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Feizhen and Suwen - True Love

I remember a boy who loved to cry as a child. He was older than me by three years, yet was a child three junior levels below me. With so many memories, I had lost count of them all. However, it seemed as though I kept seeing the same one over and over. That said, my memories seemed as if they were submerged in water and couldn't be seen clearly. The only clear memory I had was his crying appearance.

Because of the horse's rampage, he fell off the horse. His eyes resembled the crying eyes of a puppy. Upset and feeling unjustly victimised, he bit his lip and cried while clenching his fists. His clean and fair face was smothered with tears that continued to course down his face. The dirt on his face was smudged, leaving his face looking filthy.

"How repulsive," was what I thought at the time.

Despite my distaste for him, as long as I called for him, he'd immediately wipe his tears and run to me.

"Martial Grandaunt, you must be hungry… Let me piggy back you to go eat."

He then struggled to put me on his back. I lazed on his back. The sunlight that day was very smoothing. I enjoyed the sunlight with my eyes squinted as I looked at the narrow back in front of me.

"How small… His hands and feet are both small. He's only five or six, isn't he?" I thought.

I can't remember that time period too vividly now. Perhaps it was because I was just a kid, as well, at the time.

By the time he was a teenager, I had grown up a bit, too. I gradually came to learn who he was. He was my martial grandnephew, while I was his martial grandaunt.

He didn't cry any more at that stage; nevertheless, his situation wasn't any better than during his younger years. He was dull compared to his martial siblings. What took others a day to achieve, often took him three to four days of practice. He'd frown and look melancholic due to the confusion and struggle.

His shifu, my martial nephew, said that his potential was close to non-existent. He was often called a stupid block of wood. As a result, his homework continued to pile up.

I was very angry. I walked up to my martial nephew one day and stomped on his foot, "Ming Huayu! Why are you so naughty?! If you don't let him take breaks, who's going to play with me?"

"Martial Aunt, why are you here to sabotage things? He is halfway through Yijin Jing, so it is inappropriate for him to play with you at the moment. If his true qi spirals out of control, we will have trouble on our hands."

I had no clue what he was talking about. I pouted and stamped my foot so loudly that you could clearly hear each stomp. I repetitively yelled, "I don't care! I don't care! I don't care! I want him! I want him!"

The young boy came over. He had already grown a lot taller than me by that stage. I was sulking and making a scene until he picked me up out of habit. I stopped crying without even realising it. I wrapped my small arms around his shoulders that were gradually growing sturdier. For some reason, I felt safe and assured on his back.

"Shifu, I shall play with Martial Grandaunt for now and practice at night."

At the time, I didn't realise that I left him sleep deprived at night, since I had him play with me every day. He had lots of studying to begin with, so when coupled with me taking up his time, he, consequently, had less sleep than other disciples.

We kept it up until I turned twenty. At the time, I wilfully forced him to follow me around everywhere I wanted to go. One night, when I had nothing to do, I opened my door to hear someone training outside. That was when I noticed that he was training a style that I didn't recognise whatsoever. I had no idea what he was training, but I could see that he was very invested and focused when I saw his expression. He trained until morning and dropped on the ground due to exhaustion. Only then did he fall asleep on the ground in front of my room.

I opened my window slightly to observe his sleeping appearance. As I silently peered at his face, my face felt slightly warm.

"When did I fall for him?" I asked myself.

I looked up to the moon and spaced out. Melancholy invaded into my heart. I suppose I fell for him when I saw his sleeping face.

"Miss. Miss"

I came back to my senses and faintly replied, "Yeah?"

It was the owner of Ethereal Beauty Boat who called me. Heavenly Fragrance Garden was established by the imperial court, but due to the high financial investments required to run brothels, the imperial court invited investors. One of said investors was Ethereal Beauty Boat's proprietor, Boss Dong.

Boss Dong knew that I hailed from the martial world, and therefore slightly feared me. Boss Dong rubbed his hands together with his eyes narrowed. He bowed as though I was his master. "Miss, you are my Ethereal Beauty Boat's most, I meant, the capital's most valuable courtesan. Your current worth has far surpassed the record held by previous courtesans. You are now worth five-hundred and fifty thousand taels according to our equal split deal. You are our source of income."

Afterwards, person after person came up to me to take turns repeating the compliment. Only then did I remember that I was working as a courtesan at Ethereal Beauty Boat, and tonight was the night I offered myself up.

Feizhen's threat from that day didn't deter them from coming. To the contrary, they assigned more bodyguards to me.

The sight of the men who packed the seats grossed me out. Their jealous and vengeful gazes were focused on one of the men. The man had his teeth clenched, but he was helpless. Judging from his demeanour, he must've made the five-hundred and fifty thousand taels bid. I was totally oblivious to the fact that the bidding had ended. I returned to my senses and asked, "It's over?"

"It is," replied Boss Dong, who couldn't stop laughing. "Duke Zheng's eldest son will also go on to become nobility. Miss, you have become a noble. You will go on to become a duchess. Please do not forget about me."

Young Master Zheng, who was in the distance, was a man who was as fat and round as a ball. He was the one who insulted me on board that day and angered Ming Feizhen into rampaging, eventually leading to him slicing the boat. He ogled me as though he was stripping me down with his eyes. He was absolutely rude. I could see a tinge of displeasure, but also his desire for me to make eye contact with him. I knew what sort of repulsive ideas he had in mind, but I no longer had the energy to bother with those lame men.

"Duchess…" I mumbled despite not knowing what I mumbled.

I gazed at the moon and spaced out. The moonlight was gentle as water, immersing me in a fantastical air.

"This is a dream – a nightmare to be correct – one that I can't break free of. Will all of this just be a memory after tonight?" I asked myself.

I shut my eyes. The surroundings seemingly went quiet then eventually silent. All the strength in my body seemed to leak out of my body.

Cousin said that I was a genius at learning martial arts. Supposedly, my level of talent was extremely rare to chance upon. I liked to be whimsical with training and take shortcuts with internal strength development. As a result, even if my skills were to improve, they would lack the fundamental requirements to maximise them. I never took his criticism to heart until I fell ill on Mount Daluo and realised he was telling the truth.

My heart was dying and so was my body.

'Feizhen… tonight might be the night I die. I know you don't like me. I've always treated your poorly from when we were kids. I was wilful and unreasonable but was your senior. Despite how abhorrent I was, I fell for you. You must think that I'm a pain and shameless, huh? I still really, really want to see you again, nonetheless. I want to travel to all sorts of different places on your back as we did when we were kids. I'll depend on you and cling to you as I did when we were young. We'll be the same as we were when we were kids. How nice would that be?'

The surrounding sounds gradually faded. It was the same as sinking into the sea where nothing could be heard. My eyelids felt so heavy that I couldn't open them.

'I'm going to die now, aren't I?'

Suddenly, a voice broke the silence.

"Out of my way! Young Shiyi, where are you?"

I think I heard the young boy's voice over and over in my mind. He anxiously called out to me as if I would disappear.