Other research has found that the employment partic.i.p.ation rates of women vary across professions. A study of women from the Harvard graduating cla.s.ses of 1988 to 1991 found that fifteen years after graduation, married women with children who had become M.D.s had the highest labor force partic.i.p.ation rate (94.2%), while married women with children who went on to get other degrees had much lower labor force partic.i.p.ation rates: Ph.D.s (85.5%), J.D.s (77.6%), MBAs (71.7%). These findings suggest professional cultures play a role in women's rates of employment. See Jane Leber Herr and Catherine Wolfram, "Work Environment and 'Opt-Out' Rates at Motherhood Across Higher-Education Career Paths" (November 2011), http://faculty.haas.berkeley.edu/wolfram/Papers/OptOut_ILRRNov11.pdf.

12. This survey of Yale alumni from the cla.s.ses of 1979, 1984, 1989, and 1994 was conducted in 2000 as cited in Louise Story, "Many Women at Elite Colleges Set Career Path to Motherhood," New York Times, September 20, 2005, http://www.nytimes.com/2005/09/20/national/20women.html?pagewanted=all.

13. Amy Sennett, "Work and Family: Life After Princeton for the Cla.s.s of 2006" (July 2006), http://www.princeton.edu/~paw/archive_new/PAW0506/150719/features_familylife.html.

14. Hewlett and Luce, "Off-Ramps and On-Ramps," 46.

15. Stephen J. Rose and Heidi I. Hartmann, Still a Man's Labor Market: The Long-Term Earnings Gap, Inst.i.tute for Women's Policy Research (2004), 10, http://www.aecf.org/upload/publicationfiles/fes3622h767.pdf.

16. Ibid.

17. Hewlett and Luce, "Off-Ramps and On-Ramps," 46.

8. MAKE YOUR PARTNER A REAL PARTNER

1. Melissa A. Milkie, Sara B. Raley, and Suzanne M. Bianchi, "Taking on the Second Shift: Time Allocations and Time Pressures of U.S. Parents with Preschoolers," Social Forces 88, no. 2 (2009): 487517.

2. Scott S. Hall and Sh.e.l.ley M. MacDermid, "A Typology of Dual Earner Marriages Based on Work and Family Arrangements," Journal of Family and Economic Issues 30, no. 3 (2009): 220.

3. Between 1965 and 2000, the amount of time per week that married fathers spent on child care almost tripled and the amount of time married fathers spent on housework more than doubled. In 1965, married fathers spent 2.6 hours per week on child care. In 2000, married fathers spent 6.5 hours per week on child care. Most of this increase occurred after 1985. In 1965, married fathers spent about 4.5 hours per week on housework. In 2000, married fathers spent almost 10 hours per week on housework. The largest increase in the time spent on housework took place between 1965 and 1985. The amount of time married fathers spend each week doing housework has not increased much since 1985. See Suzanne M. Bianchi, John P. Robinson, and Melissa A. Milkie, Changing Rhythms of American Family Life (New York: Russell Sage Foundation, 2006). a.n.a.lysis done by Hook (2006) of twenty countries found that between 1965 and 2003, employed, married fathers increased the amount of unpaid domestic work they performed by about six hours per week. See Jennifer L. Hook, "Care in Context: Men's Unpaid Work in 20 Countries, 19652003," American Sociological Review 71, no. 4 (2006): 63960.

4. Let.i.tia Anne Peplau and Leah R. Spalding, "The Close Relationships of Lesbians, Gay Men, and Bis.e.xuals," in Close Relationships: A Sourcebook, ed. Clyde A. Hendrick and Susan S. Hendrick (Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage, 2000), 11124; and Sondra E. Solomon, Esther D. Rothblum, and Kimberly F. Balsam, "Money, Housework, s.e.x, and Conflict: Same-s.e.x Couples in Civil Unions, Those Not in Civil Unions, and Heteros.e.xual Married Siblings," s.e.x Roles 52, nos. 910 (2005): 56175.

5. Lynda Laughlin, Who's Minding the Kids? Child Care Arrangements: Spring 2005 and Summer 2006, U.S. Census Bureau, Current Population Reports, P70121 (August 2010), 1. For a commentary, see K.J. Dell'Antonia, "The Census Bureau Counts Fathers as 'Child Care,' " New York Times, February 8, 2012, http://parenting.blogs.nytimes.com/2012/02/08/the-census-bureau-counts-fathers-as-child-care/.

6. Laughlin, Who's Minding the Kids?, 79.

7. Maria Shriver, "Gloria Steinem," Interview, July 15, 2011, http://www.interviewmagazine.com/culture/gloria-steinem/.

8. For a review of studies on maternal gatekeeping, see Sarah J. Schoppe-Sullivan et al., "Maternal Gatekeeping, Coparenting Quality, and Fathering Behavior in Families with Infants," Journal of Family Psychology 22, no. 3 (2008): 38990.

9. Sarah M. Allen and Alan J. Hawkins, "Maternal Gatekeeping: Mothers' Beliefs and Behaviors That Inhibit Greater Father Involvement in Family Work," Journal of Marriage and Family 61, no. 1 (1999): 209.

10. Richard L. Zweigenhaft and G. William Domhoff, The New CEOs: Women, African American, Latino and Asian American Leaders of Fortune 500 Companies (Lanham, MD: Rowman & Littlefield, 2011), 2829.

11. James B. Stewart, "A C.E.O.'s Support System, a k a Husband," New York Times, November 4, 2011, http://www.nytimes.com/2011/11/05/business/a-ceos-support-system-a-k-a-husband.html?pagewanted=all.

12. Pamela Stone, Opting Out? Why Women Really Quit Careers and Head Home (Berkeley: University of California Press, 2007), 62.

13. Stewart, "A C.E.O.'s Support System."

14. For a thorough review, see Michael E. Lamb, The Role of the Father in Child Development (Hoboken, NJ: John Wiley & Sons, 2010); and Anna Sarkadi et al., "Fathers' Involvement and Children's Developmental Outcomes: A Systematic Review of Longitudinal Studies," Acta Paediatrica 97, no. 2 (2008): 15358.

15. Elisabeth Duursma, Barbara Alexander Pan, and Helen Raikes, "Predictors and Outcomes of Low-Income Fathers' Reading with Their Toddlers," Early Childhood Research Quarterly 23, no. 3 (2008): 35165; Joseph H. Pleck and Brian P. Masciadrelli, "Paternal Involvement in U.S. Residential Fathers: Levels, Sources, and Consequences," in The Role of the Father in Child Development, ed. Michael E. Lamb (Hoboken, NJ: John Wiley & Sons, 2004): 22271; Ronald P. Rohner and Robert A. Veneziano, "The Importance of Father Love: History and Contemporary Evidence," Review of General Psychology 5, no. 4 (2001): 382405; W. Jean Yeung, "Fathers: An Overlooked Resource for Children's Educational Success," in After the Bell-Family Background, Public Policy, and Educational Success, ed. Dalton Conley and Karen Albright (London: Routledge, 2004), 14569; and Lois W. Hoffman and Lise M. Youngblade, Mothers at Work: Effects on Children's Well-Being (Cambridge: Cambridge University Press, 1999).

16. For a review of studies on the impact of fathers on children's emotional and social development, see Rohner and Veneziano, "The Importance of Father Love," 392.

17. Robyn J. Ely and Deborah L. Rhode, "Women and Leadership: Defining the Challenges," in Handbook of Leadership Theory and Practice, ed. Nitin Nohria and Rakesh Khurana (Boston: Harvard Business School Publishing, 2010), 377410; and Deborah L. Rhode and Joan C. Williams, "Legal Perspectives on Employment Discrimination," in s.e.x Discrimination in the Workplace: Multidisciplinary Perspectives, ed. Faye J. Crosby, Margaret S. Stockdale, and S. Ann Ropp (Malden, MA: Blackwell, 2007), 23570. A survey of fifty-three Fortune 100 companies found that 73.6 percent offered mothers paid family or disability leave, but only 32.1 percent offered fathers paid family leave. See Joint Economic Committee of the U.S. Congress, Paid Family Leave at Fortune 100 Companies: A Basic Standard but Still Not a Gold Standard (March 2008), 6.

18. The five states that have short-term disability insurance programs that provide paid medical leave for birth mothers are California, Hawaii, New Jersey, New York, and Rhode Island. California and New Jersey also provide six weeks of paid leave that can be used by either the mother or the father. The state of Washington has pa.s.sed a paid parental leave law but has been unable to implement it due to budgetary constraints. See National Partnership for Women & Families, Expecting Better: A State-by-State a.n.a.lysis of Laws That Help New Parents (May 2012).

19. A survey of nearly one thousand fathers working in white-collar jobs for large companies found that about 75 percent of them took only one week off or less when their partners had a baby and 16 percent didn't take any time off at all. See Brad Harrington, Fred Van Deusen, and Beth Humberd, The New Dad: Caring, Committed and Conflicted, Boston College, Center for Work & Family (2011): 1415. A report on California's new paid family leave policy found that fathers who made use of the policy took a median of three weeks off to care for and bond with their babies. See Eileen Applebaum and Ruth Milkman, Leaves That Pay: Employer and Worker Experiences with Paid Family Leave in California, Center for Economic and Policy Research (January 2011), 18.

20. Joan C. Williams and Heather Boushey, The Three Faces of Work-Family Conflict: The Poor, The Professionals, and the Missing Middle, Center for American Progress and Center for WorkLife Law (January 2010), 5455, http://www.americanprogress.org/issues/2010/01/three_faces_report.html.

21. Laurie A. Rudman and Kris Mescher, "Penalizing Men Who Request a Family Leave: Is Flexibility Stigma a Femininity Stigma?," Journal of Social Issues, forthcoming.

22. Jennifer L. Berhdahl and Sue H. Moon, "Workplace Mistreatment of Middle-Cla.s.s Workers Based on s.e.x, Parenthood, and Caregiving," Journal of Social Issues, forthcoming; Adam B. Butler and Amie Skattebo, "What Is Acceptable for Women May Not Be for Men: The Effect of Family Conflicts with Work on Job-Performance Ratings," Journal of Occupational and Organization Psychology 77, no. 4 (2004): 55364; Julie Holliday Wayne and Bryanne L. Cordeiro, "Who Is a Good Organizational Citizen? Social Perception of Male and Female Employees Who Use Family Leave," s.e.x Roles 49, nos. 56 (2003): 23346; and Tammy D. Allen and Joyce E. A. Russell, "Parental Leave of Absence: Some Not So Family-Friendly Implications," Journal of Applied Social Psychology 29, no. 1 (1999): 16691.

23. In 2011, fathers made up 3.4 percent of stay-at-home parents. See U.S. Census Bureau, "Table SHP-1 Parents and Children in Stay-at-Home Parent Family Groups: 1994 to Present," America's Families and Living Arrangements, Current Population Survey, Annual Social and Economic Supplement (2011), http://webcache.googleusercontent.com/search?q=cache:ffg107mTTwAJ:www.census.gov/population/socdemo/hhfam/shp1.xls+&cd=3&hl=en&ct=clnk&gl=us. For a review of research about the social isolation of stay-at-home fathers, see Brad Harrington, Fred Van Deusen, and Iyar Mazar, The New Dad: Right at Home, Boston College, Center for Work & Family (2012), 6.

24. A study of 207 stay-at-home fathers found that about 45 percent of them reported receiving a negative comment or judgmental reaction from another adult. The source of the vast majority of these derogatory comments and reactions was stay-at-home mothers. See Aaron B. Rochlen, Ryan A. McKelley, and Tiffany A. Whittaker, "Stay-at-Home Fathers' Reasons for Entering the Role and Stigma Experiences: A Preliminary Report," Psychology of Men & Masculinity 11, no. 4 (2010): 282.

25. In 2010, wives earned more than their husbands in 29.2 percent of families in which both wives and husbands had earnings. See Bureau of Labor Statistics, Wives Who Earn More Than Their Husbands, 19872010, 19882011, Annual Social and Economic Supplements to the Current Population Survey, http://webcache.googleusercontent.com/search?q=cache:r-eatNjOmLsJ:www.bls.gov/cps/wives_earn_more.xls+&cd=7&hl=en&ct=clnk&gl=us.

26. The Cambridge Women's p.o.r.nography Cooperative, p.o.r.n for Women (San Francisco: Chronicle Books, 2007).

27. For a review see Scott Coltrane, "Research on Household Labor: Modeling and Measuring Social Embeddedness of Routine Family Work," Journal of Marriage and Family 62, no. 4 (2000): 120833.

28. Lynn Price Cook, " 'Doing' Gender in Context: Household Bargaining and Risk of Divorce in Germany and the United States," American Journal of Sociology 112, no. 2 (2006): 44272.

29. Scott Coltrane, Family Man: Fatherhood, Housework, and Gender Equality (Oxford: Oxford University Press, 1996).

30. For a discussion of earnings and bargaining power in the household, see Frances Woolley, "Control Over Money in Marriage," in Marriage and the Economy: Theory and Evidence from Advanced Industrial Societies, ed. Shoshana A. Grossbard-Shechtman and Jacob Mincer (Cambridge: Cambridge University Press, 2003), 10528; and Leora Friedberg and Anthony Webb, "Determinants and Consequences of Bargaining Power in Households," NBER Working Paper 12367 (July 2006), http://www.nber.org/papers/w12367. For research on employment mitigating the financial consequences of divorce for women, see Matthew McKeever and Nicholas H. Wolfinger, "Reexamining the Economic Costs of Marital Disruption for Women," Social Science Quarterly 82, no. 1 (2001): 20217. For a discussion of women, longevity, and financial security, see Laura L. Carstensen, A Long Bright Future: An Action Plan for a Lifetime of Happiness, Health, and Financial Security (New York: Broadway Books, 2009).

31. Constance T. Gager and Scott T. Yabiku, "Who Has the Time? The Relationship Between Household Labor Time and s.e.xual Frequency," Journal of Family Issues 31, no. 2 (2010): 13563; Neil Chethik, Voice Male: What Husbands Really Think About Their Marriages, Their Wives, s.e.x, Housework, and Commitment (New York: Simon & Schuster, 2006); and K. V. Rao and Alfred DeMaris, "Coital Frequency Among Married and Cohabitating Couples in the United States," Journal of Biosocial Science 27, no. 2 (1995): 13550.

32. Sanjiv Gupta, "The Consequences of Maternal Employment During Men's Childhood for Their Adult Housework Performance," Gender & Society 20, no. 1 (2006): 6086.

33. Richard W. Johnson and Joshua M. Wiener, A Profile of Frail Older Americans and Their Caregivers, Occasional Paper Number 8, The Retirement Project, Urban Inst.i.tute (February 2006), http://www.urban.org/UploadedPDF/311284_older_americans.pdf.

34. Gloria Steinem, "Gloria Steinem on Progress and Women's Rights," interview by Oprah Winfrey, Oprah's Next Chapter, YouTube video, 3:52 minutes, April 16, 2012, published by Oprah Winfrey Network, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=orrmWHnFjqI&feature=relmfu.

35. This survey of just over one thousand adults found that 80 percent of men in their forties said that "doing work which challenges me to use my skills and abilities" was very important to them. Among men in their twenties and thirties, the survey found that 82 percent of them said that "having a work schedule which allows me to spend time with my family" was very important to them. See Radcliffe Public Policy Center, Life's Work: Generational Att.i.tudes Toward Work and Life Integration (Cambridge, MA: Radcliffe Public Policy Center, 2000).

9. THE MYTH OF DOING IT ALL

1. Sharon Poczter, "For Women in the Workplace, It's Time to Abandon 'Have it All' Rhetoric," Forbes, June 25, 2012, http://www.forbes.com/sites/realspin/2012/06/25/for-women-in-the-workplace-its-time-to-abandon-have-it-all-rhetoric/.