VOLUME 5

Chapter 4 – Ehh? Really? Alright, Old Man! Alright, Another Gla.s.s of Shouchuu! (1)

Chapter 4: Part 1

When I arrived back at the mixer, I desperately looked around for Haruna, not even giving myself an opportunity to catch my breath.

I saw Haruna near the billiards tables on a sofa, still together with the owl. Next to her I also found Dai-sensei, who was now collapsed unceremoniously onto the sofa and sleeping away. It was pretty obvious she had been put to sleep deliberately, considering how disheveled all her clothes were. G.o.d dammit, that Kyouko…

“Haruna. Did Yuu come back yet?”

Haruna shook her head. Did Kyouko seriously run away and take Yuu as a hostage? Where could she have gone? I tried to think of places where you could hide in this world, but…

“Ah, Ayumu-san~~.”

“Dai-sensei… you’re awake? Do you know where Kyouko is right now?”

“… Eh? Ah, umm… should be fine~~. Doesn’t seem like she’s gone far at all~~.”

“You know where she is?”

“Yup yuuup~~. Once you put on that bracelet, there’s no such thing as privacy anymore~~.”

“That’s great. Let’s chase after them! Haruna, you stay here.”

“But… I…”

Haruna held the owl to her chest, looking concerned.

“Don’t worry. Leave it to me.”

“D-Don’t give me orders! I’m gonna look for the gloomy necromancer too!”

Haruna seemed to want to go save Yuu too. These were probably feelings that hadn’t shown up until the night of the school festival. Actually, they might’ve existed before, but that festival had made them much stronger.

“Ayumu-san, you want to ‘chase’ her…?”

“Yeah, just tell me where Kyouko is right now!”

“Well, I guess I caaan, but…~”

Dai-sensei didn’t seem all that hurried. This was a serious matter, so it was strange seeing her still being so carefree about it. I’d really prefer it if she showed a bit more urgency.

The place Dai-sensei led me to was… the bathroom.

“Okaaay~. Go ahead and chase her all you want~~.”

Dai-sensei laughed heartily. It seemed that all the soda hadn’t left her system yet.

“Ehh… sorry then.” That b.a.s.t.a.r.d Haruna… they had just gone to the bathroom, hadn’t they?

“Ayumu-san~~, you would’ve been a pretty good person if you weren’t such a huge pervert~~.”

“Dai-sensei, you may say that, but you’re the one who tried to kiss me back there.”

Hm? Why did she suddenly stiffen?

“Did I… do it?”

“Eh? No… we haven’t yet.”

“Did you want me to~~?”

“Well, that’s… no, if I wanted to I would’ve already done it, geez. Although, I’ve already flipped up your skirt and seen you naked, so…”

“… Naked?”

c.r.a.p. That slipped out. I had once seen Dai-sensei’s nude body using those pervy gla.s.ses that could see through anything, but I don’t think Dai-sensei knew about that.

“Your evil, dirty ways know no bounds…”

“Please cut me some slack. I don’t want to go to that dark place again. Here, look. I’ll seriously do anything.”

I clasped my hands together, as if I was praying, and gave Dai-sensei a nice smile.

Ah… she was a G.o.ddess. A twin-tailed G.o.ddess.

“Hmm… okaay~~. Then I want you to kowtow here, and then do a handstand. And then turn that handstand into a backbend, and with all four limbs stretched as faaaar as they can go I want you to yell ‘Dakisugakokkubo!’” (2)

She was actually a demon! A twin-tailed demon!

Well… but, I did once see her naked.

First, I took to my knees and clasped both my hands in front of me, sinking my head deep to the ground. After that, I went into a handstand and tumbled over, falling into a backbend.

“Dakisugakokkubo!!”

My limbs were stretched taut like I was an angry cat, and my body was also completely bent back.

“So, now you’ll forgive me?”

“I never said I’d forgive you~~. I just wanted to see that.”

… She was the devil. I’ll have to be careful to never ever s.e.xually hara.s.s her ever again.

I was still in my backbend position and wondering what to do from this point, when Haruna came back.

“… Having fun?”

Gah! What destructive power! Those cold eyes of Haruna just felt way more menacing today than usual.

As I looked away, Haruna brought her face close to mine.

“Hey… are you, having fun?”

“No… not really…”

“I was worried that Ayumu wouldn’t be able to handle things alone, but what are you doing in front of the girl’s toilet? You d.a.m.n pervert! Perverted chocolate! If this were a few hundred years ago they’d burn you for being a witch!”

… Even though I’m a guy?

“A-Anyways! Haruna, they just went to the bathroom. You didn’t have to get me all panicked…”

“Hueh? But it’s already been a really long time! There’s a limit to how long you can go to the bathroom for!”

Certainly, Haruna had a point. But, it’s not like I could just go inside to check.

“Just wait here for a second!”

“Don’t move, ‘kaay~~? Definitely not out of that position.”

The two girls went into the bathroom. A little bit of time pa.s.sed, and then…

“Ayumu!”

Haruna came back, her face pale.

Dai-sensei followed her out, looking as smiley and carefree as always. But…

“Well, looks like we were completely done in~~.”

She was grasping onto Kyouko’s bare bracelet in her hand.

I felt myself sweat even more.

Still in that d.a.m.n backbend position.

Anyways, I stood back up, and tried to think about what to do.

“Fiiiiirst, we have to punish Ayumu-san again~~.”

We didn’t have time for that! She as probably too drunk to make rational decisions at this point, right? We had to go chasing after Kyouko and Yuu, but she just wanted to take me back into that strange place.

“Fumyahhh~~.” Dai-sensei suddenly collapsed.

I reached out and grabbed her body. Her forehead was warm. She was… still drunk, wasn’t she?

… Well, I should probably be thanking G.o.d right now.

“… Are you alright?”

But she didn’t answer. She was completely asleep. Looks like we couldn’t take Dai-sensei with us. Well, if it was just Kyouko, then Haruna and I should be able to handle it. We had beaten her once before, after all.

But, Dai-sensei seriously looked really young and cute when she was like this. When she was just sleeping, she seemed more like a middle schooler. Even if she was really a monster or a demon or whatever underneath.

I carried her back to the sofa next to the billiards table, which was quickly turning into Dai-sensei’s makes.h.i.+ft bed, and lay her down on her side.

I saw Orito nearby, and beckoned him over.

“Hey, Orito. Look after Rie-chan for a bit.”

“Sure. Is she okay?”

“Yeah. She just needs a bit of rest, I think. I need to go look for Yuu.”

“Hm? Yeah, doesn’t look like she’s around anymore…”

Everyone looked all around the bar for Yuu.

“Yeah, you’re right. Kyouko isn’t here either.”

A sense of worry started spreading around the room, but I waved my hands and lightly chuckled, trying to dispel any anxiety.

“Ah, it’s fine, don’t worry about it. They probably just went for a walk. They’re still not too familiar with the roads around here, so I’m going to go looking for them with Haruna.”

“Shouldn’t we all pitch in and look for them together?”

Mihara mumbled that with a concerned look on her face. Certainly, that would be more efficient… but it was dangerous.

“It’s fine. I’ll be back soon.”

“Well, let me go with you then. I wanted a bit of fresh air anyways.”

Anderson-kun stood up while saying that, and then came over. He leaned in and whispered in my ear.

“If we’re going to look for Eucliwood, then I’ll help.”

He said that in a sweet-sounding voice.

I should be able to trust Anderson-kun with the details. And he was from the Underworld, so maybe he was a strong fighter. The more able fighters we had, the better.

I put my arm around Anderson-kun’s shoulder and led him to a place away from everyone else.

“So, truth is, do you remember those serial killings around half a year ago?”

“Ah, yeah, those unsolved murders…”

“Kyouko… that masou shoujo… she was the culprit.”

“Eh? That girl? … I see.”

Anderson-kun’s eyes widened in surprise, but after that he put his left hand softly on my side, and then punched me as hard as he could with his other hand. Judging from the fact that he had held my body with one hand so I couldn’t escape from the shock of his punch, he must be pretty used to fights…

“Anderson-kun! What the h.e.l.l are you doing?!”

Orito had seen his punch, so he came over to hold Anderson-kun back, but I stopped him.

“It’s fine. I’m okay… right, Anderson-kun?”

“Yeah, sorry for making everyone worry.”

Anderson-kun sent everyone a smile.

“What happened, Aikawa? Did you try to make a pa.s.s at Anderson-kun’s favorite girl or something?”

“Shut up. Go away.”

Orito was trying to lighten the strange mood in the air, but I forcibly chased him away. Then, after I was sure it was just me and Anderson-kun again…

“I won’t ask you why you brought such a dangerous person here. Instead, I punched you. Well, you probably have your reasons… but, Aikawa. If something happens because of that girl… I’ll never forgive you.”

The always-smiling Anderson-kun now looked gravely serious.

Ahh, all this just reaffirmed for me how much Anderson-kun loved this world.

“Sorry. I take responsibility for everything. I need a bit more firepower to beat Kyouko… so how well can you fight?”

Anderson-kun’s expression returned to its usual gentle state.

“You know the ranking system the masou shoujo use for Megalo?”

“Yeah, I do.”

“I’d be around a D.”

Umm… D-cla.s.s?

“Haruna, how strong are D-cla.s.s Megalo?”

“They’re the weakest. Masou shoujo like us could kill them barehanded.”

That weak? So he was basically a little stronger than a normal human.

“Sorry for disappointing you. But if people from the Underworld were as strong as A-cla.s.s Megalo, we wouldn’t need to make them in the first place. But hey, people do tell me that my basketball skills are way too good for a high schooler.”

What he said made sense. The people from the Underworld really couldn’t do much about the masou shoujo. So they invented the Megalo as a countermeasure, and left all the fighting up to the Megalo.

“Do you have any special abilities? Like, Yuu isn’t very strong but she has a pretty amazing power.”

“I can measure time and s.p.a.ce very precisely. For example, I make sure my cup ramen sits for exactly two minutes, fifty-eight point three seven six one seconds before I lift the cover. Sorry for having such a useless skill.”

Stop looking so apologetic… it’s not like you should feel responsible for anything.

“I’m sure you’ll become a great basketball player.”

Anderson-kun’s powers were geared towards observation. So, that’s probably why they asked him to keep a watch on things in this world.

But his skills didn’t seem very useful in battle. I couldn’t really bring myself to say that to him though, but Anderson-kun then gripped my shoulders and spun me around.

And then…

“Get going, you. You’re the only one who can take responsibility for this.”

He gave me a firm push.

TRANSLATOR’S NOTES

(1) A type of j.a.panese liquor, often made by distilling sweet potatoes.

(2) Read backwards, this becomes “Bokukko ga daisuki!” A bokukko is a girl who uses the masculine first person p.r.o.noun “boku,” and the sentence means “I love bokukko!”