They went ahead with their plan for the day without revisiting the topic.  They indulged in the pleasures of a shopping spree - a wish that the wife divulged during one of the pa.s.sionate nights they shared.

Hand-in-hand, they traversed the enchanting streets until they reached the goods stores.  They entered a shop called Memorias which housed antique finds.  They ended up not buying anything there, but their eyes were filled with the sight.  They entered other shops as well and were able to find gifts for the people back home.

When their stomachs complained, they spent some time to fill it again in paladares or several privately owned restaurants with big food serving to-share.  Afterward, they went back to shopping.

Even if they were all smiles with each other, subconsciously, the two had become a lot quieter in company.  The incident earlier in front of the casa particulares left traces of uneasiness to the couple. 

Xue Jinxu found herself torn by wanting and not wanting to know.  She was bugged by it constantly, yet she feared its consequences too.

Her silence was felt by the husband who had been experiencing his own guilt attack and was also torn if he should just spill the beans and care for the consequences later, or maintain the prudence until a much better timing.

Alas, the day ended, just like any other day in Havana. 

They lied on their backs beside each other in their rented room, faced the ceiling, as they were both lost in thought.

"Honey -"

"Love -"

They spoke in unison.

"You go first."

"Mhmm?"

The two retorted in synchrony.

The other laughed while the other chose to be silent.

Xue Jinxu pulled the blankets up to her neck.  She also did the same for Chen Linyun beside her.  "I just want you to know that I'm deeply bothered that you are keeping secrets from me.  But, I appreciate it that you also think of my welfare before you divulge anything to me.  Yet… I am still unsure…"

She trailed off, not knowing how to continue.  She had not come to resolve yet whether or not she wanted to know her husband's secrets.

"You were saying?" Xue Jinxu turned to face Chen Linyun.  She placed a hand on his cheek and used her thumb to caress it.

"Nothing." His lips broke into a smile.  "I was just worried.  I am also not very comfortable keeping secrets from you.  I feel that I somehow need to circ.u.mvent your watchful eyes as if I'm doing something intolerable."

"Are you not?"

"Of course not!" Chen Linyun strongly protested.

"Then, I will be patient until you think I'm ready for it."

They enveloped themselves in each other's embrace until they both succ.u.mbed to deep sleep.

In the middle of the night, though, perhaps because of the movement, Xue Jinxu had woken up abruptly, sleep still prevalent in her features.  She groggily focused her attention to Chen Linyun who was thras.h.i.+ng as beads of sweat populated on his forehead.  His lips were chapped so horribly and his face paled.

"Love… Linyun…" The wife tried to wake him up by gently shaking him.  She propped her left elbow on the bed for support.

"Uhggnn…" Was Chen Linyun's response to the wife.

"Honey…" Anxiety ruled over Xue Jinxu as she tried to sooth the husband through rubbing her palms on his arms and shoulders.  "It's just a nightmare… Wake up." She gently tapped his cheek too.

"Xiao Zhizhi… Honey, I'm sorry…" Chen Linyun murmured in his perturbed slumber.

Chen Linyun was crying in his sleep.  His face showed that of a tormented soul as two pearl-sized tears escaped his closed eyes and ran down his temples.

"???!!!"

Xue Jinxu's initial reaction was of bewilderment.  'Xiao Zhizhi? Who's that?'

Xue Jinxu threw herself back onto the bed and lied on her back.  She stared up into the ceiling, deeper anxiety seeping into her system.  She pulled the blanket up to her neck.

After the sudden emotional fit, Chen Linyun slept like a log, but Xue Jinxu could not return to slumber.

There was deep pinching pain inside her chest that kept her from feeling at ease, added to the wild thoughts that had been voluntarily running on her mind.

'Is there somebody else besides me?'

She turned her head sideways and gazed intently on her husband's visage.  'Is that the secret?'

She clutched her chest with her right hand as she kept her gaze on him.  'I can never be ready for something like this.'

'I thought we were deeply in love with each other.  Am I wrong?  Did I perceive incorrectly?'

The next day, and in the succeeding days, Xue Jinxu grew even more silent, submerged in sadness despite the romantic, festive atmosphere.

Of course, Chen Linyun noticed, and tried to ask her what's wrong, which she constantly shrugged off.  She was not ready to hear the answers.  She wanted to hold on to whatever wonderful they shared as husband and wife.

She did not want to think badly of her husband, but she could not remove the throbbing hurt in her chest, either.

Aside from the pain, Xue Jinxu was also engulfed with fear - a fear of a probable future without her husband, or a future where the husband chose another besides her.

He promised her that he would stay by her side and never leave her again, but as much as she loved him, and wanted to hold on to him if he wasn't as happy with her as before, the thought of letting him go danced at the periphery inside her mind.  She s.h.i.+vered as she thought about it.

'Maybe that's the secret he's been meaning to tell me, but he simply could not because I'm too attached to him.'

"Chen Linyun, love, I'm ready for that secret.  Tell me." Although scared of the truth, she would have to face it head-on if she wanted to end her misery.  As they say, the truth will set you free.

Upon hearing this, Chen Linyun squinted his eyes as the ominous wind blew past them.  It was around sunset, and just like any other day, they watched the sun gradually hide into rest in the west, as the blue sky turned orange then pink then purple, and finally, the old companion of weary souls - the night had come to replace the vibrancy of the day.

"Alright, Jinxu.  I don't think it would help to prolong it either.  Let's go."