January 22, 2011 Hello, Anthony, are you receiving my e-mails? I know that you have learned of John's decision. I would like to talk to you and Claire. We need to be sure this job thing doesn't affect our family relationship. Let me talk to you about John and his reasoning. Please pass this on to Claire. I will be home all weekend, she can call anytime. Thanks. Em.

January 17, 2011 Mrs. Rawlings is unable to respond to your request at this time.

Patricia M.

January 15, 2011 Hi, Anthony and Claire, I had hoped we could talk, but I haven't been able to reach you. John is meeting with Tom on Monday. It would be nice if I could talk with Claire and settle a few things before John's meeting. I hope you check your e-mails on the weekend. I will be waiting for your or Claire's call. By the way, I saw some of your wedding photos in the grocery store this morning. You two looked wonderful. Please call.

January 4, 2011 Mrs. Rawlings is unable to respond to your request at this time.

Patricia M.

January 3, 2011 Hi, Anthony, I need to speak to Claire again. I'm not sure if she told you, but I brought up John's job offer the other day. I've been thinking about it, and feel guilty. It wasn't fair of me to talk to her about it. I know you all have a lot going on. John wanted to know if she had anything to do with your offer. I could tell she really didn't know about it. I need to tell her I'm sorry for putting her in a difficult position. I appreciate what you are offering John. I am trying to stay out of his decision process. But I would like to talk to Claire some more; it was so nice to see more of her during the wedding. Please ask her to call me, and tell her I love her. The photos of you two on the news were amazing. Thanks again for the transportation and the stay in your home. It was beautiful. Thank you, Emily This history was stapled together. Claire's eyes were wet by the time she finished Emily's last or first e-mail. She looked up at Tony. He still didn't speak; his dark eyes glared. Claire wondered what she was supposed to do with this information. Perhaps it was her head, but she truly didn't know how to respond, so she asked, "Thank you for giving me my invitations, now what am I supposed to do with this knowledge?"

"Tell me what you want to do." His tone was hard.

Claire rose and approached his desk. "I want to call her." She saw the deliberation on his face. She remembered a time when she was unable to read his expression-her ability wasn't comforting. Claire tried desperately to modulate her voice. "I'll do it here on the speaker phone. I don't care if you listen to every word and tell me what to say-I just want to call her." He still didn't speak; nevertheless, the intensity in his eyes multiplied. "Tony, may I please call her?"

"It's almost 3:00 PM, which would be 4:00 PM in Troy. Would she be home?"

It wasn't an answer, but it wasn't a denial.

Claire thought about it. School finished at 3:15 PM, at least it used to. "She might." As if thinking out loud, she added, "And as a plus John won't be."

He didn't respond to her last statement, instead he began to talk about her e-mails. She sat as he explained that the folder included multiple e-mails from people she didn't know. Since their marriage, many people have attempted to contact her for various reasons. Patricia replied to everyone: Mrs. Rawlings is unable to respond to your request at this time.

Tony continued, "Your preparation for the Vanity Fair interview and execution today impressed me. I also appreciate you made requests a month ago and have been patient. I believe you deserve to be rewarded. Therefore, regarding your e-mails-from now on-before Patricia replies-you will have the opportunity to review them. We will discuss them. Together we'll decide responses. Of course, I'll have the final say-however; I believe you've earned a voice."

Claire realized Tony believed he'd presented her with a freedom. She couldn't help think it was-instead-only a glimpse of what she was missing. The forbidden opportunities would now be staring her in the face. "Thank you-I understand."

He turned to his computer screens, and she watched the back of his head for what seemed like hours. He knew what she wanted. She'd made her request. Now he was making her wait. How would she respond? He'd provided a token of his approval. Would she submissively accept or would she pursue the idea of calling her sister?

Claire closed her eyes and tried to stop the pounding in her temples. Perched on the chair's edge near his desk, she refused to budge. The folder-the gift he'd given her-sat closed on her lap. She didn't care about people she didn't know, and her head hurt too much to read anymore. She waited as his fingers flew between the keyboard and mouse. Sitting silently and expressionlessly she remembered Courtney's kind words: Life isn't a test you must continually pass. Claire absentmindedly rolled her shoulders and straightened her neck. If her only possibility of calling Emily was passing this test, then by God, she wasn't moving from this seat. Finally, he turned to face her.

"Why have you not called until now?" He presented his question with harsh overtones.

Thinking out loud, she said, "I've been busy-I can tell her about the Red Cross and preparing for our interview."

What followed were not suggestions-but orders-"You will be apologetic and explain that you have been meaning to call. Seeing her recent e-mail reminded you-you haven't. Your reasons sound valid. I'd prefer you didn't discuss the job situation-it's done, and of course, there are no hard feelings."

The directives should have been upsetting, but she'd played this game before-they were the means to her goal. "Yes, I promise."

He dialed the phone, put it on speaker, and didn't bother to turn away. The phone rang three times. Claire's hopes began to sink until finally Emily answered.

"Hi, Emily, it's Claire." Emily's voice brimmed with excitement. Claire's sounded happy and apologetic. They spoke for about ten minutes. On a few occasions, Tony indicated that the subject needed to be changed. Claire attempted to keep the discussion away from the job, but Emily was determined to discuss it, explaining how John was currently very close to being named partner. He didn't feel right abandoning the firm that had taken a chance on him when he first graduated. He'd worked hard to get to his position and didn't feel right working for family; however, he was very honored Anthony would consider hiring him. They also discussed Emily's class, and she asked about the interview Claire mentioned. Before they hung up Claire promised to do a better job responding to Emily's e-mails.

It amazed Claire how one phone call could make her both happy and sad. Maintaining her happy voice during the call almost reduced her to tears on its completion; her energy was totally depleted. "If it's all right with you, I'll take the folder upstairs and look through it. We can discuss the e-mails after dinner."

"That's fine, you may go."

Once upstairs, Claire decided to nap instead of looking through the folder. It'd been a long day. The contrast between the interview and her reality intensified the pounding behind her eyes and more recent nausea. She took some acetaminophen, crawled between the soft cool sheets, and allowed the tears from the phone call to flow. Sleep was a welcome escape.

It wasn't long after she fell asleep when Tony woke her. He wanted to thank her again for her performance during the interview-he also believed she wanted to thank him.

This only is denied even to God, the power to undo the past.

-Agathon

Chapter Thirty-Seven.

On March 15, Tony brought home the final copy of the article approved by Shelly. It was scheduled to be published the end of March, officially the April 2011 issue of Vanity Fair: Anthony Rawlings Introduces the World to the Love of his Life, His Wife Claire Rawlings-Let the Rumors Cease and Learn how She has Changed His Life By: Anne Robinson Photos by: Shaun Stivert You don't marry someone you can live with, you marry the person who you cannot live without-Unknown author On a beautiful snowy day, in the Midwest, Mr. and Mrs. Anthony Rawlings sat down with Vanity Fair and addressed the questions, rumors, and realities of their acquaintance, courtship, engagement, and marriage. The exceedingly private man and his beautiful new bride graciously opened their home to our photographers and interviewer. (Photo of Tony and Claire dressed in casual elegant slacks and sweaters, sitting on a sofa in their gorgeous sitting room.) The home of Anthony and Claire Rawlings is a stately 6,000 plus acre estate near Iowa City, Iowa.-Their residence is a spacious elegant home secluded within the private gates of this countryside.

Built by Mr. Rawlings approximately sixteen years ago, it resembles a 1940's Romanesque-style mansion- The main house is centered upon a round brick drive. Projecting from the main structure are wings of additional corridors and rooms. Upon entry you may feel you have entered a museum; however, the warmth and love radiated by the newlyweds soon help you to realize you have entered a family home; a quality Mr. Rawlings states was missing until recently.

It was late May of 2010 when Anthony Rawlings first introduced the city of Davenport to the then Claire Nichols. They attended the Quad City Symphony. Mr. Rawlings was asked to attend the event because of a generous donation made to both the Quad City Symphony and the Support the Arts Foundation. Mr. Rawlings has long been known for his generosity and pursuit of philanthropic endeavors. He is a firm believer in the arts and continues to support endeavors that promote artistic pursuits. As a local celebrity, Mr. Rawlings is often seen attending functions in and around the Quad Cities (as well as in cities like Chicago, New York, and Los Angeles).

It was his companion on that evening that was unfamiliar. He has been seen on various occasions with different women, some with names we recognize, such as Cynthia Simmons and Julia Owens. Truthfully, throughout his forty-six years he has been seen with many beautiful women; however, it was apparent to those present on that evening in May, that this was different. Many on-lookers reported "glances" and "hand holding" that were not witnessed before.

When discussing their first public "date," Vanity Fair noted that the new Mrs. Rawlings couldn't help look at her husband with blushed cheeks and a bashful smile. She stated that she recalled the standing ovation he received and how handsome she thought he looked. But she hastily added that at that time, neither of them was looking for a "long-term" relationship.

Anthony said that he recalls seeing Claire when he picked her up for the symphony. He even recalled her outfit, a black dress with a beaded bodice, and that her hair was up with curls. (Anthony gently played with his wife's hair as he described the style.) He remembered that she was stunning and he was proud to accompany her to the event.

VF: Now, ladies, ask your husband if he remembers what you were wearing on that first date! I had to think that Mr. Rawlings should have realized at that moment his heart was lost. I wanted to know how the two of them got to that first date. How did they meet?

Anthony told the story of meeting Claire in Atlanta, Georgia- VF:Was it "love" at first sight?

They smiled at one another. Claire shook her head. "Probably not," and she added, "Anthony is a complicated, private man. You can love the wrapping paper, but with him it takes some time to find out what is inside. I wouldn't give my life to someone without knowing what is inside the package."

"What is love? Love is when one person knows all of your secrets, your deepest, darkest, most dreadful secrets of which no one else in the world knows. And yet in the end, that one person does not think any less of you."

Mrs. Rawlings added she has seen the inside of the package and loves it more than the wrapping paper.

VF: Mrs. Rawlings, can you share some of your findings with our readers? What have you found under that amazing wrapping paper?

Blushing slightly at the inference, she quickly recovered. "Well, he isn't exactly how he appears." Anthony seemed to be interested in what she was about to reveal. Claire continued, "For example, he has been known to hold webinars and web conferences from home in a shirt, tie, suit jacket, gym shorts, and sneakers." She smiled at her husband, who playfully shook his head. He responded, "Great. Now I'm going to have to stand before each webinar to alleviate the participants' curiosity." He smiled broadly. When asked if anything else surprised her about Anthony, after some reflection she answered yes. He is a Vikings fan. They both grinned. Being originally from Indiana, Mrs. Rawlings said she couldn't imagine she would marry anyone who isn't a Colts fan. Anthony made a comment about real football teams that play outdoors, and Claire was quick to mention two recent trips to the Super Bowl. Their playful banter was enjoyable to observe.

VF: Have you two had any arguments, disagreements, or fights?

"No!" They answered simultaneously and laughed. Anthony took the lead on this question. "Of course. I can't imagine spending quality time with someone and always agreeing. That is not what I want in my life. There are multitudes of people in my life that will agree with my every thought. Claire has 'stood up' to me in ways that captains of business have not. Her strength and determination are what I fell in love with." Tenderly wrapping his arm around her shoulders, he added, "As well as her beauty and intelligence."

After smiling at Anthony, Claire added, "I have been told that some of those qualities can be infuriating." This reporter enjoyed Anthony's dismissal of that comment.

VF: Will either of you share the story of the proposal?

Claire volunteered, "Oh, I will. He was amazing. First, it was dinner in Manhattan. He took me to the theater district. We dined at the Crown Plaza Hotel and our table had a view of Times Square. I had no idea what his plans were for the evening, he enjoys surprises. After dinner we went to see 'The Merchant of Venice' with Al Pacino, fantastic by the way. Afterward, I was honestly tired and ready to go back to my hotel. But instead we went to Central Park." Laughing she recalled, "It was very cold that night, the night before Thanksgiving. It hadn't snowed, but it was very cold; however, he planned for that with mittens and blankets". After each sentence she looked into his eyes. Even this reporter saw the twinkle in her green eyes as she recounted his proposal. Claire went on to say, "I did not expect a proposal. I was completely shocked. But there he was, in a horse-drawn carriage in Central Park, under the lights, with a diamond ring."

Vanity Fair will add that her diamond ring is actually a designer original Tiffany & Co. 4.3 carat brilliant center stone bordered by a delicate diamond bead set in mil-grain detail in platinum. The matching wedding band is also platinum, with delicate inset diamonds. While actual value would not be released by Mr. Rawlings or Tiffany & Co., New York, where he is said to have purchased the set, due to the size, clarity, and unique cut, it is estimated above 400 thousand dollars.

VF: Did you say yes immediately? (Now come on, ladies, think about what you would have done.) Claire sat back. "No." At this Anthony smiled and put his hand on his wife's knee. He goes on with the answer, "No, she didn't. She made me wait for what seemed like an eternity." But leaning over to kiss his bride, he added, "She finally relented. And I was elated."

The worst thing you can do for love is deny it; so when you find that special someone, don't let anyone or anything get in your way.

VF: Now some people have questioned the quickness of your nuptials. What do you have to say to those critiques?

Anthony answered, "I guess they have never been as in love." Claire continued, "We didn't want to wait. We made our decision. We wanted our family and friends to share in our happiness."

VF: The personal accounts were extremely complimentary. How did you pull off the wedding of the century in less than a month?

Mrs. Rawlings replied, "With the best wedding planner and coordinator in the world! They were amazing. We never worried about a thing."

According to the press releases the wedding was magnificent. The bride was gorgeous in an exquisite Vera Wang gown, reportedly from an elite Manhattan boutique. The groom was dazzling in a custom Armani tuxedo-(Photo of Mr. and Mrs. Rawlings in wedding attire standing at the base of the grand stairway, decorations can be seen behind them. Note: multiple wedding pictures and decorations can be seen in a collage of pictures at the end of the article.) VF: Addressing Claire Rawlings, how has it been to be thrust into the public eye?

Claire blushed and glanced at Anthony. "May I say first I don't feel that I'm a celebrity? I've done nothing to warrant celebrity status. That's why when you ask your question, the first response I think of is, it's been unreal. I still find it amazing that anyone would think my clothes, shopping habits, or hairstyle newsworthy. It's something that I'm learning to handle. Anthony has been superb at buffering the media as much as possible."

Claire added, "You can be overwhelming at times." Addressing this reporter, she continued, "You meaning the press," smiling a lovely smile, "not you; however, if being married to this marvelous man means seeing myself on an occasional magazine," she leans toward his protection, "it's more than worth it." Mr. Rawlings included that he desired to shelter her from too much unwanted exposure. After all, he prefers to remain as private as possible.

As the couple walked hand in hand to share a tour of their home it wasn't hard to imagine that a splendid wedding ceremony could easily occur within these walls. The grand hall is breathtaking on this February afternoon. The two-story winding staircase ascended to a railed landing which appeared to extend down various hallways. The ceiling, at least another story high, holds a magnificent chandelier that illuminates the foyer.

The intricate marble flooring extends behind the stairs to a window-lined sitting room. These areas were all utilized during the ceremony. Beyond the sitting room, which also contains a magnificent fireplace, is a comfortable sun porch that Mrs. Rawlings says is one of her favorite rooms in their home. She enjoys reading and sunlight very much. Even in the winter months, if it's not too cold she can enjoy the sun's rays on the porch; however, it is in the summer with the windows open and the fresh breeze that the room is ideal.

Not far from these exquisite rooms is a grand dining room that the newlyweds claim to utilize regularly. Mr. Rawlings commented that just being with his bride is a special occasion worthy of formal dining. Beyond the sun porch this reporter could see the expanse of their backyard. Apparently, during the wedding it contained a large tent that created the hall for their reception. On this day it was snow covered and pristine. The yard is encased by trees. Currently, the trees are bare and one can see into the depths of the forest, but Anthony explained that within months the green leaves will obstruct the view and the lawn will appear an oasis in itself. He also pointed out the deck, pool area, and patio. He is proud of the house. He offers that he helped design it from memories and ideas from other dwellings. He believes the result is exquisite, and this reporter agrees wholeheartedly.

Mr. Rawlings also showed Vanity Fair his home office. As an entrepreneur who began his fortune with the Internet, it seems only appropriate that his home contained high-tech electronics. Not only does his desk contain multiple computer screens, but behind his desk on the wall was also a collage of screens, second only to the ones this reporter has seen in television studios. His office is decorated in a masculine tone of wood and leather. When asked if he often works from home, Anthony responds that he does when he can. It gives him an excuse to be close to Claire when she is not out and about. (Photo of Mr. Rawlings behind his impressive desk, working on his computer with screens illuminated behind him.) Mrs. Rawlings took that opportunity to tell Vanity Fair a little about her recent philanthropic endeavor. While working as a meteorologist, Claire saw the damage and devastation that natural disasters can wreak upon our country. She never imagined that she'd be in a position where she could make a difference to people, but now she is. Claire has recently begun to work with the Red Cross of Iowa, the Greater Quad Cities, and of the United States. She's been diligently working to facilitate their fund-raising efforts. The economy has had a dreadful effect on the Red Cross's reserves. These are essential for the organization to be able to continue their efforts on a daily basis and especially in case of disaster. The sad reality is that the reserve is dwindling. With Anthony's connections and her understanding of disasters and the resources needed, she hopes to be of help to the organization. Anthony's admiration for his wife's endeavors is evident in his expression as she discusses the work the Red Cross can do, if adequately funded.

The tour continued to the lower level of the main house, where a large welcoming entertainment/ recreation room exists. There's a pool table, game table, comfortable sofas and chairs, a large flat-screen television with four smaller screens surrounding it, and a handsome handcrafted mahogany bar with intricate tile in the mini kitchen behind the bar. Adjoining this room is a theater room complete with plush seating for six, and a screen large enough for twenty-six. The other direction from the recreation room leads to an exercise gym, with every piece of exercise equipment you would want or need. Mr. Rawlings explained that he likes to workout. He finds himself needing to burn off energy after a day of business dealings, which usually occur while seated. Vanity Fair notes that he appears fit, as does Mrs. Rawlings. She led our crew to her favorite workout, an indoor lap pool complete with spa and sauna. Claire Rawlings said she prefers the outdoor pool, but during the colder months-which are numerous in Iowa-the indoor pool is an ideal alternative.

Back in the sitting room, Vanity Fair tries once again to learn more about this stunning couple. (Photo of the couple with warm coats standing on the front steps of their home and another of them sitting on the floor before a roaring fire in a grand six-foot tall fireplace. Note the portrait of Mrs. Rawlings in her wedding gown above the fireplace.) VF: Mrs. Rawlings, how do you feel about living in Iowa after living in Atlanta, Georgia?

Rubbing the sleeves of her soft cashmere sweater, Claire responded, "I would gladly live any place with Anthony; however, if he chose some place warmer it would be all right." They both smile. "Seriously," she continued, "I grew up in Indiana. Iowa isn't much different. The Midwest is a beautiful area. I love sunshine and warmth, but the change of seasons and newness of each spring is in my blood. From my short experience with Iowa, I think it is a wonderful state with wonderful people."

VF: It was rumored that you, Anthony, wanted to surprise your wife with your honeymoon destination. Is that true?

Smiling with a smirking grin, he answered, "Yes, I tried diligently to surprise Claire for our honeymoon. And I almost succeeded." VF had to ask, "Almost?"

Anthony looked at his wife, she continued the story. "He would have succeeded had it not been for the TSA agent in Hawaii." Mrs. Rawlings was obviously amused by the story. "I wasn't the least bit upset. I'd sought to learn the destination for some time. No one would betray his confidence, no matter how much I tried. So after arriving in Oahu, Hawaii, all I knew was that we had farther to fly and we were crossing the International Date Line."

Anthony chimed in, "Actually, she figured that out from a hint," and he winked at Claire.

She continued, "So when the agent looked at our passports and asked our destination, I wasn't able to answer." Smiling, she added, "But Anthony had to. And it was then I learned that we were going to Fiji." (Photo released by the Rawlings of the two of them dining on a torch-lit deck with a magnificent sunset and the ocean in front of them.) VF: Mrs. Rawlings, were you pleased with your husband's destination choice? Some women would want to be more involved in the planning.

"That may be true, but my husband planned ten days in paradise. It was amazing. I've never experienced anything like it. It was a tropical oasis. I know we have pictures for your publication, but honestly photos can't do it justice. The climate, atmosphere, cuisine, beach," and leaning close to Anthony, smiling into his big brown eyes, "his company, all made it a dream. I'm not sure heaven can compare."

VF: So you did not mind not being involved in the planning?

"If all his decisions are as amazing as our honeymoon, I do not mind at all." He kissed her cheek.

"I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel."

Anthony added, "I have had many years of living on my own, making my own decisions, and doing everything for my benefit. I have learned that people remember most how you make them feel. I try to work my business with that in mind. When I negotiate with someone, they will forget what I say or what I do, but they will not forget how I make them feel. Do they feel important to the deal? Do they feel central to the transaction? I wanted our honeymoon to be special because it would benefit me." His smile looked mischievous to this reporter. "; however, I wanted it to be special so that Claire would feel special and know how important she is to me." He no doubt had her full attention during his statement, and this reporter would guess during their stay in paradise. Mr. Rawlings seems to have the gift of making everyone feel special. Claire agreed he has made her feel special since they first met.

VF: Vanity Fair would like to thank you for taking the time to allow us into your home. Now is it true you have other homes besides this one?

Anthony answered, "Due to my multiple business sites and intensive travel schedule we do own a few apartments here and there. It makes traveling much easier." (Insert text box of real estate holdings of Mr. and Mrs. Anthony Rawlings.) VF: Mr. Rawlings, your answer about "we" owning brings VF to another more controversial subject. May I ask about the debate regarding the lack of a prenuptial agreement prior to your marriage?

"I would prefer you didn't; however, the only way to stop the rumors is to address them. First let me say there was no debate. We did not consider a prenuptial agreement, much less debate one." Taking his wife's hand in his, he continued, "I'm elated to have the world get to know my wife. Mrs. Claire Rawlings is an amazing woman. She did not know who I was when we met. She has told me exactly what she thinks of me or of my actions and not always in a complimentary manner. She did not anticipate a marriage proposal on that cold," he smiled at Claire, "night in Central Park. I trust her implicitly. I have worked my entire life to build a business empire. It means nothing without someone with whom to share. I did not feel it was fair to ask her to sign a piece of paper that would restrict her partnership with me in any way. She is my wife and I am her husband. It may not be PC to say this today, but we believe in forever, in trust, and in love. A piece of paper is not going to matter when we are old and gray. We decided together that our commitment to one another is stronger than any legal agreement." Mrs. Rawlings squeezed his hand. "Like it is said in a movie, she completes me."

VF: Thank you again for the brief glimpse into your life. Below is a quote that was recited during your wedding ceremony. To our readers, it was meant as a dual statement to both of them, from each of them.

I love you not only for what you are, but for what I am when I am with you. I love you not only for what you have made of yourself, but for what you are making of me. I love you for the part of me that you bring out. -Roy Croft (Photo collage at the end includes photos of home: grand hall, sitting room, library, office, dining room, recreation room, exercise room, theater room, and indoor pool. Also included are wedding photos: of ceremony, reception, with cake, talking with guests, and dancing. There are a few of Fiji, the private island where the couple stayed, the beach, infinity pool, lounging decks, and outdoor shower.) *

Claire read the copy and imagined the photos which would be inserted. It truly appeared perfect.

Three days later, on the March 18, Tony surprised Claire with a long weekend getaway to Lake Tahoe. The beautiful snowy mountains filled with skiing, roaring fires, and hot coffee made for a great escape. The ski resort, literally a mile above sea level, had crystal-clear air that permeated deep into their lungs. The mountains provided the most amazing skiing with over a hundred inches of base and freshly fallen powder. The tall majestic evergreens bowed to the weight of the snow which layered each branch. Their small, private chalet held amazing views, warm fires, and no cook. For the first time in a year, despite limited supplies, Claire managed to keep them from starving. With the intensity of their exercise-both indoors and out-she was pleased he liked her cooking. A while ago she'd heard some advice. Eating was important to keep up their strength.

Warm, naked, and covered with a soft blanket, she rested her head against his chest. Claire contemplated the significance of this weekend as they rested in the afterglow of their love and the glow of fireplace. Three hundred and sixty-six days ago she'd been a different person-in a different life. It wasn't that her life now was bad. It was just that the transition had been unplanned-unwanted-and well-brutal. She needed to hear her husband's answer to the question lingering in her mind. "Tony, why are we here this weekend?"

They both watched the crackling blaze as his strong arms encircled her petite body. He took a deep breath and replied, "I didn't want you home in your suite this weekend. I wanted you outside in fresh air." He felt her chest lift, then drop, and heard the soft sniffles. Damn-the crying was what he'd been trying to avoid. Nuzzling his face in her hair, he kissed her head. "If it hadn't happened, we wouldn't be here now. There's a reason for everything."

He tenderly turned her to face him, and then rolled her over onto her back. Her blonde hair fanned out onto the rug like a halo. He looked down at her angelic face. Even with the moisture, her eyes were stunning. The tears only made the green more intense in the firelight. Tony couldn't help himself, she was beautiful, sensual, and he wanted her. His bare chest pushed against her supple breasts. He tenderly caressed her pink cheeks and soft shoulders as he looked into her eyes. "I'm not sorry we're together, but I'm so sorry when I think about...remember the things I-"

Claire stopped him. Shaking her head, she put her fingers to his lips. He stopped talking and kissed her hand, gently sucking the tip of each finger. "Please, Tony. Don't. I don't want to remember or think about that." Her voice sounded amazingly steady despite the tears which now streamed from the corners of her eyes. "I want to think about now."

"But you should know-"

"All I know is that I love you today-I hated you then-It's too much of a contrast for my mind to comprehend. I want to concentrate on today."

"I love you today, too. Tell me what I can do to help. Claire, anything you want-it's yours."

"I want you-I want you to love me and fill me with so many good memories that I don't have room for the others." She kissed her husband. "Tony, fill me completely."

Claire wasn't thinking. Her body was in control; more accurately, out of control, moving in sync with desire. She didn't think, because she feared that if she did, it would be about the past and not the present. Instead, she surrendered her body and her mind to her husband. There was a time she'd tried to keep her mind, but no longer. He possessed both.

His lips found her soft skin and watched as her eyes responded. He wanted to see the spark, to have it be there. Briefly, he thought about the saying the end justifies the means. If that were true, then he wasn't sorry. In his arms, beneath his body, responding to his touch was the woman he'd watched for so long. He suckled her hard nipples, and she moaned deeply, wanting-no, needing him. At that moment in time, sorry was not his most prominent thought.