"Oh," said the king, laughing, "this punishment would not be one for M. Maupeou: justice ought to be blind: and as for you, M. de Richelieu, you have your baton left."

"Which he has n.o.bly gained," I replied, "by fighting against your majesty's enemies, and of which he still continues worthy, by now defending me from my foes."

"This rebellion," said the king, "cannot last, and I see myself compelled to hold a lit de justice (a judicial sitting or bed)."

"And I swear to you, that I will receive n.o.body into mine until I have been presented."

This sally amused the king, who said, "Well, since it must be so, you shall be presented."

At this I leaped on the king's neck, giving a cry which might have been heard by my rivals. After that, I advanced to the two gentlemen who had advocated my cause so well, extending a hand to each, which they took and kissed with great gallantry.

Louis XV became thoughtful, and continued to mutter between his teeth, "I wash my hands of it-they will cry out, they will clamor, but it must be so." I saw the feelings of the king, and took care not to allow him to go away in this state. Whilst I sought to compose him by my caresses, the duc de Richelieu told us one of his thousand and one adventures, which he told so well. I know not if it will please you, but such as it is I shall give you an abridgment of it.

"I was, you know," he began, "a very good-looking, a very wild fellow: women have no objection to this. I was travelling, and in my way thro' D--, M., the intendant of the city, insisted on my taking up my abode at his house. His lady added her entreaties, and I consented. I must tell you that the lady was handsome. I had pa.s.sed the night with her; but when, on the next morning, as I sought to go out of her apartment, I found the outer door double locked and bolted. I looked round me on all sides, but found no egress. Whilst I was lamenting this with the lady's femme-de-chambre, who was nearly as much distressed as her mistress, I saw in a detached closet a great many machines covered with paper, and all of different shapes. On inquiry, I was informed that the following Monday was the lady's birthday, which they were to celebrate with fireworks. I looked at the beautiful fusees and brilliant suns with much admiration. Suddenly, thinking of the lady's honor which might be compromised, I took a light and set fire to a Roman candle; in a moment the whole was in flames, and everybody took alarm. Great was the consternation in the house, which was turned out of windows; and in the uproar, the house-door being broken open, a crowd of persons rushed in; I ran this way and that way; everybody admired and praised my exertions. I was compelled to quit the house at last, and ordered my carriage, whilst M. the intendant was thanking me for the vast service I had rendered him. I a.s.sure you, sire, that I never laughed more heartily."*

*The duc de Richelieu preserved his coolness and talent at repartee in the most trivial circ.u.mstances.

The story is well known of the man who came to ask for his aid, saying they were related. "How?"

asked the duke. "Sir, by Adam." "Give this man a penny," said the duke, turning to a gentleman of his train; "and if all of his relations give him as much he will soon be a richer man than I am."

If our readers will turn to "Joe Miller," Page 45, they will find this jest attributed to the witty duke of Buckingham. It is a very good joke for a duke, but savors more of a desire to be witty than to be charitable.

(translator) This tale amused the king, and M. de Richelieu a.s.sured him that he had never told it before. A thousand considerations had induced him to keep it to himself until the present time. "But now," said he, "the third generation of madame l'intendante is no longer young, and I have no fear of being called out to fight a duel."

Next day there was a general rumor of my presentation. My friends a.s.serted that I had the king's promise. This was imprudent on their part, and they injured my interest whilst they flattered my vanity. They put the Choiseul cabal to work, who intrigued so well that not a person could be found who would perform the office of introductress. You know the custom: the presentation is effected by the intermediation of another lady, who conducts the person to be presented to the princesses, and introduces her. This custom had pa.s.sed into a law, and it would have been too humiliating to me to have dispensed with it.

This was a dire blow for me: it distressed me sadly, and I wept over it with my friends. The duc de Richelien said to me,

"With money and promises everything can be managed at court. There is no place where they know better how to value complaisance, and the price at which it is sold. Do not give yourself any uneasiness; we shall find the lady we want."

And we did find her, but her compliance was dearly bought. Two ladies who were applied to stipulated for most outrageous conditions. One, the marquise de Castellane, consented to present me, but demanded that she should be created a d.u.c.h.ess, and have a gift of five hundred thousand livres: the other, whose name I forget, asked for her husband the order of the Holy Ghost and a government, a regiment for her son, and for herself I forget what. These ladies seemed to think, like Don Quixote and Sancho Panza, that governments and five hundred thousand livres were to be picked up on the highway. In truth, they spoke out without disguise.

At this juncture the chancellor had a singular conversation concerning me with the Choiseuls. He had been one morning to call on the duke, and whilst they were discoursing, the d.u.c.h.esse de Grammont came into her brother's apartment, and entered at once into conversation.

"Ah, my lord, I am glad to see you. Your new friends carry you off from your old ones. You are wrong to adore the rising sun."

"That was the idolatry of a great number of persons: but I beg of you to be so very kind as not to speak to me in figures, if you would wish me to understand you."

"Oh, you play off the ignorant. You know as well as I do what I mean, and your daily visits to this fille."

"Which, madame? There are so many at court!"

This sarcastic reply made the brother and sister smile; both of them being fully competent to understand the merit of an epigram. The duke fearing lest the d.u.c.h.ess should go too far, judging by what she had already said, thus addressed him:

"You are, then, one of the adorers of the comtesse du Barry?"

"Yes, monsieur le due; and would to G.o.d that, for your own interest, you would be so too!"

"My brother set foot in the house of this creature!"

"Why not, madame? We see good company there; the prince de Soubise, the ducs de la Trimouille, de la Vauguyon, Duras, Richelieu, d'Aiguillon, and many others, not to mention the king of France. A gentleman may be seen in such company without any disgrace."

"Monsieur le chevalier," replied the duke, "to speak candidly to you, allow me to ask, if any one who would have the friendship of our house would be seen in that of the lady in question?"

"Pardon me, duke; that is not the question. Allow me, in turn, to ask you, why those of your house should not go there? This, I think, is the real question."

"You offer us a splendid alliance!" said the d.u.c.h.ess with anger.

"I offer nothing, madame: I only inquire. For my part, I see no legitimate motive for this proscription of madame du Barry."

"A woman without character!"

"Character! Why, madame, who has any in these days? M. de Crebillon the younger would be at a loss to tell us where to find it."

This reply made the duke and his sister smile again. The chancellor went on thus:

"It appears to me that persons were less difficult in the times of madame de Pompadour."

"But a creature who has been so low in society!"

"Have you seen her so, madame? And supposing it has been the case, do we interdict all ladies of conduct not less blamable from an introduction at court. How many can you enumerate, madame, who have led a life much more scandalous? Let us count them on our fingers. First, the marechale de Luxembourg, one; then-"

"Then the comtesse de Choiseul, my sister-in-law," added the duke; "we know it as well as you, sir. But this is not the matter in question. You are not ignorant that our enemies surround this madame du Barry; and it is of your alliance with them that I complain."

"You see everything with a jaundiced eye, monsieur le duc. But if you fear the influence of this lady with the king, why do you not present yourself at her apartments? She would be delighted to receive you."

"No, no!" cried the d.u.c.h.ess, "my brother will never present himself to such a creature. If he would degrade himself so low, I would never forgive him as long as I live. Since you show your grat.i.tude for what has been done for you by leaguing yourself with this woman, tell her from me that I detest her, and that I will never rest until I have sent her back again to her dunghill."

"Madame," replied the chancellor, "I will evince my grat.i.tude to the duke by not delivering such a message"; and the chancellor went out.

M. de Maupeou came to tell me the whole of this conversation, which Chon wrote down under his dictation, that I might show it to the king. You will see in my next letter what resulted from all this, and how the ill-timed enmity of the Choiseuls served my interests most materially.

CHAPTER XI

A word concerning the d.u.c.h.esse de Choiseul-The apartment of the Comte de Noailles-The Noailles-Intrigues for presentation-The comte de Bearn-M. Morand once more-Visit of the comtesse Bearn to the comtesse du Barry-Conversation-Interested complaisance The king and the comtesse du Barry-Dispute and reconciliation

I showed the king this conversation, in which I had so shamefully vilified by the d.u.c.h.esse de Grammont. Louis XV was very much inclined to testify his disapprobation to this lady, but was withheld by the consideration he felt for the duke and (particularly) the d.u.c.h.esse de Choiseul. This latter lady was not beloved by her husband, but her n.o.ble qualities, her good heart, made her an object of adoration to the whole court. You could not speak to any person of madame de Choiseul without hearing an eulogium in reply. The king himself was full of respect towards her; so much so, that, on the disgrace of the duke, he in some sort asked her pardon for the chagrin which he had caused her. Good conduct is no claim to advancement at court, but it procures the esteem of the courtiers. Remember, my friend, this moral maxim: there is not one of greater truth in my whole journal.

The king, unable to interpose his authority in a woman's quarrel, was yet determined on giving a striking proof of the attachment he bore to me. I had up to this period occupied Lebel's apartments in the chateau: it was not befitting my station, and the king thought he would give me those of madame de Pompadour, to which I had some claim. This apartment was now occupied by the comte de Noailles, governor of the chateau, who, as great fool as the rest of his family, began to exclaim most l.u.s.tily when the king's will was communicated to him. He came to his majesty complaining and lamenting. The king listened very quietly to his list of grievances; and when he had moaned and groaned out his dolorous tale, his majesty said to him,

"My dear count, who built the chateau of Versailles?"

"Why, sire, your ill.u.s.trious grandfather."

"Well, then, as I am at home, I mean to be master. You may establish the seat of your government where you will; but in two hours the place must be free. I am in earnest."