Haha! Ridiculous! If only Tyler knew who he was talking to.

"Is that all you got? Call the bouncer on me?" Ryder asked squarely. "I'd like to see you try, mate."

Tyler removed his arm from my shoulders and started pushing Ryder.

Oh God! Kill me now!

"Stop!" I said to both men. I am doing this for Tyler. For his health and his pride. Ryder can doubtlessly strangle a man with his bare hands with all the martial arts training he had.

Ryder gave me a hard look. "Please?" I pleaded him.

He gave me one last stern look and then I saw defeat cross his face. "Fine!" Then he stared at Tyler one last time and then he walked away.

A part of me wanted to run after him. Another part of me kept scolding myself for feeling bad. Ryder is not my boyfriend. Yes, we did sleep with each other some times. Yes, we did go out... as a favor to each other. But other than that, there is nothing about us that is real. All of those kisses, all of those hugs were for the show and for the favors we did each other... there were some that were real, but we both decided on their expiry dates and they never happened again after the last time.

But why do I feel so guilty? Why does being here with Tyler feel so wrong? Is there a part of me that truly belongs to Ryder?

When Tyler took me home, I still was not in the mood to talk. When he walked me to my door, and leaned his face down to kiss me, I turned away. "I'm sorry." I said to him. I couldn't bear to kiss him.

"I thought so." He smiled. "I guess, you're not ready to go out with somebody else yet."

I stared up at him. "What do you mean?"

"Is that your ex? The guy in the bar?"

I didn't answer. Because I didn't know what Ryder was to me anymore.

"Seems that he's not over you yet too. Maybe you two just need to sort out your differences. He looked like he was about to murder me when I put an arm around you. And you... you look like you wanted to be with somebody else all evening."

Tyler smiled at me and then he leaned forward to kiss my forehead.

"I really did like you, Astrid." He said. "But perhaps in another lifetime..." He smiled.

He went to his car and before he drove off, he said to me, "See you at the photo shoot. Good luck with your guy."

Was Tyler right? Did I really want to be with somebody else? Did I feel wrong about going out with him because I really do belong with Ryder already? And if he looked like he wanted to murder Tyler, does that mean he feels I belong to him too?

I don't know what I was doing, or why, but the next thing I knew, I was sprinting towards the direction of Ryder's house. I don't know what I will say to him, but maybe when I see him, I will know. When I stared into his eyes at the bar, it seemed that some things made sense... especially about the way I feel about him. Maybe all I needed to do was talk to him once and for all. Maybe it's time to wake up from the dream and start facing reality.

Whatever comes out of our conversation tonight, it seems that I will have to break off my engagement with him tomorrow in front of my family. I need to stop living a lie. For both our sakes... I need to start moving on.

His car was parked in front of his house. Great! He's home!

I rang the bell twice. No answer.

Courage, Ash. Courage. I said to myself. It's now or never.

I heard movement from the other side of the door and I braced myself.

When the door opened, I was shocked. I guess the answer to my questions would be... never!

Long legs, light blonde hair, sparkling blue eyes.

"Oh my God!" Alizia breathed when she saw me. "I'm... I'm really sorry... I didn't mean to... Ryder is upstairs. I thought..." I saw shame cross her face as she trailed off.

Ryder came up behind her. "Who's that..." He trailed off when he saw me.

Not this again! When can my relationships not end with another woman on the background?

I composed myself and with all the courage I could muster, I said, "Just me. I just wanted to tell you that you don't need to come to my parents' thing tomorrow. It's better that way. I'll be the one to tell them that it's over." I stared up at Ryder.

I refused to let tears blind me. I'm not crying over some guy who wasn't really mine! At least not in front of him. "We're... over." I said and then I turned on my heel and left.

Chapter Twenty-One.

WEDDING ANNIVERSARY:.

A celebration of another year of marriage, no divorce, no separation. Whew!

Friday morning, I called up Adam. I wasn't really mad at him. I know that he was only looking out for me. I told him that I will catch a ride with him as I won't be going with Ryder to my parents' party.

"And if they look for Ryder, what will you tell them?" Adam asked.

"That we're taking time off. That I wasn't ready. Ryder is a wonderful guy but he was too serious about getting married and I'm not ready for that commitment yet. Plus, he's in Manhattan eighty percent of the time."

"And what will you really do about Ryder, Astrid?" He asked.

I took a deep breath. "He's not my boyfriend. He's... my boss apparently. I'll keep working on this, until the profits start coming in. And then I'll look for other opportunities. Don't worry, you can hire Nicole to take over. She's just as good as I am." I said. "Then give me a month or two, I'll move out of my room too."

"You didn't have to do that, Ash." Adam said. "Ryder has no intention of pulling out his investment."

"I don't want to owe him anything anymore, Adam."

He sighed. "Alright, whatever. I'll pick you up at two."

Ten minutes to two, I went out of the house to wait for Adam.

I almost choked when I saw Ryder's car outside. He was leaning on the passenger door.

"Wh-what are you doing here?" I asked him.

He was wearing a pair of pitch dark shades, I couldn't see his eyes. The arctic look on his face matches the glacial tone of his voice. "If you want to end this, let's end it together."

"What do you mean? You're gonna come with me to my parents' anniversary so we can tell them that we're over?"

"Yeah, why not? That's what you wanted, right?" He said coolly.

I took a deep breath. "It's gonna be harder for me to tell them if you're there!"

"Then it's gonna be harder. I'm sorry, love, but if there's one thing I will not make easy for you, this is it." He said raising his brow.

"Adam is supposed to pick me up!" I said.

"No, he's not." He said. "He's probably on his way there." Then he motioned his hand for me to get into his car. "Ma'am?"

I groaned and then I went in. He rounded his car and hopped into the driver's seat. We drove off in silence. I looked out the window. My heart is hammering against my chest.

I wanted to touch Ryder. He looks even more handsome than he did the last time I saw him. Only then, his expression was warm and jolly, like I was perfect in his eyes. But now, the look on his face was serious and irritated.

The music inside his car was loud. He made no effort to lower the volume. It was as if he wanted me to know that he is in no mood to talk. And I was glad. I didn't know what to say to him either.

Finally, we arrived at my parents' house.

My family greeted us warmly. Ryder removed his sunglasses to reveal his eyes. He looked like he hasn't slept in days. When he smiled at my parents, that smile didn't touch his eyes. When his eyes met mine, his expression was dry and impassive.

Where is the Ryder Van Woodsen I've known and liked?

I felt like crying. I missed him. The Ryder that I fall asleep talking to, over the phone and in bed. The Ryder who playfully gets carried away with hugging and kissing me.

We greeted our relatives. Ryder felt right at home with them. He played with my nieces. Many of them still remember him from the wedding. We were with my family all day, but somehow, we avoided each other.

I was trying to find the right timing to tell my parents that Ryder and I are over. I know they would be very concerned. I'll tell them that we decided to remain friends and that is why he still came with me.

I found my mother in the kitchen. I helped her with the cupcakes she was preparing.

"You seemed very happy." I told her.

"How can I not be? Your father loves me the same way after all these years!" She beamed. Then she looked at me. "My only daughter is with a man who will take care of her better than I hoped."

I looked away from her guiltily. I took a deep breath. "Yeah, about Ryder and I..." I started. "We're not..."

Just then Ryder burst into the room with my eight year old niece Carol on his back. Must he be such a pain?

"I'm beat, little Princess." He told her as he put her down. "Why don't you play with your brother outside while I catch my breath?"

Then he turned to us. My mother was smiling at him widely.

"You need help there, Mom?" He asked.

Mom? What the hell?

I narrowed my eyes. "Why are you calling her 'Mom'?" I demanded.

"I told him to. You'll be married in a year's time anyway." My mother said.

"Who said we're getting married in a year's time?" I asked.

"Ryder did. I asked him when the big date is and he said he's just giving you a year to tie all the loose ends in your life and he'll keep the pressure on! But by the looks of it, maybe it's less than a year." My mother smiled.

I stared at Ryder. How could he tell my mother that? He knew I was going to tell them that we're over!

I glared at him. He gave me that crooked smile. And instead of being fazed by my anger, he winked at me and turned to my mother. "Yes. I can't wait for her to be Mrs. Astrid Van Woodsen."

My mother laughed. "We'll always be thankful for the day you met Astrid. When Bry...." My mother trailed off.

"It's okay." Ryder said. "I know everything about Bryan and what he did. In fact, it was during those difficult times that I met Ash. It was his loss, and my gain. Astrid is a gem."

"You're too sweet, Ryder. And you know we already consider you a part of this family."

Oh great! Just perfect!

Then my mother turned to me. "You were about to tell me something, dear?" My mother asked.

Ryder raised a brow at me. "Yes, love. What were you about to say to Mom?" He won this game and he knew it. There is no way I would tell my mother that Ryder and I are over after all that.

I was fuming. How could he make this so hard for me?