"You never have before. Why start now?" She shot back at him accusingly. "What's the real reason you called, Philip? I had a long day and I'm really tired." She had softened her tone of voice. 'Got to watch what I say.' She didn't want him throwing her out before she had a chance to grab his keys.

He sighed and leaned forward, resting his arms on his desk. "Mom, called." He admitted. "She thinks that maybe you weren't coming to our Thursday dinners because of me. Look, I know that we haven't always been close but is spending one night a week together so bad? You know it makes mom happy."

'Not been close is an understatement.' She gritted her teeth and managed somewhat of a smile. "Philip, of course it's not you. Work has just been exhausting lately."

"So you'll be there this week?" As he relaxed and leaned back in his chair, he hit his keys with his elbow and knocked them off his desk. He absentmindedly tossed them back on his desk while waiting for his sister's commitment on dinner.

As Lisa opened her mouth to a.s.sure him, a knock interrupted her. "Sorry, Philip, but I have a client on the phone and I need an answer to a question."

"I'll be back in a minute." Philip left his office, pulling the door closed behind him.

'Bless you.' Lisa thought as she used the opportunity to s.n.a.t.c.h her brother's keys from the desk and drop them into her purse. When Philip returned, she a.s.sured him that she would be there Thursday night. Raven and John had planned on using the family dinner to get into Philip's condo and set up their equipment and Lisa was supposed to let them know when he left the restaurant heading home.

"I'll call mother and let her know since I need to call her anyway to cancel lunch tomorrow. One of the nurses asked to trade off days this week." She explained as he walked her out to the elevators.

Lisa sprinted out of the building and around the corner to the meet John. She handed over the keys explaining that she didn't know which ones were which. John sat in back of the van and cut duplicates of each one as Lisa nervously paced. He handed back the originals and she headed back towards Philip's office.

She met her brother in the lobby. "I was just on my way back up. I must have picked up your keys when I left, thinking they were mine." She held them out for him.

"I know, I was going to try to catch up with you." Philip took them and headed back for the elevator. "I'll see you Thursday."

"You look a little apprehensive." Raven stated to her sister who was pacing back and forth in front of the window.

"I am." Lisa admitted. "Not because of what we're doing, but I'm worried that I'll let my temper get the better of me and I'll say something I shouldn't and give us away."

"You'll be okay." Kris walked over to join her at the window. They were at Lisa's apartment waiting on John. "Just think about him finally having to admit what a lying son of a b.i.t.c.h he's been and it'll make having to deal with him tonight worthwhile."

"That might get me through." Lisa sighed as she opened the door before John could knock. She had seen him heading towards the house while she had paced at the window.

John had heard the sigh and misinterpreted it. He thought that she might be feeling a little guilty since she was dating a cop and what they were doing was against the law. He knew from their discussions earlier that she had wanted to include Andy in their plans until Raven had pointed out that Andy would have to arrest them for what they were about to do. "Don't worry, Lisa. A famous writer once said, 'To do a great right, do a little wrong. And curb this cruel devil of his will.'" He stated dramatically.

Lisa looked at him strangely.

"He likes to quote Shakespeare." Raven explained. "Unfortunately his delivery needs a little work." She said as she walked past John and into the hallway.

Kris followed her. "The Merchant of Venice wasn't one of my favorites." She told John as she slipped past him. "I like the comedies."

"Yeah me too." Raven waited on Kris before she started for the stairs. "A Midsummer-Nights Dream is more my style."

"I'm beginning to think that I'm the only person in the world that doesn't read this guy." Lisa said while closing and locking her door.

"Nope, there's two of us." John whispered as Lisa descended the stairs beside him. "Don't tell your sister, but I really don't like it." He admitted. "I only started reading it because Sharon does. And because it drives your sister crazy when I start spouting quotes."

Lisa laughed. "Your secret's safe with me." She a.s.sured him as they joined the other two waiting beside the van.

Lisa stayed mostly calm through dinner; the only thing that betrayed her turmoil was the constant checking of her watch.

"Is there somewhere else you need to be?" Cynthia asked, exasperated by her daughter's lack of interest in her companions and conversation. "Are we keeping you from something?"

"Or someone?" Philip laughed. "A hot date maybe?"

"I do not have a date, Philip." Lisa felt like kicking him. She knew it would give her mother an excuse to quiz her, not that she had ever needed one before.

"I would have thought that you would have met someone by now." Cynthia directed her comments to her daughter. "Are there no nice young eligible doctors at that hospital you work in?"

"Mother." Lisa said tiredly. "I've explained to you before that it's not like the soap operas you watch. We all have a job to do and our patients depend on us doing that job to the best of our ability, not flirting with the doctors. And besides, a lot of the doctors now-a-days are women."

Surprisingly her mother didn't dwell on doctors, eligible or otherwise and Lisa was able to tune out most of the conversation that accompanied dessert.

Lisa said a hasty goodnight and quickly left before her mother could make Philip offer to drive her home. She waited around the corner for her brother to leave and dialed Raven's cell phone number to alert them. She then waited on the van to pick her up. "Did you have enough time?" She asked as she climbed in the front pa.s.senger side door.

"Yes." John answered as he pulled back into traffic. "We've tested the equipment and everything's working. So tomorrow night, we'll rig his office and be all set."

Raven was sitting quietly in the back seat with Kris. Being in her brother's place had upset her more than she thought it would have. She saw photos of Cynthia, Philip and Lisa together as a family, but none of her or Derek. It was like the two of them never existed. She knew she should have expected nothing less but she was bothered by the fact that Philip could so easily dismiss them and his guilt.

Kris, aware of the distress her lover was in, snuggled up next to Raven. "Do you still want to go through with this?" She asked in a low voice so that Raven was the only one to hear.

She managed a slight smile. "Yes, I do. I think I've figured out that I need some sort of closure with Philip and my mother. Maybe this will bring it about." Raven also spoke softly.

"And if it doesn't?"

"We'll cross that bridge if we have to. Let's see what happens with this first." She put her arm around her partner's shoulders and pulled her close.

"Okay, Taz." Kris patted the hard stomach her hand rested against. "But if this doesn't work, I'll just hafta go rough him up some."

Raven started laughing and told the two sets of eyes staring at her that 'Rocky' here had offered to play the 'muscle' and beat up Philip for them. It was the perfect distraction to the tense situation and allowed everybody to relax.

They had set Sat.u.r.day night as the first night of their campaign but had to postpone until Sunday since Philip decided not to co-operate by going out.

Sunday night found the gang, this time including Granny, headed toward the van that Raven had dubbed 'Mystery Machine' which she admittedly stole from the s...o...b.. cartoon and by some strange coincidence, was painted green.

Raven tossed John the keys. "You drive, Freddie."

John caught them against his chest. "Hey, whose Freddie?"

"He was the tall blonde-haired all-American type guy." Kris answered. "In the cartoon." She clarified when John looked at her in confusion.

"Oh, well that fits." He mumbled as he jogged to catch up. "I can see how you arrived at that a.n.a.logy, I mean we must be mirror images." He chuckled when his boss stuck her tongue out at him.

"Hey, can I be Velma?" Granny asked as the crew climbed into the van. "I always liked her and I've already got the gla.s.ses."

"Of course you can." Lisa stated. She remembered watching one of the s...o...b.. movies with the kids when she was working the children's ward. "She's the smart one, right?"

"Jenkies, thanks guys." Granny's statement was greeted with rolling eyes and shaking heads. "Hey, I was just getting into character."

"You can be Daphne." Raven spoke up and patted Kris' knee.

Kris crossed her arms over her chest. "Isn't she the klutz?"

The warning tone in her partner's voice told Raven that she had better come up with a good response. "She's the pretty one."

"Nice save." Lisa stated and the others laughed. "I claim s.h.a.ggy." She quickly added after realizing which two characters were left to chose from.

"But you're not tall enough." Granny protested.

"But she is skinny enough." Raven countered.

Kris chuckled. "Well, we all know which one that leaves for you, hound dog." She turned her head to stare at her companion.

"Hey." Raven stated indignantly. "He's a Great Dane not a hound dog."

John pulled into a parking s.p.a.ce on the street behind the building where Philip's condo was located. "We're here." He announced and the others quieted down.

"Okay, let's see what the jacka.s.s is doing." Raven unfastened her seat belt and moved to the back of the van. She flipped the switches on the monitors as the others gathered around. "What the f.u.c.k is that?" She asked in disbelief.

Five pairs of eyes stared at the screen that gave them an un.o.bstructed view of the living room. Several seconds past in stunned silence then a somewhat weak version of the Tarzan yell blasted through the speakers.

"Oh my G.o.d." Lisa mumbled as she shook her head. John snickered and Granny put her hand over her mouth to keep for laughing out loud.

Continued in Part 7.

The Athenaeum's Scroll Archive.

* Leather and Lace *

by Greek Warrior.

Disclaimer #1: This is an Uber story and the characters that appear in this story may seem familiar but aren't the same as the ones we all know and love. All the characters that appear here are made up from my deranged little mind. They're fict.i.tious and aren't meant to resemble anyone. This is all done in fun and yes I know I need to get a life.

Disclaimer #2: Taz belongs to the folks at Warner Brothers Studios. s...o...b.. Doo belongs to Hanna-Barberra. The X-Files belongs to somebody other than me, anything you recognize isn't mine folks, I got tired of looking this stuff up.

Warning: This story contains explicit consensual s.e.x between adult women. If you're under legal age in your neck of the woods, go away. If you live in a place that frowns upon that sort of behavior, tell'em to kiss your derrire then talk to your Congressman, or move, or both.

Warning: This story contains violence. We are talking about a certain warrior's descendant, you know.

Note: The quote at the end of chapter one is from Shakespeare's 'Romeo and Juliet'.

Feedback is most welcome as long as it's constructive. Remember, you catch more flies with honey than with vinegar, although I've always wondered why anyone would want a bunch of flies! I can be contacted at Thanks for reading.

Note: Astolpho's at the Marcello Hotel is a completely fict.i.tious restaurant and hotel.

Part 7.

Chapter Twenty-Three:.

"Is that your brother?" Kris asked as she leaned on Raven's shoulder and continued to stare at the images displayed on the screen.

"Yeah, unfortunately it is." Lisa shuddered but was unable to look away.

"Oh my." Granny chuckled. "He's very...inventive."

"He's a lunatic." Raven stated, the aggravation clearly coming through in her voice.

"Some couples role play to liven up their s.e.x lives." John shrugged. "But Jane there," he pointed to the female figure on the screen. "Doesn't look like she wants to be caught."

The scene they inadvertently intruded upon, had Philip dressed in a fake leopard skin toga that fastened over one shoulder and thankfully covered his b.u.t.t and groin areas, but left his pasty white bony legs visible. He was chasing around a supposedly helpless female dressed in a two-piece fake leopard skin bikini. Every once in awhile he would stop his chase and pound on his chest with his fists and shout out his version of the Tarzan yell.

"He really should quit." Raven said after a particularly painful sounding yell. "I think he's hurting himself."

"Maybe we should turn it off and give them time to...you know." Lisa suggested.

"Wait." John's shout stopped Raven, as she was about to hit the b.u.t.ton to turn the monitor off. "She's about to bounce out of the top that she's almost wearing."

"John, shame on you." Kris slapped his shoulder. "You're an engaged man."

"Yes, but it doesn't hurt to look." He shrugged his shoulders. "And she's really got a nice set of hooters to look at." He grinned.

"You're disgusting." Raven shook her head.

"No." John clarified. "I'm a man."

"Isn't that what I just said?" Raven innocently mumbled.

"I heard that." John stated.

"Give it up, John." Granny laughed. "You're way out numbered."

"Hey you guys?" Lisa got their attention. "Do you think she's his date or...is he just renting her for the night?" Lisa's polite way of asking if she was a hooker.

They looked at her, then studied the woman that made the mistake of running into the bedroom and was now trapped.