The last time we were together, it was different. It was like raging emotions, dark, sad and daring. That lovemaking was like finally giving in after fighting for so long, and then savoring the stolen moments of heaven regardless of the consequences that we will face in the morning.
This lovemaking... felt just as passionate, but without confusion and sadness... and without any trace of doubt. This felt right... like every step we took in our entire lives has led us to this... has lead us back to each other.
I screamed his name when I reached my peak and at the same time I felt his body rock within me. My eyes were wet with tears, as the emotions threaten to overwhelm me. When I looked at Ryder, I saw that his eyes were teary too. He leaned forward and kissed me.
"I love you, Astrid." He said solemnly. "And I never want to forget that again."
"Thank you, Ryder." I said in between our kisses. "Thank you for finding your way back to me."
We lied in bed for a while, locked in each other's embrace, feeling each other's warmth, savoring the feeling of being together again. Both of us are afraid to let go, because this could all just be a dream that we do not want to wake up from.
Then finally, I propped up on my elbow and asked, "Are you hungry?"
"Yes." He replied. I can hear laughter in his voice.
I sat up and started gathering my clothes. "I'll cook." I said.
But he pulled me back to bed. "You can't." He said.
"Why?"
"Because the fridge is practically empty." I raised my brow at him. He chuckled. "You left a few weeks ago. It's your duty to restock our fridge, love."
Our fridge?
"Your fridge, Ryder." I corrected him.
He shook his head. "Didn't you hear me say to Adam that you're staying here for good?"
My eyes widened. "I was only half-listening then. I was more afraid of the warning looks you two have been exchanging."
"He was giving me the warning looks. I was just merely accepting them."
I stared at him. "So you told Adam I'm staying here for good, but we haven't discussed this."
He pulled me by the neck and kissed my lips gently. "Okay, so let's discuss this. We're only picking up where we left off five months ago." He replied. "This was my plan then, Ash. To ask you to move in with me here. No wonder I was so pissed when I found out you were staying with John." He cringed at the memory. "I'm sorry I got delayed a couple of months, but Astrid... it would really make me happy if you agree to live here with me."
I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I can't believe that he was actually asking me to move in with him... to start making a life together...
"I want to call my landline, and know that you will be picking it up. I want to come home here, knowing that it's you who will be greeting me at the door. I want to open my fridge and know that you've done our groceries... that you're taking care of me, as much as I am taking care of you."
My heart swelled at his words. When I woke up this morning, I never thought this day was going to end like this. That Ryder would come home to me and will try to make everything right. That he will try to undo what he did when he has no memories of me.
He reached up and wiped my tears with his thumb. "Is that a yes?" He asked.
I giggled and I leaned forward and kissed his lips. I sighed contentedly. "Yes."
"Thank you!" He said in happy voice. Then he gently pushed me towards the bed and in a minute, he was on top of me again, pinning me between the mattress and his body. He has a mischievous look on this face. "Now... Manhattan..." He started saying.
"Ryder!" I laughed. But my laughter died when his lips descended towards mine.
Chapter Thirty-Seven.
RING:.
A ring is round because it represents eternity... like a love that will last forever. It is a symbol of never-ending commitment. It is usually worn on the fourth finger, as "myth" states that this finger contains the "vena amoris" or the "vein of love", which is connected to the heart.
We were sitting on the deck, Ryder was strumming his guitar, serenading me with his smooth, soulful voice.
I couldn't help but be drawn to him and the world he is bringing me to when he sings. If I wasn't in love with him already, hearing him sing to me will probably do the job.
"How come you sing so well?" I asked him.
"Genes, I guess." He smiled.
"Did you always know how to play the guitar?"
He nodded. "Ever since I was a kid. I play the piano too."
"So why didn't you make a career as a musician?" I teased.
"Well, it's not too late, right? If the band in one of my bars walk out, I can always fill in." He grinned.
I laughed. "You're right. But I don't think I would like that." I said.
"Why not?"
"Girls always fall for the frontman, especially if he's hot!" I leaned forward and planted a soft kiss against his lips. "I'm very jealous and possessive." I kissed him again.
I can feel Ryder's smile against my lips. "Hmmm... if you're possessive, then does that mean you want to be with your man all the time?"
I felt him shift and put his guitar aside. Then he pulled me to him and deepened the kiss.
"Yes." I replied. "I want to be with you all the time." I moaned when he nuzzled my neck.
"Hmmm... then you should really consider branching out in Manhattan." He whispered against my skin.
I giggled.
"You're not going to stop, are you?" I asked.
"Nope." He replied. "I'll get you to say yes... eventually."
"You realize that might take a long time, right?" I pulled away from him so I could look into his eyes.
He smiled at me wistfully. "I guess. But I won't give up." He said. "Astrid, I live in Malibu too. But I live in Manhattan more. And when I take over my parents' company, I will be there eighty percent of the time. And... by then, I hope you have decided to make the move." His voice was sober. There was a hint of frustration and sadness there.
It's been three days since he found his way back to me. During these days, we mostly stayed in the house. Ryder was making plenty of calls to New York to give instructions and conduct conference calls. But he never booked a flight back.
"Ryder... how long have you been in Malibu?" I asked him.
He shrugged. "Probably the longest time I have been here."
"When are you coming back to New York?"
"I don't know." He leaned forward and kissed me again.
I kissed him back but something was bothering me.
"Ryder... why aren't you going back to New York yet? Are you not needed there anymore?"
He sighed. "I'm always needed there."
"Then why are you still here?"
He kissed me again and leaned his forehead against mine. Then he looked back at me. "Because... I keep remembering the last time... the last time I left you. We were making love. Then I went back to New York... and then it took me five months to come home to you." The look on his face was sad. "I don't want to be away from you for that long again, Ash. I get scared that the minute I board that plane, I may not keep my promises to you again."
"Ryder..." I whispered. God! I'm so insensitive. He was right. He boarded the plane to Manhattan the last time we were this happy. Then... it took him a long time to come back. And he did a lot of things he wouldn't have done if he were himself.
He shifted on the chair and pulled me so I was sitting on his lap. "I meant what I said, Ash. I will make up for everything that I did to you these past few months. And I have a better chance of doing that if you were with me all the time."
"Geography will always be our problem." I whispered.
"You know my solution to that." He said, planting a kiss on my neck. "And nothing will make me happier."
I sighed. "Can I... think about it?" I asked.
He took a deep breath. "Sure, love. Take all the time you need."
We sat there for a long time, lost in our own thoughts, enclosed in each other's embrace, enveloped in each other's warmth.
I was scared of Ryder going away too. We've been through a lot in the past few months. I don't want to go through another nightmare again.
Please God! I've had enough! I silently prayed. Please let me keep him!
I planned to return Adam's money. With Ryder's money still in my company, I have more than enough to start something in Manhattan. I could start small. Get a small office, renovate it to make it cute and cozy. Hire a fresh graduate to do my telemarketing for me.
I think I can let go of my monthly salary and give it to Nicole. She will do a great job managing the Malibu office. I will just oversee it from Manhattan. I can even come with Ryder once a week for a visit.
I could let go of the little luxuries in life, until the branch in New York takes off. I have some money saved up. Enough for me to fend for myself for the next three to six months, I guess.
Three to six months?
Can I really make it in such a short span of time? Plus, it's New York. Competition will be much stiffer there. To be honest, I'm dead scared. Ever After Malibu is doing fine but it's not yet big enough to save another branch that is losing out. I've been so proud of myself, when I almost raised Ryder's investment in such a short span of time. I wish I could do that again. In Manhattan.
Honestly, I cannot bear losing Ryder again. When he forgot about me, I desperately wanted him to remember me again. I wanted to spend every minute of everyday with him... but I can't because he didn't even know he was in love me.
Now... we're past all that. I was thankful I was given a second chance with him. And I want to make it count. I don't want to live in fear that every time we kiss each other goodbye when he goes back to New York, might be the last kiss we will ever share. We've come too close to that. I came too close to losing him forever.
I felt Ryder's lips on my neck, his warm breath sending shivers down my spine. I giggled and turned to face him. He kissed my lips gently.
"Ryder..." I have to make a decision now. There's no point denying him this. Both of us have suffered too much already.
"Yes, love?"
I took a deep breath. "Okay." I said.
He pulled away from me and looked into my eyes.
"What are you saying?"
I smiled. "If... if you are not pulling out your investment from Ever After Malibu... I think I will use the money to... venture in Manhattan."
He stared back at me, his eyes glittering. "Really?" He smiled.
I nodded.
He leaned forward and gave me a deep kiss on the lips. Then he said to me, "You know when I said move to New York, I didn't just mean move to the city, right?"
I raised a brow. I know what he meant, but still, it would feel nice to hear him say it out loud. "Just exactly what do you mean?" I asked him.
"I meant... move in with me to New York, love." He replied. "As in the whole package. I don't just want you in my city. I want you in my apartment too. And besides, what's the point in living separately there, when we live together here?"