"He's nowhere to be found." A tear escaped her eyes. Her smile grew bigger with nostalgia. "He promised me that he would improve himself so that he wouldn't stay as an archer forever, but you know what, he doesn't have to. I like him the way he is. Was. Used to be."
"Jinxu." He breathed.
"Perhaps I lost him over the years?"
"I'm still here." He rea.s.sured. He gave her arm a soft squeeze.
"Or maybe I fell from the usual glory that my archer towered above me. And perhaps he turned into a knight on a st.u.r.dy white horse and looked down on the fallen commanding general and treated her like a damsel-in-distress."
"d.a.m.n it." She pursed her lips.
"I'm not a damsel in distress! I can do everything on my own!"
"Sure you could." Chen Linyun agreed. He rubbed her back soothingly.
"I hate to be taken for granted."
"No one is taking you for granted." He reb.u.t.ted comfortingly and patiently.
"My archer responsibly stepped up and took the lead. He just marched on uncaringly, and he's been successful too."
"But the good old commanding general was left behind, forgotten."
She sighed as two more pearl-sized tears escaped her eyes.
"Hush, hush, love. It's just the pregnancy. You said so yourself." Chen Linyun planted a kiss on her forehead. His fingers played with her silky locks that fell from her ponytail.
She rubbed her growing belly mildly with her other clean hand, with utmost care.
"I hope so." Xue Jinxu smiled genuinely. Her lovely dimple on her left cheek peeping. "I love you so much, Chen Linyun, that it hurts. I can set aside everything for you. But you don't seem to exert the same level of effort you used to."
"You don't even talk to me anymore. I cease to know what is happening with you. It's like I'm left in the shadows, waiting for sc.r.a.ps of information you decide to share with me."
"...Yet you open up to other people." A few more tears escaped her eyes. "It's more acceptable if you're consistently the same with everyone else, but it isn't the case. You are deliberately ignoring me."
"I'm sorry." The man felt so small. He did not realize that it was how it appeared to Xue Jinxu, his wife. It must have been glaring, but he failed to see it with his blurred vision and diverted focus.
"What can your sorry do?" Xue Jinxu retorted. She harrumphed. "What should we do?"
"Does that mean you have decided already? I'd like to take those papers back." The man was full of anguish. "I shouldn't have sent those papers out."
Xue Jinxu shook her head and smiled a sad smile.
"Can you let it slip, just this once?" Chen Linyun did not know what to do. He pulled his hair out of vexation and desperation. A simple mistake transformed into a point of no return.
"Don't tell me you did not expect it? You sent it therefore you're asking for it."
Chen Linyun dropped on his knees. His anguished face was so red that it looked like a ripened tomato.
'Tomato-face.' Xue Jinxu clenched her fists. Her heart ached at the sight. Some things never change. 'Breathe in, breathe out. Relax.' She told herself internally.
The man kowtowed nonstop. "Xue Jinxu, I'm begging you! I'm begging you! Let it slip this once! I will do better!"
"Better? How?" Xue Jinxu raised an eyebrow.
"I will do what you want."
"Really?"
"Really."
"And what do I want?"
"Uhmmm… Uhhh…" Chen Linyun frantically scanned his head for any ideas. 'What does she want? What is it? Come on! Come on!'
'I cannot lose her right now! Think!"
'I thought she wouldn't be able to accept me but I was wrong!'
'I cannot lose her this way! No, no, no. This is wrong.'
'It's my fault'.'
Terror and panic were written all over his face.
"You don't know?" Xue Jinxu grew so much more impatient. She checked on her nails repeatedly, her face s.h.i.+fted to neutral.
"Uhhhh…" Chen Linyun pulled his hair out of vexation. 'Think, brain, think!'
"Huh!" Xue Jinxu rolled her eyes in dismay. "Why don't you ask me? Why don't you voice out what runs inside your head?"
Chen Linyun stopped all his movements at once. "Ask? You?"
"Mhm-mhm." Xue Jinxu nodded her head. "When you don't know something, you ask. Isn't that how things work?"
"How would you know if you don't ask?" She's still inspecting her nails closely.
Chen Linyun gaped at the wife. He's sharp and smart so he could tell what this is going. The wife was teaching him how to deal with her.
His face brightened up. "What's with the nails?"
Xue Jinxu looked up from her nails. "Huh?" This time, she was taken by surprise.
Grasping what he meant, she smiled. "Ahh, this? I think I chipped my nail. Look."
She extended her hand, emphasizing the nail on her ring finger on her left hand. Chen Linyun grabbed onto the hand and seated himself beside her. Then he kissed the back of her hand. Afterward, he scrutinized that part where she pointed out.
"I am sorry, my Jinxu." He whispered sincerely against her ear. Then he added, "Do you want me to do your nails? How about I pamper you with some face masks."
"Cuc.u.mber face masks?" She acted surprised and covered her gaping mouth with both hands playfully. "Oh my, oh my! That would be wonderful!"
"Guangxi will get envious when he hears of it, for sure!"
"How about I bake you my heavenly cookies? You like that, don't you?"
"h.e.l.l yes, it's so delicious that it's enough to open up a bakehouse. What do you think, let's open a bakeshop!"
"Is that what you want, darling?" Chen Linyun squeezed his way to get closer to the wife and sneaked a peck on her flushed pinkish cheek.
She giggled indulgingly and shamelessly. "This is what I want."