Chapter 687

Why do you do acting? Gaeul asked as she drank the cooled omija tea.

She had been drinking it ever since she heard a while ago that it was good for her throat.

Me? Why do you ask so suddenly?

Heewon, who was lying down in the practice room with his limbs stretched out, raised his head just a little.

I was just curious. I was wondering what made someone who cant be bothered with anything in life make the decision to become an actor and even take lessons like these.

Youre curious about something rather meaningless. Anyway hey, is that tasty?

Ill give you a sip, so tell me.

She poured some of the omija tea into a paper cup and handed it to him. Heewon, who was quite a glutton, gulped it down as soon as he received it.

Its sour and bitter too. Why do you drink this stuff?

If you focus, you can taste something sweet, too. Its called omija because there are five flavors

[1]

. Also, apparently, its good for your throat.

Not my cup of tea though.

Heewon put down the cup down in front of him.

You drank it, so tell me. Why do you do acting?

I can ask you the same thing. Why do you do acting?

I asked you first.

Doesnt mean I have to answer you first.

What about the omija tea then?

Heewon opened his mouth wide and put his finger inside. Gaeul sighed.

Geez, I cant win against you, can I?

Dont think about useless stuff and just get some rest. Youve been working hard throughout the whole class, so you should get some rest when you can. If you keep talking about acting even during breaks, your brain will burst, you know?

I dont care since I love acting.

Gaeul sat down on a chair, placed her elbows on her knees, and rested her head on her hands. The reason for acting - she looked at Heewon, who was rolling down on the ground, before speaking,

I used to go to plays a lot with my father.

What the heck are you talking about so suddenly?

We just talked about it a few seconds ago yet you forgot already?

Oh, the reason for acting?

You leave your concentration at home, dont you?

Id love to do that. If possible, Id like to leave my mind at home too. Then Ill be able to rest at home. Man, that sounds so good.

Im sure sloths do more activity than you.

Heewon rolled over to the wall while covering his ears as though he didnt want to listen. Gaeul looked at him and spoke in a small voice,

I loved the plays I used to watch with my dad. The atmosphere in Daehak-ro was good too. Actually, I just liked going out somewhere with my dad when I was young. With one hand, Ill hold my dads hand, and with the other hand, Ill be holding cotton candy. When I walked around with those two in hand, I felt like I was flying.

They were memories from when she was very young, but she could still picture them. The memories of those times were unforgettable no matter how old she got.

I can still remember the play I saw for the first time. It was a play aimed at children, Peter Pan. The actor wearing the Peter Pan outfit kept running around the audience seats. He high-fived me too. I thought he was so cool. It was the same when I watched other plays as well. The actors looked so cool, and I wanted to be on the same stage as them. I think it was probably back then that I started writing actor as my dream; from all the way back in elementary school.

Memories with your father, huh.

Of course, right now, I just like acting itself. Its kinda curious that I can express something like those actors I saw back then as well. Also, I have an objective too.

An objective?

To be in the same work as a certain someone.

Gaeul stopped talking and stared at Heewon quietly. Heewon made a sour expression.

Do I have to say it too?

We still have 10 minutes left of break. Theres nothing else to do either.

Id be happy to spend that time lying down.

Then you can stay still for all I care. Ill blab on by myself. Maybe Ill get better at talking to myself if I keep doing it, Gaeul said with a smile.

Heewon, who was lying down and hugging his knees like a pillbug, slowly sat up.

Well, I dont have something grand like that. I never watched plays when I was young either. In the first place, my environment didnt allow such a thing.

Youve never watched plays?

I think there are more people who did not watch plays when they were young than the ones who did.

Then what made you like acting?

There werent any big events. I entered high school, and I was told that joining a school club was mandatory. When I asked my friends from middle school, they said that it was up to them whether they joined one or not, so it turned out to be mandatory for my school. Having no choice, I had to choose one, but going around outside needed money and time, so I passed on those, and when I looked at the ones that happened inside the school, there were the literature club, origami club, and the English-Speaking club. Im not that good with moonrunes, so I put aside the literature club and the English club. I mean, isnt it horrific to think about studying on a Saturday?

That sounds just like you.

Heewon scratched his head.

Thats why I tried to join the origami club, but who wouldve known that it was a club that disbanded due to lack of members, and they forgot to erase it from the print? I was in a fix. No matter where I looked, there wasnt a club that I wanted to join. I dont even want to imagine doing something athletic, and if club activities needed money, I would hate that even more than doing something athletic.

But club activities dont need that much money, do they? Gaeul asked.

As most clubs were light-hearted clubs that happened after school, unless it was something that the school was famous for, there wouldnt be a lot of funding. Even if it did require a lot of money, most schools would fund those the majority of the time. Myunghwa High was famous for its acting club, and they needed a lot of money for it due to things like inviting instructors and getting materials to make props and sets. Luckily, the school funded most of it and there was practically no burden on the members.

When I thought about living expenses, even that was too much. I do like watching movies, but how much would it add up to if I watched one movie every single week? The same goes for going to PC bangs too. I wanted to choose something that didnt need money, which limited my range of options.

Living expenses. Gaeul thought that he was talking about his pocket money.

So? How did you end up joining the acting club?

A friend of mine from the same class asked me if I wanted to join. Thats why I asked - dont you need a lot of money for it? He told me no, so I said okay. Actually, he bought me a lot of things since the beginning of the semester.

Thats how you joined the acting club? Without thinking?

Without thinking? I told you - I considered everything. But I let my guard down at the last moment, you know? I was so hung up on the fact that I didnt need money for it, and I forgot about how much time it needed. It was too late by the time I put my name on the list. I had to stay behind every single day after school to practice. It was practically hell.

Im surprised youre still acting. Its not like youre doing it for fun either.

Heewon hesitated a little before speaking,

Its not that I hate it. But it doesnt mean I love it to death either. Its just somewhat endurable? I just do it because I can take it.

Isnt acting hard if you think of it like that? You have no motivation, no dream, nor an objective. In the first place, you dont want to do it either.

Well, definitely, I dont have any of those in me.

Heewon yawned. Gaeul quietly looked at him. What was the motivation that moved him? What brought this lazy guy all the way here? She was suddenly reminded of the talent he had. If that was given to someone other than him, if someone who desperately wanted to become an actor had Heewons talent, she thought that that person would be more than glad to sweat in order to train themself.

She met eyes with Heewon, who was rubbing his eyes after yawning.

Well, theres no reason I should find my motivation within myself, Heewon said unwillingly.

His sour expression became thicker.

Its because its what Haewon wants. He wants me to act.

Haewon?

Heewon nodded as he stood up. He started walking while looking at the floor.

Even when I think about it, Im a done cause. I have nothing Im good at, Im lazy by nature, and even if I want to concentrate on something, my heart and body will demotivate themselves before I even start. Its Haewon who looked after me during those times. Im not saying that as a figure of expression; he actually does look after me from A to Z. Sometimes, I even have this thought - maybe its because I, the older brother, am such an irresponsible person that the little brother matured too early. I sometimes think that if I was someone who fulfilled my job properly, maybe Haewon would focus on the things he wants and sometimes complain to me about things.

Dont you think youre overthinking? Even without Haewon, your parents will-

They arent here. Mom and dad - Ive never seen such people.

Heewon interrupted midway. Gaeul didnt understand what he just said for a moment and when she did realize, she blocked her mouth as though to lock her mouth up.

I thought I got used to expressions like that, but it makes me question every single time. I mean, not having parents isnt something that special, is it? There are loads of people who dont have parents.

Heewon scratched his head as though he didnt want to say it. Gaeul couldn't say anything. At the same time, she realized that when he said living expenses it really did mean money that was crucial for living everyday life.

Then do you two live by yourselves?

Ever since we entered high school, yeah. There is someone who supports us and thanks to him, we were able to get a semi-basement room.

Was it

maybe an accident that.

No, we just didnt have any. They dont exist even in all of my memories. Apparently, my surname was originally Kim. There was my name on the cardboard box that I was in or something. When I became mature enough, I heard that from the director

[2]

and changed it. The director was wise and never registered my name legally. I might be insensitive to things like that, but using the surname of those that abandoned me is, well, you know.

Heewon, who walked around the practice room, leaned against one wall and sat down. Gaeul felt her throat go dry. She grew a guilty conscience and felt sorry.

Lee is the directors surname. Also, Haewon doesnt know his parents faces either. He was abandoned around the same time as me. I kept hanging around him because I quite liked him since we were young. Haewon followed me around too. Well, from some time onwards, it was him instead of me who took care of the other.

It must have been hno. Forget I said anything.

Gaeul tried to console him but decided not to do so. She felt like it would be too deceitful to sound like she understood what he was going through. Heewon also glanced at her and nodded.

You know? I never wished for anything much. I used to think this when I was young - just how useless was I to be abandoned in the streets? I mean, I wouldve died if things went wrong. I was a toddler after all. When I thought about that, trying hard seemed so useless. I mean, what good is trying hard? Im a useless guy anyway. But Haewon, hes different. He always looks ahead of him. When I am down, he always comes to me, pulls me up, and empowers me. Thats why I am planning to do whatever it takes if Haewon wants me to. He sees what my blurry eyes cannot. He is smart, hardworking, polite, and anyhow amazing. Unlike me, that is.

Heewon lay on the ground.

Why do I act when I have no interest in it at all? Because Haewon told me that I can be good at it. Because he told me I can earn money with it. Thats why Im doing it. Theres only one thing I want as an actor. I want to earn a lot of money to build a building for the director and pay back all the graces that our supporter has done for us. Haewon is smart, so he can probably become a doctor or a prosecutor or something like that. Im sure of it.

Heewon smiled in satisfaction. Gaeul thought about what she was thinking for a long time before saying one thing,

Im sure things will go well.

Of course. Everything will go well. If Haewon said its going to work, it will work. Also, why dont you put away that weird face of yours? Youre the one who asked me about all this, so you cant be the one crying.

Sorry, Ive been misunderstanding you this whole time.

No, you havent. I really am a good-for-nothing.

Heewon yawned and stretched his arms out before raising his head. At that moment, the door to the practice room opened and Gyeonmi came back.

Well then, you got your rest, so lets get back to it, shall we?

Teacher, I think I have a stomach ache and need to go home.

Lee Heewon, your nonsense is increasing by the day. Should I prick your finger if your stomach hurts

[3]

?

N-no, I think Im fine now.

Seeing Heewon act like usual, Gaeul realized that he was actually quite a strong boy on the inside, unlike what he looked on the outside.

Gaeul, dont daze out and stand up. Were going to start again from act two, Gyeonmi said with a clap.

[1] The o-mi in Omija literally translates to five-flavor.

[2] Of the orphanage

[3] In the old days, parents usually pricked their childrens fingers (usually thumb) with a needle to calm an upset stomach. Acupuncture, apparently. Im not sure if this practice is still ongoing, but I do remember having that done to me when I was little.