Doing as I'd been told, I shimmied across the cotton sheets, making a spot for him on the bed. He climbed in, held his arm up for me to nestle against his side, and rested his other hand across his chest. Then he sighed deeply, letting out a breath before pulling me against him.

Making small circles across his skin, I watched my fingers as they moved. Within minutes, his breathing deepened and his body filled with tiny twitches. As I began to drift off, my body felt light and my mind began to clear.

But just as I felt the blackness taking me, I heard him whisper, "Izzy."

I sucked in a breath, feeling like someone had punched me in the gut. I was lying in his arms, I'd just had s.e.x with him, and I'd vowed to be his alibi, but he'd just said the name of another woman.

It wasn't my place to ask questions, but that s.h.i.t hurt. My nose tingled as water began to fill my eyes. Unable to see clearly, I blinked, letting the tears stream down my cheek and fall onto his chest.

I cried myself to sleep as exhaustion and tears carried me off to my dreams. Someplace where mine was the only name he called out and he only belonged to me.

Chapter 7.

Watching over my shoulder and studying every member in the club had become exhausting. It wasn't that I hadn't kept my eyes peeled before, but now that Rebel was dead and he'd found out my real ident.i.ty, the need to be extra cautious and mindful of those around me had increased.

It had been two months since Rebel died, and for sixty grueling days I'd waited to be exposed. The plan with the Vipers moved forward even in Rebel's absence, causing the list of charges to grow.

Rebel's disappearance had people on pins and needles. His car was still safely tucked away in my storage unit, and his remains had yet to be discovered. Wild accusations had flown around the clubhouse for weeks. Cowboy had become the new president, calling the shots in place of Rebel. The mysterious disappearance had been pinned on a rival club, the Death Angels. They'd started some s.h.i.t in Daytona and were the obvious scapegoat. All members of that club had been executed during a late-night raid on their compound. There was no one left in that club to deny the murder of Rebel.

After things died down, the death of Rebel behind us and a new president at the helm, James and I finally had time to talk face to face. There was no way in h.e.l.l that the conversation would be pretty. I didn't have all the facts, but I was pretty sure he was f.u.c.kin' my sister. I considered him my best friend, my lifeline to the real world away from this club. He was the man who kept me grounded and focused even when I thought of giving up.

Our friendship had blossomed over drinks while in training-way too many most nights-and late-night talks about family and our values. It sounded a little funny, but I meant it in the manliest way possible. We'd talk about putting away the bad guys, feeling a need to keep the world safe, and we both wanted the rush that came from this type of work. There's a danger in undercover work that can't be found anywhere else in life. Jumping out of a plane, swimming with sharks, and all other types of adrenaline-junkie activities didn't even come close to living undercover.

James and I had a kinship. We were cut from the same cloth. We didn't take s.h.i.t from people or give a f.u.c.k what anyone thought of us. We were both deep-seated in family. Mine was still fully intact, but his had been ripped apart by drugs. That was his driving motivation. Mine was the need to feel like I was doing something good. I could've sat at home with the rest of my siblings and worked in the tattoo shop, but it lacked the thrill I wanted, the need I felt.

With each day that pa.s.sed while being in the Sun Devils MC, I realized how badly I missed my life before the DEA. Drugs, s.e.x, violence, death, and general a.s.shole behaviors were part of everyday life, and they weighed heavily on the soul. It was part of this MC, and I knew I wasn't cut out for it.

I missed my family. Life had become boring for me, so I'd decided to try my hand at something else-something dangerous. Looking back, I knew it hadn't been worth the risk.

I didn't know how I could've ever thought that my family wouldn't be at risk in this line of work. I should've known that something could go wrong and someone would find a way to get to me, especially through my family. Even if Flash hadn't brought Izzy to Daytona, she and the rest of the Gallos would have been at risk.

I had a hard choice to make when this a.s.signment was over. Stay in and work for the greater good of society or quit and go back to my old life. No matter how boring life seemed, at least everyone would be safe from something that had been caused by my actions. My family was everything to me.

Which brings me back to Izzy. She was my little sister. I spent my teen years chasing away boys, teaching her to be bada.s.s and not to put up with s.h.i.t from a.s.sholes like my brothers and me. I knew that Izzy wasn't being used. The girl was just too d.a.m.n smart to let that s.h.i.t happen.

I wasn't even p.i.s.sed that she was with James-if that were the case. I was more worried about the fallout that would occur when they ended. I a.s.sumed this because Izzy didn't have the best track record, and James was a f.u.c.k-stick on legs.

James was like my brother from another mother. He and I were alike, and that was why we got along so well. What really f.u.c.kin' stung was that he hadn't told me anything was going on. That s.h.i.t just isn't cool. You can't f.u.c.k your best friend's sister and forget to mention that s.h.i.t.

I needed to make him squirm. Have him worry a little bit about how I felt about the entire situation.

Izzy had to be with someone, but no one could ever live up to my high standards. But James was the closest thing I had to a brother who wasn't blood. If he truly loved my sister-would give his life for her-then I'd give my blessing.

After knocking on his apartment door, I looked over my shoulder, surveying the surroundings just to be sure I hadn't been followed. The coast was clear, and from this vantage point, I could see the street in both directions. "Hold on," a grumpy voice called from inside.

"Let go of your d.i.c.k for five seconds and open the f.u.c.king door." I pounded on the door, not wanting to stand out here any longer than I had to and risk being seen. I was sure I could've given an excuse about getting some p.u.s.s.y, but any secret from the club would have thrown up a flag of suspicion.

"f.u.c.ker," James said as the door opened.

I laughed, punching him in the shoulder as I walked inside. The place was dark and a f.u.c.king mess. James was always a clean freak, but the inside of his apartment looked like chaos had ensued.

"What the f.u.c.k, dude? This s.h.i.t isn't like you." I threw some papers that had been sitting on the chair to the floor and sat down before grabbing my smokes and setting them on the table.

"I've been busy." He pulled out a chair, sat across from me, and cracked his knuckles.

"I guess so, by the looks of this s.h.i.thole. Been doing a lot of traveling?" I smirked.

"Thomas," he said, holding up his hand. "I'm sorry." He sighed, shaking his head.

I had known him long enough that I could read his emotions. I wasn't dumb enough to say that I could read him, because I'd f.u.c.kin' missed he was s.c.r.e.w.i.n.g my little sister.

"I thought we were better friends than that, James. Why wouldn't you be straight up and tell me?"

"It's complicated." Hanging his head, he fidgeted with his hands, balling them into fists and then releasing them.

"f.u.c.king someone isn't all that complicated."

"It was more than that and it was nothing at all."

"You better rephrase that s.h.i.t."

"I didn't mean for it to happen, Thomas," he said, lifting his head to meet my gaze. "You gotta understand that."

"I do," I responded, knowing the type of man James was. "When did it happen?"

"At your brother's wedding." He reached for my cigarettes, but I quickly pulled them out of his reach.

"Keep going."

"It just happened. We drank a lot and talked most of the reception. One thing led to another and-"

"And you f.u.c.ked my sister," I deadpanned, feeling my blood start to course through my veins faster than normal.

"It's not like that."

"Tell me what it was like."

He cleared his throat, running his fingers through his hair. I could see the vein in his neck pulsing as his blood pressure rose. "I listened to you talk about Izzy forever. You built her up and told me how amazing she was, and I listened to every word. I felt like I'd known her forever when I met her. Thomas, how you described her didn't do her justice. I've never met anyone like her."

"So, it's my fault you stuck your d.i.c.k in my little sister?" I growled, pulling a cigarette from the pack and lighting it.

"No!" he yelled, shaking his head vigorously. "I hung on your stories when you'd talk about her, and when I met her, it came full circle. I never believed in love at first sight, but I knew I wanted to be with her, and not in that f.u.c.king way, you p.r.i.c.k. I wanted Izzy in my life. She has this zest for life." He paused and hung his head again. "Jesus, I'm sounding all soft and s.h.i.t. I love her. I f.u.c.king love her!" He drew in a quick breath as he finished his confession.

Letting the smoke escape through my nose, I asked, "Have you been seeing her since the wedding?" I still needed details, but the thought of James being in love with my sister didn't p.i.s.s me off-it was the lies. It was better to know the type of man she was with than the unknown and uncertainty of her being with a stranger. I knew James would never intentionally hurt her.

"No. Dude, she f.u.c.king vanished. She'd left me without even saying goodbye." His mouth hung open. "I mean, what other woman does that s.h.i.t?"

I laughed, throwing back my head and thinking of James finding that Izzy had ditched his a.s.s in the middle of the night. There's nothing that hurts pride more than s.h.i.t like that. James was a c.o.c.ky motherf.u.c.ker, so it must've wrecked him, even if it was only for a short time.

"That sounds like Izzy."

"I know. I've never met a woman and felt connected to her immediately. She's my kryptonite, man." He laughed, and I joined him.

"G.o.d, you're such a p.u.s.s.y, James. I thought you were tougher than this s.h.i.t."

"I was, but Izzy f.u.c.kin' ruined me."

"Don't mention Izzy and f.u.c.kin' in the same sentence."

"Oh, sorry," he said, his face growing sober as he bit his lip to stop the laughter.

"I'm serious, f.u.c.ker."

"So am I." He smiled, the tension between us easing as the air felt lighter.

Jesus, maybe his pansy a.s.s had rubbed off on me, or maybe it was spending time with Roxy. I was as p.u.s.s.y-whipped as he was, but the big difference was I had no future with her, unlike James with my sister-if she stuck around long enough for there to be a future.

"So, you saw her at the wedding and then when did you see her again?"

Upon standing, he walked to the counter and grabbed a pack of smokes. I never knew James to smoke unless he was drinking, but I was sure the severity of the entire situation had started to wear on him much as it had on me.

"I didn't see her again until you called from Daytona."

It all started to click in my brain. Izzy had freaked out when she'd heard that I was calling James. I hadn't been able to figure out why and had a.s.sumed she was just being her usual headstrong self. Man, I had been so f.u.c.king wrong.

The air was so f.u.c.king thick when James and Izzy had seen each other again. She had been panicked and not herself. I'd thought maybe it was because of the situation she'd been in, but now, I realized she'd been acting like she'd gotten caught. No one wanted to have to face the person they'd ditched without a word, but she hadn't had a choice.

"Are you seeing her now?" I stubbed out my cigarette after having let most of it burn down without taking but a couple of drags.

"Not right this f.u.c.kin' minute," he teased, a slow smile spreading across his face.

"a.s.shole. I mean have you been seeing her since Daytona?"

"Yeah, man."

"Expand on that answer." I wasn't in the mood for short and sweet.

"Every chance I get, I go see her."

"That s.h.i.t is risky, James," I hissed, wondering what would happen if someone followed him.

"It's not. I'm always careful. I make sure you have backup and that I'm not followed." He smashed his cigarette in the ashtray, having barely smoked any of it.

"Spend time with my family?"

"Yes." He tried to hide his smile, but to no avail.

I felt a pang of jealously that he had probably spent more time with them in the last couple of months than I had in years. "Tell me what's going on with them."

"City and Suzy are expecting in a couple of months-"

I interrupted, jealousy growing inside me. "I still haven't met my sister-in-law. There's so much I've missed out on because of this job."

"You have an amazing family, Thomas. I don't know how you can be apart from them."

"I'm starting to question it myself. Keep talking," I responded, needing to hear more.

"Suzy's great. She's so sweet, and I can see the love she has for your brother all over her face. She doesn't hide her feelings. You're going to love her."

"I'm sure I will. If Joe loves her, she has to be amazing. What about Mike?"

"He's seeing Mia."

"Wait. Who's Mia?"

"His girlfriend. They've been exclusive for a long time. He quit fighting and works with her and at the shop."

My head started to spin from thinking about everything I had missed. All the holidays, birthdays, and now, Joe's wedding-it was almost too much to bear. A woman had finally snared Mike and I hadn't been there to see it.

"What does she do?" I asked, wondering what had caused my brother to give up his dreams of being a championship fighter.

"She's a doctor, and they have a clinic together."

"Huh." Mike and a doctor weren't a pair I'd match up ever in my life. He was into inflicting injuries, not patching them up.

"I know, right?" He laughed, understanding what I meant after having spent time with Mike. "He's totally p.u.s.s.y-whipped and in love with her. He hasn't asked her to marry him yet."

"Surprising. The b.a.s.t.a.r.d is a hopeless romantic. That much I know about my brother. As pa.s.sionate as he is about fighting, he has to be in love with her to have given it all up."

"Yeah." He paused, his forehead crinkling above his eyes.

"It's okay, man," I said.

"I just feel s.h.i.tty. I know you have to miss them."

"I do. This a.s.signment should be over any day now. Just waiting for the paperwork to come through and make the arrests."

"They said it would be in the next week."

"It can't come fast enough." I sighed, rubbing my hands against my jeans. "How are my parents, James?"

"They're fine, Thomas. Your mom is f.u.c.king amazing. She can cook her a.s.s off and is the sweetest little thing."