Lorenzo's Reward - Lorenzo's Reward Part 10
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Lorenzo's Reward Part 10

"Rage, I suppose."

"This I can understand! To believe he is loved and then find he is not-" Lorenzo made a chopping motion with his hand. "This would enrage any man."

"Exactly. So after that I made a conscious decision to wait until I find a death-do-us part kind of thing..." She breathed in sharply in dismay. "Lorenzo-I'm so sorry"

He shook his head. "Do not apologise, cam. I would not have you guard your tongue over every word."

"I thought of you during the ceremony today, wondering if it made you sad."

He raised her hand to his lips, pressing a kiss on it. "It was Roberta who was sad, not I, Jessamy. It is a long time since my own wedding. Sometimes I can almost believe it happened to some other man, not I."

"How old were you?"

"I was twenty-one, Renata was a year younger."

"As young as that." She hesitated. "Would it be painful to describe her to me?"

Lorenzo was quiet for a while, as though picturing his dead wife in his mind. "Renata had long black hair," he began at last, "and pale blue eyes inherited from some northern ancestor. She was much too thin, with an intensity which seemed to hint at a passionate nature. We were married with all the usual ceremony, in a church full of lilies. And later that night," he added with sudden bittemess, "my bride became hysterical with fear when I tried to consummate our marriage."

Jess stared at him in horror. "But you said she loved you."

"She did. In her way. But this was not as a wife loves a husband." Lorenzo stared unseeingly into me scented twilight "Renata had no wish to be wife to any man. That night, once she was sure I would not force her, she confessed she had always longed to enter a convent Her parents forbade this." He shrugged. "They were elderly, Renata was their only child, and a loving, obedient daughter, so she surrendered to their wishes. Which was disaster for both of us."

"That's so sad," said Jess huskily. She hesitated. "Did-did things ever improve?"

"If you talk of a normal married relationship, no." Lorenzo shrugged. "Do not mistake me, Jessamy. I was fond of Renata. I would have done my best to make her happy and give her children. But all hope of that died on our wedding night, killed by her frenzied rejection. We were both trapped by our marriage vows. So. We agreed to act out our pathetic little commedia, and keep the true state of our marriage secret. When my unsuspecting parents died, years later, their only regret was the lack of grandchildren."

There was a sudden eruption of people from the hotel, accompanied by a burst of laughter as they made for the car park. Jess stirred instinctively, but Lorenzo held her fast.

"Did Roberto know the truth?" she asked, settling back against him.

Lorenzo shrugged. "He knew that my marriage was not-not perfect But for many reasons I have never told him the truth."

Jess stared down at their clasped hands. "It must have been so hard for a man like you," she said with difficulty.

"A man like me?"

"Lorcnzo, you know very well what I mean. You're a healthy, virile male. A marriage like yours must have been hell for you."

"In that way it was." He rubbed his cheek over her hair. "During my marriage my pride prevented me from seeking consolation elsewhere, you understand. But afterwards," he added carefully, "when certain privileges were offered I have not refused."

"You mean that if a woman gives out certain signals you don't fight her off." teased Jess, in an effort to lighten the atmosphere.

He laughed a little. "I am expressing myself in a foreign language, remember."

"And very well you do it," she assured him.

"Good. Because there must be no misunderstandings between us, Jessamy. Now or in the future."

Jess peered up at him uncertainly in the gathering dusk, her heart racing at his mention of the future.

"What is it, carissima." he asked softly.

She tried to laugh, make light of it. "Now and then I get this little attack of unreality."

"Make no mistake," he said fiercely. "This is reality, Jessamy. Since my marriage I have never felt truly alive until now."

Jess trembled, and he put his other arm round her.

"I should not keep you out here like this."

"I'm not cold," she blurted. "It's just the effect you have on me."

Lorenzo was utterly still for an instant, then he crushed her close and kissed her with a tender ferocity which sent shock waves through her entire body. "Do you know what it means to me to hear you say such things, amoreti he demanded raggedly, raising his head at last. "Forgive me, Jessamy, this is a public place-"

"I don't care." she said recklessly, and kissed him back.

Lorenzo responded without reserve, his body shaking with the intensity of the feelings she'd aroused, and Jess exulted, proud of her power. Then he gave a groan like a man in pain and dropped his arms. "We must go," he panted. "Now!"

Jess took the hand he held out to her and stood up, then saw the untouched glasses of wine on the table, the half-full bottle beside them. "Lorenzo! What a terrible waste. I forgot all about the wine."

"And why did you forget?" he demanded, his fingers tightening on hers.

"I was too wrapped up in you," she said gruffly.

Lorenzo said something unintelligible in his own tongue and pulled her into his arms to kiss her at such length they were both speechless when he let her go. Without another word he took her by the hand and led her to the car, neither of them saying another word during the journey to Stavely. Inside the car the tension between them mounted to such heights Jess could hardly breathe by the time Lorenzo turned up the lane which led to Friars Wood. Suddenly he stood on the brakes, and she saw a cat streak across the lane, a blur of pale fur in the headlights.

"Scusa," said Lorenzo through his teeth. He drove on at a snail's pace, then stopped the car under a tree which shaded a spot wide enough to park. He wrenched his seat belt free, then reached over to release Jess and pulled her into his arms like a man at the end of his tether. He kissed her with a barely suppressed frenzy she responded to equally fiercely, and it was a long time before he raised his head to gaze down into her dazed, heavy eyes.

"Forgive me, amore," he said, in a tone which melted her very bones.

"For what?"

"For making love to you in a car, like some callow Romeo." His wide, sensuous mouth curved in self-mockery. "You give me back my youth, Jessamy. I have no defence against my desire for you."

"How old are you?" she demanded.

"Thirty-four."

"I thought you were older than that."

He drew back, eyeing her ruefully. "I look so ancient?"

"Not ancient-mature!" She pulled his head down to hers and kissed him hard, then rubbed her cheek against his.

He shrugged wryly. "I learned maturity very early."

Jess ached with sympathy. "Which is why you seem so assured, I suppose, so much in control."