VOLUME 5

Chapter 1: Part 6

The whirlwind of toast wars finally ended, and I let out a sigh. I had somehow survived, and now I nervously looked around me.

Tomonori had a bottle of dressing in one hand and was hunting for food.

Sera was checking the list of new songs in the karaoke machine by herself.

Saras was headed for a large throng of vampire ninjas. I hesitated, considering following her, but soon I realized that I had already let the appropriate timing for that slip away.

Also, where was the demon baron? Both Saras and Tomonori seemed to be in the thick of things but Sera was alone, so I decided to head for her.

“Oh, I fit isn’t Ayumu. You’re as disgusting as always.”

Sera looked just a bit lonely.

There were two middle-aged looking men close by, but…

“There’s a really good new oden restaurant that opened in Tokyo Tower, you know.”

“Ah, that famous one that uses that different kind of das.h.i.+…” (1)

“They have this deep fried tofu, you see… and it’s soooooo good…”

They were still going on and on about oden, so it was probably hard for Sera to join in on the conversation. But, actually, this was a good opportunity. I sat myself down next to Sera, happy to have someone to talk to. I leaned forwards a bit, wanting to check the new song list with Sera.

“Ayumu.”

“What is it?”

“This is s.e.xual hara.s.sment.”

“What is where is what…?”

She was being so unfair that I couldn’t even talk straight anymore.

“Could you not distance yourself a bit from me? You’re disgusting.”

Was it seriously s.e.xual hara.s.sment to just be near her? Ugh. I heeded her wishes and leaned away from her.

“Where did the chief go?”

“Chief? He’s probably in the bathroom.”

“I see…”

I sat back and waited for the chief, while a vampire ninja next to Sera who I had never seen before sang a song.

But he never showed up.

I waited for five minutes… this was starting to get uncomfortable. Sera didn’t seem to want to keep me company at all, so staying here was getting harder and harder. It was tough being the away team… if only Tomonori would come over, I might be able to find an oasis in this psychological desert… but it was hopeless. She was too far away.

I see. All the conservative faction vampire ninjas were probably over here, and all the reform faction vampire ninjas were probably over there.

I mustered up my courage and headed for Saras, who was in the most crowded part of the room.

Saras had gotten cola splashed on her earlier, so she had changed into the punk rock outfit she was carrying in her bag. Her boots and hot pants were all gleaming, and only one strip of cloth covered her softly bulging chest. She probably wasn’t even wearing a bra. And I mean, after all, her waist was so slender and nice-looking that she could get away with showing her belly b.u.t.ton.

As expected from the net idol, Lovely Kirara-tan.

I began to call out to her, but before I could…

“Oh, hey Saras-chan. Have you eaten yet?”

An old man with quite a stunning beard appeared. Saras let out a sigh.

“Geez… I already ate yesterday, you old fool.”

Someone feed this woman three meals a day, dammit! Also, why was she taking a critical tone like that with this senile old man?

“Ohh, I see. How thoughtless of me.”

The old man was getting tricked!

That old man was also really built and muscular despite his age, and I could swear the b.u.t.tons on the snug suit he was wearing were about to fly off.

I think this was Sera and Saras’s boss, and his name was Genkunrou.

Once again, the right timing had slipped away… it would be awkward for me to join in now, so I left. Maybe I should take a trip to the bathroom?

All the rooms looked the same in this karaoke place, so it was easy to get lost.

I entered the well-maintained bathroom, and saw that there was one private stall and a place to wash your hands.

“Ooo, I really need to go…”

I was truly just an average high school guy as I rushed full-speed for the bathroom. Well… I guess not a hundred percent, since I was also a zombie.

The stall didn’t seem in use, but I knocked anyways just in case before opening the door. But when I did, I saw a man with an unkempt beard sitting on the toilet with the lid down, looking like he had just come out of a life-or-death battle with José Mendoza. (2)

Ohoh, my handsome baron, so this is where you were.

“What a waste to spend the party here.”

“You saw it, right? That big toast war. I really can’t keep up with that. The gulf between the vampire ninjas goes much deeper than I had imagined…”

Stop getting so depressed just because you had to drink a cup of hot oolong tea fast. Are you seriously that sick or something?

“Not feeling too well then? You wanna head home early?”

“I can’t. But… what should I do…?”

“Hm. What if I told Sera to stick with you and keep an eye out?”

I suddenly remembered that Sera was all by herself. If she could move around with the demon baron, then she could probably talk with the other vampire ninjas.

“Sera?”

“Hm? Seraphim. She’s one of the conservative faction ninjas, and she’s living in my house right now-“

“Hm? Ah, okay okay. That girl with a ponytail, right? She has a nice body…” Cough cough!

The demon baron turned around and spat out a large amount of blood onto the toilet.

“Ugh! My doctor ordered me to stop thinking dirty thoughts…”

“You… I’m pretty impressed you’ve managed to keep all this a secret.”

“So, why did you bring up that Sera girl?”

“Ahh, she’s the same type of girl as Saras, but she’s a good girl and is really attentive in whatever she does.”

“I see. Okay, I’ll leave it to her then.”

“You agreed to that pretty easily.”

“That’s how much I trust you. No, rather, there isn’t anybody else I can rely on here. At this point, I’d be willing to rely on a meowing fuzzball.”

You could’ve just said cat, dammit… Geez, this guy was annoying. Ugh, don’t wink at me. That’s gross.

“But while we’re talking about Sera… I do have one request.”

“Make sure it’s only one, ‘kay?”

G.o.d, so annoying. I continued talking, all the while holding back the desire to take a pair of tweezers to his ugly beard.

“I want you to give her a mission. I don’t care what… but just something so that she can continue living with us.”

Sera’s mission was to ask Yuu to turn the demon baron into a zombie. However, because the demon baron was alive, that mission was now over. So… she had no reason to stay at my house anymore.

And that… that was…

“Well, that’s no problem at all. I mean…”

“What is it? Why are you making a face like that?”

“It’s nothing, it’s nothing. I was just so sure you and Eucliwood were together… well, I guess with that body… cough, cough! Ugh, just remembering it made me cough blood…”

“Nah, that’s not true. This is for Yuu’s sake too, but right now Sera’s been doing all the cohres around the house. If she’s not cleaning, Haruna would just mess up the entire house. And I really don’t want to have to keep was.h.i.+ng Haruna and Yuu’s underwear.”

“I got it. I got it, Aikawa Ayumu-kun. It’s quite fun watching you get so desperate. I know now why Ariel has taken such a liking to you.”

“Shut up…”

I could feel myself blus.h.i.+ng, so I turned away from the demon baron. These d.a.m.n people, all mocking me…

Oh, wait… my cell phone was vibrating. A text? Ah, it was from Orito. Looks like the mixer was about to start.

“Well, I’ll leave the rest to you then. I have to go somewhere else. As for Saras… uhh… just tell her I went to the bathroom or something.”

“Got it. I’ll entrust everything to that Sera girl. But, are you sure? You might be able to get information on Chris’s whereabouts here.”

“… I think I can learn about Chris’s weak points where I’m going. Also… I really can’t stand this atmosphere.”

“You’re pretty delicate for a zombie, aren’t you?”

Whatever. Just say whatever you want.

I turned my back and walked away, waving my hand farewell in the air.

Sorry, Saras… for ditching out even though you invited me.

END CHAPTER 1

TRANSLATOR’S NOTES

(1) j.a.panese fish broth, basically. A base for a large number of j.a.panese recipes.

(2) Character from As.h.i.+ta no Joe.