so difficult to find the leisure for it as a correspondent. All day I must knock about courts and offices and meetings on my cycle in search of news. I don't get much time. That's why I stay here, where I can work without disturbance.' Margayya was greatly impressed. He had always thought very highly of newspaper people. 'How many books have you written?'

'Four,' came the reply; and he added: 'Three are here,' tapping his forehead. 'Only one has been got down on paper '

'What is it? A story?'

'A story! Oh, no, something more serious than that.'

'Oh!' said Margayya, feeling that he had better not make inquiries in a region where he was a stranger. Books and writing were not for him: he was only a business man. Margayya rose to go.

'It's getting late,' he murmured.

'I will go with you up to the road,' said the other and followed him down to the edge of the pond. Margayya was fascinated by the sight of some more red lotus floating on water, with their petals already closing. He reflected: 'Even if there is a pound of paste to be made, we have enough lotus here provided I can find the grey cow.' His mind started worrying about the next stage of the search. 'Where are grey cows to be seen?' Perhaps this author and journalist by his side might be able to help. They walked down the grassy path in silence for a while. Margayya surprised the other with the sudden inquiry: 'Have you seen a smoke-coloured cow?'

'Where?' the other asked, stopping suddenly.

'Anywhere ... I mean ... do you know where a smoke-coloured cow can be seen?'

'Why?'

Margayya felt embarrassed. He blinked again. 'I want its milk for some special, medicinal purpose.'

'Are you an Ayurvedic doctor or an aphrodisiac-maker?' the other asked, looking at him. 'Trying to make some potent drugs with red lotus and so on. I have seen only Ayurvedic doctors coming here in a search of some herb or leaf or lotus and things like that.' Margayya felt that because he had no ready answer, and no name to give for his avocation in life, the other would give him no useful tip. He covered the entire topic with a loud, prolonged laugh, at the end of which he found the other completing his remark: 'I suppose the milk must always be white, whatever the colour of the cow.'

Margayya agreed with this remark, laughed afresh, and changed the subject immediately. 'What did you say your books were about?'

'Sociology,' said the other.

'Oh! I see,' said Margayya, trying to look clever, though completely bewildered by the term. He felt like asking: 'What is it?' but felt it might be an undignified inquiry. He just nodded his head and remained silent. The other asked: 'You know what sociology is, I suppose?' He was trapping him unnecessarily.

'Of course, in a manner, but you know I'm a business man; we business men have not much time for scholarly activities.'

Dr Pal understood the position and said: 'It's a subject that has been much neglected in our country particularly in our own vernaculars, in our mother-tongue. They've everything in English, but in our mother-tongue no. What should the thousands of persons who know only our language do to learn the subject?'

'Yes, yes, it is very difficult,' Margayya agreed. They had now reached a thatched hut. 'Come in for a moment and see my home and study,' said Dr Pal.

Margayya protested and said something about its being dark.

'I will escort you back safely,' said the other. 'Don't worry ... there are no cobras here.' He pushed the door open. A mat was spread on the ground with a greasy pillow on it, and away from it stood a small tin trunk with a bottle of ink and a stack of paper on it. A very small bedroom lamp was kept on the trunk. Dr Pal pushed away the pillow and said: 'Pray sit down, I have not much furniture to offer this is all. But this is a nice place.'

Margayya sat down carefully holding the lotus so as to protect it from being crushed. The place smelt of straw, which was spread on the floor.

'I do all my writing here. I return here at the end of my day's roving in the town. I sit on this mat all night and write; at dusk I go out to that pond and sit contemplating in the mantap it's a very inspiring place.' Margayya felt impressed and overawed, so he asked, as a piece of courtesy, 'I suppose that is your book. You send it afterwards for printing?'

'Yes, I hope to,' said the other. He picked up the manuscript and handed it to Margayya. Margayya received it with the utmost courtesy. The cover was of brown paper. He turned the last page and saw the number: 'Oh, a hundred and fifty pages?' he asked admiringly.

'Yes, I want it to be a short book, so that any person may buy and read it.' Margayya turned the pages and a chapter-heading caught his eye: 'Philosophy and the Practice of Kissing'.

'Oh! Kissing! You have written about kissing too!'

'Yes, of course, it is an important subject.'

'Who kisses? children or '

'Oh! Children's kisses are of no account here ' Margayya felt interested, and turned to the title of another chapter: 'Basic Principles of Embracing'. He turned over the pages and started reading the first sentence of the opening chapter: 'Man embraces woman, and woman embraces man ' He felt interested. Briskly turning over the leaves, he came upon the title sheet and read out aloud: 'Bed-Life or the Science of Marital Happiness'.

'What is this?' Margayya exclaimed. 'You said it was '

'Sociology. Yes, this is a branch of sociology. I have spent many years studying this subject. A thousand years ago Vatsyayana wrote his Kama-Sutra or "Science of Love." I have based this whole work on it, plus research done by modern scientists like Havelock Ellis and so on. This subject must be understood by every man and woman. If people understood and practised this science there would be more happiness in the world.'

'But it seems to be all about ... about ' Margayya could not find the right word. He felt too shy. He felt eager to read on, but put it away feeling that further inspection would seem indecorous.

'You can read it if you like,' said the other.

Margayya put it away as if avoiding a temptation.

'You will have everything you want in a nutshell there.' It seemed as if the other would not let him go. The author added: 'I want to have a few illustrations if I can find an artist.'

'What those ... illustrating those?' gasped Margayya.

'Yes, why not? I want to illustrate some of the parts. I want it to be of practical benefit ... I want it to serve as a guide book to married couples. My aim is to create happiness in the world.'

'Are you married?' Margayya asked, coming to the point.

'Yes ... otherwise how could I write all that?'

'But ... but ... you are alone ' Margayya said, looking round.

'Yes ... I have to be ' He seemed saddened by some domestic memory. Margayya's curiosity could no longer be kept in check: 'Where is she?' he asked bluntly.

'God knows,' said the other. 'I have had to leave her '

'Why? Why?' Margayya said. 'How sad!' He sat brooding.

The other said: 'She was an impossible woman ... a terrible woman who was unfaithful, and tried to ogle every man who appeared before her. A woman with a polyandrous tendency.' Margayya was somewhat shocked at the free manner in which he spoke. The other laughed and said: 'How scared you look at my talk! Don't fear; I am not yet married. Probably you are already thinking how can this fellow write about the happiness of married life when he himself has been such a failure! Was it not the line of your thought?'

'How did you guess?' Margayya asked. Everyone seemed to guess correctly what went on in his mind a most dangerous state of affairs it seemed to him. 'I never married,' the other assured him again. 'But I only gave you a sample of what is likely to happen when people are ill-matched.'

'True, true,' said Margayya.

'Reading this book will be a way of preventing such tragedies,' said Dr Pal.

The next few days Margayya was lost to the outside world. He sat in the small room repeating: Oh Goddess, who affordest shelter to all the fugitive worlds! ... Thy feet, by themselves, are proficient in affording immunity from fear and bestowing boons.

He had to repeat it a thousand times each day, sitting before the image of the Goddess. He wore a red-silk dhoti and smeared his forehead and body with sacred ash. The cries of the pedlars in the street were submerged in the continuous hum that proceeded from his own throat: his son's continued shout of 'Appa! Appa! was heard by him as a distant muffled sound. A little light came through the small opening of the shutter. The room was filled with the scent of incense, camphor, sandal dust, and jasmine. All this mingled perfume uplifted the heart and thoughts of Margayya. He was filled with a feeling of holiness engendered by the feel of the red silk at his waist. He was gratified at the thought of his wife's obedience. 'She is quite accommodating,' he reflected. She got up at five and prepared the jaggery-sweetened rice which had to be offered to the Goddess. As he sat down with his eyes shut, he said to himself: 'I have achieved difficult things, grey cow's milk butter, red lotus made into black paste ... This time last week I could not believe that I should be able to get together grey milk and red lotus. When the Goddess wants to help a man she sends him where all things are available; and who would have thought that there was a deserted garden '

This brought to his mind Dr Pal and his works ... He felt an unholy thrill at the memory of Pal's book. It seemed as though his mind would not move from the subject. This man wanted to put in pictures what a wicked fellow. It'd be most awkward ... Why was Dr Pal interested in the subject? Must be an awful rake ... if he could write all that and was unmarried.... Some of the chapter-headings came to his mind. He realized with a shock what line his thoughts were pursuing, and he pulled them back to the verse; the priest had told him to let his mind rest fully on its meaning while repeating it. He kept saying: 'Oh Goddess, who affordest...' etc., and unknown to him his thoughts slipped out and romped about chiefly about the fruits of the penance he was undertaking: forty days of this afterwards? He visualized his future. How was wealth going to flow in? When he became rich, suppose he bought from his brother the next house too, tempting him with a handsome cash offer.... He realized that this was his major concern in life. He would be a victorious man if he could bring his brother to his knees and make him part with his portion of the house; and then he would knock down the partition wall.... Each day it took him eight hours of repetition to complete the thousand, and then he reverently put the black paste on his forehead, lit the camphor, called in his wife and child and sprinkled the holy water on them. His jaws ached, his tongue had become dry ... he felt faint with hunger, since he had to fast completely while praying.

He followed this course for forty days. When he emerged from the little room, he had a beard and moustache and hair on his nape. He had been told not to shave in the course of this penance. He looked venerable. His voice became weak; he could not utter any speech without automatically mixing it up with 'Oh, Goddess, who affordest shelter ...' He looked like an examination student who has emerged from the ordeal, sapped in every way but with his face glowing with triumph. Margayya had lost ten pounds in weight: much of the padding on his waist and jowl had gone.

* Saraswathi is the deity presiding over knowledge and enlightenment.

PART TWO.

When he was again seen in the streets, shaven and clean, he looked like a young man. His chin sparkled with the long-delayed shave, and his moustache was trimmed to perfection. He looked so tidy when he went along the street again with his shirt and upper-cloth that people stopped and asked: 'Where have you been all this time, Margayya?' He had no answer. So he said: 'Here. All along. Where should I go?'

'I haven't seen you in your usual place or anywhere.'

'Usual place! Oh, there, you mean! That was only a side business for me, more for my own diversion. I'm busy with other plans,' he said grandly.

About the time he closed his business he had two hundred rupees in hand, out of which the previous month's household expenses took sixty rupees; the forty-day ritual cost him at least two rupees a day for fruit and flowers and special offerings; then he had to have a feast on the last day and feed four brahmins, and give them each a silver rupee on betel leaves after the meal. About a hundred rupees in all were gone. He found himself grudging this expense and explained to himself: 'How can I grudge it! Can't a man spend at least so much for earning the benevolence of a Goddess?' He had a magic syllable carved on leather and tied to his sacred thread. He wished he could know when the beneficial effect would start, when the skies would open and start raining down wealth. He wished he could get an answer to his question.

In his despair he tried to meet the priest. But somehow the priest had not encouraged him to call again. For a day Margayya was seized with the horrible thought that the man had played a practical joke on him. What if he had merely fooled him! Priests were capable of anything. Every word that the priest had uttered seemed to lend support to this suspicion. He had even taken the trouble to avoid him.

Days passed, and his misgivings increased. He seemed to have suddenly lost all plans in life. His purse was getting lighter each day. It was difficult to while away the time. From morning to night he had to think what he should do next. If he stayed at home, it invariably resulted in some clash with his wife, for his son misbehaved so much in his presence that either he or his wife felt impelled to chastize him, and each vehemently protested when the other did it. And then all kinds of controversies started between him and his wife. It was such a strain having always to talk in whispers lest the people next door should overhear. He sat dejectedly facing Goddess Lakshmi and mentally saying to her: 'You have taken my last coin. What have you given me in return? Has the priest been fooling me?' He felt indignant at this thought. 'If he has fooled me! God help him, I'll have my fingers round his throat!'

As he lay across the hall on a towel spread on the floor, his mind was busy with these thoughts. In that small house, it was a bother to have the head of the house all the time lying across the floor. Margayya's wife had quite a number of visitors coming in each day. A brinjal-seller, who brought in her basket, walked across the hall and sat in the backyard veranda to transact her business; the servant-woman who came in to wash the vessels and scrub the backyard an hour a day; a fat lady, wife of a lawyer, who dropped in for a chat in the afternoons; and some school children who came running in during the afternoon recess for a drink of water. When Margayya lay across the hall of his house he obstructed their passage to the rear veranda and kitchen where the lady of the house received them. Every time a visitor arrived Margayya had to scramble to his feet and stand aside to let the visitor pass. They went on and asked Margayya's wife privately: 'Why is your husband not going out?' The lady felt confused and awkward and gave out some reply, but later questioned him: 'What has come over you that you don't go out at all ?'

'Where should I go?'

'Like all the other men, why don't you try to do some work and earn some money?'

'Money is not a pebble in the street to be picked up by just going out.'

'Oh, is that so? I didn't know. I thought it was something to be had in the street.'

Thus their talk went on, entirely lacking in point. She had no clear idea of what she expected him to do and he had no clear idea of what he should do outside the house. He tried it for a few days. His steps naturally led him to the Co-operative Bank. But it was clear that he had lost his place. His previous clients only tried to avoid him, fearing that he might accost them for their old dues. He had no one to talk to. He went through the town like a lost soul, but although to begin with some people spoke to him, now nobody took any notice of him. He could not go down the Market Road for fear of being stopped by the optician ... So after a few days of aimless wandering, he took to staying at home. It delighted only his little son and no one else. Next door they remarked: 'What has come over that man? He is hardly to be seen outside. Is he hiding from creditors?' They had also wondered previously why so much scent of incense emanated from the next house. 'They must be up to some mischief; perhaps trying black magic on someone they don't like. We must be careful with such people.'

As the month came to an end and Margayya had to buy rice and salt for the pantry, he found himself short by ten rupees, and they had to manage without ghee. His wife declared: 'I have never been in this plight before.' Balu made matters worse by asking: 'Mother, I want ghee.'

'There is no ghee, my boy. You must eat your food as it is,' Margayya replied.

'I won't,' said Balu, throwing away the rice and getting up.

'You'll learn to be contented with what you get,' Margayya moralized foolishly.

'No. I won't. I want ghee,' said the boy rebelliously, kicking away his rice plate.

'If you kick away your rice, I will kick you,' Margayya said; at which the boy burst into tears and appealed to his mother. She burst into tears too because it reminded her of the story of Gora Kumbar, a potter, who was devoted to the God Vishnu and took no care of his family. At meal times his little son demanded ghee, without which, just like Balu, he would not eat. The lady went out to borrow ghee from the next house, leaving the child in the care of the father, who was stamping on wet clay all the time. When she was gone, he got into a mystic ecstasy and started dancing, and did not notice the child crawling under his feet ... and when the mother returned with ghee the child had been stamped into the wet mud. Margayya's wife burst into tears, remembering this story, which she had seen as a drama in her young days. Margayya, bewildered and pained by all the scene, ate his food in silence, but, without ghee and with all this misery, it tasted bitter.

He decided to search out the priest. 'I can't keep quiet any more. He will have to tell me what is what otherwise, I will not let him off lightly.'

Margayya sought him out late that night. He pretended to go to the temple very late in the evening for worship, and hung about till the crowd cleared. He heard the priest's voice inside the sanctum. When the crowd dispersed he moved up to the threshold of the sanctum and peered in. There was a new man there.

Margayya asked: 'Where is he?'