Chapter 4

A new dawn has arrived.

I mean yesterdays dawn.

Then does it still count as new?

Josak, whos swinging his arms together with me, interrupts from my side.

Im sitting cross-kegged on the narrow lifeboat, happily stretching my arms and looking up into the sky. The sky above me is dusted with a thin veil of clouds, the sun playing peekaboo from between themthe weather has been like this since morning. Something worth being grateful for, is that now isnt the time when the sun beats down on us from above, if we were hit directly by that kind of sun, wed probably be long since dehydrated.

As for whyTheres no water onboard.

Were drifting on a world of water called the sea, but theres no fresh water that can wet our throats and sustain life within reach, and there isnt any food either. If it was just a couple days, we can still handle it. For that, I have to be grateful that I usually get enough food, and I have quite a bit of meat on my stomach and thighs. For that, I have to grateful that this is a time of ample food, and be grateful for my muscles too.

To show gratitude to the muscles on me, I have to give them the appropriate stimuli regularly. It doesnt matter if Im currently in a narrow place where I cant stand up whenever I want. If we dont exercise more while we can move, our blood vessels will get obstructed and produce lactic acid. I want to at least move my upper body a bit, so I very diligently do radio aerobics[1], and recently Ive even invented a sit-down version of the exercise on my own.

Its very important to do relaxing or stretching exercises, you know! It can also prevent us finally getting to go on holiday abroad, only to get economy class syndrome[2].

The only one amongst us who has experienced air travel, Lord Weller, corrects me half-heartedly,

Youre talking about a plane, but were on a boat now.

Its basically the same, sheesh.

My tone is so bad even I think its not very nice of me. Maybe its because he noticed the weird atmosphere between us? Saralegui creases his neat brows, saying,

What is that weird exercise? Is it a mazoku habit? Waving your limbs like a monkey, how fascinating.

These are radio aerobics, you know. Its normal if youve never seen it. In order to live an active and effective life, I do these every morning during my summer break!

Is that soThen are those Actie and Effectie husband and wife?

That, I dont know.

Yuuri, are you feeling uncomfortable? Are you seasick but pretending to be okay?

Im fine, and I dont feel uncomfortable anywhere, my body feels perfectly fine!

But why dont I think so? Ah! Turns out youre like me, whenever youre in the sun or the sea breeze, the skin on your face and fingers get really dry.

Mmph!

He leans over to caress my face, a hint of sadness in his eyes behind those pale-colored lenses.

No wonder, we havent soaked in a bath for almost two days, theres not even a chance for us to wash off the salt on our bodies with plain water. Ah~ how I wish I could soak in hot water full of medicinal properties, to let the warm steam open up my pores, and get rid of all the old filth. Yuuri thinks the same, right? Otherwise your skin will be just like that fake woman over there! No way, thatd be too much of a waste.

What did you say, hah?

I see the muscles in Josaks face twitching. Although doing so now is a bit weird, I still hastily squeeze in between the spy and the king from another country.

B-but I was always a baseball boy that likes being in the sun, and loves outdoor activities, so this degree of sun is nothing! Dont need to feel sorry for me, really. Gurrier has been stressed out a lot too, right? Because Im just too useless, so you have to spend your mind and energy to take care of me, Im so sorry.

Lord Weller, with his arms on his knees supporting his chin, looks out into the waves with an expression of apathy. And the few Shou Shimaron crewmen stop their rowing actions to keep glancing our way. Since theyre already bone-dead exhausted, if they heard such a stupid conversation, theyd surely feel uneasy.

Ah~ Sorry, lets switch! Ill go over there right now.

When I move along the narrow boat with my waist bent low, Josak shrugs helplessly and follows me without a word. Although I volunteered to join the rowing team, but after four rounds even hes run out of things to say.

The Shou Shimaron king Saralegui and his cargo ship crewmen, and the kings guard Lord Weller, add that to Josak and I, and that makes the twelve of squeezed into this cramped lifeboat, drifting on the sea for an entire day. Yesterday evening when we escaped from the cargo ship, the land looked like it was just ahead. But once we really boarded a small boat without a sail, and move forward with only the power of a few people rowing, we finally realize that the distance hasnt been shortening at all. Although we can see the brown land with our naked eyes, but the direction of the waves is the opposite of our rowing.

But Sara, I know you really like baths, but cant you have a bit of a sense of danger? Heyyour Majesty the King, do you know the current situation? Were basically in a wreck!

Is that so

Saralegui hugs his cheeks with his palms, replying in the tone of someone unaware of the seriousness of the situation.

But the mastermind who lied to them that the cargo ship has a problem, and forced them into this situation, is yours truly.

In my sixteen years of life being unpopular with the ladies, forget being chased, I havent even experienced someone coming up to me of their own accord. Right now, though, because of my absurd lies, this group of men physically better than me by several times are drifting with me on foreign waters.

Eh~ And we can already see the land, too.

Young Master, do you want to help row? Or will you just leave it to me? Can I please ask you to make a decision?

Ill row, Ill row, of course Ill row. Although every time I row I might just be using the power of three swings.

The pale brown land can only be seen the split second when the boat is lifted high by a wave, but at least were not drifting in the dead center of the Pacific, and our target is very obvious. I cheer myself up that way, and continue holding the wooden oars covered with splinters.

The orange-haired spy beside me blows a hua-hua-puuhua-hua-puu whistle as he deftly handles the oars. This rhythm seems sort of familiar. His pride-- those biceps, are also peeking out from underneath his rolled-up chefs outfit. Doesnt he feel cold? Even though I havent rolled up my sleeves, I feel cold, instead.

How cold If we go on like this, itll be even worse when the sun sets Mn?

I just happen to look around the ocean surface, and notice a white object surfacing from the waves, so I rub my eyes, which I can barely open in the sea breeze, and blurrily see someones arm.

Arm? I let go of the oars and rub my eyes again to look closely. Using my 2.0 vision to carefully determine it, it really looks like a human arm, or I should say it simply is a human arm.

Waa! This is bad, bad! Conrad, your arm, is your arm still there!?

Its still here, Your Majesty?

Before suspecting why there would be a human arm in the middle of the sea, I worry first about Lord Wellers left arm, and he replies honestly too. Now isnt the time to feel awkward.

A-arm, arm, arm, arm, theres an arm there!

I use the exaggerated reaction of someone in a two-hour long detective series, pointing at the white thing, and by now the Shou Shimaron crewmen have started fidgeting as well. The base underneath that slender long forearm doesnt seem to be affected by the waves, staying where it is without budging. Is this a horror film in the middle of the sea? Or a lonely water ballet solo!?

Save them, first we must save them!

Josak, a few of the crewmen and I grab the oars and start rowing desperately, the boat quickly dashes up to the arm, until we can clearly see that pale palm, but there arent any life lines on it.

Should we say, Hang in there, Im coming to save you!?

I dont know Ah, Young Master, really!

Waa!

I shut my eyes tightly despite myself. The cold and bloated skin, feels like rubber to the touch, completely unlike a live human arm.

Its not a floating corpse, is it?

M-maybe. EeeekIt feels, a little, disgusting

I dont know what kind of funerals seamen have, but if you want me to let go of a hand I held and ignore it, I cant do that either. Although Im a little scared thinking of what may be under that arm, I still resist the terror and pull that arm.

That heavy and white arm gets closer and closer to the boat, Josak leans out to try and give me a hand, while some kind crewmen also try to observe whats in the water from the side. Just as Im about to exert more force and pull them up

I make a very embarrassing scream, and try to let go of that right hand.

Whats the matter!?

Hes grabbing me! This guy grabbed my hand Waa!

In that moment I am almost completely pulled into the sea, and I hastily grab the side of the lifeboat. Josak also hugs my waist in time, preventing me from being pulled under.

Yuuri!

Conrad yells in a nervous voice completely unlike him, and just as hes running over here, the lifeboat starts swaying from side to side. In spite of myself, the do not run on the boat warning flashes into my mind.

No way, sheesh, its not working! Dont hold my pants, hold my legs! Hold my legs tightly! Waamy pants are gonna come off, my pants are gonna come off! Im not a male stripper!

I know, stripping is Gurriers job!

Your Majesty, please calm down. Those guys mean well.

A warm hand touches my back, like comforting a childits a familiar touch to me.

Those guys?

Im pulled by a strong force until my entire face is almost plastered to the ocean surface, and I finally see the countless creatures in the water. A school of fish the size of tuna with sparkling silver scales, are fanning past the blue water and swimming, carefree.

By swimming, I mean swimming with their deft limbs.

Fish have arms and legs

Maidmer princesses.

The owner of the arm lets go of my hand and jumps out of the water, the violent leap splashing water into the boat. He has a pair of legs too, no, judging from the white and soft legs, that was probably a she.

But those guys with a lot of leg hair, are they male maidmer princesses?

No, theyre manmer lords. Their people need a long time to grow limbs, and then they change from fish-shaped to humanoid.

That should count as an evolution, right? Speaking of which, last time I carried one in the Shin Makoku sewers, huh? Or should I say it was a maidmer princess.

Back then I thought she was Murata.

Oh~ If thats the case

The maidmer princesses and manmer lords wave their hands in the blue and clear water, and caught within the current that they created, the lifeboat is already moving towards the land at a fairly smooth speed.

They must be here to repay Your Highness kindness.

Dont call me Your Majesty

I suddenly regain my sanity, and say so as I move my gaze to somewhere else, Im scared to look at his face.

My wet fringe is plastered tightly to my forehead, making me uncomfortable, so I simply push it upwards, and the seawater that drips down has a piercing smell of the sea.

Your Your Majesty isnt me, right.

My voice has suddenly become very stiff, and Lord Wellers curt answer is as cold as ice.

I apologize in my haste I didnt notice.

After saying that, he turns and returns to Saraleguis side. Josak mutters with his mouth slanted sideways, his tone and voice full of contempt,

What a bother~ Such a draggy man, my Young Master is a lot manlier than you.

How am I manly?

Dont make me laugh!

If my will was strong enough, no matter what others call me, I should be able to reply with a laugh, right? Its exactly because Im narrowed-hearted that I reacted that way, if I knew how to think for others, then I wouldnt be blowing off on any little thing.

I put all my strength into waving my arms, offering my gratitude to the maidmer princesses and the manmer lords. This time they will definitely send us to Seisakoku!

Theres nowhere better to take a foreign lady in a kimono with what looks like koi embroidery out for a walk than the Narita Airport in the late night.

Anyway, no one will report the police here. And clueless foreigners are just like those Japanese tourists with glasses and a camera hanging around their necks, not rare in the slightest.

In other words, isnt that super rare!?

Even the comedy couples from Yoshimoto Kogyo[3] dont wear such extravagant kimonos anymore.

Shibuya Shouri pushes his glasses up his nose, telling everyone they meet,

Not me! Im not this womans partner!

But in the midnight airport after a typhoon, no one bothers with him at all. That sense of emptiness leaves him feeling horrible.

As for the clueless lady whos putting on a show of walking beside him, whenever she brushes against any pedestrian, she will fold her palms together and bow.

Are you a spy sent here by the Shaolin Temple?

Whatare you saying--? The Japanese are all very polite. The way of GAY[4] is the way of the geisha, which is to begin with a bow and end with a bow, right?

Shouri, with the future of Tokyo on his shoulders, looks skywards and heaves a sigh. Why do they spread such misconceptions about Japan? Quentin Tarantino has to bear responsibility for this!

Wait a sec, Graves, dont talk to strangers with that weird Japanese of yours! Itll only make them more troubled.

OHJapanese people shouldnt be so cold. And Shouri, dont call me Graves, please call me Abby, Abby. NO NO NO NO NO, LOOK ME, LOOK MY MOUSE. A-bby, please say A-bby.

This isnt the Wicky[5] era anymore!

The American sitting in the VIP lounge, Abigail Graves in her unique kimono, has stuck with him like glue ever since she found out Shouri is Bobs friend. Shouri tried to contact Bob with his phone, but its as though Bob was sealed in a heavy lead box, because theres no response at all. Just when hes thinking that all he can do now is lead her near a taxi, forcefully send her to Narita Airport, and was planning on walking straight to the exit

Abigail continuously holds back the people passing by, and then keeps on greeting them in her imperfect Japanese. Hearing her Japanese mixed with 10% vulgar content, Shouri finally loses it and yells,

Speak in English! This is really embarrassing!

As a result Abigail suddenly says in a teaching material tone,

I dont wanna, your English is like the Teletubbies.

The Teletubbies cant talk, and compared to your half-assed Japanese thats much Whoa!

Bob is finally replying, and Shouri picks up his phone enthusiastically.

Bob, whats going on here? Why is your guest here? If this wasnt an astronomical coincidence, causing me to bump into her, this koi might have waited for you in the airport lounge until she turned to stone!

Youre exaggerating, JUNIOR.

Shouri tsks in dissatisfaction, indicating to Bob not to call him that.

Im waiting for Rodriguez, but hes not here yet.

I dont care if youre waiting for Rodriguez or Madriros, Im telling you to talk to her!

Abigail Graves widens her eyes and stares at him for a while, then accept the phone Shouri hands her. And then her voice suddenly goes higher

OHBapu!

Not Bapu, why is it Bapu!

Standing beside someone speaking their mother tongue at four times the seed, the elite student who successfully passed the English proficiency test is dying. Maybe its because her speaking speed is naturally especially fast, so he can only understand a few nouns he recognizes. Shes not arguing it out with Bob, but instead she chats for several minutes in an intimate tone. Before returning the phone to Shouri, she even laughs out loudly at something Bob said.

You and the driver, whos coming to pick her up?

Thats impossible, Shibuya.

Bobs next suggestion is far beyond his imagination.

You want meto be her host!?

Shouri repeats in a tone of disbelief, You want meto host this woman? His brows even droop into a figure eight ().

Thats right, Shouri. Abby is my guest, but you know, because of your little brothers emergency situation, I forgot that she arrives in Japan today. So sorry, but before Ken goes to where you are, can you please help me host her? Isnt receiving visitors the basic ability of the Japanese working class?

Stop joking, Bob! Its against electoral law for the governor to host or be hosted by anybody! And even if thats not the case, I dont want to have anything to do with a fake geisha whos like a B-grade movie actress! Besides, if I take her around, whatll happen if anyone mistakes us for lovers!? The hell Im doing this! And even more besides, how old is this fella? For all I know shes just a high school student[6]! Even if its not so bad, shes still a HIGH SCHOOL STUDENT, right? I dont want to break Tokyo laws!

Arent you a citizen of the Saitama prefecture?

The Maou of the financial world calmly corrects the older Shibuya brother, whos screaming until his voice is hoarse.

N-no matter what it wont work, I still want to go the Niagara Falls in a moment. And I dont have the money to deal with an heiress who can go around the world while still a high school student Ah!

The call was cut, and no matter how he dialed it wouldnt go through. The image of a man in sunglasses cackling on the other end of the phone immediately floats into his mind. He must feel like hes managed to get a hot iron off his hands.

Hey, Graves, let me just make this clear to you!

Having no choice but to keep his phone into his pocket, Shibuya Shouri once again turns around to face Abigail. Although from her point of view this trip has been unfortunate from the start, but right now all he can do is ask her to tour Tokyo on her own.

I dont have the sweet time to bring you around, because my brothers matter is more important. After you go back to your country, you can bring your boyfriend to TDL (Tokyo Disney Land), USJ (Universal Studios Japan), or Edo Wonderland. Remember to take a picture with Nyanmage, okay? Americans who always put their family first would agree, right?

NONO, there arent Nyanmages in Boston. What happened to your brother, by the way?

That has nothing to do with you, but due to certain reasons I have to get to Niagara and make it flow backwards. As for you, just find a hotel nearby for the night! As long as you bring out Bobs name you should be able to book a room.

The phone in his front pocket, suddenly starts vibrating, and the blue light on it flickers non-stopTheres a mail from the service providers inbox coming this way.

Subject: Seen the BBS

Abigail looks at the plasma screen, reading out the words on it loudly,

See, BBS Bong! Ow, that hurt!

Dont just read the words you know!

Ive seen your message, Niagara doesnt seem too possible But why would you want to make it flow backwards? Are you planning some ultimate magic to do with water? Seems like Paint-and-Build Sex Toys interests are pretty vast, huhBut right now Im not talking about the waterfall, Im talking about the UMA (Unidentified Mysterious Animal) thats been sighted a lot recently in the Swiss Bodensee[7], that may be an omen that the Alps are going to erupt. (Because the Alps arent volcanoes, lol) I wonder, can this count as a type of miscellaneous study?

Hey, hey! Im looking for an impact as big as a nuclear explosion, not some Bossy[8] or MBoma[9]!

But the one watching his every move isnt the media, its Abigail.

Theres something weird with Bodensee? Crap, since you mentioned Bodensee, I cant stay out of this any longer. I have to report this to Mummy! But why would the Japanese find out about Bodensee so quickly?

You just keep saying Boden, Boden, were you sent here by the ice-cream company[10]? Whats the matter, Graves, dont tell me you got a mansion there too?

Nah, Mummy said something super scary is sleeping in that lake. Right, and of course I dont mean a hibernating giraffe.

Once the topic gets serious, she switches to her mother tongue, but only at twice the speed, so its easier to understand.

I dont know if its real or not, but I heard that if the seal is broken, it will cause serious damage to the world, so it seems to be a super scary thing. Old pal, thats all I know.

Abigail beckons to Shouri, bringing her lips to his ear,

In World War II, the Nazis once coveted that power too! I heard that back then, to prevent it from falling into those guys hands, my great grandmother sank it to the bottom of Bodensee.

What kind of a person was your great grandmother?

Oh, dear!

Abigail Graves ignores the fact that shes wearing a kimono, opening her legs wide, bending one knee slightly, raising her right hand into the sky, while her empty left hand is put on her waist. Suddenly its a nostalgic, perfect Travolta pose.

We Graves are generations of treasure hunters, you know!

But Shouris head is full of even the Nazis coveted that power, not caring at all about what treasure hunters. Compared to making the worlds number one waterfall flow backwards, wouldnt that power be more likely to fulfill his wish?

Switzerland, huh Then he must immediately cancel the waiting list seat, and change it to Europe. Wait a second, what is the common language in Switzerland? Can he communicate even without using English? And their currency isnt a Mark or a Franc, but a Euro, huh? One Euro equals to how many Japanese yen, he doesnt know But Shouri does know that one Yuuri equals to one younger brother[11].

Abigail continues talking to Shouri, whose head is already full of the European plan,

PS. Im a cheerleader and a treasure hunter!

PPS. Paint-and-Build Sex Toy is Shouris usernameBut he doesnt want his own brother to know that.