Keyboard Immortal - Chapter 137: Too Big!
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Chapter 137: Too Big!

Even when they were already inside the dungeon, Zu An was still unable to snap out of his daze. He continued staring at Ji Xiaoxi in bewilderment, trying to process what had just happened.

Ji Xiaoxi grew a little flustered under his intense stare. “Teacher Zu, what are you looking at?”

“You shouldn’t address me as a teacher. You’re being too distant.”

“Big… brother Zu.”

“Call me Ah Zu.”

“Ah Zu?”

Zu An circled around Ji Xiaoxi, assessing her intently. He found it hard to draw a connection between this adorable little lady in front of him and the cold, domineering Jiang Luofu. Unable to take the intrigue anymore, he finally asked, “Is Principal Jiang your mother?”

Ji Xiaoxi hurriedly shook her head. “No, she isn’t. She’s my little aunt.”

“Little aunt?” For some reason, Zu An heaved a deep sigh of relief upon hearing that Principal Jiang wasn’t her mother. 

Indeed, how could ordinary men be worthy of Principal Jiang? Even someone as suave as me can barely qualify!

At the same time, he finally understood how Jiang Luofu had come to know about the sealing of ‘little Zu An’. He was still worried that those of a certain cultivation rank could see through his condition, but fortunately, that didn’t seem to be the case. He wouldn’t dare walk the streets openly anymore if the whole world were to learn of his impotence.

Then again, even though they were relatives, wasn’t it extremely unprofessional of Ji Dengtu to share his condition with Jiang Luofu? Wasn’t patient confidentiality the number one value that all physicians had to uphold?

This also explained why Ji Dengtu, despite ogling all of the women around him, chose to turn a blind eye to the ravishing Jiang Luofu. In the end, he just wasn’t in a good position to make a move at all.

Eh, that doesn’t make sense either. Ji Dengtu isn’t related to Jiang Luofu by blood at all. Given his perverted nature, it’s odd that he bears no lustful thoughts toward her at all!

“What’s wrong, Ah Zu?” Ji Xiaoxi noticed that the furrow on Zu An’s forehead was tightening and loosening every now and then, and she was concerned for him. 

“Ah? It’s nothing at all.” Zu An tried to probe a little deeper. “Oh right, where’s your mother? I don’t think I’ve ever heard you mention her before.” 

Ji Xiaoxi let her gaze fall towards the floor. “She was already gone when I was still an infant. I have no recollection of her at all.”

As she spoke, her long eyelashes began quivering slightly, and tears glistened in her eyes. Seeing that she was on the verge of crying, Zu An immediately panicked. “I shouldn’t have asked about that. I’m sorry! Please don’t cry!”

Ji Xiaoxi sniffled a little as she wiped off her tears. She forced herself to smile and said, “I’m all right. I’m already used to it.”

With this, Zu An dared not continue probing any further. He would just have to find another chance in the near future to enquire about it.

Following this exchange, he began to assess their surroundings. At the moment, they were on a plain filled with yellowish blades of grass. It seemed to be autumn. Several smaller clumps of trees dotted the plains, as well as a few small hills. 

He could spot bits of black and yellow at the edge of the horizon, which appeared to be a mountain range or some such. It was just too far away to be certain.

This dungeon looks more ordinary than I expected.

Zu An exhaled in relief. He had expected to be teleported into a world where dinosaurs and all sorts of monsters ran rampant, but it turned out to be not much different from the world outside.

The crowd around him, still excited from entering the dungeon, also began to calm down gradually.

“Mianman, let’s go.” Chu Chuyan saw that Zu An was having fun chatting away with Ji Xiaoxi, but her expression remained as cold and impassive as usual, making it hard to tell what she was thinking. Her dress fluttered with a tap of her feet, and within moments, she was already nothing more than a dark dot against the horizon, disappearing into the distance.

“As expected of the number one prodigy of the academy. Her movement skill is truly amazing.”

“As if it was her movement skill that caught your eye. You’re making it so obvious that I feel bad just trying to expose you.”

“Wipe your mouth. You’re drooling.”

… 

“Protect yourself well. Don’t let yourself get killed~” Pei Mianman shot a seductive look in Zu An’s direction as she relayed her voice to him via ki. Leaving behind a puff of tinkling laughter in the air, she also headed off in the direction Chu Chuyan had taken.

It seemed that they were planning on exploring the area together for now, but considering the massive size of the dungeon, it was likely that they would part ways eventually.

“Woah, that laughter. I feel as though my soul was almost sucked out of my body.”

“Ahhh, I feel like my body is going to melt just listening to it.”

“Nah, your body is just weak.”

… 

Hearing the discussions around him, Zu An shook his head scornfully. 

Look at how useless all of you are! I was pressed right up against her, rolling around on the floor, but I don’t even bother boasting about that. Yet, here all of you are on cloud nine just because you got to listen to her laughter… Haaa, no wonder you all are just students whereas I’m a teacher! 

Shi Kun looked at the silhouettes of the two women, his mind deep in thought. 

I haven’t paid much attention to her in the past, but Pei Mianman is truly alluring. From the way she looks to the way she acts, she emits an irresistibly seductive charm that all men seem to fall for. Those like Chu Chuyan are suited to be wives, but the ones like Pei Mianman would make perfect lovers.

If I remember correctly, she’s not a member of the main branch of the Pei clan. I might just have a chance to make her mine.

In order to avoid suspicion later on, Shi Kun made sure to not come into contact with Zu An, or even look at him. This way, no one would be able to pin the blame on him later on.

“Good luck, everyone. I’ll be heading off first.” Shi Kun clasped his fist at the crowd as he spoke. Other than Zu An and a few others who knew of the devious plan he had concocted, his etiquette seemed perfect. Paired with his good looks, it was likely that this gesture would win him quite a bit of goodwill from the crowd.

The other fifth rank cultivators also began to depart.

“Those in my group, make sure to follow me closely so that you don’t get lost.” Lu De beckoned to the students under him and led them off as well. He wasn’t particularly fond of Zu An, so he didn’t bother bidding him goodbye.

Bai Susu, on the other hand, sashayed over and said, “Teacher Zu, would you like to come with us?”

Zu An replied with a smile, “Teacher Bai, I appreciate your goodwill, but we’re intending to explore on our own.”

You must be kidding! In all of the novels I’ve read, when has the protagonist ever gone along with a group before? He would always strike out on his own, so that fortuitous encounters would be bestowed upon him and him alone.

My luck will be sullied if I follow you all!

“All right, then. Make sure to take care of Xiaoxi, you hear me? There are many in the academy who are fond of her, including me. If anything happens to her… we won’t let you off the hook,” said Bai Susu with a coy laugh.

“Teacher Bai, I can take care of myself!” Ji Xiaoxi’s face reddened. She didn’t want to bring trouble to Zu An.

“You’re truly a kind person, Xiaoxi. Here, take this. If you ever find yourself in a dangerous position, activate it. I’ll rush over right away to save you if I’m nearby.” Bai Susu took out an item that looked a little like a signalling stick and passed it to Ji Xiaoxi.

“Thanks, Teacher Bai.” Ji Xiaoxi accepted Bai Susu’s kind gesture.

Even after Bai Susu left, several others still came over, hoping to change Ji Xiaoxi’s mind. Seeing that her mind was made up, they eventually settled with giving her medicine, weapons, or defensive artifacts.

Zu An was amazed. “Xiaoxi, I didn’t know you were so popular in the academy. It’s almost as if you’re the academy’s pet!”

“Ah~ Aren’t you making fun of me by saying that I’m a pet?” Ji Xiaoxi pouted, clearly a little unhappy.

“I’m saying that you’re adorable.” Zu An couldn’t help but think that even a pouting Ji Xiaoxi looked incredibly cute. He instinctively wanted to pat her head, but he recalled how his hand had become hopelessly swollen the last time he did so, and he could only retract his hand reluctantly.

It’s almost as though Ji Dengtu is projecting himself onto the rest of the world. He thinks that all men are as perverted as he is, so he goes to such lengths to protect Ji Xiaoxi, without leaving the slightest gap.

His explanation placated Ji Xiaoxi, and she broke out in a smile. “Here, I can’t use all of it myself. I’ll give some of this to you too.”

She stuffed some of the bottles of medicine and concealed weapons into Zu An’s hands, which conveniently brought him a huge inflow of Rage points as well. He quickly took a look around him, only to see many of the male students glaring daggers at him.

He had initially intended to attempt to reject the gifts out of politeness, but the reactions of those around him changed his mind. He accepted everything Ji Xiaoxi gave him heartily and said loudly, “Thanks, Xiaoxi! Hahaha!”

Yet another flood of Rage points washed over him.

Tsk tsk tsk. As your teacher, let me give you all a life lesson here: Bootlickers have no future at all! You can fawn over women all you want, but it’ll never get you anywhere!

“Ahem, ahem. It looks like Brother Zu is always in the limelight no matter where you go.” Xie Xiu walked over with a smile, feeling deeply impressed with Zu An. He couldn’t fathom how Zu An had been able to survive to this day, considering how he was constantly courting the aggression of those around him.

Zu An straightened his back and cleared his throat before saying, “Please call me Teacher Zu instead.” 

Xie Xiu stared at him, feeling blindsided.

What the hell? How am I supposed to follow that up?

However, Zu An quickly changed his tune and said, “In view of our relationship, however, I’ll allow you to just call me Ah Zu!”

“Ah… All right, Ah Zu.” Thanks to Zu An’s unexpected interruption, Xie Xiu nearly lost his train of thought. “The dungeon only opens once every few decades. If something happens in here, it’ll be nigh impossible to investigate the matter. Because of that, it has always been an ideal place to kill and plunder. You must make sure to tread carefully over the next ten days.”

“Hahaha, I didn’t expect you to be so concerned about me. All right, I’ve made up my mind. I’m going to make a friend out of you!” At this point, Zu An abruptly changed the topic. “Speaking of which, that beautiful woman sitting next to you during the previous Clans Tournament was your older sister, right? Why didn’t she enter the dungeon as well? Can you introduce her to me?”

Xie Xiu was rendered speechless. 

Are you trying to get close to me just because you want to flirt with my big sister?

“My big sister isn’t interested in dungeons and that sort of stuff…” Xie Xiu laughed awkwardly before swiftly fleeing the area. It felt rather uncomfortable for him to be trying to get close to a man.

Before long, the only ones left at the starting point were Ji Xiaoxi and Zu An. Ji Xiaoxi couldn’t help but remark, “Ah Zu, you’re a bad person.”

“How am I a bad person?” asked Zu An.

“You’re still trying to flirt around even though you’re already… already…” Ji Xiaoxi shot a glance at Zu An’s crotch, but her shyness made her eyes flicker around awkwardly. “…like that down there.”

“What do you know? This is called preparing for the future! I’ll be up and about by the time this dungeon closes anyway!” replied Zu An. “Only fools prepare for what is right ahead of them. Those like me who possess true wisdom are constantly thinking multiple steps ahead!”

Ji Xiaoxi blinked her eyes in surprise. She didn’t expect him to be so optimistic. After all, finding the Evanescent Lotus in this massive dungeon was like trawling for a needle amidst the boundless ocean.

She felt that Zu An’s optimism was unfounded, but she couldn’t bear to point it out and dampen his morale.

“Where should we head to?”

“We’ll head west! West all the way!”

… 

The two of them chatted merrily as they headed westward, when all of a sudden, Zu An heard the sharp rustle of wind. He immediately grabbed Ji Xiaoxi’s arm and pulled her to the side.

Several yellowish spines had pierced the very ground that they had been standing on earlier. Had they not moved away earlier, the spines would have penetrated their bodies, dealing severe damage to them.

“What’s going on?”

Zu An noticed a rat clicking its teeth in their direction. While it did resemble a rat in terms of appearance, it was massive in size, comparable to a warthog!

However, the most pressing matter at the moment was the numbing pain assaulting Zu An’s arm. He turned to Ji Xiaoxi with an exasperated look and said, “Xiaoxi, the antidote~”