"Morning, angel." Reaching out, he ran the backs of his knuckles down my arm before settling his hand against mine. "Thanks for last night."

Is he really thanking me? "What's wrong, Blue?" There was something he wasn't telling me, and it gnawed at me like a disease.

"Nothing for you to worry about." He flashed me a quick smile that didn't reach his eyes.

"Why don't you stay with me today?" I wasn't ready to let him go. Squeezing his hand, I gave him a sweet, lopsided smile, patting the empty spot next to me.

"Can't, babe. I have s.h.i.t to do, but there's nowhere else I'd rather be." He leaned forward and kissed me on the lips.

"Will you come back tonight after I get off work?"

Please say yes. Please say yes.

"I'll be here if I can."

Denied. That wasn't the answer I had been hoping for. It wasn't a yes or a no-it was a way to appease me, and I knew it.

"Okay," I said as I sat up and pressed my front to his back, relishing the feel of his skin.

He gripped my hands as I squeezed him. Turning to me, he said, "Hey. Stop that."

My eyebrows shot up. "What?"

"I can see your wheels turning. I'm here, babe. I'll be back."

I sighed, peppering his shoulder with kisses. "Is this the end?" I asked against his flesh. "Just be honest with me."

He shook his head and placed a kiss on my nose. "No. I'll be back. I'm not done with you yet."

Warmth bloomed inside me and happiness filled me. Maybe I'd read the signs wrong.

"I just can't promise tonight. s.h.i.t has been getting heavy at the club. Be patient with me, Rox." He ran his nose against my hairline, taking in my smell.

Tiny goose b.u.mps dotted my flesh and the wisps of hairs on my body rose. "I'd wait a lifetime for you, Blue." I climbed into his lap, resting my body against his.

"I'll text ya later. I'll let you know either way. Okay?"

"Yes. As long as I know you're coming back."

"Angel," he said, grabbing my chin, forcing my eyes to his. "I'll be back. I give you my word."

Nodding, I wrapped my arms around him and hugged him quickly. After releasing him, I crawled to my feet and stretched. The worry I'd felt vanished.

Looking at the clock, I noticed that we'd slept later than we normally did. "You better get your fine a.s.s out of here before the guys wonder where you are and come looking."

He grabbed his shirt off the floor, where I'd dropped it the night before. "Eh, those a.s.sholes can wait for me," he muttered as he pulled it on, adjusted himself, and rose to his feet.

"We all wait for you, Blue." I gave him one last quick kiss on the lips before I opened my closet to slip on a robe.

"Talk later?" he asked, yanking on his boots.

"Yeah. Now go."

He nodded with a smile and headed for my bedroom door. Before he disappeared, I slapped him on the a.s.s. His loud laughter echoed as he closed the door and walked down the hallway.

Collapsing onto the bed, I let myself finally breathe. I felt like I'd been holding the air in my lungs since we'd sat on my patio last night. Then I closed my eyes, said a little prayer, thanked G.o.d, and fell back to sleep.

Before I went on stage, I checked my phone, but there was still no message from Blue. I wanted nothing more than to text him, but I didn't want to be that girl. Being needy was outside my comfort zone, but he had my head all f.u.c.ked up and twisted.

After a.n.a.lyzing my makeup, I plastered on a fake smile before I headed for the door. No guy wants to throw money at a stripper with a sad face. I didn't want to seduce the men, but I wanted to captivate them enough that they'd feel inclined to offer up some of their hard-earned cash.

"Hey, Foxy," I said, stepping toward the stage.

She counted her last bill and looked up with a smile. "Hey, Roxy. You're looking-"

I held up my hand. "Don't say it. I know I look like s.h.i.t."

"Get it together, mama. It's a good crowd tonight. Best tips I've had in a long time."

I sighed, knowing she was right. Keeping my work and personal life separate was a must. The men came here to feel like I wanted them. They were here for a show, and come h.e.l.l or high water, I'd give it to them.

"Game face." I giggled as I tried to give her a s.e.xy I-want-to-f.u.c.k-you look.

"Close enough." She laughed as she shook her head. "Go get 'em, tiger."

"Catch ya when my set is done." I waved as she walked away and I headed toward the stage.

I stood behind the curtain, listening to my introduction. Pushing back my shoulders, I gave myself a pep talk.

I can do this s.h.i.t. They are here to see me. Pretend you're giving a show only to Blue. Every man in the audience is him-no one else.

Once I heard my name, I stepped past the curtain. Then I took the stage, commanded their attention, and let myself think of only him. Clearing my mind, I gave the number my all, climbing the pole, twirling in the air, and bending myself in ways that weren't natural.

Catcalls and whistles were easy to block out over the sound of "b.u.t.tons" by the p.u.s.s.ycat Dolls. The three minutes and forty-six seconds seemed to pa.s.s quicker than normal as I thought about Blue. When the number ended and the men clapped, I bowed and quickly grabbed the bills scattered about the stage before heading to the dressing room.

I didn't care about counting my tips. The only thing I wanted to do was check my phone. But the screen was blank as I pressed the "on" b.u.t.ton. Sighing to myself, I tossed the phone on my station.

"Hot date?" Foxy asked, fixing her lip gloss in the mirror.

"I was hoping for a call." I plopped my a.s.s in the chair, kicking off my heels to rub my feet.

"They always say they'll call." She smacked her lips together and hoisted her t.i.ts higher in her red cutout bra.

"He's different."

He is, d.a.m.n it. He wasn't like the other p.r.i.c.ks and perverts sitting in the club tonight. He was a gentleman. Treating me with respect, he showed me softness and made me feel important.

I stared at myself in the mirror, trying to determine if I was full of s.h.i.t.

"Don't fool yourself, babe. You'll have a lot of disappointment if you do."

"I'm aware of how most men are. He's not like that, Fox."

She walked behind me, looking at me in the mirror. "If you say so, kid." Then she squeezed my shoulder, a sad smile on her face.

"Foxy, I know how most men are, but Blue is different."

"Ahhh," she said as she clicked her tongue against the roof of her mouth. "Blue." She hung on his name like she knew him intimately.

My stomach turned at the thought of him with another woman. I wasn't a fool. I knew he probably had a handful of girls he'd spent his nights with in the last month. h.e.l.l, it could be in the double digits.

He wasn't mine.

I had no claim on him.

"Have you-" I started to say before she held up her hand.

"With Blue? Never."

"But you know him?"

"Every girl does, Roxy."

"They do?" I asked, shocked by her admission. "Are people talkin' s.h.i.t?"

She laughed, shaking her head. "Who's dumb enough to talk s.h.i.t about Blue?"

"You tell me. You're the one who made the statement."

"Girls talk, babe. Trust me-every girl in here has tried with him."

"What?" My mouth gaped open.

"They've all hit on him. All asked to go home with him. But the answer is always the same."

"Which is?"

I mean, what the f.u.c.k? Why couldn't she just spill it? I swear she got off on driving other women crazy.

"He always tells them no." She grabbed my hair, playing with it in her hands as she kept her eyes locked on mine.

My cheeks felt flushed, heat rushing to my face. "He does?" I asked. Then I swallowed hard as relief flooded me.

"He always tells them he's not interested and that he's only here for one girl."

Closing my eyes, I tried to hide my emotion. He turned them all down. I wanted to collapse and cry happy tears, but I couldn't. I wouldn't let her know how much her words meant to me. Then I heard her footsteps as she moved away from my station, but I didn't dare look.

The one thing I'd learned since being here was to never show fear...or sadness. This was a cutthroat business. When one girl made huge tips, it lessened the income of the others. Some of them would use any angle possible to bring you down and end the compet.i.tion-even Foxy.

"You and him a thing?" she asked as she slipped on a different pair of shoes.

"I don't know if I'd call it that."

"He f.u.c.k you?" she asked.

Opening my eyes, I turned toward her and tilted my head. I'd always felt she was the one person I could trust in this place. She was more of a girlfriend than a frenemy.

"Yes."

"Does he stay the night?"

"Sometimes."

"You f.u.c.kin' anyone else?"

"No."

"Well, I know he isn't f.u.c.king any other strippers."

"I don't know what the h.e.l.l we are, Foxy. Honestly, it's complicated."

"Babe, all relationships are complicated. They're f.u.c.ked up and glorious. Life without complication is boring as h.e.l.l. You know when s.h.i.t isn't complicated?"

Part of what she said was right. Life was f.u.c.ked up. "When?"

"When you're old and p.i.s.sing yourself in the nursing home. We die the same way we came into this life. Alone. That s.h.i.t ain't complicated."

"Thanks for being a buzzkill. Jesus, that's some depressing s.h.i.t."

"It's the truth. Enjoy whatever you and Mr. Complicated have going on. Someday, you'll wish you could have the f.u.c.ked-up, complicated life to do again."

I didn't know if I wanted to laugh or cry. Time pa.s.ses by in a blink of an eye, and there's nothing we can do to stop it. Someday, I would be old, Blue would be old, and this would be all in the past. The only thing I knew for sure was that I didn't want to die alone.

"Thanks for the pep talk, Foxy. Ever think of changing professions?" I asked, trying to keep the mood light.

"As what?"

"An inspirational speaker." I giggled, throwing my head back and holding my stomach.

"Oh, f.u.c.k off. I speak the truth. It isn't pretty, but I'm right."

I didn't want to sit here another moment and wonder about "what if." Instead, I grabbed my phone and typed a message to Blue.

Me: I hope to see you tonight. I'll be in my bed waiting for you, handsome.

After dimming the screen, I put the phone in my locker and readied myself for another set. The ball was in his court now.