"Tell me now," I commanded. "What did you say to her? You didn't--you didn't--"
"I did. I told her everything."
"EVERYTHING! You don't mean--"
"I mean everything. 'Twas time she knew it. I went to that room meanin'
to tell her and I did. At first she didn't want to listen, didn't want to see me at all or even let me in. But I made her let me in and then she and I had it out."
"Hephzy!"
"Don't say it that way, Hosy. The good Lord knows I hate myself for doin' it, hated myself while I was doin' it, but it had to be done.
Every word I spoke cut me as bad as it must have cut her. I kept thinkin', 'This is Little Frank I'm talkin' to. This is Ardelia's daughter I'm makin' miserable.' A dozen times I stopped and thought I couldn't go on, but every time I thought of you and what you'd put up with and been through, and I went on."
"Hephzy! you told her--"
"I said it was time she understood just the plain truth about her father and mother and grandfather and the money, and everything. She must know it, I said; things couldn't go on as they have been. I told it all. At first she wouldn't listen, said I was--well, everything that was mean and lyin' and bad. If she could she'd have put me out of her room, I presume likely, but I wouldn't go. And, of course, at first she wouldn't believe, but I made her believe."
"Made her believe! Made her believe her father was a thief! How could you do that! No one could."
"I did it. I don't know how exactly. I just went on tellin' it all straight from the beginnin', and pretty soon I could see she was commencin' to believe. And she believes now, Hosy; she does, I know it."
"Did she say so?"
"No, she didn't say anything, scarcely--not at the last. She didn't cry, either; I almost wish she had. Oh, Hosy, don't ask me any more questions than you have to. I can't bear to answer 'em."
She paused and turned away.
"How she must hate us!" I said, after a moment.
"Why, no--why, no, Hosy, I don't think she does; at least I'm tryin' to hope she doesn't. I softened it all I could. I told her why we took her with us in the first place; how we couldn't tell her the truth at first, or leave her, either, when she was so sick and alone. I told her why we brought her here, hopin' it would make her well and strong, and how, after she got that way, we put off tellin' her because it was such a dreadful hard thing to do. Hard! When I think of her sittin' there, white as a sheet, and lookin' at me with those big eyes of hers, her fingers twistin' and untwistin' in her lap--a way her mother used to have when she was troubled--and every word I spoke soundin' so cruel and--and--"
She paused once more. I did not speak. Soon she recovered and went on.
"I told her that I was tellin' her these things now because the misunderstandin's and all the rest had to stop and there was no use puttin' off any longer. I told her I loved her as if she was my very own and that this needn't make the least bit of difference unless she wanted it to. I said you felt just the same. I told her your speakin' to that Heathcroft man was only for her good and for no other reason. You'd learned that he was engaged to be married--"
"You told her that?" I interrupted, involuntarily. "What did she say?"
"Nothin', nothin' at all. I think she heard me and understood, but she didn't say anything. Just sat there, white and trembling and crushed, sort of, and looked and looked at me. I wanted to put my arms around her and ask her pardon and beg her to love me as I did her, but I didn't dare--I didn't dare. I did say that you and I would be only too glad to have her stay with us always, as one of the family, you know. If she'd only forget all the bad part that had gone and do that, I said--but she interrupted me. She said 'Forget!' and the way she said it made me sure she never would forget. And then--and then she asked me if I would please go away and leave her. Would I PLEASE not say any more now, but just leave her, only leave her alone. So I came away and--and that's all."
"That's all," I repeated. "It is enough, I should say. Oh, Hephzy, why did you do it? Why couldn't it have gone on as it has been going? Why did you do it?"
It was an unthinking, wicked speech. But Hephzy did not resent it. Her reply was as patient and kind as if she had been answering a child.
"I had to do it, Hosy," she said. "After our talk this evenin' there was only one thing to do. It had to be done--for your sake, if nothin'
else--and so I did it. But--but--" with a choking sob, "it was SO hard to do! My Ardelia's baby!"
And at last, I am glad to say, I began to realize how very hard it had been for her. To understand what she had gone through for my sake and what a selfish brute I had been. I put my hands on her shoulders and kissed her almost reverently.
"Hephzy," said I, "you're a saint and a martyr and I am--what I am.
Please forgive me."
"There isn't anything to forgive, Hosy. And," with a shake of the head, "I'm an awful poor kind of saint, I guess. They'd never put my image up in the churches over here--not if they knew how I felt this minute. And a saint from Cape Cod wouldn't be very welcome anyway, I'm afraid. I meant well, but that's a poor sort of recommendation. Oh, Hosy, you DO think I did for the best, don't you?"
"You did the only thing to be done," I answered, with decision. "You did what I lacked the courage to do. Of course it was best."
"You're awful good to say so, but I don't know. What'll come of it goodness knows. When I think of you and--and--"
"Don't think of me. I'm going to be a man if I can--a quahaug, if I can't. At least I'm not going to be what I have been for the last month."
"I know. But when I think of to-morrow and what she'll say to me, then, I--"
"You mustn't think. You must go to bed and so must I. To-morrow will take care of itself. Come. Let's both sleep and forget it."
Which was the very best of advice, but, like much good advice, impossible to follow. I did not sleep at all that night, nor did I forget. God help me! I was realizing that I never could forget.
At six o'clock I came downstairs, made a pretence at eating some biscuits and cheese which I found on the sideboard, scribbled a brief note to Hephzy stating that I had gone for a walk and should not be back to breakfast, and started out. The walk developed into a long one and I did not return to the rectory until nearly eleven in the forenoon. By that time I was in a better mood, more reconciled to the inevitable--or I thought I was. I believed I could play the man, could even see her married to Herbert Bayliss and still behave like a man. I vowed and revowed it. No one--no one but Hephzy and I should ever know what we knew.
Charlotte, the maid, seemed greatly relieved to see me. She hastened to the drawing-room.
"Here he is, Miss Cahoon," she said. "He's come back, ma'am. He's here."
"Of course I'm here, Charlotte," I said. "You didn't suppose I had run away, did you?... Why--why, Hephzy, what is the matter?"
For Hephzy was coming to meet me, her hands outstretched and on her face an expression which I did not understand--sorrow, agitation--yes, and pity--were in that expression, or so it seemed to me.
"Oh, Hosy!" she cried, "I'm so glad you've come. I wanted you so."
"Wanted me?" I repeated. "Why, what do you mean? Has anything happened?"
She nodded, solemnly.
"Yes," she said, "somethin' has happened. Somethin' we might have expected, perhaps, but--but--Hosy, read that."
I took what she handed me. It was a sheet of note paper, folded across, and with Hephzibah's name written upon one side. I recognized the writing and, with a sinking heart, unfolded it. Upon the other side was written in pencil this:
"I am going away. I could not stay, of course. When I think how I have stayed and how I have treated you both, who have been so very, very kind to me, I feel--I can't tell you how I feel. You must not think me ungrateful. You must not think of me at all. And you must not try to find me, even if you should wish to do such a thing. I have the money which I intended using for my new frocks and I shall use it to pay my expenses and my fare to the place I am going. It is your money, of course, and some day I shall send it to you. And someday, if I can, I shall repay all that you have spent on my account. But you must not follow me and you must not think of asking me to come back. That I shall never do. I do thank you for all that you have done for me, both of you.
I cannot understand why you did it, but I shall always remember. Don't worry about me. I know what I am going to do and I shall not starve or be in want. Good-by. Please try to forget me.
"FRANCES MORLEY.
"Please tell Mr. Knowles that I am sorry for what I said to him this afternoon and so many times before. How he could have been so kind and patient I can't understand. I shall always remember it--always. Perhaps he may forgive me some day. I shall try and hope that he may."
I read to the end. Then, without speaking, I looked at Hephzy. Her eyes were brimming with tears.
"She has gone," she said, in answer to my unspoken question. "She must have gone some time in the night. The man at the inn stable drove her to the depot at Haddington on Hill. She took the early train for London.
That is all we know."