"And you went."

"Your vision can cloud over when you are in love. I did not think of my family or my future. I wanted to be with him." She pinned Kate with a stern eye. "But I want you to know, I did not do anything to shame myself. I lived with some of the other girls. And he in an apartment of boys."

"How long were you there?"

"Not long. Luke came storming into town about three months later and gave me an ultimatum. 'I will wait no longer for you, Edna Schrock. There's three other girls back home if you'll not have me.'"

"What did you say?"

"I yelled at him. He yelled at me. We made so much noise, the upstairs neighbors pounded on the ceiling. And then he kissed me right on the mouth and I thought I'd died and gone to heaven. I packed up my things and came home with him, and we haven't ever once yelled at each other since we were married."

"One kiss changed your mind?" Kate said.

"Nae, that was more like the icing on the cake. About two minutes after I got to Chicago, I realized what I had left behind. The exciting world outside of Apple Lake wasn't all that exciting. It was loud and rude and frantic." Edna regarded Kate with a perceptive eye. "You know what I am talking about."

Kate nodded.

Edna patted Kate's arm. "The Plain life is simple and slow, but it is not for everyone. The way we live requires great sacrifice. We sacrifice the self to find God. 'He that loveth his life shall lose it; and he that hateth his life in this world shall keep it unto life eternal.'"

"It is so different from where I have been the last two years," Kate said. "Selfishness there is encouraged. My professor scolded me once for letting someone else in line ahead of me during an audition."

"Jah, I can imagine."

"But the Amish way isn't the only choice that requires sacrifice. I love to sing, but if I choose the academy, I will be separated from my family. It will never be what it was."

"I do not know what to say to you, Kate, except that my family is the most important thing in the world to me. That is what I learned those few weeks in Chicago. I could never give up my family." Edna studied Kate out of the corner of her eyes. "Then again, I cannot carry a tune in a bucket. So I never faced your dilemma."

"Will I go to hell?" Kate said quietly. That seemed to be Naomi's opinion.

"Oh, sis yusht! What an idea! If you choose to follow your music, then believe in God and live a good life. I cannot believe you will go to hell. But decide now how it will be. If you leave after you are baptized and have made your pledge to God, that is another story. But before? Of course not."

Kate hadn't realized how tense she was until she looked down at the balled-up fists in her lap. She relaxed her shoulders and took a deep breath. "That is what I wanted to know."

Edna was thoughtful for a minute. "You say you need experiences."

"Jah."

"Then come with me tomorrow to the rehabilitation center. Naomi and I volunteer there once a week."

"I don't think Naomi will welcome my presence."

"Ach, that girl has had a bee in her bonnet since nineteen-seventy-three. Don't mind her."

"Then I would love to come with you."

"Gute. I will pick you up at seven-ten. And don't be late. Tardiness puts Naomi in a bad mood. And you don't want to see her in a bad mood."

Kate laughed. Edna could summon mirth from a funeral gathering.

Chapter Eleven.

Dear Kate, So, an interesting Amish guy? Is he hot? I will miss you desperately if you decide to be baptized, but knowing your disposition, you would be very happy there.

Jared's condition deteriorated this week. I am so frightened and upset. They still won't let me see him, and his mother is demanding more time with Alex. How can I keep Jared's mother away from my baby? I have never had the forgiving heart you possess. I hate his whole family. But I think of you and try to be kind. It hasn't worked so far, but I am trying.

If you come back to school in September, you're welcome to live with me. My brother says he will pick you up and bring you to Milwaukee anytime you want. I think he has a crush on you.

Maria Kate folded her letter and stuffed it into her apron pocket. But she brooded over its contents while she browsed the rows of quilts. She looked up as an Englisch couple in Bermuda shorts and sunglasses crossed the threshold of Martha Mullet's quilt shop.

"Take a look, Vivian," said the man as he removed his floppy hat. "If you can't find a quilt in here, you are the most persnickety person in the world."

Kate moved away from the new customers, losing herself deeper among the dozens of quilts hung in neat rows around the shop. There were a fair amount of quilt shops in Apple Lake-many Plain folk had stores attached to their homes or on their property-but none were as large or well-stocked as Martha's. She carried quilts made by local Amish as well as inventory from as far away as Pennsylvania and Ontario. Her store sat in the heart of downtown Apple Lake-if four street corners could be classified as downtown-and attracted a plentiful tourist business.

"Can I help you find something, Kate?" Martha adjusted a lopsided quilt on the hanger and glanced at the customers who had just entered her shop. "Before the crowds get heavy?"

"Denki. Anna and I are making a baby quilt, and I am looking for ideas."

Martha pointed to the back corner of the store. "Any of our designs would make a nice baby quilt, but our smaller ones are over there if you want to take a look. I got a new pattern from my cousin in Lancaster that is a variation of the log cabin. So cute. Let me know if you need anything-although the afternoon rush is about to start and you might not be able to find me before nightfall."

Kate smiled. "I will manage."

Martha bustled over to the awestruck customers standing in the center of the shop. "Can I help you find a quilt?"

Kate strolled up and down the rows of quilts, her eyes feasting on the vibrant colors. She marveled at the intricate applique designs, each so unique and so skillfully crafted. Applique was completely beyond Kate's abilities. Just like she had told Sarah Schwartz-gute milking hands but unfit for quilting.

What was she good at? She liked to garden and can and even do laundry. But what was she good at?

The answer was obvious. She was good at singing. And in this community, they couldn't care less. Sometimes she felt about as small as an ant on a watermelon.

Her mouth twitched upward at the sight of a bright pink and green watermelon appliqued on a nearby quilt. Not always that small. During her visit to the rehabilitation center with Edna and Naomi, she sang opera songs to several patients, Amish and others, and got nothing but sincere gratitude in return. One elderly woman told Kate her singing took the pain away and asked her to hurry back. Was this how she should be using her talents?

No matter what Aaron or Ada or anyone else believed about her motives, she yearned to know the mind of Heavenly Father concerning her life. When she peeled away the layers of her choices, His will lay at the heart of it all. She would do anything God asked of her. That intense yearning was the reason Nathaniel said she would surely get an answer. "'If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not, and it shall be given him,'" he had repeated to her on more than one occasion.

Running her hand over a charming pink-and-purple quilt on one of the tables, Kate decided it would be the perfect pattern. Not too difficult but quite beautiful. She lifted it from the pile and found a place to sit on a small wooden chair tucked between two rows of plump quilts. The pattern was a series of butterflies cleverly sewn from a combination of squares and triangles. Kate smiled. She could stitch straight lines with proficiency. Matching corners was another story, but Anna could see to those details.

"Titus put my sewing machine into good shape again. Gute thing, because the girls need new school dresses for the fall."

Two ladies-Kate couldn't tell whom-wandered down the row behind her. She listened to their friendly chatter as she drew the butterfly pattern into her notebook. She didn't really pay attention to what they said until she heard her name.

"Our church is at Weavers', Lord willing. They have a nice big room for it."

"Weavers'? Have you seen Kate Weaver since her return? They say she had a time of it in Milwaukee. Someone beat her up."

Kate held her breath and clutched her hands together to keep from trembling.

"Oh, Lisa, she looked something terrible. And she is such a pretty girl too. Her dat was fit to be tied."

"Seeing as how he probably bears the guilt of it. He should have put his foot down when she wanted to go off to that academy," said Lisa. "My Adam never would have stood for it."

"What choice did Solomon have? He could not very well lock her in the house if she set her heart on going. Oh, look at this one. A double wedding ring."

Kate slunk down in her chair for fear of being seen.

"That girl always had a rebellious spirit, Diann. Even in primary school I could see it-wanted to show off her talent and put herself above others simply because she could sing. Too vain for her own good."

Kate bit her lip as a growing ache throbbed in her chest.

"She was proud of her talent." A quilt swished close to Kate's head. "But is there one among us who has not been guilty of pride? Kate is young. She will learn."

"I reckon she learned plenty at that academy," Lisa said. "Ada told me she came back worldly and headstrong." She lowered her voice. "Her dat must stiffen his spine and do what needs to be done to rein her in."

"Poor Emma, to have such a daughter."

"Miriam says the girl loves the world too much to be content with the Plain life. It is better that she leave us than stay and influence the young people."

Kate realized whom she was overhearing. Miriam was Nathaniel King's mother, and Lisa Fisher was Miriam's sister.

"But has anyone tried to help her? Bring her back to the love of Christ?" Diann said.

"It would do no good to try," Lisa said. "She has already dug her hole deep enough. Unfortunately, my nephew has caught her eye, but we pray that will come to nothing. All Miriam can hope is that Kate will stay away from him."

Kate held her breath as she heard the two women move away. She had to flee before the sob that wanted to escape her lips gave her away. She slung the butterfly quilt over the chair and bolted for the door, making sure to keep her head low so that no one would catch a glimpse of her face before she managed to make her exit.

How could people say such things about her parents-two of the kindest, most charitable people in the world? Kate had never known Dat to raise his voice in anger or to rule his children with force or fear. His hurt was tangible when Kate left home for the academy, but he had never upbraided or pressured her. He gave her wings in hopes that she would fly back to him of her own accord.

My dat is five times the father of any man in this community, she wanted to scream. They should be ashamed to speak of him so.

Kate hurried outside and ducked into the narrow alley between buildings before tears soaked her cheeks and the hurt bubbled over into loud sobs from her lips. Did everyone talk about her like this, clicking their tongues and shaking their heads in resignation, as if Kate were some lost cause beyond help or redemption? Did they all wish, like Miriam, that Kate would go back to Milwaukee and leave them alone, never again to disturb their peace?

She leaned her back against the side of the shop and let her head fall back until it rested on the wall behind her. Would her absence be the best thing for everyone? Would anyone miss her if she were gone?

A soft voice intruded into her thoughts. "In that position, your tears run straight into your ears. Then your hearing gets all sloshy." The words were teasing, playful, but when Nathaniel King said them, they felt like a caress against her skin.

She stood up straight and quickly wiped away any evidence that she had been crying. A futile gesture, since he had already seen her, but one that made her feel more presentable.

He came to her and laid a gentle hand on her shoulder. Eyes brimming with concern, he studied her face. He lifted his hand, hesitated for a moment, then took his thumb and wiped a single tear from her cheek. "Oh, Kate," was all he said.

The compassion in his voice ambushed her and the tears flowed anew, unchecked down her cheeks. Maybe there was one person in Apple Lake who would miss her if she were gone.

"Quilt shops aren't usually a touching experience for me," he said, "but take me into a lumberyard among the two-by-fours and freshly cut planks and I weep like a baby. The new wood smell always gets me right here." He tapped his chest with his fist.

Kate laughed through her tears. "I think it was the bear-claw pattern on that quilt hanging in the window that inspired me. I could never look at a burgundy red without having a deeply emotional experience."

"Here," Nathaniel said, putting his hand into his pocket. He pulled out a crisp white handkerchief and handed it to Kate. "I carry this with me wherever I go."

"It comes in handy," Kate said, sniffing and mopping up the moisture from her face.

"And not just for wiping faces. You can use it for a bandage and tourniquet if you cut off your finger with a circular saw. Or if you stuff one end of it into your hat, it hangs down to prevent sunburn." He motioned with his hands how to stuff it into a hat. "And if you are an old lady, you can use it to wave to people who are leaving on trips. My grandmammi wouldn't be caught dead waving at someone without her hanky. She insisted on the handkerchief method. I think it used to be one of the original Confessions of Faith."

"You truly need nothing else in your pocket to be perfectly happy," Kate said, feeling steadily better.

Grinning, Nathaniel stuck his hand into his pocket again. "Well, not entirely true." He withdrew his fist and showed Kate. "Without fail, I carry four things in this pocket. The handkerchief, in case I encounter a pretty girl crying in the street; breath mints, in case I want to talk to that pretty girl; a pocketknife, because I might want to clean my fingernails; and my travel-sized measuring tape, because you never know when you're going to want to measure something."

"Like the quilts in Martha's shop," Kate said.

"Or the wheels on that buggy over there," Nathaniel said, pointing in the direction of the street.

"Or how big that tree is."

Nathaniel nodded. "Or how big my neck is. That always impresses the girls."

Giggling, Kate wadded the handkerchief in her fist and leaned against the wall. "And how many girls have asked to measure your neck?"

"Ach, too many to count."

Nathaniel leaned closer to Kate and placed his hand on the wall twelve inches above her head. His smile, which had faded when he first encountered her, returned with full force, sending Kate's senses reeling. "I love it when you laugh," he said.

Suddenly shy, Kate lowered her eyes. "Nathaniel King, do not embarrass me."

They both heard someone clear her throat and looked up to see Nathaniel's aunt Lisa and another woman staring at them.

Kate stiffened.

Nathaniel immediately removed his hand from the wall but kept the dazzling smile constant on his lips. "Hello, Aunt Lisa, Diann. Do you know Kate Weaver?"

Lisa glanced at Kate then back at Nathaniel. "A single man who has been baptized, such as yourself, must watch himself carefully. You cannot flit about the town doing whatever you want, seeing whoever you want."

Nathaniel seemed genuinely puzzled at such an onslaught, but his smile stayed put. "Denki, I will live by that advice."

"Gute," said Lisa. "Now you can walk me home."

When Nathaniel hesitated, she said, "Cum, cum. I need your arm to support me."

"But Lisa," said Diann, "we came in your buggy."

Lisa shot Diann a look. "I can fetch it later."

Diann squinted her eyes and wrinkled her nose. "Now that is plain silly." She nudged Lisa with an elbow. "Leave your nephew to his private conversation and drive us home. I've got laundry yet to look after."

Lisa relented. "Very well," she said. She peered at Nathaniel, obviously trying to sear a hole into his forehead. "Mark my words." She shook her finger at him. "Mark my words."