VOLUME 3

Epilogue: Part 3

Twenty minutes later, the person on the other line of the call arrived.

“h.e.l.lo. Yuu-chan, it’s been a while~~. You’re looking cute as always. Let me pat your head a bit…“

The spiky-haired boy, who had wedged himself in between me and Yuu, started to make a pa.s.s at her.

I grabbed onto a corner of Orito’s hair with the intention of pulling it out.

“If you touch her then I’ll make you into a zombie. So, did you bring what I asked for?”

“I brought it!”

Orito reached into a bulging paper bag and took out a paired maid uniform and headband.

Indeed. Back in cooking cla.s.s, that guy told me that he had gotten a maid uniform.

If we had to play a penalty game, then we really should make use of that.

“I just thought of something.” Sera had an almost Zen-like expression as she raised her hand.

“What is it?”

“Didn’t Ayumu also act selfishly?”

“If you want to go there, then isn’t Sera guilty too?”

“Well then, you all have to do a penalty game too.”

“Hey, wait a second. Haruna, you’re always acting selfish too, aren’t you?”

“Huh? No, I’ve been good!”

“You haven’t been good at all!”

“I thought something like this might happen, so I brought enough for everyone.”

So the paper bag bulged because he had put four maid outfits in there…

“Why the h.e.l.l do you have one for me too?”

My mouth twitched in annoyance as Orito handed me a maid outfit.

“O-oh, also, Yuu. Sera’s actually really good at the violin. Sera, could you bring it down here?”

“Understood. I’ll grab it while I’m changing.”

I’m excited.

Yuu clapped. c.r.a.p. At the rate things were going, I might have to wear a maid outfit again. All right then… In that case, I’d unleash my sealed guitar powers!

“Yuu, wait just a bit!”

I went down to my dad’s study on the first floor and picked up my dad’s dust-covered folk guitar.

How nostalgic. Back in the day, I had desperately practiced the guitar so I would be popular with the ladies. All right, it was time for me to put that forbidden part of my history on display!

I went back to the living room and I excitedly strummed the guitar strings.

“Well then, listen to this slow number!”

Haruna watched me in blank amazement. Yuu seemed slightly interested.

“One~~~. Twoooo~~. Threeeee~~. Fourrrrrr~~.”

They listened to my slow numbers. Gyahahaha! How’s that?!

Huh~~? Even Orito was shaking his head with compa.s.sion and mouthing, “No, this is terrible” as I sang.

“Seventeeeen~~. Eighteeeen~~.”

Why?

“Thirty-siiiix~~. Thirty-seveeeen~~.”

Why wasn’t anyone trying to stop me?

“All right, well, I’m going to go change. Ayumu, you hurry up and change too.”

All right… I’ll change.

Umm… Well, kinda like that, we all changed into maid outfits and began a strange concert. It made me think back to Tanabata. Back then, everyone had a ponytail.

Orito took a ton of photos and then he went home. I’d return the maid outfits some later day.

Orito had gotten these outfits for Yuu and Sera in the first place, so he happily lent them to us. We cleaned up the table, turned off the television, and readied our instruments.

“So, what should we play?”

Sera was wearing a maid outfit that highlighted her bulging b.r.e.a.s.t.s all too well, and she set her violin on her shoulder.

I couldn’t help but smile at the sight of a maid with a violin. I sat down and began to tune my guitar.

“Naturally, we have to play Eine Kleine Nachtmusik!”

Haruna had a maid outfit on that was close to a Gothic Lolita costume, and she struck a daunting pose with her keyboard harmonica.

“Don’t be ridiculous. How do you expect me to play that with a folk guitar?”

Yuu was standing up straight next to me. Out of her usual outfit, only her gauntlets remained, but, strangely… it felt like nothing had changed at all.

“The gloomy necromancer is using castanets?”

Yuu, who had castanets in both her hands, nodded.

“Well, how about my original, ‘Polyester of the Yayoi Period’?” (1)

“Do you really think I would be able to play an original by you… And now the song’s gone past the Jomon period?!”

“All right, how about Nakamura Mondo’s theme?” (2)

“I have no idea… You really like your period dramas, don’t you?”

What kind of song is Haruna’s original piece?

“It goes something like this.”

Haruna began to play her keyboard harmonica.

Oh? That sounded pretty nice.

It was a jazzy melody that just soothed the soul.

“Quite nice. Well then, how about we use that as a base and just add in what we want?”

“I see. That sounds fun.”

All right, then I’d add a little folk rocky feel. Just thinking about it got me excited.

All right. Here I go.

Yuu’s castanets added a dramatic quality to the music. And when Sera’s violin joined in, the song became quite pleasant. And then there was Haruna’s keyboard harmonica.

I smiled as I joined the beautiful harmony that these three geniuses had started, but I couldn’t get it to sound as folk rocky as I wanted.

All right, then.

“Kontree rhoooo~~~ Taik me hoooo~~” (3)

“Wait wait wait wait! Stop, stop! Ayumu, your singing is disgusting!”

“What did you say?!”

“No, his singing isn’t disgusting. Ayumu himself is disgusting.”

I can at least appreciate that his singing is not in j.a.panese.

We regrouped and started again. Yuu made the rhythm, and Sera formed the base of the music. Then Haruna’s keyboard harmonica chimed in too.

“Ai berooonnn~~! Weh, Vajinnyaaaa-“

“I told you not to sing!”

“Let’s just play without Ayumu.”

But his singing is more or less fine.

I had no other choice, so I just hummed my song inside my head and we all played our instruments together.

I wonder why we were so in tune with each other, even though this was the first time we had played together?

I’m sorry.

Once we had finished playing one entire song, Yuu showed me a memo.

“Hm? Why?”

That was really fun.

Her gauntleted hand reached out. Hmm? Something behind me?

When I turned around, I saw, standing behind me… an old man with an impressive beard. He was an overly-muscular old man clad in a black suit and a hat. He carried a walking stick.

W-who the h.e.l.l was that?! Why did he come in without knocking?!

“Genkunrou-sama!”

Sera hurriedly materialized her black cloak, and as soon as she had slipped it over her maid outfit, she fell to one knee.

If that old man with a tremendous sense of presence was a vampire ninja, then it wasn’t surprising that he managed to sneak into my house without permission.

“Did you… come to punish me?”

The man turned his eyes to look at Sera and his mouth moved under his huge beard. Even with a glance, you could tell this man had a sense of dignity about him.

“Quite the opposite. Saras-chan asked me to come.”

That man was absurdly direct!

“Saras?”

“Yes. She told me to forgive Seraphim-chan, and so I… came here.”

The man, who was still holding onto his walking stick, made a peace sign with his wrinkled hand. Haruna went over and began to pull on his soft-looking beard.

“Haruna! What do you think you’re doing?!”

Sera pulled her off right away and prostrated herself.

“Is this guy important?”

“Ugh. Ayumu should also stop being so rude. Just looking at you disgusts me.”

“Kakaka. I don’t mind. Anyways, Seraphim’s crime has been cleared.”

That’s great. I see, so Saras wanted to pay Sera back? Thanks to her, Sera’s life was now no longer in danger. Great, gre-

“Hey, hey, at times like this, shouldn’t you put her through some tough test or something?”

Hey, Haruna, what the h.e.l.l are you saying?

“Hm, that’s true. I also thought that something was missing…”

Seriously…? Don’t tell me…

“Well then, Seraphim will be subjected to a test. Yes… I’ll give her a test.”

Ugh, we’d finally settled everything… And then, because of Haruna, things had taken a turn down a bad road.

“I understand. I will humbly accept your test.”

Sera put her forehead to the floor. Come on, you fight this a bit too. Geez… how did things suddenly start to go this way…?

“But, you know… I just thought of a great test for her!”

Haruna spoke even as she was having fun braiding Genkunrou-sama’s beard.

“You know Dai-sensei’s magical bombs? There are still some left.”

“There are still some left? So… you want her to find the last one…”

“Nope, not one. Four.”

“Four?! There are still four left?!”

“And you want me to find those?”

“Well, certainly, Sera can take care of them if she uses her Dragon Fang Thunder G.o.d Thrust technique.”

I accidentally said the name that I had come up with, and that was embarra.s.sing enough to make me cover my face with my hands.

“Don’t worry! Ayumu’s the one who’s gonna do it!”

Me?! Since when was I the one who needed to be given a test?!

“Bombs! That’s not good. That’s not peaceful at all. Well, perhaps I’ll also ask you to do something while you’re at it.”

Hahahaha.

Kakakaka.

Haruna and Genkunrou both burst into laughter.

And like that… a new sea of troubles washed over us.

END CHAPTER 4

END VOLUME 4

TRANSLATOR’S NOTES

(1) In an earlier chapter, Haruna claimed to have written a piece ent.i.tled “Polyester of the Jomon Period.” The Yayoi period is another period in premodern j.a.panese history, and occurred after the Jomon period.

(2) A character from a period drama, the Hissatsu series.

(3) In case you were wondering, yes. He’s trying to sing Take Me Home, Country Roads.