"No, we wanted him to leave her alone. When he came over, we both fought him off. I pushed him into the counter and knocked him out," Kate said, her heartbeat pounding in her ears. She wadded the bottom of her skirt in her fist.

And for that, I lost everything.

"He later died of these injuries," said the judge.

"Yes."

"What is your opinion of Miss Trujillo's character?"

Kate glanced at Maria, who smiled reassuringly back at her. "Don't sugarcoat the truth," Maria's lawyer had told her.

"I could not approve of her relationship with Jared. A woman should marry before...having relations with a man."

"I understand," said the judge. "But the Adamses want me to rule that she is an unfit mother. We have heard their opinion. I want to know yours."

"There is no mother as devoted to her child as Maria is to Alex. I have never heard a cross word from her. She is kind and loving and very careful for his health."

The judge laid his substantial stack of papers on the table. "Miss Weaver, let me hear something that hasn't been rehearsed a dozen times with Miss Trujillo's attorney."

"Every word is true."

The judge pinned her with a stern eye. "Have you got anything else?"

Kate hated the memories. "Three weeks after Alex was born, he got colic and cried for hours at a time. Jared lost patience and went to grab Alex from the crib. Maria stood in his way and wouldn't let him touch the baby. Jared cracked two of her ribs."

Jared's father hunched over and cradled his head in his hands.

"She would die to protect Alex," Kate said. "So she moved out. Alex is her life. It would destroy her if you took him away."

The judge looked at Maria, then at Jared's mother. "My job is to determine what is in the best interest of the child. No one else."

"I do not understand why they want to take Alex away from his mother," Kate said.

"She killed my son," said Jared's mother, unable to contain herself.

The judge looked over his glasses. "It is not your place to speak, Mrs. Adams. The police determined the incident self-defense, and I have no compelling evidence to suggest otherwise." He held up his hand. "And I'm not interested in hearing any more character witnesses for your son." Removing his glasses, the judge took a deep breath and gazed at Jared's mother, his eyes reflecting surprising compassion. "I am sorry for the loss of your son. To lose a child is unbearable. Can you see how taking Miss Trujillo's son would be just as unbearable for her?"

Maria, stoic up to this point, let a tear slip down her cheek. Kate blinked rapidly.

The judge tapped his pile of papers on the table and looked at the Adamses' lawyers. "You've paraded friends and family of the Adamses in here, listing all the advantages they can offer their grandson. But you left out the most important thing. They can never give him a mother. In cases such as these, as you well know, the burden of proof rests on those who would take the child from his mother, especially where no father is present. Granted, I have indulged you in this because of the Adamses' standing in the community, but I think enough is enough. Seeing no evidence to the contrary, I am granting Miss Trujillo full custody."

Both Maria and Jared's mother burst into tears while the judge made a hasty exit.

Kate ran around the table and threw her arms around Carlos and Maria at the same time. They laughed and cried and tried to ignore the sobs coming from the other side of the room.

"Thank you," Maria said, holding tight to both her brother and Kate. "I am so relieved, I think I might throw up." The emotion that Maria had bottled up for weeks overflowed, and she couldn't stop the tears. Half a box of tissues was not enough to contain her joy.

Kate suddenly felt her legs go weak. Alex and Maria were her only family now. The breathless thought of what might have happened almost overcame her.

Jared's father, with his arm wrapped around his wife, left the room, with their attorneys following close behind.

"He kept asking you questions," Carlos said, taking Kate's arm and nudging her into a chair. "You looked as white as a sheet. I thought you were going to pass out." Carlos laughed in relief. "He believed everything you said, though. You have that look of pure goodness about you."

"What if he hadn't?" Kate said.

"Don't think about that."

Maria's attorney left to finalize the paperwork, and Carlos and Maria sank into chairs next to Kate.

"What should we do to celebrate?" Carlos said.

"I'm going to go home and eat cheesecake until it comes out my ears," Maria said.

"I'm going to memorize music for my first Romeo et Juliette rehearsal next week."

Carlos waved his hand dismissively. "Boring."

The door opened behind them, and they turned to see Jared's father standing in the doorway. The anguish on his face was easy to recognize.

They stared at each other in uncomfortable silence.

"She felt so helpless," he finally said. "She didn't know what else to do with all that grief."

He strode slowly to Maria and placed a piece of lined paper and two one-hundred-dollar bills into her hand. "For the baby," he said. "And my phone number. If you ever need anything-anything at all-please call."

He seemed to want to say more but instead nodded to Maria and was gone. Maria disintegrated into a fresh bout of tears. Kate and Carlos held her hands and let her weep.

Chapter Thirty-Five.

First day of rehearsal. First day of school. Should be fun, thought Kate. Should be fun.

"Measurements for costumes will be taken on Monday," Mrs. Malkin said. "Specific times are on the handout."

Dr. Dibble stood front and center. "Music must be memorized in three weeks. That is the end of September. No exceptions. You can all be replaced if need be." He pointed to Kate. "Glad to see you have decided to join us and cut other distractions out of your life, Miss Weaver." He waved his baton at the attentive cast. "If any of you are serious about your careers, this is where it starts. I expect you to work harder than you've ever worked, but if you prove yourselves here, fame awaits." He adjusted his glasses and pointed to the accompanist. "You all have your music. I would like to start with the 'Prologue' and then skip all the way to 'Frappez l'Air.'"

Kate propped her elbow on the table in the cafeteria and leaned her head on her hand. Even she, with her simple upbringing, knew this constituted bad manners, but she didn't rouse herself enough to care. She was a week into school and already looked forward to semester break. Rehearsals for Romeo et Juliette were as Dr. Dibble promised-grueling-and her class load left her almost dizzy, but she refused to muster any emotion at all. When she allowed herself to feel anything, the pain of losing Nathaniel overwhelmed her. A single-minded numbness was her only refuge from the grief.

Chelsea and Shannon chatted away about Romeo et Juliette, Shannon with a sandwich in one hand and her phone glued to the other. How she managed to eat and surf the Web at the same time was a seven-day wonder.

Kate only barely paid attention to their conversation.

Chelsea tilted her head to look into Kate's face. "Kate, are you okay?"

"I guess the Ben and Jerry's didn't help," Shannon said.

"Carlos ate most of it."

"As far as I'm concerned, every guy in the world can go jump in Lake Michigan," Shannon said. "I'm sick of all of them." Then, suddenly brightening, she said, "Look, there's Carlos." She bobbled one of her curls and hastily put her purse on the floor. "For a guy that good-looking, you'd think he'd find a nicer-fitting pair of jeans."

Glancing behind her, Kate saw Carlos coming toward their table. He wore the same pair of baggy pants he wore almost every day, and they looked as if they hadn't been washed in weeks. Carlos liked the "scruffy look," with his face whiskery but not grown to a full beard. His ruffled hair completed the picture of a man who couldn't care less about his appearance but somehow managed to look attractive anyway.

As soon as he caught sight of Kate, he practically sprinted to the table and slipped into the chair next to her. "How are my favorite girls in the world?" he said.

"We're okay," Shannon said.

"Not you, Shannon," Carlos said. "I was talking about Kate and Chelsea here."

Shannon cuffed Carlos on the arm.

"Hey, you're definitely in my top one hundred," Carlos said. He tried to dodge another blow.

Carlos and Shannon considered each other for a moment before Carlos cleared his throat and stuck his hand into his pocket. "A letter came for you today to my apartment."

"Me?" Kate said.

He handed her a crinkled envelope that had her mother's handwriting across the top. Kate laid it on the table and smoothed it carefully with her hands. "It's from Mamma," she whispered.

"Good," said Carlos. "I was beginning to think you didn't actually have a family."

Chelsea stood up. "Walk me to the rehearsal hall, Carlos. It's on your way."

Carlos and Chelsea walked away and still Kate smoothed the wrinkled letter over and over with her hand.

Shannon watched Kate expectantly. "Are you going to open it?"

"I'm afraid of what it will say."

"Do you want me to have a look at it first?"

Her fear seemed irrational, even to herself. "Will you read it to me?"

"Okay," Shannon said. She took a miniscule pink fingernail file from her purse and slit the envelope. Unfolding the single sheet of paper, she looked at Kate doubtfully. "Are you sure?"

Kate nodded.

Shannon glanced around her and swallowed hard.

"Dear Kate, Nathaniel gave me this address and said this is where you are staying. I hope you are not angry at me for writing. We have tried to respect your wishes and leave you alone. I understand that you have made the choice not to join the Church and to stay at the academy. Your dat and I love you. If this is what truly brings you happiness, then we are happy. We will miss you terribly, but do not worry, we can manage without you. The grands are getting old enough to be a big help at harvesttime. Do not worry. We will be good.

"We long for you to visit us. You do not need to stay very long. I will not ask you to see anyone you do not wish to see. It is true, Nathaniel was very unhappy when you left, but please do not worry about him. He will heal in time, Lord willing. He is already seeing Sarah Schwartz several times a week, and Aaron tells us that they like each other very much. He deserves much happiness. Hopefully he can find it with Sarah.

"The harvest will be shortly upon us. Elmer is not looking forward to the cider pressing, but Dat told him it builds muscles. If he wants to impress the girls, he will do the pressing.

"We love you and miss you. Please, write to us so we know you are safe and happy. We will look every day for your letter. Love, Mamma."

An ache of loneliness pulled at Kate from far away. "Nathaniel," she whispered.

Shannon folded the letter and placed it on the table. "So, that's it."

"When did I ever tell them I wished to be left alone?" Kate propped her elbow on the table and rested her forehead in her hand. "God is punishing me. And I cannot bear the chastisement."

"No, no. Don't ever believe that," Shannon said. "Not every bad thing that happens to you is because some celestial being is angry. I think it would be much more like God to be merciful than vengeful, don't you?"

Kate straightened and looked at Shannon in wonder. She seemed to recall having this very conversation with Nathaniel's mother. Except at that time, she was attempting to convince Miriam of God's mercy. And here was Shannon, trying to convince her.

But she didn't believe it anymore. After all she'd been through, she'd be naive to let God run her life. She'd seen where that had taken her.

Chapter Thirty-Six.

Nathaniel sat in silence, eating his obligatory helping of potatoes and corn, when he heard a soft knock at the back door.

"I'll get it," Mamm said, hurrying into the room, as if she constantly stood at her post just inches outside the kitchen doorway.

Two little boys, no more than six years old, stood on the back porch and looked longingly into the house. "Can Nathaniel play?"

"Nathaniel, you have some visitors." Mamm opened the door wide and glanced at Nathaniel expectantly.

He rose slowly and dropped his napkin on the table. "Hello, Toby. Who is your friend?"

"My cousin Yost," said the first little boy. "He wants to play baseball."

Nathaniel went to the door and his mamm backed away. "I'm sorry, Toby. I can't play tonight."

Toby stared at Nathaniel with wide, puppy-dog eyes. "My dat bought a new bat."

"Tonight's not a good night," Nathaniel said.

"Yost ain't gonna be here long," Toby said, "and he wants to see you hit."

Yost grinned, revealing a sparse collection of teeth, and he nodded enthusiastically.