Volume 9 Chapter 75 A Song so Tragic that a Heart Breaks

“Wow, you actually managed,” Shen Yiren complimented.

“Poison King pretty much has anything bizarre and rare you could ask for, let alone pots; he has a stack of them. There’s also plenty of spring water. All we have to do is be careful not to contaminate things with the poison floating around.”

Well, it wouldn’t have harmed Boss when she already consumed the snake gall I fed her.

“Oh, it’s good. Good job when this snake lost a chunk of its body. You’re better than Liu Shan Men’s chef. Actually, I’d say you’re not far from an imperial chef. Ever considered employment as a chef?”

“To quote the sages of old: a glutton is bound to be a good chef. Our ancestors’ wisdom is reliable.”

“You actually think you’re all that just because I praised you a little?”

“I don’t even have all my necessary utensils. If I had a proper kitchen, the heavens would cast a beam of light down on me.”

“Light?”

“Clouds inside the light.”

“Clouds?”

“An elder jumps out of the cloud and introduces himself as Taibai Jinxing, here on Jade Emperor’s orders to invite me to heaven as their celestial chef.”

“Hahaha. That’s how far you’re taking it? You better pray you don’t run into a rabbit-raising maiden who boots you into a field.”

I grinned back: “I only know one maiden who raises rabbits, and she’s right in front of me.”

“Me?” Shen Yiren tilted her head to the side. “I don’t raise pets.”

“Sometimes, people don’t recognise their strengths and weaknesses. As the guardian of Rabbit Sect, I’m v-, stop going for my face!”

Shen Yiren glanced down to her placket and pulled it up. “I don’t understand you men, always gawking at the same spot. It’s just flesh, big deal. It’s a nuisance when walking and an obstacle in training. Don’t you find it burdensome?”

“No.” I got to my feet then continued, “The heavens must have a reason for giving us what we have. Flower fragrances, lush grass, green and fat, red and thin, everything has its reasons for being the way it is. The heavens must’ve given you extra for good reason. You love your body deep down. Open your heart. Open your arms. Embrace your heart. Do not let the bright sun blind you…”

“… Why do you get verbose whenever you talk about this sort of stuff? Who taught you these crooked logics?”

I lifted my chest: “My shifu.”

I swear to god I could literally see Shen Yiren’s respect for Mount Daluo drop.

I had no problem finishing my share, but Shen Yiren stopped eating after a few bites to deliberate, so I assuaged, “Don’t worry. We’re not stuck yet. We still have food and water.”

“That just means we’ve extended the length of time we’re stuck here. Surviving isn’t the issue. Somebody is bound to come in search of Poison King if he does not report back. If there are other mechanisms to open the door, somebody can come in. Thing is, what if Luo Ming doesn’t care if Poison King dies? If we don’t make it out in time, Luo Ming might’ve succeeded in his plan by the time we get out.”

True, I think it’s already the third day of the preliminaries, yet we still haven’t found Second…

“There is a way out.”

“What?”

“I have an idea, except…”

“Quit the guess-what act and out with it.”

“Don’t forget what you said. I’m going to need you to suffer a bit. You okay with that?”

“Me?”

After I explained my plan, I had Shen Yiren go back to the main hall.

“I’ve moved everything as you requested. What’s next?”

“Shut your eyes.”

“Why?”

“Just close them.”

And… I had to wait for Shen Yiren to finish shooting glares first before she obeyed.

“If you dare to take undue advantage of me, you’re going to get a taste of hell.”

“Nah, I just need you to sing a song.”

Shen Yiren opened her eyes again. “You want me to what?”

“Sing.”

“… You want to summon wolves here to bite the door down?”

Well, that’s not remotely close to what I had in mind, but you did just reveal what your singing standard is.

I merely didn’t want Boss to see me open the door.

“Look, just close your eyes and sing a song. Don’t open your eyes until you’re done. By the time you’re done singing, the door will be open.”

“How? What’s your method?”

I placed my index finger over my lips curved upwards: “Secret.”

“Whateve