I hate that I still haven't gotten my s.h.i.t back together. If anything, I'm worse off now than I was the day I found out that Delilah was dating someone else. Pain has a way of taking everything in your world and tossing it around like a tornado. Most days I really can't connect with who I was before that.

The visit with my mother revealed that she was far from ill. She'd gotten me there under false pretenses, in an attempt to get me to loan her money. I'm not quite sure why she thought hitting me up for cash right after I walked into a room to find her servicing three men was a good idea. I said no and then basically hauled a.s.s out of there. Seeing her, being in the house my father built... it was a rough night, and was absolutely the last thing I needed on top of where I already was emotionally.

There were two positive things that happened that night. The first was that I finally confronted Damien about his feelings for Brooke. The second was that we met a new friend, Tally Simon. I like her a lot, and so does Damien, both of us in a friendly way, of course.

While we were at the bar, I had an idea that I thought was a real winner, and I told Damien that he should pretend that Tally was his girlfriend so that Brooke would know he wasn't available. I figured he would realize how ridiculous that was, but then he agreed to do it. I thought he wasn't going to be able to follow it through, that the idea of pushing Brooke away would scare him straight. I was right about it setting him straight, but I was wrong about the fact that he wouldn't actually go through with it.

The night that Damien took Tally home for family dinner to have her pretend to be his girlfriend, we found out that the girl Tally had told us all about, Nikki, the one who broke her heart because she wouldn't come out of the closet, was actually Dominique. That clued Brooke in on the fact that Damien had brought her there as one big lie, and now she won't even look at Damien, much less speak to him. Losing her has broken Damien, taken him to the lowest place he's ever been. I've never seen Damien like he is now, not even close. He looks awful, he's miserably unhappy, and we're all very concerned about his frame of mind. I've really come to love Brooke over this last year, and it scares me that she looks terrible too.

Dominique and Tally stopped by my house about an hour ago with one goal in mind; going to Damien's and telling him to snap out of it.

We arrived to find the outside lights off, and the only inside lights that were on were in the living room, and those were on dim. Dominique had already decided just to bust in using her key. "He's not going to jump up to answer the door," was the way she put up. I agreed with her, so I kept my mouth shut as she unlocked it and let us in. We found him sitting on the couch in absolute silence. No TV, no music. It was pretty grim.

He all but yelled as he asked, "What the f.u.c.k?"

I told him that was our question. What was he doing sitting with his thumb up his a.s.s? Why wasn't he fighting?

We had a good talk with him, and it was like a sign from above when he got a text from Delilah saying that she was out for the night at a bar with Brooke. Damien asked the three of us if he should go, and we all gave a resounding yes.

I followed him to the door, away from Dominique and Tally, so that I could ask him what bar the girls were at. He reeled off the name, and I took note. His mind was so focused on Brooke that I don't think he even noticed that I'd asked the question.

I decided to follow my own advice to Damien about talking to Brooke. After dropping Dominique and Tally back at Tally's house, I drove straight to the bar. As I was pulling in, I saw Damien and Brooke pulling out in his Escalade, and I smiled. At least he got her that far. Hopefully the rest will work itself out. Now I was hoping that I could make an appeal to Delilah that would get us back on track.

After allowing my eyes to adjust to the darkness of the bar, I quickly found Delilah. As usual, there was a crowd of people around her. I breathed a sigh of relief after ascertaining that there was no guy right on top of her. Maybe, if I'm lucky, the little p.r.i.c.k she's dating isn't here. I quickly push further thoughts of him away when I realize that it's making me grind my teeth. It wouldn't be good to approach her looking like a raged out serial killer.

Walking up behind her calmly, I got close enough to her to smell her, and then all that calm went right out the window. She still smelled as good to me as she ever has, the subtle tones of the perfume she's worn forever evoking a sensory memory that makes me hard. We should be in the home stretch right now, just about ready to return to each other. Instead, I'm chasing after her in some lame bar, about to beg her to leave her boyfriend.

Tapping her on the shoulder, I smiled when she turned to face me. She looked genuinely surprised to see me, and I hoped it was a good kind of surprised. After gesturing to her friends to give her a minute, she grabbed my arm and gently pulled me across the room to an empty table. After we'd each taken a chair, she raised an eyebrow at me. "A lot of action in this bar tonight. Is your being here a coincidence, or?"

I swiftly shook my head. "No. I came to find you, to talk to you. I don't want to do this anymore. I don't think I can."

Pausing, I tried to get my thoughts together. What could I say to make her understand that I wasn't trying to be an a.s.shole when I asked her to break up with her boyfriend? I want to be with her, and that's never going to happen as long as she's with someone else.

Taking a deep breath, I chose my words carefully before looking up. I figured out that I was fighting a losing battle the moment that I saw her face. She'd lost almost all of her color, her eyes were filled with tears, and her lip was quivering.

Oh my G.o.d.

She's in love with the new guy, and she's upset because she doesn't want to hurt me. It was like a kick in the nuts, and my stomach starts to churn. It's time for me to beat a hasty retreat. I never should have put her in this position.

"You know what? I didn't come here to upset you. Clearly this was a terrible idea. At the end of the day, I just want you to be happy. That's all that really matters to me. I'm going to go. I'll see you... around."

When I saw the tears start falling down her cheeks and heard her choked sob, I had no more hope left. d.a.m.n me for upsetting her. I should have just taken it like a man and accepted her choice without making her uncomfortable. "I'm sorry angel. I'm so, so sorry. I won't bother you about this ever again, I promise. Be happy." Giving her forehead a brief kiss, I high-tailed it out of the bar. I didn't even get as far as the door before three tears fell down my face.

After I got to my car, I floored it out of the parking lot. At that point, I just needed to put as much distance between me and Delilah as humanly possible. I'm going to need to talk to Dante about transferring to another branch immediately. There is no way I can stay here, not anymore. As soon as I get home, I'll draft a letter to Dante to get the ball rolling.

Chapter Fourteen: Delilah

I was so excited when he came into the bar. I thought he'd come to his senses; that finally we were going to talk. But then I saw his face. I saw how upset he was, I saw how badly he was struggling, and I got a bad feeling. When he said he couldn't do it anymore, I knew it was over. He'd decided to move on, and just like that, I knew that my future was gone. Being Mr. Big c.o.c.k meant more to him than I do, and I felt like everything I'd ever believed in was shredded to pieces.

After getting myself under control, and once I was sure I wasn't going to cry a river, I got up from the table and made my way over to my friends and started saying my goodbyes. About a minute later, my sorority sister, Jennifer, pulled me to the side.

"Not that it's any of my business, but what did you just say to that guy? He was so upset when he left."

That was confusing, and I shook my head at her. "You're imagining things. IF he was upset, it was only because he felt bad about telling me something he knew I didn't want to hear."

Shaking her head firmly, she put her hand up to stop me from talking. "No. Seriously Delilah, I know what I saw. He was crying when he ran out."

That threw me. Did he feel that bad? Does he think I can't handle it? Is that why he strung me along for two years? Was I just a joke to him? Or, does he feel guilty because he doesn't want what I want?

Thanking Jennifer for letting me know, I left the bar and got into my car. I sat for a few minutes kicking different ideas around in my head before deciding to head over to Spencer's. I need him to know that even though I'm devastated, I still love him and I don't hate him for not wanting to be with me anymore. The most important thing to me is that somehow our friendship survives. I couldn't live without him, and I never want to try.

Pulling out of the parking lot, I started driving towards Spencer's house. I couldn't help but drive slower than I normally would. I needed to be calm by the time I saw him, and my emotions were right on the surface.

Once I pulled into his driveway, I turned the car off, and spent another few minutes getting myself steady. When I'd gotten myself as calm as I could possibly be, I headed to the front door and knocked.

The door was flung open, and I was taken aback by Spencer's appearance. Jennifer was right. He was upset. Even worse, he didn't look happy to see me. The look on his face said that he wished anyone else on earth was standing on his doorstep right now. Keeping my chin up, I asked him if I could go in. When he said yes, I brushed past him as quickly as possible.

The lights in the living room were off, so I walked toward where I could see light coming from the kitchen. I could see that Spencer must have been sitting at the kitchen table working on his computer. Choosing the seat next to where he'd clearly been sitting, I went to sit down. As I did, I knocked a piece of paper from the table onto the floor.

Bending over to pick it up, I noticed that the letter was addressed to Dante. I didn't actually make an attempt to read it, but as I went to lay the letter back down, I realized that the first line read: "I'm writing to officially request a transfer to another one of the Hart International branches..."

The sheer terror and heartbreak that slammed into me simultaneously was staggering, worse than any pain I'd ever felt in my life. He was leaving me. He wanted to get away. I didn't think I could hurt more than I did when he stood up from the table at the bar, but I was wrong.

I was out of control, completely broken. Picking up the letter, I turned to see him walking into the room. I couldn't control my reaction, and it erupted from me like lava. "How could you? Do you hate me this much? WHY? You f.u.c.king destroyed me tonight, and now you're doing this too?" Sobs overtook me, and I lost the ability to speak coherently.

His arms were around me in seconds, and I struggled against him as I wail. He's leaving me. That was all I knew, it was all I could feel.

I was so out of control that it took me at least a minute to realize that he was trying to talk to me. "How can you possibly expect me to stay? I can't live like this Delilah. I can't, and it's not f.u.c.king fair for you to expect me to deal with this s.h.i.t all the time!"

Oh my G.o.d. Where was the Spencer I've known my whole life? Had I never really known him at all? He was destroying me, ripping my heart out one tiny piece at a time. He had to realize that when he left me, I'd be broken beyond repair, but he just didn't care.

I needed to get away before I completely lost my s.h.i.t and started hyperventilating or throwing up. It felt like my entire world was just thrown into a hurricane that was now spitting everything out into the wrong place.

Shoving him aside, words tumbled from my mouth before I could formulate something less pathetic to say. "I never knew you could be so cruel. Don't worry. You won't have to deal with me or my s.h.i.t s.h.i.t anymore. I'm sorry I was such a burden you a.s.shole. Have a nice life Mr. Big c.o.c.k!" anymore. I'm sorry I was such a burden you a.s.shole. Have a nice life Mr. Big c.o.c.k!"

I walked as fast as I could to the door. Grabbing the handle, I went to fling the door open so that I could make my escape. I saw Spencer's hand smack against the door to hold it in place, and I whipped around and screamed. "What? What f.u.c.king more do you want from me? I'm completely destroyed. I can't TAKE anymore Spencer. Let. Me. Go!"

I'd never seen him as upset as he looks now. "That's rich Delilah. How the f.u.c.k are you making ME the bad guy here? Mocking me by calling me Mr. Big c.o.c.k? Jesus Christ! I never thought you were cruel. I'm leaving so that YOU can create the future that YOU want with the guy that you've chosen, the one you're clearly in love with. I'm the one that's got nothing left. Do you really expect me to sit here and watch as you bring him to dinners and family events? I'M NOT THAT STRONG DELILAH! I'm f.u.c.king broken. You have to let me go, have to let me make a new life. I won't survive if I stay."

The synapses in my brain started firing like rockets as I a.s.similated everything he'd just said. How did we get so far off track? He was leaving because he believed that I could be in love with someone else! How can he possibly have gotten that into his head?

I needed to tell him all of that, but the relief I felt that he wasn't leaving because he hated me and thought that I was a burden had my vocal chords in a strangle hold as I cried harder than I ever had. Grabbing him, I pulled him toward me and wrapped my arms around him, needing his strength to hold me up so that I wouldn't fall down. He was rigid for a moment before he shuddered and pulled me in close.

Dropping my purse, I basically started climbing him. I heard his shirt start to tear, but I didn't care. I just couldn't get close enough. I was completely wrapped around him, every part of my body touching a part of his, as I continued sobbing uncontrollably.

"Shhh. Baby shhh. You're scaring me! Stop. Stop! Please baby! I won't leave, Delilah. I'll throw the letter away. I'll learn to live with it. I promise! You have to stop. Please, please stop. You're hurting yourself. I didn't know it would hurt you like this. I'll stay, I'll do anything for you, anything you want, just please stop."

I was trying, I really was, but I'd never felt anything like how I felt right then. I started trying to talk, but I was crying so hard I could only get one word at a time out.

"I...called... you... Mr... big... c.o.c.k... because... you... f.u.c.ked... some... s.l.u.t... I... know... I... broke... up... with... him... weeks... ago... didn't... have... s.e.x... with... him... didn't... love... him... don't... love... him... I'm... still...yours... and... I... always... will... be!"

He staggered a bit as I finished talking, and before I knew it he was running across the room to the couch. I was still attached to him like a new appendage, but that didn't slow him down any.

He held me on the couch for a few minutes, rocking me back and forth while I got myself under control.

Rubbing my back, he continued soothing me as I calmed down. His shirt is soaked from all of my crying, and I asked him for a tissue. Grabbing a box from the sofa table next to us, he started gently wiping my face off.

"Angel, I'm so sorry. I told you they were just bodies and I meant every word. I've actually slept with far fewer people than you think. I'm sorry it hurt you, and I'd give anything to take it back baby. Anything. It meant nothing, it was stupid, and I should have thought it out and been strong enough to wait."

I grabbed some tissues from him so that I could blow my nose and wipe my face. "How could you think I was in love with anyone else? I've been yours for longer than I can remember. That isn't ever going to change. When I thought you were leaving, I felt like I was dying. I need you Spencer. I'll always need you."

He rubbed my back as he spoke, his response heartfelt and true. "I thought you loved him. I saw your face at the bar, and I thought you didn't want to talk to me. I f.u.c.king died inside right then, Delilah. I'm yours angel. How could you have thought I would leave you because I didn't want to be with you? You're the only person I've ever wanted to be with. There is only one you, Delilah."

His words had an immediate effect on my libido. I didn't just want want to be closer to him, I to be closer to him, I had had to be. I had waited long enough, and there was no way I was putting up with this for another second. Grabbing his head, I swooped down and captured his mouth in a kiss that had to leave him with no doubt about what I wanted now. to be. I had waited long enough, and there was no way I was putting up with this for another second. Grabbing his head, I swooped down and captured his mouth in a kiss that had to leave him with no doubt about what I wanted now.

If the kiss wasn't ill.u.s.trating that for him, the fact that I was rubbing against him and ripping his clothes off clued him in. Pulling away from him for a moment, I yanked his shirt over his head and threw it over my shoulder before pulling my own shirt off, following that with my bra. Taking his head back into my hands, I brought his face closer to my naked b.r.e.a.s.t.s. He knew just what I wanted, and I sighed at the exquisite agony of his mouth licking and sucking my nipples. There was no awkwardness between us, no hesitation at all. It was impossible to tell that there has been almost a two-year span since the last time we touched like this.

Each swirl of his tongue over my nipples raises gooseflesh on my arms, and I could no longer stand not being totally connected. Pulling back from his amazing mouth I smiled and said, "Pull down your zipper. I need to have you in me right now. It's an emergency."

I watched as he complied, groaned out loud when I saw his ma.s.sive c.o.c.k again for the first time in years, couldn't help myself from thinking that I missed it so much. Standing up, I quickly pulled my skirt and thong off, kicking them away from me. I climbed back onto his lap, and grabbed his rigid length in my hand, holding him still as I placed him at my opening. I wiggled and rocked on the tip, lubricating it and trying to take him in.

When I felt the head finally slip in, I flung my head back as I moaned. It doesn't get more intense than how I felt with him inside of me.

I felt Spencer tense underneath me, and I knew he was struggling for control. "f.u.c.k Delilah! You're so f.u.c.king tight. Am I hurting you?"

Shaking my head, I moaned. "No! It feels good, so good. It's been so long. Don't stop!"

His response was to slide his hands down to grab either side of my waist, holding me in place as my body gradually accepted inch after inch of him. Once I'd gotten about half of him in, I started to move. The more I moved, the wetter I got, and the wetter I got, the more of him I was able to take. When my a.s.s finally settled onto his lap, I knew I'd taken everything he had to give me.

Grabbing my chin, he angled my mouth so that we could kiss. My response was to moan as he took me in a kiss so hot I wondered if the fire company would need to show up to hose us off. I picked up the pace, riding him like a wild woman. Every time I came down, it felt like he was filling me up like never before. Shivering and crying from the intensity of it, I f.u.c.ked him harder. After spending weeks waiting for him to speak to me, and after how terrible I had felt just an hour ago, I needed the intensity of the pleasure, which was bordering on pain. I needed to feel it, even if it hurt. I could tell Spencer was feeling similarly by how hard he was thrusting up into me as I rode him.

"Oh Jesus.... Delilah.... I f.u.c.king missed you so much angel! You're squeezing my c.o.c.k so hard that there's no way I'm going to last. I'm going to flood your p.u.s.s.y with my come."

His words caused a rush of cream to flood out of me, and I shrieked at the sensation. It was like I could feel every one of his words deep in my womb, my s.e.x now the soaking wet center of the storm, little convulsions rippling through me.

"Oh... oh... oh!! YES. I want you to flood my p.u.s.s.y, Spence! Do it!" It felt so dirty saying that word back to him, but I loved it. His responding growl told me that he loved it too.

Our lovemaking was more intense than ever before, the room filled with the sounds of the two of us moaning and talking dirty to each other.

"I missed being inside you so f.u.c.king much Delilah. You're so f.u.c.king tight. Perfect, just like every other part of you. Never think for one moment that it was ever like this for me with anyone else. It's only you angel, only ever you. "

I tried to tell him how good he felt inside of me, but I wasn't making any sense. What came out was just a jumble of words. "Love you! Only you. You're perfect. So big. Love it. Hurts, but it's so good! Want you. Come. HARDER! My p.u.s.s.y. SPENCER! Now!"

With a scream, I hit the peak of the strongest o.r.g.a.s.m of my life. I didn't even feel human anymore. Everything I had inside of me was flooding Spencer's c.o.c.k, and the rest of me was too far gone to matter. In the middle of my o.r.g.a.s.m, my knees gave out, so Spencer took over. Grabbing my waist harder, he pumped me up and down at lightning speed, intensifying the sensations ripping through my body.

"OhG.o.dohG.o.dohG.o.d! Spencer!"

When he slid his hand between my legs and pinched my c.l.i.t, I lost it. My first o.r.g.a.s.m had been coming to an end, and the pressure of the pinch hurtled me immediately into another ma.s.sive explosion. I saw stars, heard ringing in my ears, felt my entire body tighten like a bowstring, and I f.u.c.king loved it. Loved it, and knew as it went on and on that there was no going back. I'd never give this up again. Not for an hour, not for a day, not for a month. My waiting days were over. Spencer didn't have a chance of pushing me away ever again.

As usual, he wasn't done. I groaned as he stood up, holding me firmly against him, his c.o.c.k still buried deep inside of me. The wiggling movement of him inside of me as he walked us into his bedroom had me panting all over again. Flicking on the overhead light, he gently laid me down on the bed. Spreading my thighs, he held me open as he started thrusting in and out of me at a rapid pace.

I clenched and unclenched over and over again as his ma.s.sive girth worked me over. "Unh, unh, unh" I moaned as he hammered into me, the tip of his c.o.c.k hitting me just right inside. I was wet like never before, and I briefly wondered if the bed was wet under me. I guess two years of waiting to be back in this position had created quite a back up, and I hoped he'd f.u.c.k it all out of me, relentlessly and often.

Our mouths fused back together as the pace continued, his fingers rubbing my c.l.i.t as I built again. I squeezed, and cried as I came all over again, clawing my nails down his back as he f.u.c.ked me like he had to, like he was helpless to stop.

He pulled out after my tremors had pa.s.sed. I watched him undress as my breath came in gusts. Just like always, the sight of him naked caused my juices to flow harder. His enormous muscles rippled as he took his pants off, and I very much enjoyed the show. He's a f.u.c.king Adonis, and I love it.

Within seconds, he was back on the bed with me, sliding between my legs again. Lifting my hips, he thrust back into me again. "I want you to lay your feet on my shoulders."

I complied immediately, grateful that he helped me get there. I couldn't help but to let out a keening cry when I felt his penetration in an even bigger way.

He growled. "That's right baby. Take it, take me."

My arousal was off the charts, and I took his furious pounding for the gift that it was. How many nights had I laid in bed rubbing myself, wishing that Spencer was inside of me? The answer is pretty much every single night since our beautiful Christmas together almost two years ago.

I was so wet that I could hear it as he thrust in and out. I was incoherent, a.s.sailed with sensations I'd never known before. As intense as we were during those thirty days and the Christmas we spent together, this was more. I'm not sure if it's because I'm more mature, or if it's because we feel more, but it's unbelievable and amazing.

"Oh yeah Delilah. f.u.c.k yes.... Tighten up on me babe."

I loved the sound of his s.e.xy mid-f.u.c.k voice. It drove me wild with l.u.s.t, and I tightened around him as I came again with a cry. "Oh Spencer, ohSpencerohSpencerohSpencer...."

Pulling out, he flipped me over. I gushed and yelled out when he spanked first my left a.s.s cheek and then my right, then gushed and moaned more as he rubbed each one. He repeated that pattern over and over again, turning me on so much that I could feel my arousal coating my thighs.

"Mm baby. Your a.s.s is an amazing shade of red. I'm going to love staring at this while I f.u.c.k your tight little p.u.s.s.y."

I yelped when he smacked my a.s.s again, hard, as he slid his c.o.c.k back into me. Holding on to my waist, he started pumping in and out, harder. I started out on my hands and knees, but quickly dropped so that my face was lying on the bed, turned to lie on my left cheek. When his finger started rubbing the outer ring of my a.s.s I thought I'd pa.s.s out, it felt that good. I couldn't help but scream as my o.r.g.a.s.m slammed into me with all the finesse of an out of control ten-ton truck. As soon as I started coming, Spencer erupted into me from behind, filling me with his release. I arched and moaned, loving the feel of his heat spurting into my womb.

I loved our connection, and I groaned when he pulled out. Nothing feels better than having him inside of me, reaching me in the most amazing places. Lying beside me, he gently rubbed my back and my a.s.s, kissing my neck and my shoulder.

I drifted for a while like that, absolutely exhausted from the crazy emotional start to my night, and the wild and crazy love making that just ended it. Kissing my neck and shoulders, Spencer whispered into my ear, "Do you want to take a shower?"

Being a puddle of jelly, I gave a small shake of my head. "Mm. No. Too tired, and I like being full of your come. It's a reminder that we're back on track."

I loved hearing his husky chuckle, loved more the kisses he continued to lavish me with. "That's actually crazy romantic angel, and I love it. I feel like I marked you."

I laughed at that. "You have marked me baby, inside and out. You've also worn my a.s.s out. I'm getting under the duvet and going to sleep. I'm practically in a coma."