And then the door of the secret room opened.
"Chen Linyun."
"What are you doing here?" The man retorted with a voice slightly annoyed.
"So you've been staying here. Figures. I think your man-cave serves its purpose the most now. Don't you have any plans of going home?" Xue Jinxu started the conversation.
"It seems that you don't miss me that much, not as much as I miss you. I did not expect that. How touching." Xue Jinxu continued her verbal attack sarcastically. "Does my pregnancy bother you?"
Weeks ago, Chen Linyun would only satisfy himself with getting to work early and going home late. He did this to define the distance between him and the people in his household. However, a few days past, he had not been going home.
At first, Xue Jinxu thought that Chen Linyun distanced himself from Kang Sola ONLY, but it turned out that he was doing the same with her, and everyone else.
She's gotten extremely worried, but Chen Linyun wasn't ready to share his thoughts and everything behind his peculiar behavior with her, or anyone trustworthy around them. He did not even confide nor even reach out to Mo Wenbin, his best buddy and most trusted ally.
So for weeks, Xue Jinxu could not do anything but wait at home until her dearest husband would decide to open himself up.
However, any signs of it happening were kind of… slim. Even going home to her became less and less frequent.
Therefore, she decided to be proactive and meet Chen Linyun in the middle.
She marched ahead, baby b.u.mp already showing, onto Chen Holdings, straight to his special man-cave, his hideout.
There, she finally found him and planned to confront him.
"Does my pregnancy bother you that much?" Xue Jinxu repeated the question coolly as if she's just asking about the weather outside.
Deep inside, she was afraid to hear his answer, afraid that it would shatter her happy s.p.a.ce. Her pregnancy was not easy, yet still bearable and not complicated - thank heavens - and it was what fuels her to go on living and dreaming a bright, optimistic future with her husband.
If Chen Linyun would answer yes, then what would it mean?
But Chen Linyun did not answer at all. He did not even match the gaze that his wife had been throwing his way.
He remained aloof, cold and distant. He did not welcome his wife with a hug or a kiss. Xue Jinxu was slightly hurt by this, but she decided to stay strong as iron.
"Honey? Love?" Xue Jinxu transformed her voice into something softer. "What's bothering you? Hmm?"
She approached him and gently rubbed his arm with her right palm amorously.
Chen Linyun flinched. Xue Jinxu felt extremely slighted by his gesture as if a knife hurriedly pa.s.sed through her skin slicing its thin outer layer in the process. She retrieved her hand away.
She inhaled sharply. Xue Jinxu was starting to lose her cool. She ma.s.saged that portion between her brows which formed a tight knot and smoothed it out with her index finger. One hand supported her baby b.u.mp on the hips.
She took several deep breaths.
What would you do to someone who doesn't want to speak to you? How would you coax that person? The milder approach did not seem to work.
'At least he did not lie and tell me that it's nothing. It's not 'nothing', it's far from it!' What is it?'
She's getting rather frustrated.
"CHEN LINYUN!!!!!" She screamed at the top of her lungs. Her face turned raging red from the force. One hand automatically supported the bottom of her baby b.u.mp while the other hand remained at her hips.
"MAYBE YOU ARE FORGETTING, I AM YOUR WIFE!!!" She paused and panted heavily. "d.a.m.n it! Let me inside your head! I want to know what's happening to you!"
"WHY ARE YOU IGNORING ME DELIBERATELY?"
For the first time since she arrived there, Chen Linyun looked at her. She caught the deep-rooted pain in his eyes, and her heart was pierced by the sight. She had not noticed before, but her husband had lost weight, and there were significant eyebags under his eyes. His face had become hollow and rueful and sickly pale.
At that instance, she rushed onto his side. It did not matter if he would shun her away. She cradled his head on her two hands. "Honey, have you been eating well? Sleeping well? Are you sick? Look at you! Have you checked yourself in the mirror?"
Chen Linyun responded with a curt, "No." and then he tried to remove Xue Jinxu's hands on his face, but she resisted. He tore his gaze from her instead.
Xue Jinxu retorted with the same, "No." implying that he should not push her away. "Look at me. Love, no matter what it is, we're in it together, alright? Share it with me, and I will hold your hand and support you no matter what. I promise I will hold your hand tight. We'll get through it together."
"No, we're not. You cannot. Just focus on your pregnancy."
"ARE YOU LOOKING DOWN ON ME?" Xue Jinxu exploded. "Hey, I'm just pregnant, but I'm not an imbecile. And, last time I checked, I'm still your wife. I'm your life partner. You can share everything with me! Chen Linyun!! What's going on with you?"
"Jinxu, it's not about pride. It's not about who's looking down on who. I didn't mean it that way. But, respect me if I don't want to tell you right now. If you knew, you would hate me for life. I don't want to lose you. I love you so much, but at an instant I beome so worthless."
"Honey?"
Chen Linyun dove his head onto Xue Jinxu's shoulder. "You know how hard I tried to make myself worthy of you. I did my best in every aspect - prepared myself in the five years I was looking for you so that when we meet again I could introduce myself with confidence."
"I built my company and my career in the attempt to stand by your side and again, be worthy of you, to be with you."
"And I did."
"But now…"
"I am not worthy anymore. I have lost my leverage. I have lost my face, I cannot face you confidently and say, hey, we're a match made in heaven."
Xue Jinxu's shoulders got drenched from his weeping. She could feel his distress, but she could not deduce from his statements what went wrong. In her eyes, everything was still the same. 'What changed?'
"If I tell you, you would be asking for a divorce. I am so sure of it. So let me be selfish for a few more months and keep it. That's' all I'm asking of you. Once you give birth to our child, I will tell you, and perhaps, set you free if you decide to… leave me…"
"WHAT?" Xue Jinxu felt she could be deranged at any moment. How did his monologue turn to that direction?
In Chen Linyun's mind, he added, 'I am not even sure if you would come to hate our child as well if you know the truth.'