My heart pounded in my chest. These were Ryder's checks. He hadn't cashed the first one. Nor did he accept the second one that I left in the table for him.

One of the envelopes has something written in it in his neat script: Astrid, Remember your promises. All three of them.

Love,

Ryder

I touched the words with my hand. Tears rolled down my cheeks. It confused me more to wonder how it is that my heart feels broken at this moment. Like I know I won't be seeing Ryder again in my life and a part of me does not like that. Like I wanted to take it all back and wish that I have been much kinder to him this morning. That I was able to thank him enough for what he did for me.

Lying down on my bed, I hugged the envelopes to my chest and I cried my heart out.

Chapter Nine.

HONEYMOON:.

A passionate period following a new-found love or relationship.

A period of harmony.

It was Bryan's and Geena's first month anniversary. I know not because I was keeping tabs, or because I received an invitation for another celebration. I doubt they'll be inviting me to any special occasions in their lives anymore. I couldn't care less. I know it's their first month anniversary because that's how long I have been smiling for real.

I have successfully stopped myself from thinking about Bryan and the what ifs and what could have beens. I know things happen for a reason and someday, I would be thankful that they happened this way.

I was beginning to smile more... and for real. Especially when I look at the ring on my finger and remember that I made one wonderful guy a promise... that I would allow myself to be healed. That I would believe in 'ever afters' again.

Whenever my mother calls, she asks about Ryder. I had to indulge her with make-up stories. And then when she makes an attempt to see the two of us together, I say that Ryder is quite busy with a new bar that he's putting up and he may not be available at the time she wanted to see us. It always seemed to work... so far.

I didn't see Ryder again, but I wanted to. I was hanging out at Oil Rig with my friends, always on the lookout for him.

"He really got under your skin, didn't he?" John asked me once.

"No. I just wanted to see him and ask him how he is." I lied. In truth, I think Ryder really did get under my skin that night I got under the sheets with him. Well, of course, who forgets their first? Maybe the types of Geena do, but I'm nothing like her. I had a momentary lapse of moral values, I gave in to one night of wonderful passion with my knight in shining Armani. How is that easy to forget?

"Why don't you call him then?" He asked.

I did try to call Ryder. Once a day, I would stare at his number on my phone, make up a conversation in my head. I thought I would start by asking if he's on duty at Oil Rig tonight and then conveniently plan a night out there with my friends so I can run into him. But I always chicken out. And so far, once a week, I have been with my friends at Oil Rig, and he wasn't there that it made me wonder if he still works there. But I was too afraid to ask his fellow bartenders.

"I can't believe he refused to accept the ten grand." Dannie said. "He could use it." I wondered the same thing too. "Unless, you slept with him and he felt guilty about taking the money."

Somehow, that comment irritated me so much that I wanted to slap Dannie across the face. But I prevented myself from doing so, because I know that it bothered me because... it was the truth. Sometimes, I think that maybe he didn't take the money because he already took so much from me.

He may not be rich, but Ryder is a stand-up guy. He was a gentleman, and that made me admire him all the more. So much more that it made me feel guilty about sleeping with him. If it weren't for that, he would have taken the money, and there was no reason for him not to. He needed it as much as I did. Especially after renting an expensive suit, an expensive car, and a luxury hotel room.

I stared at the ring on my finger again. Well, at least the ring didn't cost him much. Still, I know it cost him a couple of bucks, while he got nothing from me. Well, just my virginity.

I had been trying to look for a new job, but somehow, the job market is not requiring much. I was already beginning to feel restless. Pretty soon, all the money I have set aside will be gone.

"You can always come back and ask Fiona to give you your job back." Nicole said to me.

"I made her a millionaire, Nic. And she treated me like crap, not even giving me some consideration since she knew what I have been going through anyway!" I said.

"Pride!" Dannie rolled his eyes. "Are you happy to live off Adam's charity for the rest of your life?"

I sighed. "I'll find something soon."

When I got home that night though, I realized I was not as confident as I thought I was. Moreover, I realized that I am slowly getting scared. Weddings have been my life and if I don't believe in dreams coming true or in ever afters, I don't have anything.

I was sitting in Adam's deck, drinking light beer when he joined me.

"How's my favorite cousin doing?"

I groaned. "I'm still a bum as you can see. Nothing seems to be available in the market. I mean, weddings are lucrative, but these companies are not hiring at the moment. One wanted me so much, but felt I was overqualified. I told them I'm fine with starting from the bottom, they said they couldn't do that to me. Sure! They would rather have me living in the streets!"

He took a deep breath. Then he said to me, "I have a client..."

"Sure you do! Congratulations." I said dryly.

He snorted. "Listen before you comment please."

I giggled. "Alright fine. Attorney Adam Ackers, you have a client, and so?"

"He wanted to invest in something." Adam said. And for the first time, I thought he was having some difficulty in composing his sentences.

"If you want my advice, Adam... I can't give you one. I'm struggling with my own life as it is."

"What happened to listen first before you comment?" He asked in an irritated tone.

"Alright fine!" I giggled.

Adam took a deep breath and then he said. "He... has some extra cash, and he didn't want to put it in a bank or on time deposit. He wanted to invest in a business venture, which he thinks is lucrative but he doesn't have any idea about it. He asked me if I knew someone who knows how to manage the business."

I stared blankly at Adam, waiting for him to finish his story. He stared back at me.

"Now, what?" I asked.

He sighed. "It's wedding planning."

"Oh!" I said, realizing now why he is telling me all these.

"Interested?"

"To work for him? Yes!" I said excitedly.

"Not just work for him, Astrid." Adam said. "He wants no part in managing it. He's just the capitalist. He needs a partner who will start the business, manage it, work on it. An industrial partner. He will be the main owner but he needs someone to do the dirty work. And he needs someone who has a lot of experience in this industry. Who knows this business from top and bottom. Who already has contacts out there, and possibly who has a good track record in this type of business."

I can't feel my legs, literally. My hands are shaking and I can actually hear my heart pounding against my chest.

"Adam, Adam! Are you kidding me?"

Adam took a gulp of his beer. "I wish I was." He murmured.

"Oh, my God! But that is huge!"

Adam nodded. "You're not scared, are you? I mean, I thought you were pretty good."

"I think I am! But I haven't managed a firm before!"

"But you did do weddings before."

"It's my life, Adam. I made Fiona rich!"

"Well then now, make somebody else rich! Including yourself."

My hands went to my face and I can feel how hot my face is.

"I don't know if I can do it! I don't know if I can make it that big!"

Adam reached for my hand and squeezed it.

"You have nothing to lose, Astrid."

"Except your investor's money." I said nervously.

"In that case, you should be glad I'm your lawyer." He grinned.

I sighed. It was a lot to think about. "Can I sleep on it first?"