"With all due respect, you play the part of jealous, possessive fiance quite well." I teased.

He raised a brow. "And you, my love, are not playing the part of comforting, loving, overly sweet fiancee well enough."

I pouted. "What? I was being sweet." I protested.

He shook his head. "Not good enough. I'm still pissed. You promised to comfort me, ease my anger."

"It's not my fault if you were so difficult to please!" I argued.

He shook his head. "On the contrary, I am one of the easiest people to please... and you... can please me the easiest."

I looked up at him nervously.

"One kiss?" He asked.

I tiptoed and gave him a kiss on the lips.

He laughed. "Still not good enough. You ought to give me a real kiss, love."

I pouted and was about to kiss him again when my Uncle called us.

"Shall we go back to the hotel? We can rest now and have an early start tomorrow. I'm sure Ryder needs his rest too."

I stared at Ryder. "I guess I was saved by the bell."

He laughed. "That's what you thought. But you ought to give me that kiss by the end of this night."

"Ryder! Why are you doing this?"

Before he could answer, my Aunt called us to go.

He laughed. "That is what you call 'saved by the bell.'" Then he advanced towards where my Aunt and Mother were. He led them to his car leaving me dumbfounded, nervous and excited all at the same time.

Chapter Seventeen.

CONTRACEPTION:.

Part of the honeymoon checklist, if the couple is not yet planning on having babies immediately after the wedding.

We dropped off my family at Astoria. Then, Ryder and I drove back to his apartment in silence.

We are playing a dangerous game. In truth, no guy will put up with this. Why Ryder is doing so, I don't know. And he's doing it so well, and so nicely, it's getting more and more difficult for me not to feel something for him.

Damn! I'm already physically attracted to him. I didn't want to wish this was all real. I couldn't take that risk.

When he closed the door of his apartment, I turned to him nervously. He was smiling at me mischievously.

"Ryder, I can't really kiss you here. No one is here to see us. No need to put on a show." I said.

He stepped closer to me and tilted my chin gently so he can look into my eyes. "Who said I wanted it for the show?"

Without giving me a chance or warning, he bent down and gave me a thorough kiss on the lips. That kiss swept me off my feet. Once it started, it was so hard to stop.

He ignited the fire that has been threatening to light since this morning when I first saw him. I kissed him back, with just the same passion. He nuzzled my neck, I pulled him to me.

"Ryder, please stop!" I begged him. "We shouldn't be doing this." I said, but I can't make the effort to push him away.

"I know." He whispered. "But I can't seem to help myself."

He went back to my lips and kissed me savagely. I couldn't help responding the same way. I was hungry for him. I wanted him with every bit of my feminine being. At the back of my mind, I can't help thinking how complicated we are making things. We've already slept with each other on two separate occasions. Can we really afford to make a third?

He wound his arms around my waist and lifted me off my feet. I clung to him, neither one of us dare to break the kisses. I landed on his soft mattress. He landed on top of me.

"Ryder..." I took a deep breath. "We have to stop..."

He kept kissing me. "Good luck with that." He said in a low chuckle, then he nuzzled my neck again.

"Damn it!" I cursed and pulled his neck and kissed him on the lips.

I started pulling his jacket off him. I didn't care anymore. All I cared about was how good I feel whenever Ryder's lips land on any part of my body. I wanted him. I knew I couldn't afford to keep him for good, but it doesn't matter. What matters is now.

He took his shirt off, I took off mine. He nuzzled his way down from my lips to my chest. I couldn't contain it anymore. I felt thirsty and hungry and I wanted Ryder at that very instant.

But then he stopped. He stared at me and then kissed me gently on the lips.

"We both know where this is leading to." He whispered.

"Yes." I replied. "Ryder... please..."

He smiled. "This has nothing to do with the necklace I gave you, Ash. Before you put any more ideas in your head."

I laughed. Then I pulled him to me and gave him a gentle kiss on the lips.

"I know. I won't return the necklace in the morning."

"Good." And he started kissing me again. I lost all my clothes save for the black bikini panties I was wearing. Ryder was only in his boxers.

He kissed me again. I cannot contain the fire threatening to consume me anymore. Ryder was teasing me, prolonging my agony.

Finally, I couldn't take it anymore, I said to him, "Ryder, please... just put the rubber on and take me!"

He stopped kissing me all of a sudden. I opened my eyes, worried about what made him stop. He was staring at me curiously.

"What? Why?" I asked.

He shook his head. "I don't... I don't have... protection here, Ash."

"What? You don't keep one in your apartment?"

He shook his head. "I don't bring women here. What would I need it for?"

"Don't you have one in your wallet?"

"Now you know not all guys bring condoms in their wallets." He chuckled.

"Then what are we going to do?"

"If you're worried about pregnancy, then I can withdraw." He suggested.

"But pregnancy isn't the only thing you worry about when you have sex, is it?"

He laughed. "You read a lot of Cosmo magazines!" He said. "In a polygamous relationship yes. But... we are monogamous, aren't we?"

I stared back at him. "What... do you mean?"

"I mean I haven't shared a bed with another woman since I met you, and as long as there's a chance that we're going to do this, I'm not going to."

I smiled back at him. I didn't know what to feel or how to feel. I just thought that right then and there, I died and gone to heaven. I was not expecting Ryder to make that commitment. I thought it was a physical thing for him, but he was willing to make it exclusive between us. And somehow, that thought was as breathtaking as it is scary and confusing for me. But right now, my desire for Ryder prevents me from thinking far beyond and ahead. I'll deal with that thought in the morning.

"Well... you know I haven't... before you. And I haven't..." I stammered.

A glitter lit in his eyes and he gave me a kiss on the lips. "You mean to say you haven't been with any guy but me."

I nodded shyly.

"Then we both have nothing to worry about." He said. He leaned forward and gave me a kiss on the lips. Then he nuzzled my neck again.

"Why are we doing this, Ryder?" I whispered.

He stared at me. "Because I want you, Astrid. Not in the make-believe games that we play. I want you... for real."

I kissed his jaw. "And everything Ryder Van Woodsen wants, Ryder Van Woodsen gets."

He stared at me deeply. And I thought I saw a shadow behind his eyes. He shook his head. "Not everything..." And then without another word, he lost himself in me.

When I woke up that morning, I was naked and wrapped in Ryder's arms. I felt comfortable and safe... adored and protected.

I heaved a sigh. It had been an exhausting lovemaking. I was almost afraid it would consume all of me. I lost myself to Ryder last night. All of me. I didn't think, I didn't speak, I just... felt. I felt him inside me. And now, it makes me want to stay locked in his arms forever.

I stared up at him. He was still sleeping. I knew he had a long day yesterday. He might want to sleep most of the day today. I've imposed too much on him. But he was brilliant! He was the perfect fiance and I'm sure my family does not have a doubt in their minds that I was okay now. That the Bryan-Geena episode no longer bothers me. That my engagement with this wonderful, sweet guy is real.

I propped up on my elbow and watched him sleep. He has a handsome face... with his chiseled features, his perfect nose, the slight cleft on his chin, his long lashes. He was perfect.

Ryder and I, when we're together on equal footing, felt like we're two pieces of a puzzle. We compliment each other, we read each other's thoughts, we finish each other's sentences. We make a great team. He makes me laugh. He saves me from hell. He encourages me to be better. He would have been the perfect boyfriend, perfect fiance. But he's still a complicated man, with a complicated life.

He may want me now, but I'm not sure I could keep up with him for real. When this is all over, he will still be the heir of the Van Woodsen empire. He is everything I tried to avoid since Kevin Moore and his mother insulted me over at dinner many years ago. And Ryder's family is probably a hundred times richer than they were.

I don't think I can afford to break my heart again. And not with Ryder. He is ten times the man that Bryan or Kevin were. Ten times the man I want! And I was afraid I would hurt ten times more if he breaks my heart. And my heart... is the one thing I have left to protect.

I reached forward and gave him a kiss on the lips. Suddenly, his arms tightened around me, he kissed me back. He laid me on the bed and kissed me thoroughly.

"Good morning." He said.

I smiled. I touched his cheek with my palm. "Good morning."

He smiled at me mischievously and then all of a sudden he was on top of me and he was kissing me hungrily. The fire inside me ignited again and soon, I was screaming his name in the gates of Nirvana.

When we woke up, it was already nine in the morning.

"I'm going to the hotel." I told him. "What are you up to today?"

"I'm coming with you." He replied.

"Don't you have work to do?" I asked.

He shook his head. "When my fiancee is in the city, I'm all hers."

I giggled. "You are too sweet! But I'm not really your fiancee, so you don't have to go to hell and back for me."

"As far as your family, and my friends know, you are my fiancee. I'm not going to go down in history as being the first unromantic Van Woodsen."

"Really? Your family has that tradition?"

He nodded. "Well, save for my father, who's too romantic. Apparently, he forgot that the tradition meant he's only supposed to be romantic to one."

"You're not like him?"

He shook his head.

"I thought heirs and tycoons like you should have a line of women waiting for them?"