12.2 A Doll’s Wish

「…. of course, I don’t mind」(Kajima)

Her demeanor felt like she was lost, I knit my brows in amazement.  In the first place, it’s rare for Rose to state her opinion without me asking for it.

Actually, this is the first time. If you take such an att.i.tude, you’ll look suspicious.

Well, there is nothing to be done until I hear what she has to say.

「What do you want to talk about.」(Kajima)

As I urge her, Rose asks while hesitating.

「I would like make a suggestion.」(Rose)

Suggestion?  I slightly tilted my head. 　

……I wonder if it will be about the soldiers we just examined?

However, it would’ve been alright if she asked about it earlier.　

If not that, then what is it…,…? 　

Rose clenched her fist and raised her head. She appears to have come to a decision

「It’s not really a suggestion, It’s about what kato-san asked about earlier.」(Rose)

「…… What?」(Kajima)

「About her handling magic, will you let me be the one to teach her?」(Rose)

 Rose brought her fingers together and touched the normal white-tinged mannequin-esque-feeling breast parts that were remade due to the damage received from the battle with the white arachnid.

「If it is only teaching her to grasp the sense of magic, I should be able to help her with at least that.」(Rose)

　For this first step it is true that the teacher doesn’t have to know how to use magic. 　

 For that role, Rose would be sufficient.

 Her suggestion hit the mark.

「When I make magic tools, naturally I can sense magic. While I’m working I’ll be able to teach Kato how to feel magic.」(Rose)

「It won’t hinder your work?」(Kajima)

「Of course not.」(Rose)

I only needed to confirm this point.　

I don’t think Rose will abandon her work.

She is far too faithful to the task that’s been given her.  

That’s why I’m surprised she is willing to take up the additional task of teaching Kato-san.

「At first I will be teaching her, but later on I plan to have Lily-anesama properly do the other stuff, is what I was thinking. At that time Master’s training should advance, even without Lily-anesama’s help.」　

……not bad.

That was my honest impression of Roses suggestion.

 Her proposal had neatly countered all the disadvantages that had arisen with teaching Kato. Also as her benefactor I had feeling of wanting to fulfil her demand. This is what i honestly felt.

「…..」(Kajima)

　But while I was thinking, I started to hesitate about giving my consent.

– I wonder, is it really okay?

Such a thought dawned upon me, it made me hesitate on my decision.

In theory, it should be ok. If, it was just recovery magic she was learning. Recovery magic couldn’t hurt anything.

I’m not giving her a weapon, therefore there’s no reason for me to object.

I think it’s alright as long as her goal is only to learn recovery magic.

It’s as if …… she has read my mind.

In fact, considering the character of Kato, She may have planned to make her request after ascertaining my reaction.

She limited herself to recovery magic because she knew I had my doubts about her.

That means she properly understood the doubts I have about her.

The person herself realizes her ungrateful manner, becoming bashful… A doubt began to form inside me. 　

No matter what, I can’t completely trust Kato-san because she is human.  

It must be unpleasant for her.

Yet she risked her life to help me.

Now to help us out even more she wants to learn recovery magic.

　　……why?

　why, does she do so much for us.　

I don’t know what Kato-san is thinking at all.

　- Because it is lonely in this world?

　- Because there is no one else to rely on?

Before, I tried to guess what she was thinking inside.

I don’t actually think it would be that easy to boil it down.　

I don’t think I can rationalize what she is thinking from only her att.i.tude.

For example, Lily told me, “Just having enough power is fine“.

Even for the girls, my family, I would say 『Even if you are useless I won’t abandon you』.

The existence of each other is special for us, it’s something that is irreplaceable.

That’s why even if you are useless you aren’t a bother, if you don’t rely on us when you are in pain, that would make us suffer even more.

But Kato is different from Lily.

She isn’t my family and I’m not her master.

That means I’m not a special existence to her.

I’m merely someone that’s protecting her because of a coincidental  meeting in the log hut.

It’s only natural.

But still, Kato-san without seeking rewards, who could be said to be  just another person, risked her life to save me.

It shouldn’t be like that.

Rather if it was like that, more than the monsters like Lily, she lacks something as a human being.

If my thoughts are correct she must have some sort of ulterior motive.

It’s not clear to me. I don’t understand the way she thinks.

Even if she is plotting something I won’t be able to guess what it is.

Ah, s.h.i.+t!

(E. my favorite MTL was “…… Yes. Feces.”)

Well, this isn’t good.

When I ask myself “what are you thinking.”

I only have the doubt,”is she plotting something?”　

This is already like a sickness for me.

Rather than a sickness it’s more like a mental disorder.

(TL Shura: You just realised!?)

(TL Earwig: he is so dense in so many ways…)

I recognize the fact that I’ve fallen into paranoia.

Thanks to Gerbera I’m able to recognize the morbid part in me.

I recognize that thinking too deep into this is terrible.

However, even though I understand it, that doesn’t mean I can stop it.

That’s why it’s a illness.

「Master」(Rose)

In that moment.

When I was deep in thought and completely still, the voice of a woman with a slightly lower voice called me.

It was the familiar voice of Rose.

Once I realized that, my consciousness was pulled out from that train of  thought.

I raise my eyes that had been staring at the ground.

Then I involuntarily widen my eyes.

That’s because I see Rose with her head lowered.

「Please Master?」 said Rose as she bows her head.

「Please I want to help her with her wish Master.」(Rose)

「….」(Kajima)

I was stunned.　

I never expected Rose to say these things.

I can’t figure out how I should act.

「….」(Kajima)

As a result I remained silent.

Rose, misunderstanding, lowered her head even more.

「I understand I am being presumptuous. It’s reasonable that you are angry. I will respectfully receive the scolding. However, however, please…」(Rose)

「W-Wait a second I’m not actually angry.」(Kajima)

I hurry and deny Rose’s hasty conclusion.

It’d be impossible for me to be mad.

I couldn’t get angry at her for something like this.

That’s right, that couldn’t possibly be it.

Because, this is something I wanted as well.

When I still couldn’t talk to Rose I thought “what does she want? What does she wish of me? I want to hear it from her.” is what I had wished for.

But for her first desire to be “I wish to grant Kato-san’s wish.” I wasn’t expecting this, but that doesn’t change the fact that I should be happy about it.

「For Rose to have an opinion and state her desire. For me, this is a really wonderful thing.」(Kajima)

This is how I really felt. But on the other hand.

I had asked her.

「If you do not mind, will you tell me?」(Kajima)

「Why are willing to go so far as to bow your head for Kato-san?」(Kajima)

Something I didn’t know about had changed Rose.

I naturally wanted to find out what it was.

「That is…」(Rose)

Rose fumbled for the right word.

Even though it’s me I couldn’t stop thinking of her Doll heart to be an inorganic substance.

Ah, but there is no mistake I had such thoughts.

Her shyness gave her the appearance of a teenage girl.

But also, that might have been the reason. (TL E: Because she is a teenager)

「That’s because she’s my friend, Master.」(Rose)

Rose clenches her fist to her chest and answers my question.

The answer she gave me put a mysterious thump in my chest.

「A friend?」(Kajima)

I recalled the figures of  Rose and Kato-san getting along well.

I just realized they had been talking like two good friends.

That could explain the change in Rose.

A Person can be changed for better or worse depending on their friends.

Even if that person is a doll.

This is only the tip of the iceberg in the ways that Rose will change, who has come to express her opinions and desires.

As I look at Rose, Kato-san’s existence is a good influence on her growth. It seems at the very least Kato-san is a good friend for Rose.

「I understand.」(Kajima)

It felt like my previous dark thoughts never happened and I could talk now.

「Rose, you can teach Kato-san the basics of magic manipulation.」(Kajima)

「Is that ok?」(Rose)

「yes.」(Kajima)

Rose can’t seem to hide her surprise as she asks that.

I nod in reply.

While doing that she grabbed my hand that became quite sweaty.

….I could still remember that as the colony collapsed, the ugly smiles of the cla.s.smates that beat me.

The me right now doesn’t seem to be able to get over the dark memories that haunt me.

Though it’s pathetic, I understand it well.

Because I’m a human I can only be this strong.

That’s why the fact that I don’t trust Kato-san, because she’s a human, wouldn’t change.

but….

「 I believe in Rose. With you nothing bad will happen.」(Kajima)

Rose probably didn’t understand my real meaning.

She probably thought that if she taught Kato-san that it would all go smoothly.

But that’s ok.

The words I said to her didn’t really convey my intentions.

I could only surrender to the meaning of my own words.

If its Rose, I can believe in her.

Kato-san is her friend.

She is saying that she wants to help her first friend.

It’s not only that.

As for me, Kato-san is Rose’s precious friend.

Isn’t it natural to accommodate her?

「I’ll leave Kato-san to Rose. Is that alright?」(Kajima)

This is the best I could do as repayment to Kato-san, I had to do my best to reason about it.

「…」(Rose)

I could tell that my dark thoughts had stopped.

I slowly breathe out.

Rose bowed her head again.

「Thank you master.」(Rose)

「Don’t worry about it, I should be the one thanking you.」(Kajima)

Because she didn’t understand what I meant, Rose looked up at me curiously.

「I’m sorry master, But what does that exactly mean?」(Rose)

「If you don’t understand, that’s fine.」(Kajima)

I lightly replied to her while chuckling. We need to call Lily to get help digging holes.

Rose followed behind me.

「….Oh, right.」(Kajima)

After going a few steps, I stop and look back over my shoulder.

「Well that’s what Kato-san wanted, but is there anything that Rose wants for herself?」(Kajima)

Even If I thank Rose, she won’t understand what I’m thanking her for.

Then let’s repay her for unknowingly helping me, by doing her a favor. That’s what I was thinking at least.

「You’re doing really well. Is there something I can get you.」(Kajima)

「Something else…?」(Rose)

「That’s what I’m saying, you don’t have to hold back. Please think of something for yourself.」(Kajima)

I asked her again.  I’m half expecting her to decline anything.

Rose was still holding herself back, even though I showed the intention of following through with my words. She answered while I was pondering my own words.

「Then…. Only one thing.」(Rose)

She seems out of her element. In contrast from just before she’s completely different. if it’s for herself, she becomes very nervous.

「I don’t mind if it’s just a few days, please give me time to make things other than weapons.」(Rose)

「”Give me some free time” is it?」(Kajima)

When I think about it, I’ve been having her work night and day since we met. Compared to the other members, Lily is able to find time to be intimate with me and enjoys spending time with Gerbera.  

Rose doesn’t seem to be able to relax much.

This was an oversight of mine.

Rose probably needs time for herself as well.

Fortunately we aren’t in an urgent situation.

Also, if we ma.s.s produce armaments now our luggage will become bulky and slow us down.

We don’t really have that  much room, so there’s no point in producing too many.

Though ‘someone who makes stuff even when they are free’ seems to describe Rose.

「I don’t mind, do what you want.」(Kajima)

「T-Thank you.」(Rose)

Though she is an expressionless doll, when I show my approval she seems happy.

While I was trying to say these things casually I was happy with her reaction.

「Anyways, what are you going to make?」(Kajima)

「T-That is…」(Rose)

「Yes?」(Kajima)

I wonder.

Rose’s body seems to have stiffened because of my question.

I don’t understand why my question would upset her.

「For that… well….. something kawaii?」(Rose)-TL kirby: FK UR ENGLISH, ITS KAWAII. TL SHURA: KAWAII? YOU’RE THE KAWAII, YOU’RE ENTIRE d.a.m.n FAMILY IS KAWAII. (IN CASE SOMEONE READING THIS DOESN’T KNOW KAWAII=CUTE)

(TL E: I really don’t understand you two sometimes)

「What is it, that kawaii thing?」(Kajima)

I didn’t understand what Rose was trying to say.

Perhaps she is embarra.s.sed?

If that’s the case, I found out something that rose is trying to make was embarra.s.sing for her. The hint was that it is a『kawaii thing』

「Even a pretty doll will do?」(Kajima)

「Yes. That’s right.」(Rose)

I was saying it only as a joke, but she quickly responded positively to it.

This is surprising.

The Rose tonight never ceases to amaze me.

But I’m happy because it was a good surprise.

I seem to have come to know a new side to Rose. This has made me happy.

「Even rose is a girl huh」(Kajima)

「Ah, hai. Um, more or less.」(Rose)

Rose is behaving unusually suspicious.

She doesn’t seem to be shy anymore.

But she doesn’t seem to be her normal honest self either.

But this kind or Rose isn’t bad, I guess.

Though if she really is shy, it would be bad to drag this topic out.

Thinking on that, I decided to end this topic.

But I added one last thing.

「Show me when it’s done.」(Kajima)

I was interested in what Rose wanted to make.

「Wah, yes. I understand. When I finish I’ll let you see.」(Rose)

「I look forward to it.」(Kajima) I reply with a smile and start walking again.

Only to walk a few steps and stop.

After a little more time I ponder over the conversation.