Tears brimmed my eyes. He has no right to play with my feelings. He knows I was so in love with him, and I wanted nothing more in the world than for him to snap out of his brain injury. But he doesn't feel the same. He is taking advantage of my weakness... which he knows perfectly well is... him.

"Stay away from me, Ryder." I breathed.

He took a step forward. "Astrid, love..." He started.

"Don't call me that!" I snapped at him. Tears are rolling down my cheeks now. "Only... only my boyfriend calls me that. And he's not here anymore." I took a deep breath.

"So please, Ryder. Don't play with my feelings again. You have already judged me. The first thing you did when you woke up is crush me. I'm sorry I slept with you. I shouldn't have. Because I know you're not the same man. I guess I just... missed you so much, I gave in. But I can't do that anymore, knowing that you think so low of me."

"Astrid..." He started, but nothing followed. He just stood there, dumbfounded. It genuinely looks like he doesn't know what to say. His face is full of guilt and anguish. And I know that for the first time, I was getting through to him. He was listening to me and seeing how badly I was hurting... how badly he was hurting me.

"I am not giving up hope that someday, you will wake up from all this." I said. "Because if you don't... then I will. I will wake up and stop dreaming that you will come home to me."

I saw John get out of his car. It was my cue to go. I walked past Ryder but he grabbed my hand.

"Astrid..." I stopped walking but didn't turn to him. "I'm sorry." His voice was broken.

I pulled my hand away. "I know. I'm sorry too." And I ran towards John. He took my bag from me and I hopped into his passenger seat.

It seems that Ryder was about to follow me but John stopped him.

"Leave her alone, man. The girl could only take so much shit from you."

"Who the fuck are you?" Ryder asked John angrily.

"I'm someone who will beat the shit out of you if you don't keep your distance from her!"

"Oh, I'd like to see you try!" Ryder snarled at him.

"If that will wake you up, I would have done that a long time ago. But seeing as you're stubborn, I don't think one good beating is enough to bring you back. So stay away, man! Let Astrid heal. She needs that." And John went inside the car and drove away.

Once Ryder was no longer in view, I let all the tears pour. John didn't say anything. He let me cry. And I needed that. I needed to feel free to cry my heart out, and yet assured that I wasn't alone.

The next thing I knew, John was parking his car in his garage. He turned to me and smiled. "You're going to be okay, Ash."

I smiled at him and wiped my tears away. I took a deep breath and said to him, "Come on! Show me your crib, Daddy's boy!"

John laughed. Then he rounded the car and opened the door for me.

"Didn't figure you much to be a gentleman." I joked.

He grinned. "My deepest, darkest secret. This playboy thing... is only my disguise."

I laughed. It felt better, even just a little bit. In my current state, I needed all the laughs I could get.

I went out and looked around. Suddenly, I felt that something was wrong. The place seemed oddly familiar.

He led me inside his house. It's as big as Adam's house, also with a deck and a view of the beach.

I cannot shake off the feeling that something was wrong with his place. Like I have been in this neighborhood before. John hasn't fully settled in. After all, he only moved in a couple of days ago.

"So when you said you needed somebody to clean up your house in exchange for rent, you weren't kidding." I joked.

John smiled mischievously. "I was dead serious."

"Come on, John. You're rich now! Can't you afford a maid?"

"Ah, but I needed somebody creative to decorate this place. And I am hiring the best." He said.

"I decorate wedding venues, John, not bachelors' pads."

"But that's the best part." He said. "Since you're so attuned to what brides want, you can turn this place into a chick magnet."

I groaned. "I knew there was a catch to all these!"

I followed him upstairs where he showed me the guest bedroom.

"Are you going to be bringing women home in the next couple of days?" I asked him.

"You kidding me? I might bring one home tonight!"

"John!" I groaned. "I knew this was a bad idea! I don't want to be talking to your women about you. If I open my mouth, they wouldn't want to see you anymore!"

"Ha! I knew you were the right person to ask to be my roommate!" He said triumphantly and I hit him playfully on the shoulder.

Then I heard a sound of an engine roaring outside, followed by the sound of crashing metal, like somebody just hit a gate or something.

I looked out the window and saw a familiar car parked across the street. Its owner gave his metal gate one hard punch before going inside his house. It was the biggest house in the block. And it was all too familiar to me.

My jaw dropped. I turned to John, a shocked expression plastered on my face.

"Shit!" I cursed. I knew the neighborhood looked so familiar! I wasn't looking while John drove to his house. I was busy crying. "Do you know who lived across the street?"

John shrugged. "Well, even if I didn't have any idea before, the sight of you scrambling out of that house at four in the morning was a dead giveaway."

I was open-mouthed and I knew I was blushing from the roots of my hair. Nobody knew what happened between Ryder and me. I was careful not to tell them. But John knew right from the start. He saw me.

"Wh-why were you awake at four in the morning?" I asked weakly.

He shrugged. "I just moved in. I was unpacking. I looked out the window. I saw you walking out in a rush, hailing a cab. I put two and two together."

I sighed. Again tears began to stream down my cheeks.

John took a deep breath and put an arm around me. "It's alright, Ash. I know how much you love him. So I understand why you would do it. But he doesn't remember you. I hate to think that he would take advantage of you that way. Now, I understand why you were running away from him."

"And you invited me to crash in your house, when he was your neighbor?"

"Well, I didn't know the real reason why you were staying away from him. I thought you'd love the idea of stalking him. I thought I was actually doing you a favor." He said apologetically.

"Stalking?" I echoed. John just grinned, making me smile in return. That was really sweet of him. "Anyway, thanks. I know you meant well. But chances are I'm better off living at my house than here."

"Come on. You're already here." John said. "And he still doesn't know where you are. So you're still safe. My haven, your haven. Let me be your shield for a while." He grinned. "And besides, haven't you heard the saying, 'Keep your friends close, and your enemies closer?'"

I think I get what he means. I can avoid Ryder better if I know where he is. Or at least where his car is, since he never goes around the city without it.

That buys me a couple of days at least... some days of break. And then I will have to face my problem with Ryder Van Woodsen all over again.

Chapter Thirty-Two.

SOMETHING OLD:.

A bride must also complete her ensemble on the wedding day with something old. It could be an heirloom piece, an old jewelry, or anything that the bride owned in the past.

Astrid.

The following days, I barely left John's house. Rose is taking care of all the queries for the company. I speak to my suppliers over the phone. I search through the net to find a new place with a lower rent.

I was getting frustrated because the places with lower rents are really smaller. So it means that I have to rent a separate apartment for myself.

"Why don't you just rent a room instead of a place of your own?" John asked. We were eating pizza in his house.

"I suppose you're right. I mean, I can afford a new apartment, but I don't want to spend too much on that. I still have a long way to go with my company. And I still have to return Adam's money."

"Well, you know I have a spare room." John offered.

"You don't need the money." I told him.

"But you need a room." He said.

I sighed. "I'll think about it."

"Cool." He stood up from his seat and grabbed his jacket.

"Hot date?"

He grinned. "Don't wait up."

I rolled my eyes. "Player." I muttered under my breath.

Ryder's car has not moved in two days, so I assumed he's back in New York and I am safe from running into him for the time being.

I closed the deal on my lease. It's in the center of the city. It's a lot smaller than my current office, but it will do for now. Besides, it's all about the interior design. I just have to make it cute and cozy.

I had to move out too. I have taken most of my personal stuff to John's place. I have considered his offer. But only temporarily. He's a nice guy and all, but it's weird having breakfast with a different girl almost every morning.

I still think about Ryder every hour. I wonder how he is. I still remember our many nights of passion. It still brings tears to my eyes. And I am still praying that one day, he'll come back and tell me he remembers me and he still wants me.

One late afternoon, I was taking out my boxes from the office, when suddenly a voice startled me from behind.

"Going somewhere?"

My heart stopped beating. I took short breaths and turned around to face him.

He was wearing jeans and a white Armani T-shirt. He looked simple. He didn't look like a tycoon at all. His hair was disheveled and he had dark circles around his eyes, like he hasn't been sleeping at all. But God, he still looks beautiful.

"I... I'm moving." I replied.

"Why?"

I shrugged. "This place is... too big for me. I am trying to cut costs so I can make more profit."

He nodded. I saw guilt cross his face. But I turned away. I don't need that. I don't need his pity. And besides, there is nothing wrong with cutting costs and laying low. In fact, I should have done this when I started the company in the first place.

I turned back to my boxes. I lifted one, and it was really heavy. Ryder stood beside me and took the box from my hand, lifting it as if it weighed nothing.

"Where are you going?" He asked.