"Was that entry because of her?"
After Song Qingchun finished the sentence that she thought was poetic, she noticed a trace of stupor on Su Zhinian's face, like he was not mentally present. After a long time, he replied with a soft "hmm", adding, "Yes, it was written for her."
Due to his reticent nature, Song Qingchun thought that he had finished speaking, but he added after a short pause, "That is my lifelong dream."
He blinked into focus, and his expression turned serious. Like making his vows, he uttered seriously, "A dream that I have not given up to this day."
In Song Qingchun's mind, Su Zhinian was an emotionless machine; she had known him for so many years, but she had never seen him express any kind of emotion. At times, she was convinced that he was a human robbed of emotions like those monk or nun characters in wuxia novels, those who did not walk among humans and did not understand the meaning of love or emotion.
However, when she heard him say that, her heart was gripped by emotions.
His tone was light and flat, but it had depths of feeling to it. So, it turned out, contrary to what she had thought, it was not that he didn't understand the matters of love and emotions, if anything, he was more familiar with them than anyone else; his frigid exterior hid a heart that was burning brighter than anyone else.
She remembered him saying, in the haze of his fever, "I know you are unwilling, in fact, you must hate me in your heart; you couldn't wait to get as far away from me as you can."
They were a couple who broke up due to some circumstances?
She had never been as interested in his life story as she was at that moment. The girl who had said she only had one question, asked another. "Did you break up with her?"
"Break up?" Su Zhinian mumbled the term. How he wished they had broken up Even though the two words were the source of much sadness, at least it represented a shared history together. But what about him? He had never tasted the sweetness of love before he had been forced to give it up!
Su Zhinian's expression was calm, but his eyes that looked at her had started to lose focus; even his voice had started to shake. "We were never really a couple."
"Huh?" Song Qingchun was confused. Never really a couple? What does he mean by that?
Song Qingchun frowned deeply, and after a long pause, came up with the most logical possibility. "She rejected your confession?"
Su Zhinian felt tears pricking his eyes. He bowed his said and explained, "I've never confessed my love to her before."
"You mean, you've spent ten years looking for her, and until now, she doesn't know you are in love with her?"
No confession, never a couple, so what has he been doing?
"Yes, she has no clue that I love her." After a pause, Su Zhinian added, "I believe she will never ever know I am deeply in love with her."
"Why?" Song Qingchun was thoroughly confused by Su Zhinian.