_Friend._ "Clever as a man? Clever as a woman more like it! Seen her play some fine old games with two or three fellows, I can tell you!"

[Ill.u.s.tration: NUNC AUT NUNQUAM

_Voice from bottom of ditch._ "Hold hard a minute! My money has slipped out of my pockets, and it's all down here somewhere!"]

[Ill.u.s.tration: A REFORMED CHARACTER

_John._ "Goin' to give up 'untin'! Deary! deary! An' 'ow's that, missie?"

_Little Miss Di._ "Well, you see, John, I find my cousin Charlie, who is going to be a curate, does not approve of hunting women, so I intend to be a district visitor instead!"]

[Ill.u.s.tration: MOTTOES; OR, "WHO'S WHO?"

Mrs. Prettyphat. Family Motto--"_Medici jussu_."]

SOMETHING LIKE A CHARACTER

_Huntsman_ (_on being introduced to future wife of M.F.H._). "Proud to make your acquaintance, miss! Known the Capting, miss, for nigh on ten seasons, and never saw 'im turn 'is 'ead from hanything as was jumpable!

Knows a 'oss and knows a 'ound! Can ride one and 'unt t'other; and if that ain't as much as can be looked for in a 'usband, miss, why, I'll be jiggered!"

A LIBERAL ALLOWANCE

_Huntsman_ (_who has just drawn Mr. Van Wyck's coverts blank_). "Rather short of cubs, I'm afraid, sir!"

_Mr. Van Wyck_ (_who has very recently acquired his country seat_). "Most extraordinary! Can't understand it at all! Why, I told my keeper to order a dozen only last week!"

[Ill.u.s.tration: STORIES WITHOUT WORDS

How "the second horseman" went home.]

[Ill.u.s.tration: Scene--_As above._ Time--_Mid-day._ Sport--_None up to now._

_Stout Party_ (_about to leave_). "Most extr'ordinary thing. Whenever I go home, they always have a rattling good run."

_Candid Friend._ "Then, for goodness' sake, _go home at once!_"]

[Ill.u.s.tration: MOST EXTRAORDINARY

_Dismounted Sportsman._ "Now, how the deuce did my hat manage to get up there?"]

STRAIGHT

_Huntsman_ (_to Boy, who is riding his second horse_). "Hi, there! What the doose are yer doin' of with that second 'oss?"

_Boy_ (_Irish, and only just come to the Hunt stables from a Racing Establishment_). "Arrah thin, if oi roides oi roides to win! and divil a second is he goin' to be at all, at all!!"

FORBEARANCE

_Member of Hunt_ (_to Farmer_). "I wouldn't ride over those seeds if I were you. They belong to a disagreeable sort of fellow, who might make a fuss about it."

_Farmer._ "Well, sir, as him's me, he won't say nothing about it to-day."

[Ill.u.s.tration: (_Extract from a letter received by Mr. Shootall on the morning when hounds were expected to draw his covers_)

_Leadenhall Market, Thursday._

Sir,--Your esteemed order to hand. We regret that we are quite out of foxes at present; but, as you mentioned they were for children's pets, we thought guinea pigs might do instead, so are sending half a dozen to-day. Hoping, &c., &c.]

TOO MUCH

(_Pity the Sorrows of a poor Hunting Man!_)

_Sportsman_ (_suffering from intense aberration of mind in consequence of the weather, in reply to wife of his bosom_). "Put out? Why, o' course I'm put out. Been just through the village, and hang me if at least half a dozen fools haven't told me that it's nice seasonable weather!"

AT THE HUNT BALL

_Mr. Hardhit._ "Don't you think, Miss Highflier, that men look much better in pink--less like waiters?"

_Miss Highflier._ "Yes, but more like ringmasters--eh?"

[_Hardhit isn't a bit offended, but seizes the opportunity._