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Chapter 19

VOL . 2 CHAPTER 19: DRINKING UNDER THE MOONLIGHT

Ever since the incident when I threw a tantrum, the servants in the mansion have been somewhat kinder .

They would watch me play with Ryuu with a smile on their face, secretly giving me sweets behind Patricks back and treating me like a child . As I pop the sweets in my mouth, I wonder: Why cant I eat sweets .

To find out what was going on among the servants, I decided to talk to Rita . She was the only one who didnt change her behavior, for the better or the worst . I hope my unsightly behavior wont dissipate her loyalty . Fortunately, today was business as usual .

While chewing bread filled with sweet cream, I said .

Whats going on here? Whats with all the sweet Ive been getting?

Please swallow before you talk .

Hold on, Ive got five more . Do you want some?

No please take your time to finish them .

In less than a minute, I finished eating and asked Rita again .

Can you tell me why everyone was nice to me?

Its because of what they saw the other day . It was the final straw when they saw Yumiela-sama throwing a tantrum .

Is that the only reason?

In his spare time, Patrick has been telling everyone stories about Yumiela-sama . I see hes been continuing his habit since we arrived here .

I was aware that Patrick and the servants in this mansion were on good enough terms to chat . But I had no idea that he was talking about me .

Ive seen something like this happen before . I heard he kept talking about me when we were in the academy to Prince Edwin when he suspected that I was the Demon King .

I know what hes trying to do . Hes going around clearing the misunderstanding that I caused . Im grateful that hes doing all of this but at the same time, I feel ashamed that I have a hard time letting people know what kind of person I am .

If thats the case, I guess this situation makes sense .

At that moment, two maids passed by in the hallway . I couldnt help but overhear their idle chatter .

Eh? So, she broke through the window and jumped out because she was embarrassed?

I heard Patrick-sama was really concerned her .

But is there anything that could be more embarrassing than what happened last time? If there is any, then anything is possible .

Well, thats Yumiela-sama for you .

Breaking through the window, throwing a tantrum, it seems like the embarrassing memories of it started coming back .

Im still not convinced . I cant get through this without alcohol .

Speaking of which, I dont think Ive had alcohol in my life . The only drink available at the academy parties was juice and I didnt drink at the Dukes party either .

My interest in the unknown beverage was rising, so I went to look for Patrick and asked .

Have you ever drank alcohol?

Yeah whats with the sudden interest?

I found someone not of age who had drinking experience . But there is no law determining the legal drinking age in this kingdom . Of course, kids arent allowed to drink .

I thought Id try a little drink .

Sure, Ill make some arrangements for tonight .

His expression sharpened slightly before he hurried away . Arrangements, huh didnt he only need to buy some alcohol?

That evening, Patrick took me out of the mansion . We strolled through the darkness .

I assumed he had booked a table at a restaurant somewhere, but the road he took led us out of town .

Wait, where are we going?

Its alright, just follow me .

He was more pushy than usual . Suddenly, he held out his left hand?

I dont have anything dangerous on me .

Thats not what I mean .

After that baffling interaction, we kept walking under the night sky .

We finally made it outside the town and made our way through the wind-swept meadows .

And we ended up

Its so pretty .

There were two chairs and a round table in the middle of an empty meadow .

On the table, there were ice-cold bottles and glasses lined up and plates of finger foods .

The table was in a perfect place to watch the moon and the stars .

The sight was absolutely fantastic like the world had been sliced in half .

This is your first time drinking, so I decided to do this .

He was romantic to a fault . While I have no romance in my bones, hes such a hopeless romantic

The dream-like sight of the table had my eyes glued to it, but I shifted them to Patrick . With a gentle smile that I really like, he continued .

This way, you dont have to worry about breaking things or get violent when you are drunk .

Huh?

That being said, the drinking started .

While he was worried about what kind of drunk I am, I didnt think all of this was necessary . As a matter of fact, alcohol is a kind of drug or poison . Since I have a high tolerance for that kind of thing, Im pretty sure I wont get drunk .

As I sat back in my chair, I was given the smallest glass .

I was hoping to act like an adventurer, drinking from a miniature wooden barrel mug . But Ive heard beer and ale taste bitter so this was probably for the best .

He picked up one of the bottles and opened the seal .

What kind of drink is that?

Its champagne . Its easy to drink for a first-timer

The moment I heard the word Champagne, I immediately ducked my body under the table .

That was a close one, he would have warned me in advance before opening the bottle . I heard when you opened the seal, the cork pops out and the contents spurt out like a fountain .

What is it this time?

Champagne is the one that explodes, right? Didnt you learn in the academy to duck under the table during an earthquake and when opening champagne?

I never learned that .

I crawled out nervously after I heard a faint pop sound from above . Then I saw Patrick had finished pouring the champagne into a glass .

I guess I was trying to be careful?

Yeah, but Im used to it .

Are you saying that youre used to people scared of opening champagne? Im relieved to know that this event is uncommon, and Im not the only one .

Returning to my seat, I admire the glistening gold liquid inside the glass under the moonlight .

What an exquisite way to enjoy a fancy drink in an elegant place with your favorite person . I wonder if I can afford to be this happy .

Well, cheers .

Cheers .

The glasses clinked gently like they were kissing, making a nice little sound .

When I tilted my glass, the luscious liquid flowed into my mouth

Cough, cough uwaaaa .

I coughed profusely . Patrick stood up in a rush and came to my side to pat my back . He handed me a handkerchief to wipe my mouth and I thought .

I cant drink carbonated drinks, can I?

Are you okay? If your body cant handle the alcohol

No, its the bubbles .

Any recollection I had of the faint drink was ruined by the carbon dioxide . Should I reduce it?

I want to pull myself together and try another drink, but hes worried .

Dont worry, Im fine! WineWine isnt carbonated, right?

If you want to try wine, should I get white wine?

Red, please .

When it comes to wine, obviously its red .

The wine is a stunning shimmering crimson with a decadent floral aroma .

Pouring the alluring divine blood into my body

Uuuek .

A grimace crossed my face . What is this tannin, sour and rancid taste? I hate to break it to you but I dont have the stomach to eat and drink spoiled foods .

Eh, isnt this spoiled?

Thats how it tastes . You can eat finger foods while drinking .

As he said this, Patrick ate some cheese and drank the wine .

I tried to follow him but the taste remained the same . Cheese and grape juice is definitely a better combo . Compared to potions it tastes better but there is nothing to recover from drinking wine .

Um, I can drink it if you want me to .

I thought I would choose a brand that was easy to drink . The white wine is more palatable, though .

He recommended that I drink white wine . I realized that I couldnt put my trust in the red wine . It tastes putrid .

The golden-colored liquid is tamer than champagne, it has a refreshing fruity aroma lets stop here . Im expecting the punch of the unpalatable taste .

I drank it with gusto since I couldnt enjoy the taste properly anyway . Thankfully, the white wine was easy to swallow .

Eh? You can drink it normally .

Is it delicious? Im not sure I can wrap my mind around this, so I tried to drink the rest of it slowly, the glass is half full .

I popped a ham cracker into my mouth then sipped the wine .

This might be delicious .

Really? I like it .

We made another toast and leisurely enjoyed the tranquil moment .

Until now, I still dont know what it feels like to be drunk . With my tolerance, my body seems to have recognized it as a poisonous substance . I may not achieve my original goal of erasing memories, but Im content if I can have such a wonderful time .

When I asked for a third, he stopped me .

This is your first time, maybe its time for you to quit . Ill get you some juice

Im fine, Im not drunk .

Despite his apprehension, Patrick poured me another helping . Hes a worrywart, but thats what I like about him . Oh, its getting kinda fun . Im pumped up!

Hey, Patrick .

Whats up?

Nothing, Im just calling your name .

Nevertheless, its indescribably fun . The mood is uplifted and I cant help but the corners of my mouth turn up by themselves . Oh, my facial muscle is still functioning well .

I stared at Patrick, smiling . His emerald eyes were shining with just a hint of light .

He turned away, clearly feeling embarrassed, and said,

Weve known each other for quite a while now, havent we?

Yeah, Im glad to meet you .

Really? Since its been a while, um I-damn

He pulled out a small black box from his pocket . I cant even imagine whats inside the palm-sized box .

He looked unusually shifty . His wandering gaze and nervousness were endearing . Soon he made eye contact with me as he prepared himself . Just looking at each other made me happy .

Revealing what I normally hide out of embarrassment .

Patrick, I love you .

Um

The embarrassed Patrick began to act suspicious again .

I felt a sense of euphoria after just putting my feelings into words . I couldnt suppress my laughter anymore .

Lets laugh together, Im having a good time, I smiled and he replied with a serious look on his face .

Youre drunk, arent you?

Im not drunk, not even a little . I just have a little fun .

Thats what every drunk says .

I know, I know . Its unbecoming, isnt it?

There are several things I remember about drunks who dont admit theyre drunk . Why cant I look at myself objectively? Even if the alcohol has impaired my judgment, why cant I stop drinking before reaching that point? At least, I shouldve kept track of how much Ive been drinking .

I mused as I poured myself a glass of wine, which I didnt keep track of .

So, whats in the box? Sweets? Is this a box of sweets?

This is

No fair, how sneaky! Youre going to eat it all by yourself!

Um, this is you know what, lets call it a day .

The fact that he tried so hard to hide it makes me even more curious . He tried to take the glass from my hand but his outstretched right hand went in the wrong direction . Wow, I didnt know Patrick learned to create an afterimage .

Oh?

Stop drinking, do you want some water?

Nooo! Youre going to take my drink away! Do you hate me that much?

Haa, I like you .

The way he replied made him sound really annoyed . Hehehe, he likes me . I like you too .

Then, how much do you like me? How big is your love?

It just went from endearing to annoying .

Do you hate me?

He told me I was annoying . Then out of nowhere, tears started streaming down my face and dropped onto my glass .

With a sigh, he said .

I like you . Please dont cry .

You said Im such a troublesome woman that means Im annoying, right?

That question is way more complicated than its worth .

His hand wrapped around mine . I reciprocated so I could feel his body heat even more .

You dont have to say how much, I just want you to answer it honestly .

But Im being honest? Whats wrong?

What do you think of me?

I love you .

What a natural response . My feelings are no different than the usual .

Then he covered his face with his free hand and said,

Please tell me that youre sober right now .

Mhm, but more importantly, dont you feel a little bit self-conscious saying what do you think of me? Its embarrassing, but I like it .

Isnt that poles apart?

When I tried to pour another helping, he grabbed my other hand as well . Id like to drink more alcohol but Id much rather be holding hands with him .

Im sure the reason why I was in such an inexplicably happy mood wasnt that I had some drinks but because I was spending my time with Patrick .

We spent some time staring at each others eyes . The silence didnt bother me .

Shall we go back now?

When the moon finally reached its peak, Patrick stood up and asked me that .

I stood up in reflex huh? The ground shook . He supported me as I started to wobble . I cant seem to walk .

Up!

He held me up without saying anything . I wrap my hands around his neck and hold on to him .

This is the closest our face will be today . Theres only one thing to do .

Look at me .

Whats wrong?

When he looked down to stare at me, I stared at him

And I dont know what his reaction was after that . Because I fell asleep in his arms .

The ceiling was the first thing I saw as I woke up . Holding my aching head, I got up and found myself in my room .

Was that a dream?

I had an intense dream . He told me his feelings on his own will No, something that unrealistic cant happen .

Still, it was an amazing dream . No matter how much I think about it, it will never happen . I wish I could tell Patrick I love him in person, just like I did in my dream .

Just then, there was a knock at my door and I heard his voice .

Yumiela, are you awake? Can I come in?

Im up! You can come inside .

He came into my room carrying a jug and a glass on a tray . When I remember what happened in my dream, I could feel my cheeks heating up .

When he offered me a glass of water, he said .

Do you remember what happened yesterday?

Yesterday? What are you talking about?

Nothing, its okay if you dont remember .

Huh? Its a dream but at the same time, its not?

I quickly answered that I didnt remember what happened last night and I tried to ask him .

What did we do yesterday?

We had a drink together, are you sure you dont remember?

So, I wasnt dreaming . Seriously? When I looked down, I saw the clothes that I was wearing yesterday hadnt changed . This is my chance to take it off! No, this isnt the time to think about such things .

Without thinking, I lie . I continue pretending that I dont remember .

Umm I think so? Did I get drunk and rage?

You fell asleep after a sip . Next time, you should refrain from drinking .

Patrick lied .

If his lie is a white lie, then what kind of lie is mine? A cover-up? I made up my mind and put my thoughts into words .

Okay, Ill try not to drink .

Yeah, thats a good idea . You may not have fully recovered yet, so lie down a little longer .

Whether he believed me or not, Patrick tried to leave my room after that .

I get off the bed and follow him . He was about to leave the room and close the door when he finally noticed me and stopped .

The half-opened door opened again but I forced it shut as hard as I could .

Wait!

What do you want?!

Conversing through the door . I feel like I can convey my feeling better with us separated by the door, even if I cant look at him directly in the eye .

I squeezed the doorknob to make sure that he wouldnt open the door .

I like you .

I like you, too .

I could hear him walking away from behind the door .

There, I said it . I could finally say it . Its probably the first time I could express my feelings directly, even if it was in such a roundabout way .

I have to be able to say it without this barrier, I have to break it down .

As I muttered to myself, I heard something snap .

When I looked at my hand, the doorknob I was clutching was broken . This isnt what I was about to destroy, though .

VOL . 2 CHAPTER 19: DRINKING UNDER THE MOONLIGHT

Ever since the incident when I threw a tantrum, the servants in the mansion have been somewhat kinder .

They would watch me play with Ryuu with a smile on their face, secretly giving me sweets behind Patricks back and treating me like a child . As I pop the sweets in my mouth, I wonder: Why cant I eat sweets .

To find out what was going on among the servants, I decided to talk to Rita . She was the only one who didnt change her behavior, for the better or the worst . I hope my unsightly behavior wont dissipate her loyalty . Fortunately, today was business as usual .

While chewing bread filled with sweet cream, I said .

Whats going on here? Whats with all the sweet Ive been getting?

Please swallow before you talk .

Hold on, Ive got five more . Do you want some?

No please take your time to finish them .

In less than a minute, I finished eating and asked Rita again .

Can you tell me why everyone was nice to me?

Its because of what they saw the other day . It was the final straw when they saw Yumiela-sama throwing a tantrum .

Is that the only reason?

In his spare time, Patrick has been telling everyone stories about Yumiela-sama . I see hes been continuing his habit since we arrived here .

I was aware that Patrick and the servants in this mansion were on good enough terms to chat . But I had no idea that he was talking about me .

Ive seen something like this happen before . I heard he kept talking about me when we were in the academy to Prince Edwin when he suspected that I was the Demon King .

I know what hes trying to do . Hes going around clearing the misunderstanding that I caused . Im grateful that hes doing all of this but at the same time, I feel ashamed that I have a hard time letting people know what kind of person I am .

If thats the case, I guess this situation makes sense .

At that moment, two maids passed by in the hallway . I couldnt help but overhear their idle chatter .

Eh? So, she broke through the window and jumped out because she was embarrassed?

I heard Patrick-sama was really concerned her .

But is there anything that could be more embarrassing than what happened last time? If there is any, then anything is possible .

Well, thats Yumiela-sama for you .

Breaking through the window, throwing a tantrum, it seems like the embarrassing memories of it started coming back .

Im still not convinced . I cant get through this without alcohol .

Speaking of which, I dont think Ive had alcohol in my life . The only drink available at the academy parties was juice and I didnt drink at the Dukes party either .

My interest in the unknown beverage was rising, so I went to look for Patrick and asked .

Have you ever drank alcohol?

Yeah whats with the sudden interest?

I found someone not of age who had drinking experience . But there is no law determining the legal drinking age in this kingdom . Of course, kids arent allowed to drink .

I thought Id try a little drink .

Sure, Ill make some arrangements for tonight .

His expression sharpened slightly before he hurried away . Arrangements, huh didnt he only need to buy some alcohol?

That evening, Patrick took me out of the mansion . We strolled through the darkness .

I assumed he had booked a table at a restaurant somewhere, but the road he took led us out of town .

Wait, where are we going?

Its alright, just follow me .

He was more pushy than usual . Suddenly, he held out his left hand?

I dont have anything dangerous on me .

Thats not what I mean .

After that baffling interaction, we kept walking under the night sky .

We finally made it outside the town and made our way through the wind-swept meadows .

And we ended up

Its so pretty .

There were two chairs and a round table in the middle of an empty meadow .

On the table, there were ice-cold bottles and glasses lined up and plates of finger foods .

The table was in a perfect place to watch the moon and the stars .

The sight was absolutely fantastic like the world had been sliced in half .

This is your first time drinking, so I decided to do this .

He was romantic to a fault . While I have no romance in my bones, hes such a hopeless romantic

The dream-like sight of the table had my eyes glued to it, but I shifted them to Patrick . With a gentle smile that I really like, he continued .

This way, you dont have to worry about breaking things or get violent when you are drunk .

Huh?

That being said, the drinking started .

While he was worried about what kind of drunk I am, I didnt think all of this was necessary . As a matter of fact, alcohol is a kind of drug or poison . Since I have a high tolerance for that kind of thing, Im pretty sure I wont get drunk .

As I sat back in my chair, I was given the smallest glass .

I was hoping to act like an adventurer, drinking from a miniature wooden barrel mug . But Ive heard beer and ale taste bitter so this was probably for the best .

He picked up one of the bottles and opened the seal .

What kind of drink is that?

Its champagne . Its easy to drink for a first-timer

The moment I heard the word Champagne, I immediately ducked my body under the table .

That was a close one, he would have warned me in advance before opening the bottle . I heard when you opened the seal, the cork pops out and the contents spurt out like a fountain .

What is it this time?

Champagne is the one that explodes, right? Didnt you learn in the academy to duck under the table during an earthquake and when opening champagne?

I never learned that .

I crawled out nervously after I heard a faint pop sound from above . Then I saw Patrick had finished pouring the champagne into a glass .

I guess I was trying to be careful?

Yeah, but Im used to it .

Are you saying that youre used to people scared of opening champagne? Im relieved to know that this event is uncommon, and Im not the only one .

Returning to my seat, I admire the glistening gold liquid inside the glass under the moonlight .

What an exquisite way to enjoy a fancy drink in an elegant place with your favorite person . I wonder if I can afford to be this happy .

Well, cheers .

Cheers .

The glasses clinked gently like they were kissing, making a nice little sound .

When I tilted my glass, the luscious liquid flowed into my mouth

Cough, cough uwaaaa .

I coughed profusely . Patrick stood up in a rush and came to my side to pat my back . He handed me a handkerchief to wipe my mouth and I thought .

I cant drink carbonated drinks, can I?

Are you okay? If your body cant handle the alcohol

No, its the bubbles .

Any recollection I had of the faint drink was ruined by the carbon dioxide . Should I reduce it?

I want to pull myself together and try another drink, but hes worried .

Dont worry, Im fine! WineWine isnt carbonated, right?

If you want to try wine, should I get white wine?

Red, please .

When it comes to wine, obviously its red .

The wine is a stunning shimmering crimson with a decadent floral aroma .

Pouring the alluring divine blood into my body

Uuuek .

A grimace crossed my face . What is this tannin, sour and rancid taste? I hate to break it to you but I dont have the stomach to eat and drink spoiled foods .

Eh, isnt this spoiled?

Thats how it tastes . You can eat finger foods while drinking .

As he said this, Patrick ate some cheese and drank the wine .

I tried to follow him but the taste remained the same . Cheese and grape juice is definitely a better combo . Compared to potions it tastes better but there is nothing to recover from drinking wine .

Um, I can drink it if you want me to .

I thought I would choose a brand that was easy to drink . The white wine is more palatable, though .

He recommended that I drink white wine . I realized that I couldnt put my trust in the red wine . It tastes putrid .

The golden-colored liquid is tamer than champagne, it has a refreshing fruity aroma lets stop here . Im expecting the punch of the unpalatable taste .

I drank it with gusto since I couldnt enjoy the taste properly anyway . Thankfully, the white wine was easy to swallow .

Eh? You can drink it normally .

Is it delicious? Im not sure I can wrap my mind around this, so I tried to drink the rest of it slowly, the glass is half full .

I popped a ham cracker into my mouth then sipped the wine .

This might be delicious .

Really? I like it .

We made another toast and leisurely enjoyed the tranquil moment .

Until now, I still dont know what it feels like to be drunk . With my tolerance, my body seems to have recognized it as a poisonous substance . I may not achieve my original goal of erasing memories, but Im content if I can have such a wonderful time .

When I asked for a third, he stopped me .

This is your first time, maybe its time for you to quit . Ill get you some juice

Im fine, Im not drunk .

Despite his apprehension, Patrick poured me another helping . Hes a worrywart, but thats what I like about him . Oh, its getting kinda fun . Im pumped up!

Hey, Patrick .

Whats up?

Nothing, Im just calling your name .

Nevertheless, its indescribably fun . The mood is uplifted and I cant help but the corners of my mouth turn up by themselves . Oh, my facial muscle is still functioning well .

I stared at Patrick, smiling . His emerald eyes were shining with just a hint of light .

He turned away, clearly feeling embarrassed, and said,

Weve known each other for quite a while now, havent we?

Yeah, Im glad to meet you .

Really? Since its been a while, um I-damn

He pulled out a small black box from his pocket . I cant even imagine whats inside the palm-sized box .

He looked unusually shifty . His wandering gaze and nervousness were endearing . Soon he made eye contact with me as he prepared himself . Just looking at each other made me happy .

Revealing what I normally hide out of embarrassment .

Patrick, I love you .

Um

The embarrassed Patrick began to act suspicious again .

I felt a sense of euphoria after just putting my feelings into words . I couldnt suppress my laughter anymore .

Lets laugh together, Im having a good time, I smiled and he replied with a serious look on his face .

Youre drunk, arent you?

Im not drunk, not even a little . I just have a little fun .

Thats what every drunk says .

I know, I know . Its unbecoming, isnt it?

There are several things I remember about drunks who dont admit theyre drunk . Why cant I look at myself objectively? Even if the alcohol has impaired my judgment, why cant I stop drinking before reaching that point? At least, I shouldve kept track of how much Ive been drinking .

I mused as I poured myself a glass of wine, which I didnt keep track of .

So, whats in the box? Sweets? Is this a box of sweets?

This is

No fair, how sneaky! Youre going to eat it all by yourself!

Um, this is you know what, lets call it a day .

The fact that he tried so hard to hide it makes me even more curious . He tried to take the glass from my hand but his outstretched right hand went in the wrong direction . Wow, I didnt know Patrick learned to create an afterimage .

Oh?

Stop drinking, do you want some water?

Nooo! Youre going to take my drink away! Do you hate me that much?

Haa, I like you .

The way he replied made him sound really annoyed . Hehehe, he likes me . I like you too .

Then, how much do you like me? How big is your love?

It just went from endearing to annoying .

Do you hate me?

He told me I was annoying . Then out of nowhere, tears started streaming down my face and dropped onto my glass .

With a sigh, he said .

I like you . Please dont cry .

You said Im such a troublesome woman that means Im annoying, right?

That question is way more complicated than its worth .

His hand wrapped around mine . I reciprocated so I could feel his body heat even more .

You dont have to say how much, I just want you to answer it honestly .

But Im being honest? Whats wrong?

What do you think of me?

I love you .

What a natural response . My feelings are no different than the usual .

Then he covered his face with his free hand and said,

Please tell me that youre sober right now .

Mhm, but more importantly, dont you feel a little bit self-conscious saying what do you think of me? Its embarrassing, but I like it .

Isnt that poles apart?

When I tried to pour another helping, he grabbed my other hand as well . Id like to drink more alcohol but Id much rather be holding hands with him .

Im sure the reason why I was in such an inexplicably happy mood wasnt that I had some drinks but because I was spending my time with Patrick .

We spent some time staring at each others eyes . The silence didnt bother me .

Shall we go back now?

When the moon finally reached its peak, Patrick stood up and asked me that .

I stood up in reflex huh? The ground shook . He supported me as I started to wobble . I cant seem to walk .

Up!

He held me up without saying anything . I wrap my hands around his neck and hold on to him .

This is the closest our face will be today . Theres only one thing to do .

Look at me .

Whats wrong?

When he looked down to stare at me, I stared at him

And I dont know what his reaction was after that . Because I fell asleep in his arms .

The ceiling was the first thing I saw as I woke up . Holding my aching head, I got up and found myself in my room .

Was that a dream?

I had an intense dream . He told me his feelings on his own will No, something that unrealistic cant happen .

Still, it was an amazing dream . No matter how much I think about it, it will never happen . I wish I could tell Patrick I love him in person, just like I did in my dream .

Just then, there was a knock at my door and I heard his voice .

Yumiela, are you awake? Can I come in?

Im up! You can come inside .

He came into my room carrying a jug and a glass on a tray . When I remember what happened in my dream, I could feel my cheeks heating up .

When he offered me a glass of water, he said .

Do you remember what happened yesterday?

Yesterday? What are you talking about?

Nothing, its okay if you dont remember .

Huh? Its a dream but at the same time, its not?

I quickly answered that I didnt remember what happened last night and I tried to ask him .

What did we do yesterday?

We had a drink together, are you sure you dont remember?

So, I wasnt dreaming . Seriously? When I looked down, I saw the clothes that I was wearing yesterday hadnt changed . This is my chance to take it off! No, this isnt the time to think about such things .

Without thinking, I lie . I continue pretending that I dont remember .

Umm I think so? Did I get drunk and rage?

You fell asleep after a sip . Next time, you should refrain from drinking .

Patrick lied .

If his lie is a white lie, then what kind of lie is mine? A cover-up? I made up my mind and put my thoughts into words .

Okay, Ill try not to drink .

Yeah, thats a good idea . You may not have fully recovered yet, so lie down a little longer .

Whether he believed me or not, Patrick tried to leave my room after that .

I get off the bed and follow him . He was about to leave the room and close the door when he finally noticed me and stopped .

The half-opened door opened again but I forced it shut as hard as I could .

Wait!

What do you want?!

Conversing through the door . I feel like I can convey my feeling better with us separated by the door, even if I cant look at him directly in the eye .

I squeezed the doorknob to make sure that he wouldnt open the door .

I like you .

I like you, too .

I could hear him walking away from behind the door .

There, I said it . I could finally say it . Its probably the first time I could express my feelings directly, even if it was in such a roundabout way .

I have to be able to say it without this barrier, I have to break it down .

As I muttered to myself, I heard something snap .

When I looked at my hand, the doorknob I was clutching was broken . This isnt what I was about to destroy, though .