October 2 Went to the set today with Jeremy. I met Jessamine. I think the bitch is jealous of me. Jeremy had a few too many drinks after dinner, so here I am, bored and alone. Not much else to write...

I narrowed my eyes. "What the hell? She's keeping an online diary? She's blogging? This doesn't even make sense. She didn't go to the set with me until today-"

"It's not her. One of the entries was posted during the time she was tied to the bed. She wasn't blogging. I was there. Another one was posted about an hour ago."

"That wasn't her either. So what's going on?"

"Someone is posing as her and blogging about your life together, for whatever reason. Some of the posts are explicit. Imaginative."

I looked up at him in alarm.

"Not that imaginative. It's not someone who knows what she is to you. But someone is making stuff up that's pretty racy. Not to mention defamatory to Nell. This writer paints her as a gold digger, and someone who's using you for sex. Ironic," he added with a smirk.

"It's not funny. I'm not laughing."

"No, I agree, it's not funny. That's why I wanted you to see it right away. It not only reflects badly on her if people buy into this, it reflects badly on you."

"Why? Why would someone do this?"

Kyle shrugged. "I dunno. Jealousy. Sour grapes. Boredom. Overactive imagination. You know how some of the fans get."

I stared at the computer screen. "Fuck." The elusive peace, the satisfaction and calm I'd felt after my scene with Nell came crashing down. "What the fuck? Why are people so idiotic? This person has to stop. This has to come down. Call Martin and see what we can do about this."

"I already have, but I had to leave a message. I'll try again in the morning."

"Let him know I want this taken down. Full press. Whatever has to be done."

"I will."

"And don't tell her about this. She's already-" I waved my hand. "She's not handling the exposure very well."

"Isn't she?" Kyle looked at me and waited. "Do you...? Should I...? Do you want to-"

"No. I'll handle it."

"I never even considered... She didn't seem that shy the night I met her, not the way she is now. If I had known-"

"She's not shy. She's just freaked out a little. We'll handle it, like I said. Jesus, I worked too hard to get her here to let her go now."

"I'm glad to hear it's working out." He looked at me again, an assessing look that annoyed me.

"Anything else?" I asked.

He looked up, and I followed his gaze to where Nell stood in the shadow of the door.

"Hello," he said to her.

"Hi, Kyle."

Nell frowned at him the way she always did, but Kyle... I was trying to understand the look on his face. I sobered when I placed it. Reluctant infatuation. His eyes returned to mine.

"That's all I wanted to show you," Kyle said then, closing his laptop. "I'll leave you alone. I'm sure you're both tired," he added with a barely concealed smirk.

Disrespectful little fuck. He had a smirk for every situation. After the door closed, I turned to Nell, who still stood watching me warily from the doorway.

"Is everything okay?" she asked.

I tried not to let my uneasiness show. "Everything's fine. Just some nutjob fan-"

I stopped talking as alarm washed across her features.

"It's nothing, Nell. It goes on all the time."

"There are a lot of them out there, I guess. Crazy fans."

"Yes. But you're not to worry about it. It's not your problem." Not if I don't tell you about it. I looked at her, the girl I'd made so vulnerable. What was this novel emotion I was feeling? Guilt? "Look, would you like to sit and have a beer with me before bed?"

"I can't drink a beer before bed. I'm sorry. I don't have your magic metabolism. That reminds me. Do they have yoga classes here, do you think?"

"If you need a yoga class, you'll have one. I'll tell Kyle."

"I can try to find one myself-"

"Kyle will help you," I insisted. "I know you aren't crazy about each other, but I trust him to do what I want him to do, and that includes looking after you. There's a great gym here too, downstairs. Just tell Kyle when you want to go, and he'll take you. I don't want you going anywhere alone."

The last part slipped out, and the alarm was back again.

"Why can't I go alone if it's in the hotel?"

"Because I don't want you to. Don't question me, okay?"

She gave me a long, probing look. I tried to exude utter nonchalance.

"Okay," she finally conceded. "Anyway, I'll sit with you if you like, but I'll just drink some water instead of a beer."

She was leaning against the door in her sexy, transparent pajamas, trying to look awake for my benefit.

"No, go to bed," I said. "But come kiss me first."

She crossed to me as if it might be a trick, as if it weren't possible that all I wanted was a kiss. I drew her into my lap when she was close enough. I ran my hands down her arms, then encircled her waist and pulled her close. I lowered my lips to hers, kissing her softly, gently. She curled into me, pressed against me, open, relaxed, available, sweet.

She smelled clean from the shower and tasted like toothpaste. My fresh, minty girl. I felt dirty and despicable in contrast for what I was doing to her, the freaks and nuts I was exposing her to.

But I need her.

I deepened the kiss, then pulled away just as quickly. I nudged her off my lap.

"Okay, then. Well, good night. I have to look over some lines anyway. I don't want to keep you up."

"Okay. Good night, Jeremy."

I watched her cross to her room and close the door behind her after one last shy glance at me. Kyle's news might have ultimately ruined the evening, but it had still been a success because of that look she gave me. Because of the kiss.

For the first time she hadn't tensed or held herself away. Intimacy bred intimacy, I thought, even if the intimacy was the basely sexual kind. Perhaps especially if the intimacy was the basely sexual kind. Things would go a lot easier when she felt more relaxed around me. She'd grow more confident and lose the fear of the photographers and fans. That was the hope anyway, that we would find a symbiosis that benefited us both.

The blogger, though, that was troublesome. Ah well. Until I could speak to Martin, I would try to put it out of my mind.

I looked over lines instead, and when I had a pretty good handle on them, I stood up to drag myself to bed.

To my bed? No.

Without thinking about it, I headed to hers. I pulled the covers down and pulled her close to me, not caring if I woke her. I needed her body against mine.

Maybe I'd ask her from now on to sleep in my bed. Nightly cuddle time. Why not, if that was what I wanted?

She was mine to do with as I pleased.

Chapter Twelve.

Routines *

I loved the mornings. Well, I actually had two mornings in my life as Jeremy's paid companion. I had the morning before dawn when Jeremy woke me up to fuck me, and the second morning, when I woke later, alone.

The first morning was okay. It was nice actually. Before the end of the first week, Jeremy had decided that while we would keep separate rooms, I was to sleep in his bed, and the morning sex began soon after that.

I was a snuggler, so I had no problem with sleeping in his bed. I loved curling up next to him. The best nights were the nights after a long, intense scene when he'd clasp me close in his arms, and I'd feel my sore, naked ass rubbing against the scratchy hair of his muscular upper thighs.

Then in the morning, always, he woke up hard. He was ridiculously randy for a man his age. If he had to work, he'd nudge into me from behind and fuck me quick and dirty. By this point we'd had follow-up blood tests, so there was no fumbling around with condoms. If it was a weekend morning, or if he had a late report time to the set, he would take more time, demand more adventurous things. Blowjobs, ass fucking, violating me with some kinky new toy while I masturbated him. One blessed morning, I woke up to him lapping avidly between my legs.

But when he had work, he left, and most mornings I stayed in bed a few more hours, just luxuriating in the soft, fragrant sheets and the quiet of the empty hotel room, drifting in and out of sleep. I felt like a treasured concubine, utterly relaxed and still humming from morning sex. I had nothing to do, no job but to pamper myself and read or relax until he returned. Not that I did that. Eventually I rolled out of bed to hit the gym or the salon or the yoga studio, with Kyle tagging reluctantly along.

Kyle, that stupid, jerky, gorgeous man. He made a big fuss complaining, to me, never Jeremy, about how he had to drag me all over town. Of course he had no problem tagging along when Jeremy felt like having group sex. He was more than happy to hang out with me then.

The first time Kyle had joined us for sex, we'd been at the set and driven back to the hotel together. Kyle didn't normally come back with us, but this day, he took a seat beside the driver in the front of the black sedan. Jeremy had looked down at me and said, "Kyle is coming back with us to the room."

I looked up at the back of the driver's head. Was he listening? I knew what went on in Jeremy's bedroom was a secret. Of course, to the uninterested party, the fact that Kyle was coming back with us to the room could have signified anything. Dinner, a meeting, documents to sign. But I knew that wasn't why.

Of course, Kyle had already known, already been told that his services would be required tonight in playing with me. I hated myself for the sudden rush of heat between my legs. Jeremy shifted beside me, smiling. Of course Jeremy, of all people, would know that I was turned on by the idea. As much as I despised Kyle, I was excited by the idea of being used by two men at once like the sex toy I was paid to be.

At the same time I was nervous. I mean, I was no stranger to the subtleties of the menage trois, but I wasn't completely sure yet what the dynamic was going to be. Was Kyle only a voyeur for Jeremy's pleasure, or something more? I hadn't quite pinned it down yet.

Jeremy still seemed totally straight to me, but Kyle... I didn't know. I still caught the occasional jealous glance that I really didn't understand. A kind of baleful stare. As it turns out, I was to be the only focus of our sexual romps together, and the only thing they shared.

At the hotel, we all walked into the lobby together, me in the middle, with Jeremy and Kyle on either side. I felt like I must have had a huge scarlet letter hanging on the front of my cardigan. P for pervert, or maybe W for whore. There was an energy, an electricity that flowed among us that I couldn't believe everyone else didn't feel. In the elevator, Jeremy took one of my hands loosely, and Kyle took the other hand. It made me instantly wet.

Up in the room, Jeremy had dinner delivered, and we all sat and ate at the table like three business partners, which I guess we were. Gray, Winchell & Ashton, Limited Liability Pervs. Specializing in the sexual use and objectification of women. All rights reserved. Although at this particular business dinner, the two of them wore their street clothes, while I sat dressed like a slut. But if anyone could eat dinner in a corset and stockings, I could.

After dinner, my attention drifted in and out of Jeremy and Kyle's casual conversation. I snapped to sudden alertness when they started pushing the wineglasses and plates out of the way.

"Lie here on your back," Jeremy said, patting the table.

Kyle watched with that ever-present smirk as I hopped up on the table and let Jeremy arrange me as he wished, which was spread wide and opened up on display.

First, as always, his fingers found my cleft and thrust deep inside. "Jesus, you little slut," he said. "Kyle, feel her. She's fucking wet just thinking about taking two cocks. Aren't you, Nell?"

The correct answer was, of course, "yes, Jeremy." Kyle also fondled me intimately, wiping the wetness from my slit onto my leg.

"Let's not keep her waiting," Kyle said. He and Jeremy began to undress as I lay there feeling like a sex doll. When Jeremy began to suck my clit, my whole body loosened and started tingling. He nibbled my outer labia and then licked hard all the way up my slit. I arched to him as the ache of arousal ratcheted up. He slid his fingers inside me and started to move them in and out, up and down. When he started to nip at my clit, I cried out and reached down to pull him closer. He made a noise, pulled his fingers out of me, and stopped.

"Bad girl." I gave a soft whine. He motioned to Kyle. "Nell's out of control. Again. Hold her down for me."

I squeezed my eyes shut, partly in shame, partly because when Kyle took my hands and restrained me, my pussy caught fire. Kyle leaned onto the table beside me to hold them over my head. I stared down at his cock and then into his eyes.

Indigo blue, I thought to myself. That's what those dark blue eyes are called. My gaze clouded over with passion as Jeremy buried his head between my thighs again. Kyle's eyes were intent, watching me. I felt hypersexual, hyperfeminine, held down by one gorgeous man as the other helped himself to what was between my legs. I gave myself up to the sharp pleasure Jeremy was visiting on me. My backbone bucked against the hard tabletop, and I sucked in my breath as he pushed my thighs even farther apart. Without realizing it, I began to moan. "Please, please, please, please..."

Jeremy stopped again. No! My clit was pulsing, but it downshifted into a low hum when his tongue disappeared. "Please," I whispered.

"Too much noise," Jeremy said. "Kyle, scoot her over. Let's drape her over this edge of the table. Then you can fuck her mouth while I eat her out." They both set about positioning me, then Kyle rolled on condom. I whimpered softly as Jeremy turned my head toward Kyle. "Open," he told me, then to Kyle, "Does that work?" Kyle leaned over the table and guided his cock into my waiting mouth. Yes. It worked. I turned my head a little farther and started to lick his engorged knob. He shoved it in, and my lips closed around it.

"God, that works," said Kyle to Jeremy.

He chuckled. "If you don't keep her mouth occupied, she starts begging like a sloppy little whore. She's just so fucking hungry for cock." My thighs clenched at his words. My nipples ached to be touched. I sucked Kyle, at the same time glorying in the delicious arousal growing in my crotch. The closer I got to coming, the sloppier I got with my mouth. "Mmmm, mmm." I moaned around Kyle's dick as he slid it in and out. I was a drooling slut, but I didn't care. My whole world was the thick cock filling my mouth and the agile tongue tormenting my clit. Jeremy brought me to the brink, then started pistoning his fingers in and out of my pussy. The pressure became unbearable. I drew away from Kyle and threw my head back. "Please, may I come? Please?" I begged.

"Greedy slut," he said against my throbbing clit. "Kyle first."

I turned to Kyle and drew his cock back into my mouth, cupping and stroking his balls. My hips bucked as I sucked him. I heard a chuckle. Kyle said, "I think she wants to come." I whined around his cock, and then both of them laughed. Jeremy licked my clit, then flicked at it, keeping me close, but not close enough to fall over the edge. Kyle sawed in and out of my mouth. In between sucking at him, I made inarticulate, muffled noises, some impatient, some plaintive. At last I felt his testicles tighten, heard his grunt and sigh. When he pulled away, Jeremy slapped the underside of my thigh.

"Okay, girl. Come for us. Show us how much you like to be worked over like a whore." My whole pelvis felt like a rock, stone heavy. Every nerve in my body seemed to be centered there. Every vein and vessel seemed to flow only one direction, and that direction was my pussy. His hot tongue flicked me, licked me. I looked up at Kyle, nearly mad. He was staring down at my tits. Firm tongue on my clit, thick fingers slipping deep inside, and then...then Kyle reached out with both hands and took my nipples in a hard pinch. I cried out. He twisted them, pinched harder, and blood and lust shot out from my clenching center to diffuse my entire world. My cry went on and on, and my body quaked on the hard tabletop. I was racked by spasms of pleasure and pain. Kyle kept twisting until I came to rest. My body untensed and fell open, and Jeremy lifted his head from my crotch.

"Oh, thank you," I said when I could think again.

Jeremy chuckled. "No. Thank you. That was a lovely display. Good girl, you made me hard. Here. Get down."

He pointed to the floor, and I rolled off the table. He put me on my knees with my forehead pressed to the carpet. I heard Kyle return from taking off his condom. Meanwhile Jeremy was rummaging for a spanking implement, an activity I recognized now purely by sound. The drawer opening, the paddles and whips knocking around as he looked through his collection. I was like Pavlov's dog. My previously satisfied pussy began to ache and throb anew at what was coming. What would he choose to hurt me with? How bad would it be?

"I know you're not into spanking, Kyle," I heard him say, "but her ass doesn't look right to me unless it's nice and red. So before we proceed to the main event..."

"Knock yourself out," said Kyle.

The main event. My mind turned the words over, then I looked back to see what he was holding and thought, Oh shit. Not that. It was a paddle he favored, made out of thick, rigid leather. It was almost exactly like the one Kyle had misused on me at Eden. Jeremy wielded it with more control, but I think he actually hurt me more. I tried a pleading expression, although I knew it wouldn't work. He made an impatient sound. "Where is your face supposed to be?"