I stomped through the entry, still growling as I flung the door open. "I thought I told you I wasn'ta""

Ella stood on my doorstep.

I wondered for a minute if I was asleep. Snowflakes, lit up and turned golden by the streetlights, fluttered down behind her. She had on a pair of jeans and her green ski jacket. Framed in the doorway, she made a gorgeous sight with her hair drifting around her face in the breeze.

"Ellaawhat are youa?" I wrapped my arms around my chest. The wind was icy and blew straight inside. Kind of like the feeling I got in my heart at the sight of her.

"Will couldn't make you come to me, so I came to you instead." She looked over my shoulder before dropping her gaze to the ground.

I stared at her for second, forgetting about the snow, the wind, my short sleeves and my bare feet. "Is that why he kept insisting I come to his place?"

Ella nodded, still not looking at me. "I'veabeen trying to work up the nerve to talk to you for a couple of weeks now. Will and Penn decided to force things along. But, then you didn't comea" She shivered. "I'm freezing. Are you going to ask me inside, or was it stupid of me to come here?"

That snapped me out of the daze I'd been caught in. "Uh, yeah, sure." The wind gusted and the snow swirled, falling faster now. I wanted her to come inside, but I needed a minute to regroup, prepare. "Why don't you pull your car into the garage? Mom's not here and that way you won't have to scrape your windshield later."

She turned back to her car. While I ran through the living room, kitchen and mudroom hallway to get to the garage door opener, a billion thoughts tussled in my head. Why was she here? Just to torture me more? Tell me she wanted me back? What? I stopped at the door to the garage and leaned against the wall, banging the back of my head against the sheetrock. Why was it that she had me in such a tailspin? I fought demons, literal demons, for God's sake, and I couldn't handle a seventeen-year-old girl.

The wind howled against the house, interrupting my self-beating. I shouldn't leave Ella in a blizzard to give myself time to clear my head, so I opened the garage door and she pulled in. She came into the house quietly, head bowed, and made her way into the living room. I followed. When we got there, she stood in the middle of the room in front of the fire.

"May I sit?"

I almost laughed at the formality, but the laugh got stuck in my throat. If she could play Miss Manners, I could, too. "Sure. Let me take your coat."

Of course, hanging up her coat in the entryway closet gave me more time to bang my head against the wall a" the doorjamb hurt. After a couple more blows and a few deep breaths, I went to see what she wanted.

Ella sat on the carpet in front of the fireplace, twisting the hem of her thick fisherman's sweater in her hands. I settled down next to her; close, but not too close. I wanted to pull her into my arms more than anything, run my hands through her hair, kiss herabut I stayed put. If she was here to *clear the air,' I couldn't let myself feel a thing. I'd been hurt too much already.

Cool, collected, that was me. "Why did you come over?"

She lifted her face, and a tear ran down her cheek. That hit me like a punch in the gut. I scooted closer, but still didn't touch her. I felt like I was dealing with a spooked kitten, which was funny since I was supposed to be the messed up one, but no one ever said this crap made sense.

She wiped her eyes. "Why didn't you keep going out with Sami?"

That's why she came over? "It wouldn't work out."

Ella waited a while before asking, "Why not?"

The same reason it wouldn't work out with anyonea"Tink. That wasn't the only reason, sure, but I didn't want to go there. "My job makes it hard."

"Maybe, buta" Ella swallowed the last few words. When she spoke again, her voice was soft. "Do you still care about me?"

I wasn't sure I could answer her without breaking. Better just to stay quiet.

"Because, Will saysa" She bit her lip.

I sat up straight, starting to get a little angry about this situation. "No, let's hear what Will says."

"That you do." Ella stood and turned to the fire, her chest heaving. "Care about me, I mean. That you never stopped."

What was that bastard thinking, butting into the middle of this mess after telling me I needed to fly solo? "He had no right to tell you that."

"Maybe not!" Ella said. She paced the floor, taking shuddering breaths, about ten seconds away from crying her eyes out. "But even if Will screwed up for telling me, he screwed up with his heart in the right place. He's always looking out for you. Always!"

I put my head in my hands. "I know."

Ella knelt next to me and put her hand on my forearm. Like always, it felt like electric shock. It wasn't faira"a person shouldn't have this much control over someone else. I had to resist yanking my arm away.

"MattaI'm sorry," she said. "I made a mistake. I listened to my doubts, and it cost us eight months. I should've been stronger." She tightened her grip. "I thought you'd be better off. I thought you needed the space. And God knows I was a wreck every time you went on a mission." She paused, and the wind howled against the house so hard the walls creaked. "But remember how you said that little voice, the one that pulled us apart, was lying? I think you were right."

This wasn't right, and I knew it. I'd come a long way in the last eight months, forced to stand on my own. Now it was my turn to man up. It wasn't fair to put another person through the hell I had to live. Mom and Dad's story had shown me that much. Then there was Tink; I was bound to something that wouldn't release me, not ever. Even if it hurt, I had to let Ella go before it was too late.

"No, you didn't make a mistake." I looked into her green eyes. Hypnotizing. Had to look away. "I asked too much of you. Like my dad asked of Mom. If I'm going to be any kind of man, I should have the guts to walk away, like he did. To protect you."

A log popped and we both turned to the fireplace. I was glad I didn't have to look her in the eye for what I needed to say next.

"Ella, I love you enough to let you go."

The weight that had been crushing my chest all these months lifted. Relief, pure and sweet, rolled over me. I was finally strong enough to say goodbye.

I laid my hand on hers, and we stared at each other.

Then Ella yanked her hand back. "That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard!"

Huh?

"You think I'm too weak to take it, don't you?" Her face turned bright red. "Oh, no, you aren't getting out of this that easily!"

My eyes popped open in surprise. "Whata.Iawhat?"

"You still aren't listening to me!" Ella gave me a shove and I toppled over. "I love you, idiot. I want you back, so quit being so freaking noble! Tell me you want me back. Be selfish. Let me make some sacrifices for once!"

She pushed away and I sat back up, worried she was going to haul off and punch me, but all she did was glare in my general direction. It didn't matter that she was mad, though.

Ella loved me.

I laughed. I couldn't help myselfa"I was so damn relieved. I laughed harder.

"Quit laughing," she snapped, but the corner of her mouth turned up. Before long, she collapsed on the floor, giggling. "God, it feels good to get all that angst out of my system."

I flopped down next to her. "Yeah, it does."

"Matt, I wasn't very smart to let you go and I missed you every second. So much that I couldn't even look at you, it hurt so bad. I thought I was helping you, but by the time I realized I never should've broken up with you, it was too latea"you left for Africa and I wondered if I'd ever get the chance to tell you." Ella rolled onto her side and propped herself up on one elbow. "I know I hurt you and I totally understand if you don't want me back." She gave me a timid smile, at odds with the stray tear caught on her eyelashes. "But I hope you do."

The room seemed to constrict. No air to breathe. Everything stood still; so still I could hear snowflakes land on the ground outside.

Then it all exploded.

Feeling like I'd been fired from a cannon, I rolled on top of Ella and kissed her face all over.

"As if I'd ever say no to you."

She pulled me close. "I've missed you so much."

"I never let you go, you know that, right? Not even when Samianot even then," I said between kisses. "It's been you forever." I rested my cheek against hers and breathed in the scent of her hair. The vanilla shampoo smelled like a homecoming. "Always you."

Ella closed her eyes and spooned against me. "My parents think I'm spending the night at Penn's."

My heart shot into my throat. This wasn't how I'd imagined my night ending. A loaded silence filled the living room, but I couldn't think of a thing to say. I stared at Ella's face, wondering if she really meant what I thought she meant.

Her eyelids fluttered open. "Can I stay over?"

She did.

Not able to answer in any other way, I dug my fingers into her hair, tilted her head back and kissed her until we were both breathless. She wrapped her arms around my shoulders, clutching at me like she couldn't let go and I didn't want her to. All the puzzle pieces were in place now. After months of being broken, I finally felt whole again.

For a while, kissing was enough. Just the feel of her mouth. Just the crackle of the fire and the sound of her breathing.

It wasn't long before I needed more, though. I'd missed her too much to waste time and I ached all over, thinking I'd shatter into a billion pieces. Ella must have felt the same way because she pulled my t-shirt over my head and tossed it across the room. She ran her hands across my back, my arms, my chest, tracing my scars, both new and old.

Heart pounding, I peeled off her sweater, then tugged the blanket over us, covering our heads, hiding the world. Pressed against her, kissing her slow, I was surprised at how warm Ella's skin felt against mine; usually I was the warm one. A little growl rolled up in my chest and I pulled her closer. My mouth wandered from her lips, down her neck, to her collarbone. Ella shivered and I thought about the first night we kissed, how my banged up collarbone had sparked everything between us. I kissed a trail down one of her arms, smiling when she got goose bumps after my lips brushed the inside of her elbow. She sighed softly and reached for the drawstring to my pants.

Goda"she really did want me back.

No clue how I maintained any rational thought, but I struggled free of the blanket and sat up. Ella's hair was wrecked and she watched me with glassy eyes, almost like she was drunk. Soft, ivory skin glowed in the light of the fireplace and something like a magnet started to pull me back her direction.

With effort, I wrenched free, whispering, "Wait, waita"I'll be right back."

I ran up the stairs to my bedroom, tripping twice on unsteady feet. Neither Brent's advice, nor his Christmas present, seemed pointless now, and the condoms were still in my nightstand right where he'd dropped them with a wink and a nod. I turned to leave, but stopped short to glance at my closet, waiting for the inevitable call, for Tink's insistence that I behave myself and remain true to her alone. Tink stayed silent, though, quietly absent from the back of my mind. Had she meant what she said in Africa? That she knew there would be times I needed to be alone?

Hardly daring to believe my luck, I ran from my room before Tink could change her mind. I bolted down the stairs, slipping on the last step, and my feet hit the tile with a graceless thud. Ignoring my bruised toes, I bounded into the living room. Ella's mouth turned up in a teasing smile, probably at my hurry. She'd wrapped the blanket around her shoulders and waited curled up by the fire.

Dropping to my knees next to her, I said, "Look, we did just make upaI don't want to rushaI mean, we can wait if youa"

I sounded both eager and strangled. Considering all the blood had left my brain, it was a wonder I could talk at all. If she'd changed her mind while I was upstairs, I'd have to roll around in the snow for an hour to keep from spontaneously combusting.

Ella traced my jaw with her fingertips. Never as beautiful. "I've had two years to think it over. You're all I've ever wanted. Now quit stalling and come get your birthday present."

All I needed to hear.

Chapter Thirty.

Ella had gone by the time Mom came home late Friday afternoon, but I could still smell a faint hint of vanilla on my extra pillow when I went to bed that night. It was hard to sleep with that kind of stimulation, and I kept grinning like a fool in the dark.

The knife-spirit heaved a sigh. I'm glad you are happy but if you lose your focus during a fight, mooning over this girl, I'm taking you over until I'm satisfied you'll behave. If you don't believe me, try it and see. You'll live like a monk until this war is over.

I didn't doubt that, but I was in too good a mood to bristle at Tink's threats. Instead, I said, "Thank you."

There was this shocked pause. She must not have expected gratitude. I'm not entirely heartless, you know.

"Uh huhajust a stalker."

Please, she said, sounding very annoyed, I do these things for your own good. But you also deserve to enjoy your humanity while we have a brief time of peace.

That was the closest thing to an apology I'd ever heard from her. "I'll make you proud."

You already have. Now go to sleep.

My eyelids started to droop immediately. "Yes, ma'am."

March came fast, which was usually what happened when I was happy: things are going better at home? Time to ship out, Mr. Archer! So when Colonel Black called to say that our Australia op had been moved up because the Australian military had received reports that some hikers had been killed by "aliens" in the Outback, I wasn't surprised.

"I can be ready to go in a few days," I said. "Is Will coming with me?"

"Yes," the colonel said. "I think we've finally convinced his father. His mother still hasn't agreed, but with his father's consent, Cruessan can go. And good thing; there's too much ground to cover in the Outback with just one wielder. Having both of you there, we can send you different directions, kind of like we did with you and Brandt in Africa."

It hadn't dawned on me that Will and I might get split up. Hopefully we'd stay in a central camp, at least. "Understood."

"Mattathere's one more thing."

My shoulders tensed up. Colonel Black rarely called me Matt; something bad must've happened. "Yes, sir?"

"We received a call yesterday." The colonel paused. "Zenka's been killed."

The air in my lungs turned into something gelatinous and I struggled to breathe. "Dead? Zenka's dead?"

"I'm afraid so."

"How?"

"Ramirez hadn't seen a thing for weeks after you and Cruessan left, so we called it good and brought his team home to plan their next missiona"there's been some trouble in Europe. They'd been back for two days when we received the call. Zenka didn't show up for breakfast and when a few people went to check on her, they found that her hut had been ransacked. The door was torn off its hinges and the scrapbook had been ripped apart, but Zenka wasn't there," the Colonel said. "They found her body later that day. A man from the village was sitting next to her. He'd killed herawith his bare hands."

I'd been sitting on the edge of my bed; now I lay back with my arm over my eyes trying to fight down the horror pounding in my head. It hadn't mattered. Losing Brandt and Tyson, fighting off that giant slime monster, doing everything we could to keep her safea"it hadn't mattered.

"Do we know why?"

"No. The man was in some kind of trance and kept muttering something about *ghosts on the wind.' When the man came back to full consciousness and saw what he'd donea" the colonel sighed. "He'd lived in the village his whole life; Zenka was a holy woman to him and he killed her, not even knowing what he was doing. The villagers had to turn him over to the authorities, but no one thought the man killed Zenka on purpose or out of any personal malice."

"Soawas he possessed or something?"